Text of Hammerman Letter and List of Gifts and Loans

...I said, "How would you like to try the days when a father wants his children to have none of the things he ever had so he can have more'" I finally gave him $5 and I haven't seen a penny of it since MARTIN J MURPHY In January of this year Murphy was experiencing a serious financial crisis as a result of several tragedies, all of which had taken place at the track I loaned him $100 and forgave the loan this June at a time when $95 was still outstanding I did this because I believe Martin Murphy to be an outstanding member of the community, and one of the most considerate patrolmen we've ever had checking parking on our street R R (MUTT) FARRINGTON Far-rington is the executive secretary of my college fraternity, Phi Omega, which is another way of saying he's never been able to hold down a regular |ob He is an outstanding executive secretary, however Since I left college, I have had 17 changes of address, I have never informed Phi Omega about any of them, yet not once has a Phi Omega fund-appeal failed to reach me within a week of the day it was sent out After Julia and I separated that time and not even my accountant knew where ! was going to stay, I arrived at this crummy residential hotel on Broadway to find a letter asking if 1 wanted to make a contribution for a swimming pool in back of the Phi Omega house Throughout the period the FBI was looking for Angela Davis, I kept thinking that if they really wanted to find her they would just turn the case over to Phi Omega I finally had a drink with Muff Farrmgton and laid if on the line If he would see to it that my name was expunged from the mailing list, I would contribute $50 to him personally He took it and ran YEE PING I first heard of Ping two years ago, when he was recommended as the outstanding laundryman on our side of Broadway Since that time, we have had a normal business relationship I take the shirts in, he gives me a ticket, I come back with the ticket, he gives me the shirts, I pay him But last spring, I found that he turned my brand-new $14 95 Bloomingdale's sporting-check into something resembling the last flag of the defenders of Corregidor I told him he was responsible, he told me the shirt came in that way, I told him I was going to small-claims court, he told me to go ahead As I started to storm out, advising him not to expect any more business from me or anybody I knew, he said, "Don't you want take shirt with you'" So I picked up the poor mangled thing from the counter and threw it at him, screaming, "No, it's yours It's a gift'" VICTOR BIDELSKI Bidelski is one of the outstanding mathematics teachers in the public school system I believe he nearly received the John Dewey Award for figuring out how to get the teacher s union some extra yield on their pension fund Last spring, I loaned Bidelski $50 on two occasions I did this to keep an outstanding and brilliant teacher in the public school system The gift represents no conflict of interest, since Bidelski and I share the same goal?getting Frank Jr through freshman algebra MORTON LEWIS I have known Morty Lewis since I moved to 76th Street six years ago He is, of course, one of the outstanding physical therapists in the city Last week, I loaned him $50 I gave him the money because, of all the outstanding people on the block, he seems to me tops in common sense and dedication and vision-qualities I'm sure you've noticed while working with him on the nominating committee Calvin Trillin...

...Text of Hammerman Letter and List of Gifts and Loans Dear Joe Here is the list of people I ve given gifts and loans to over the last year, although it seems to me that when a person has to turn over this kind of information to the nominating committee just to be elected president of the West 76th Street Block Association, the post-Watergate morality business has gone too far If I wanted to be cleaner than a hound's tooth, Joe, I'd move to the goddamned suburbs Yours, Frank Hammerman ARNE GUSTAFSON Arne Gustaf-son has been the super of our building tor four years, and is generally acknowledged to be one of the five or six surliest supers in the West 70s Just before Christmas, I gave him $20 and wished him a happy holiday season I gave him the $20 because of his service over the year, and because he had certain special family responsibilities associated with food, clothing and shelter, and because last season when ! only gave him $15 he banged garbage cans in front of my window at 6 30 every morning for two months FRANK HAMMERMAN JR Frank Jr is, as you know, my son, age 13 Last summer, he asked for a loan of $10 to buy a kit that could be made into a model of an intercontinental ballistic missile I said, "What ever happened to the days when little boys made their models out of scraps'" He said, "What ever happened to the days when a father wanted his children to have everything he didn't have...