What Ails doc Welby

...Best Over the next few years it gradually changed to brown In real life, it usually goes the opposite way Many believed Young had a rare disease, called optionitis, the fear an option won't be picked up if an actor looks too old This was an especially worrisome problem in the early '70s, when youth was having its day in TV programing {The Young Lawyers, The Young Rebels, The Rookies), even if The Young Tree Surgeons never got out of the planning stage One possibility is that Doc Welby has finally come to his senses and said to himself, "Mark, what kind of crap is this Half the doctors I see at the clinic have grey hair, why continue putting on airs...

...On Television WHAT AILS DOC WELBY BY MARVIN-KITMAN A number of ABC affiliates canceled the October 8 episode of Marcus Welby, M D (Tuesday, 10 p m ) because it told the old sexual-molestation-of-a-14-year-old-boy story But which segment of their communities the stations were afraid would be upset—homosexuals or heterosexuals—was not quite clear Certainly the show was m no worse taste than the October 1 episode, dealing with the low sperm count of a California politician Even before the current flap developed, it was obvious this was going to be a very big year in the life of television's oldest medical practice (est 1969), with crisis following upon crisis First, one of Doc Welby's patients died The case was very off-beat Usually, a Welby patient thinks he has a rare disease, like acute intermittent porfina, and then discovers he doesn't have it That's the conflict At other times a patient has a more common disease, like Huntington's chorea, and doesn't want it That too provides enough dramatic tension to fill an hour on a Tuesday night Either way, Doc Welby man-El ages to cure the person He is one of the greatest healers in the history of television Why, he makes Kath-ryn Kuhlman look like a rank amateur In fact, the diseases that appear on Maicus Welby reach well beyond the show itself The morning after Doc Welby treats a case of, say, hydrophobia, doctors' offices across the nation are filled with patients who are convinced they have it Even worse, a malady on Mai cus Welby quickly spreads to medical shows on other networks Sometimes, of course, the pattern is reversed, with the disease hitting another program first and ending up at Marcus Welby Disorders on TV are highly contagious The reason for this is well-known All illnesses have their followers, and as soon as a disease breaks out on one series, it is spread by network officials to the other medical shows m the hope that viewers will come with it So it's very difficult to stamp out a television ailment until it has run its course ? A similar thing happens on nonmedical shows Joe Mannix came down with hysterical blindness on Mannix (CBS, Sundays, 9 30 p m ) a while back (Actually, ever since Freud explained it was all in the mind, practically nobody suffers from hysterical blindness in real life —apparently you don't get what you know you can't have ) Within months most of the TV crime shows had plots based on the same mental aberration Somebody in Hollywood must have been reading a book about Freud Speaking of real life, incidentally, it's possible to develop an immunity to a disease once you've had it But in television you must have it at least twice, because of reruns, and if the show goes into syndication, you can get it over and over again But I digress The second major crisis in Doc Welby's professional life is the result of a plot innovation The good doctor has begun working at a clinic "This marks the first format change since the series premiered five years ago," a low-keyed ABC press release noted In truth, the development was the biggest thing on TV since margarine Three reasons have been suggested for Welby's new pursuit 1. He is turning senile 2. His practice is declining (People may have heard rumors that patients are dying on him ) 3. He has contracted a social conscience Whatever the explanation, though, a good argument can be made that Welby's weird clinic venture is a sign that socialized medicine is truly on its creeping way m this country, as the American Medical Association has been warning all these years I wouldn't want to go overboard on this So far Doc Welby is spending only two afternoons a week at Lang Memorial Hospital's Family Practice Training Center, and in the episode where he sought to build up that California politico's sperm count, the clinic was mentioned only once Besides, my sources at ABC say there is nothing significant about the change in the story line "We're simply enlarging his scope,' I was told "The show is more realistic this year ' Nonetheless, the TV clinic could have a broad impact A lot of Americans watch Maicits Welby as a kind ot documentary on the medical profession (I personally watch it for the acting ) As a consequence, a whole generation has grown up believing that doctors make house calls and work on one case at a time, giving each patient their undivided attention But if viewers are troubled that their own doctors give them only a few minutes, it's their own fault They don't realize the TV stones they see are metaphors —like Methuselah's age m the Bible —and that a 12-minute visit m real life is the equivalent of a full week of intensive care on Mat cm Welby My own theory is that Doc Welby probably said to himself, "Well, Mark, you've made enough money out of this community [Santa Monica] It s time to make a contribution [tax deductible] " I do admit, however, that it's been hard for me to get over the shock ot America's leading physician doing time at a clinic True I go into a state of shock easily and recover very slowly For instance, I still haven't gotten over the time several years ago when Doc Welby was paid by a patient Admittedly it was only an apple pie "Payment raises a conflict-of-interest problem," explained an ABC executive who couldn't remember the sordid subject of fees ever coming up before on the popular medical show "But don't worry We're going to look into this There'll probably be a flood of protest mail from the AMA and we want to be prepared " I worried anyway This shocking episode seemed to be some sort of advertisement for socialized medicine, slipped into the series by the Communists and liberals who, TV viewers have often informed me, control the networks Everybody knows TV doctors normally work for the good of it Patients go to Doc Welby's office week after week and are treated regardless of race, creed or previous condition of bank account In the whole history of televised medicine no doctor had ever been shown charging a dime for some of the best medical attention the world has seen Obviously, something was awry and the apple pie incident led me to investigate the whole problem of fees Judging by the standard of living depicted on the show, Doc Welby does very well The money has to come from somewhere It's always possible he has another business on the side, like a gas station, that supports his altruism at the office Or maybe he has been performing abortions in the back room, or doing cosmetic plastic surgery, or even selling drugs to teen-agers No, I preferred to think that Welby has been charging patients all along, but that the show just doesn't have time to get into this aspect of the profession He goes to the bathroom, he changes his underwear every morning, and we don't see those things either JL^L- egarding Welby's rates, a bit ot arithmetic is necessary The average successful doctor, at $15-$25 a visit, earns roughly $100,000 for a 52-week year Doc Welby works only 26 weeks a year, and takes private patients only one night a week Since he sees a maximum of one patient per night, he would have to charge roughly $4,000 a visit just to meet his annual salary requirements Someone going to Welby for an upper respiratory infection, or cold, would be charged $4,000 The fee may sound a little high, especially when you consider what percentage Blue Cross and Blue Shield will pay Cold-hearted medical insurance plans don't take into account the little extras—like compassion and a doctor's willingness to see no other patients while he is concentrating on your case The truth is, many of Doc Welby's former patients are probably still in hock, paying the bills from last year's shows But that's nothing I've heard that Dr Ben Casey's patients have bills left over from eight years ago And many of those people had neurosurgical disorders and were supposed to be on welfare' Moreover, they had to pay for the same operation twice, when the shows were repeated But I digress The third major crisis in Doc Welby's life, and perhaps the most serious, is that his hair is turning silver again When the series began, Robert Young had the same silver hair viewers enjoyed and cherished in the days of Father Know...

...Anyway, many younger doctors wish they looked older" Unfortunately TV logic says otherwise Although you could rush the miracle serum—Grecian Formula No 18—to Hollywood by dog sled, it won't help The fact that Welby's hair is being allowed to turn silver again is a sure sign the series has a terminal illness (sagging ratings) ABC is letting the good doctor pass on with dignity...