On Television
KITMAN, MARVIN
ON TELEVISION Anetwork public relations executive called several weeks ago to remind me that there was a new television season this fall. "I don't want to influence your opinions," he said, "but I...
...A teacher in the New York City school system, she began translating: "Mucho mul hombre means . . ." "Shuush," said the pr man, creeping up behind us in the dark, "Bob Williams can't hear...
...He's out of water, but his teeth are still pearly white...
...The picture is in focus...
...7th Cavalry Regiment lost 21...
...Robert Williams, the New York Past tv critic, and his pr shadow were also in the screening room...
...Everybody knows he will get massacred...
...I'd also keep a couple of kids in every screening room, beautiful children from Central Casting, who would fight in the background over which programs they wanted to watch...
...Look at that guy," 1 whispered, pointing at a bearded man on the screen who had been hiding out in the desert for over a month...
...Most of my time at the networks was spent in total isolation, an unnatural way to watch television shows...
...As my first morning at nbc wore on—I was previewing a western called High Chapparal and a situation comedy, The Mothers-in-Law —I suddenly began to realize certain things about the luxurious experience...
...If critic Williams had heard less of the dialogue at the screenings, he might not have written in his column a few days later that this is a "gloomy new tv series show season...
...That's what I'm doing here this morning...
...For the first time you will be able to see an adventure story about an Indian boy whose mother is an elephant (nbc's Maya), a great improvement over that poor fellow whose mother was a car...
...1 asked her if there were any special problems connected with seeing so many new shows, now that the era of the half-hour program was over (The premiere episode of Cimmaron Strip ran 90 minutes...
...I would hand each critic a can of beer (or mix him a martini) and a bag of potato chips...
...Three Marshall's deputies died (1 learned from Cimmaron Strip they were paid only one dollar a day, so that didn't reduce the Federal budget much...
...It really isn't fair to judge a series by its first episode...
...Presumably these are used when a vice-president has something urgent to say about the programs he has been watching, like "You're fired...
...In practice, I discovered that morning, critics actually see technicolor movies on a big screen...
...With the Labor Day Weekend coming up, I decided to keep score of the fatalities...
...Yes," I explained...
...a crime show whose hero is a detective in a wheelchair (nbc's Ironsides...
...I'm sure, will run for live years—except Custer...
...At nbc, each of the 14 modern swivel chairs has its own set of dials for controlling the room's lights and sound, as well as two telephones...
...If I was going to see one network's new programs, it seemed only fair that I give the others equal time...
...bankrobbers and cattle rustlers...
...Not even Gleem works that well...
...Although it is a well-known fact that critics don't mean anything in the television business — except in the case of specials and documentaries, where they mean everything —the networks treat friend and foe alike...
...All the westerns this year are stressing that language, without subtitles, to get a larger share of the ethnic audience...
...In the four days at the networks...
...High Chapparal two hours...
...The main cause for disappointment in and for criticism of television," Marshall McLuhan explains in The Medium Is the Massage, "is the failure on the part of its critics to view it as a totally new technology which demands different sensory responses...
...Since all the critics dislike the programs, it's hard to play favorites...
...she confessed...
...28 Nazis...
...A mix-up occurred...
...What does the responsible critic do in a case like that...
...But spread out over two weeks—the premiere period—all that gore may not be so noticeable...
...a situation comedy about a flying nun (abc's The Flying Nun...
...Is there anything wrong...
...By the second day 1 couldn't stand the privacy any longer, and invited my wile to join me for a screening of Cimmaron Strip at cbs...
...The gringos also suffered heavy losses...
...These critics insist on regarding television as merely a degraded form of print technology...
...There should be communal screenings for critics who would sit around the most expensive color tv set money can buy...
...As the hours passed, I found k myself working out a reform policy on screenings which would give critics a tv experience pur excellence, and 1 pass it on now to the networks at no cost...
...Suffice it to say for the moment that it really is "A Very Special Season" (as abc's advertising calls it), "The Year of Event Television" (nbc ), and "In the Winner's Circle" (cbs...
...She was just finishing up her private study of the 1967-8 season...
...I was disappointed...
...1 know this makes the 1967-8 season sound like a violent one...
...During the commercials, the caterers from "21" would run an icebox that would be memorable...
...asked the nbc public relations man who had been assigned to take care of me...
...By arranging private screenings—a kind of lock-in—and preventing a man from even talking to his wile, the networks in eflcel are forcing a critic to give his undivided attention to the programs...
...and abc's superdocumen-tary, Africa, lasted four hours...
...1 fall asleep a lot...
...How then is it possible lor a critic to judge the overall impact ot a program without seeing the most creative aspect of the medium...
...All of these shows...
...Most otten Uic tew seconds sandwiched between the hours of viewing—the commercials—reflect a truer unaerstanuing ot the medium, ' Marshall McLuhan wrote of the importance of commercials...
...Then Stuart Whitman, playing Marshal Jim Crown, began speaking Spanish...
...custer died for your sins...
...the rilm, however, went back on immediately, in tour days ot screenings l didn I yet ,i bile Id cut...
...But I soon had another reason to be disappointed...
...361 people were killed right before mv eves...
...It was very interesting seeing the new programs this way, but it seemed to bear little relevance to what my readers would be seeing at home...
...This is why critics hate television so much, although I don't mean to deprecate other causes such as inept acting, poor direction and incredibly bad writing...
...10 half-breeds, 12 Mexicans...
...Four white women were killed, and 1 1 cowboys were wrapped in white linen...
...128 assorted bushwackers...
...The critic from the Baptist Messenger and the New York Times democratically are shown the new programs in the same luxurious screening rooms usually reserved for executives, producers and sponsors...
...And I don't see any ghosts on your screen...
...I asked my wife if she understood what was being said...
...I had come to see tv shows, but curiously there wasn't even a tv set in the room...
...1 come back and see the programs again...
...I don't want to influence your opinions," he said, "but I read your reviews last season and I just thought you might want to try something a little different this time by actually watching some of the shows...
...My old professor at City College, Bernard Rosenberg, said it even better in : "1 don t mind the commercials...
...First, I wasn't a vice-president, producer or sponsor...
...That actor wasn't speaking pure Shakespeare...
...These included 67 Apaches.'43 Siou...
...and a western based on the life of General George Armstrong Custer (abc's Caster), which finally explains what the Association on American Indian Affairs means by its bumper-sticker...
...The U.S...
...As for the season itself, 1 will be writing about the programs at greater length in the coming months...
...it's the stutt in between that twiners me...
...The only thing marring my mood of contentment was the fact that the networks hadn't sent a limousine to the suburbs to pick me up...
...Well...
...During the first pause for a brief message from the sponsor—"insert commercial here" flashed on the big screen—I started to walk out of the room to get something to eat...
...The official invited me to come into his network's New York skyscraper for a private screening...
...The producers spend a lot of extra money on the first show, which is often the pilot aimed at a very small audience consisting of two people: the network vice-president in charge of programming and the sponsor...
...1 was keeping myself occupied like that because of something veteran critic Joan Walker of Cue magazine said to me outside the nbc screening room the first morning...
...At the cbs Building, for example, a critic can sit in a well-padded swivel chair near the marble coffee table up front, or recline on a divan By Marvin Kitman Counting the Dead Bodies at the rear of the executive screening room...
...I found myself scheduled to see the first episodes of 26 new series in the next four days, a lot of television for anybody over 10-years-old...
Vol. 50 • September 1967 • No. 19
