A Private Talk with Peanutron

...P Not many At Treasury, Miller will follow the Blumenthal line on the dollar and on the economy—although he's a lot more ambitious than Mike ever was Otherwise, why would he throw in with us for 18 months when he could have safely stayed put at the Fed until 19929 Adams probably thinks we've done him a favor by throwing him off a leaky boat Goldschmidt will do as he's (old and not make waves It must be said for Pat Harris that she was the first person ever to run Housing for 30 months straight without a scandal She emphasized the urban side of the Department Strauss recruited Moon Landneu to do the same Unless Landneu has friends with sticky fingers, we'll be all right there too No one, of course, can run HEW If Califano couldn't, Harris certainly can't Since she expected to be fired, we can expect a honeymoon of sorts as she tries to find her way around that maze Ol' Griffin was notably successful in taking the Justice Department out of politics, and he's mighty proud of that Ben Civiletti will follow in his footsteps Energy, of course, is in a shambles But we've got a feeling that Charlie Duncan will be a better manager than Jim was You'll be hearing a lot about that fellow in the next few months Is that it/ We haven't jogged the transistors today Q Thank you, Mr Peanutron By the way, have you heard what Ralph Nader said...

...He said getting rid of Joe Califano was like getting rid of Mickey Mantle because he couldn't get along with the bat boy P Do we have an FBI report on Ralph Nader...

...Andrew J. Glass a frequent NEW LEADER contributor of the Cox Newspaper bureau in Washington...

...P Two reasons, basically First, he had his own operation over at Treasury that did not do business with ours He believes Hamilton Jordan is more fit to clean motorcycle parts in AJbany, Georgia, than to be our chief of staff Second, Blumenthal stuck a knife in Bert Lance when he let that investigation by the Comptroller of the Currency get out of hand As the man says "Don't get mad Get even " Q So the new test of survival in this Administration is loyalty to the President and the top White House staff It no longer matters how smart or able you are if you can't get along with Hamilton Jordan Just turn in your "report cards" to the Georgia Mafia and they'll let you know whether You'll do Is that how it's going to be from now on'P We should not have to remind you that Georgia has a lot of smart and able people Also, now that Griffin Bell has gone back to Atlanta, there is one less Georgian in the government But it's all a matter of balance A Catholic departs, a Catholic arrives We lose a man from the Pacific Northwest, we hire another man from the Pacific Northwest And we can tell you that it won't hurt to have Neil Gold-schrmdt doing his number before Jewish audiences next year 0 I thought you were above that kind of politics Where did you pick it up from...

...P. Again, it's not that simple He came to see us last November, when we finally signed all that energy legislation, and said he had a lot of scars attached to him and it was a good time for him to say goodbye We told him we'd think about it He came back in February and said he'd burned his bridges on Capitol Hill and felt he should go We asked him as a favor to stay Over lunch, before we packed ourselves off to Tokyo, he told us once more that it would be wise to find somebody new well before the primaries started We listened and did not respond However, he clearly had to go at some point, and this looked like a good time to clear the decks and take our chances with Charlie Duncan, whom we've known since he was running Coca-Cola down in Atlanta and who has done a fine job at the Pentagon Q. Just so we don't leave anybody out, why did you fire Brock Adams at Transportation...

...That woman has always been in business for herself and she's never had anything good to say about you—except when she thought it would help her career P Secretary Harris is a special case She has a constituency—in the Democratic Party, in the Urban League, among certain women and in the black community They would have gone bonkers if we had torpedoed her, much as we'd really have liked to But since we couldn't get rid of her, it made sense to promote her Q Are blacks sacred cows in this Administration...

...P Pretty much so Andy Young would have to kick in the side of the barn before we pulled him out of the Umted Nations In his case, though, not only are we truly fond of him, but the general who's running the store in Nigeria would be drinking vodka toasts in Moscow right now if we didn't have Andy to hold his hand Q. What about Jim Schlesmger...

...P. From Fritz Mondale and Bob Strauss Q. If loyalty is such a big deal, why did you move Pat Harris into the Califano slot at Health, Education and Welfare...

...P For a fellow who has been poking his nose into other people's business in this town lot nearly 20 years, you haven't learned much Things are always a lot more complicated than you reporters think Joe was spouting his notions all over the place—even after we'd laid down the company line People were beginning to think we were running one of those seminar-type institutes in the Rockies instead of a government in Washington What's more, Califano was showing up at Kay Graham's Georgetown dinner parties with Teddy Kennedy We know Kennedy will steal the Democratic norm-nation from us next year if he gets half a chance And those folks at the Washington Post will gladly ram us below the waterline if they get half a chance Q Well, if it's not pure Richard Nixon, it's pure Lyndon Johnson Bobby bugged him—so he fired Mc-Namara from the Pentagon Teddy bugs you—so you fire Califano from HEW Up on Capitol Hill, they are saying that you are cutting down the tall trees and leaving the monkeys behind P. We thought you were here to ask questions, not to draw historical parallels Q OK Why did you let Mike Blumenthal go...

...Or did he quit/ P It doesn't matter If he hadn't quit right then, he would have been fired He had a couple of yo-yos he brought over from the Hill who were making their own deals and not answering Hamilton's phone calls One had to go, the other had to be chewed out But Brock stuck by them—so he went If there's one thing we really admire, it's loyalty QSince you brought it up, how are you going to sell + America on the idea that a 34-year-old guy who chases women, ducks parking tickets and swills Amaretto and cream in bars can be a credible White House chief of staff P You've been known to chase women and duck parking tickets yourself Anyway, assuming you're serious, the answer is that Ham Jordan will do quite well because the President loves him like a son, because Ham is totally devoted to the President, because we believe Ham has terrific political mstincts, even if he doesn't return phone calls, and because we're not about to break in anyone new, no matter how great a political genius, at this stage of the game Q. Let me ask another serious question What changes in Administration policy can people expect as a result of the shakeup...

...P God knows, it may prove to be a mistake Yet with the New Hampshire primary campaign only seven months away and with people totally tuned out on our Presidency, we felt we had no choice Besides, Joe Califano may be the smartest man in Washington, but we never liked him He was Mondale's "find,' you know Then he ran off to China with all his fancy Pucci-Gucci friends When we found out that on his way back he stopped off in Honolulu to rest while a whole bunch of health bills were on the House floor, our circuits nearly blew We told Fritz to tell him to get his sun-tanned hide back here Q If I didn't know you better, 1 would swear I was interviewing Richard Nixon Were all those guys sacked for sheer political expediency...

...You were fond of him, too, yet that didn't keep you from firing him And hasn't he been more right than wrong on the energy crisis...

...Washington-USA A PRIVATE TALK WITH PEANUTRON BY ANDREW J GLASS HAMILTON JORDAN Washington Deep in the bowels of the White House, there is a computer known as Peanutron that is programmed never to lie to you After the Caller Cabinet shakeup last month, we decided to ask Peanutron some questions about what is really going on Q. Why did the President allow the atmosphere in the country to turn sour—the very thing he sought to avoid after coming down from the mountain and giving such a stirring speech about a crisis of confidence in the land...