Running for the 'Crazy Seat'
KITMAN, MARVIN
On Television RUNNING FOR THE 'CRAZY SEAT' BY MARVIN KITMAN of the 34 candidates listed in Broadcasting, the authoritative TV industry journal, as being considered by the White House for the...
...Q. What is your platform, Mr...
...It pained me to have to bring up the matter of my candidacy again...
...My other major qualification is that I am a stockholder in all the corporations I would be empowered to regulate...
...I have powerful friends at a certain biweekly intellectual journal...
...As a polite reminder of my qualifications I sent the White House a photostat of the $50 bill I contributed to the Republican parry coffers in 1972, with copies to Haldeman, Ehrlichman and Stans to refresh their memories...
...Q. Do you support the President's other policies...
...A public television producer wrote to thank me: "It is heartening to know there are still men willing to take a Presidential appointment...
...I had long hair and could dress just as sloppily as Commissioner Johnson...
...A. Personally, it arouses my prurient interest...
...Arthur Unknown* The song is usually sung before ball games on television...
...But I would like to be your second choice...
...I also wrote to Commissioner Johnson asking for his support...
...I don't understand his pessimism...
...According to high-level sources, a long list of names is compiled...
...A. Let's take violence off the TV screens and put it in the streets of Cambodia where it belongs...
...At this point in time, prospective government officials are staying away from Washington in droves...
...The lyrics are reprinted below for anyone who wants to sing along...
...Below is a transcript of the discussion...
...By tradition there is one seat-At most-Reserved for the defender of the public interest...
...It read: "Resolved that the New York chapter hereby supports the candidacy of Marvin Kitman for FCC commissioner in the event that (1) the President can't make up his mind, and (2) nobody is willing to serve...
...I want to make it perfectly clear that I had to promise these men nothing in exchange for their aid-except cable television franchises in all the big valleys...
...I'd only be repeating what others more qualified than I have said, namely H. R. Halde-man, John Ehrlichman and Spiro Agnew...
...Now that I was officially receiving "consideration," to use the White House's exact word, my position improved considerably...
...It's far too early to count me out...
...Meanwhile a committee of distinguished scholars, broadcasting authorities and network executives -many of whom served under the name "Anon"-was organized to help draft my platform...
...With Johnson gone, the commission would desperately need a "no-man...
...I also went to the people to ask for their support in the race...
...The President has asked me to thank you for . . . expressing interest in appointment to the Federal Communications Commission," wrote Jerry H. Jones, Special Assistant to the President...
...the other six seats are held by defenders of the broadcasters' interest...
...Q. Bias in network news...
...As my campaign slogan put it, "He Knows Where the Closets Are...
...what your qualifications are for FCC commissioner...
...Oh, I say, does Ki-it-man still ra-nt and ra-ve O'er the land of Doyle, Dane And the home of Susskind, Dave...
...And the Rockettes kick high, Nielsen families reply, Giving proof through the trite That our brains are still dry...
...Besides, a TV critic has never been appointed to the seven-member commission, empowered by the Communications Act of 1934 to regulate broadcasting in the public interest...
...A. I approve of the Nixon Administration's plan for public TV, apparently based on the model of the Chilean government's public TV system...
...Strong personal reasons motivated my decision...
...At first, nobody took my campaign seriously...
...A former FCC Chairman, Porter is a partner in the highly regarded firm of Arnold and Porter, as well as an adviser to candidates...
...But in all matters of taste the FCC should go by the standards set by Pat Nixon or Tri-cia...
...In my opinion, TV newsmen should not even be allowed to use the words 'White House' in any story implying wrong doing, as in 'a White House staff member was indicted today.' It should be 'people in or near 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.*" I further stated, "As an FCC commissioner I would urge immediate restoration of meaningful programming to the air, such as the daily game shows and soap operas from which so many of us draw spiritual and intellectual sustenance...
...He is the first person in the history of the FCC who looks like Joel Grey...
...A. First, I am a registered Republican...
...What does it matter if I think the President ended the war peacefully with honor...
...Only you and I had the common sense to see the wisdom of the networks' reducing their coverage by 66 per cent...
...The date for filling the Nick Johnson seat came and went without any appointment being made...
...Q. How about violence...
...Although I would have liked to see slightly different wording, it was clearly a mandate from the people...
...Endorsements poured in from the industry...
...A. Just as a man can't understand a woman, or a white can't understand a black, so a critic can't understand the pains, aches and agonies of a network unless he is a stockholder...
...I wasn't discouraged...
...Instinctively, the White House then picks the worst candidate on the list...
...I think criticism is too important to be left in the hands of the critics...
...It's a job for lawyers...
...At the conclusion of the meeting, the New York chapter considered a resolution of endorsement...
...Where do you stand on the major issues confronting the FCC today...
...The resolution was carried by a vote of 23-1...
...At $38,000 a year, the new position would certainly be an improvement over biweekly magazine journalism Of course, my prospects aren't bright...
...But on June 12 the Administration replied...
...Work was finished on my campaign song, too...
...I had announced last spring, after much deliberation and consultation, that I was available to fill the Nick Johnson slot...
...My campaign manager insists the President will never select me...
...The jobs usually go to lawyers or industry executives...
...A political circus like the Watergate Hearings belongs in Madison Square Garden, not on the people's airwaves...
...Kitman...
...A. There is no room for Communists in television news...
...Whose broad beam and bright eyes Through the Cavettless night, O'er the day-parts he watched While he giggled and snickered...
...This error has been made before...
...The other big thing going for me is the way the Nixon people actually make appointments...
...But naturally, if nominated, I will put my one share of stock in each network in trust until my seven-year term in office ends -To avoid the slightest hint of impropriety...
...A. Politics has no bearing on the FCC...
...Afterward, the members of the New York chapter asked me to clarify some of the major points...
...The Administration still hasn't pulled my income tax form for audit, the traditional method of letting a journalist know he is in disfavor...
...I realize that I could never be your first choice for the job," my letter explained...
...On Television RUNNING FOR THE 'CRAZY SEAT' BY MARVIN KITMAN of the 34 candidates listed in Broadcasting, the authoritative TV industry journal, as being considered by the White House for the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) seat that opened up June 30, the only one I personally endorsed was Marvin Kitman...
...Commissioner Johnson will not be an easy man to replace...
...Yet TV critics are just as knowledgeable...
...National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences...
...This is the so-called "crazy seat," for which I felt eminently qualified...
...Q. Can you give us your thoughts on obscenity in broadcasting...
...His advice was "Drop out of the race...
...That is my position, and I will stand on it no matter how unpopular it might make me with the White House...
...Have you ever considered becoming a TV critic...
...It had come to a standstill because of Watergate...
...In 1968 they didn't take Dick Nixon seriously either when he announced he was running for President...
...I am a family man in my prime time, and thought I should finally undertake something substantial with my life...
...I prefer you to any man who gets it," explained a writer at Variety, "but don't use my name, lest I seem biased in my stories...
...Q. Isn't it a little irregular for a TV critic to own stock in CBS, ABC and RCA...
...The first campaign speech in the history of the FCC was delivered at the ?Arthur" not "author...
...The alleged Watergate Incident," as I said in my application to the President, "does not belong on TV every day...
...And frankly, I wasn't expecting to get a response from the White House...
...A few days after the letter arrived, I had a secret meeting with one of my advisers, Paul Porter, at the Pierre Hotel...
...Nobody should be condemned on the basis of hearsay evidence...
...the far-sighted banana Oh, say, I can see Kitman on FCC, Who so proudly we failed While the test pattern flickered...
...Your desire to be of service is appreciated, and I assure you that your application will be given careful consideration...
...I promptly dropped Porter as an adviser...
Vol. 56 • August 1973 • No. 16
