The Sitting Dead

...Having thus diagnosed the p o p u l a r i t y of Peyton Place, I would like to advance another, g l a r i n g l y c o n t r a d i c t o r y explanation for its d r a w i n g power, as well as for the d r a w i n g power of at least half of t h e shows o n television...

...T h u s a n a u d i e n c e which i n theory is a m o n g t h e f r e e s t of a u d i e n c e s— free from b o x office d e m a n d s , free t o heed or ignore, free to hurl e p i t h e t s or b e e r c a n s , free even to w r i t e to a s p o n s o r — i n s t e a d does n o t h i n g , mindlessly digesting whatever it's given, in this case t he most h a c k n e y e d , witless, oppressively b o r i n g " e n t e r t a i n m e n t " since well, since last season...

...W h a t W i l l i am B u c k l e y did, with a m u c h smaller a u d i e n c e in m u c h less t i m e , was to p e r s u a d e 3 3 9 , 0 0 0 N e w Y o r k e r s to v o t e for h i m as chief m a g i s t r a t e of t h e i r c i t y .) C o n s i d e r all t h i s , if y o u will, and t h e n r e c a l l t h a t Peyton Place (ABC) o c c u p i e s not one, but three of t h e s e hallowed half hours every w e e k , 52 weeks a year...

...T h e p r o g r a m ' s essential appeal p r o b a b l y lies somewhere between t h e lines...

...Breezy, cheerful, p r o v o c a t i v e talk: S T E L L A : Death is a very final thing...

...What t he t e l e v i s i o n i n d u s t r y is left with is t h e u l t i m a t e c a p t i v e a u d i e n c e : willing captives, t h e s i t t i n g d e a d . T h at it seems delighted with this situation is a n o t h e r subject to which I h o p e t o r e t u r n...

...S t e l l a : The Harringtons are the pillars of the community...

...I n fact, t h e m i r a c l e cont r i v e d by t h e c r e a t o r s of Peyton Place is t h a t n o t h i n g ever happens o n t h e s c r e e n . N o t h i n g . I n p a r t , t he t e d i um is c a m o u f l a g e d b y t h e t e m p o of activity off screen, which is s o m e t h i n g terrific...

...E m e r g i n g i s t h e p r o f i l e of a view-e r who d e m a n d s only that he be visually occupied t h r o u g h o u t each evening...

...the c o m b i n e d audience for just two of these installments s u b s t a n t i a l l y tops t h e a u d i e n c e for t h e t o p - r a t e d show on television, Bonanza...

...Lightly s p o k e n lines are light-years apart o n Peyton Place...

...T o d o so, w e m u s t l o o k t o t h e m u c h - m a l i g n e d but tolerably accurate Nielsen ratings...

...Peyton Place puts it b a c k on, l e a v i n g us t o our e x t r a v a g a n t fantasies as in days of yore...

...While the h u m an d e b r i s a c c u m u l a t e s out of sight, all t h a t is left t o t h e viewer are long faces a n d a t i d a l wave of speeches d e t a i l i n g t h e d a i l y c a t a s t r o p h e s. L i g h t s , c a m e r a , talk...

...The collective libido being what it is, p r e s u m a b l y some characters will be m a r r i e d in some far-off e p i s o d e . But m e a n w h i l e , almost n o one is married...

...Ambitious m e n in s t a t e l y g a r r e t s on M a d i s on A v e n u e even n o w are r i s k i n g a l l— lives, f o r t u n e s , sacred a c c o u n t s— t o a c q u i r e one such piece of the a c t i o n . Its power to enlighten, to e n r i c h , t o e d u c a t e , to e n r i c h , t o enter t a i n , to enrich, is b e y o n d meas-u r e . (Well, not completely beyond t h e r e are, after all, the daily q u o t a t i o n s of the n e t w o r k s ' shares o n the N e w Y o r k S t o c k E x c h a n g e .) I f y o u are a m a n of ideas and i d e a l s ; if you h a v e an a p p e t i t e for p o w e r ; if, like W i l l i am F . Buckley, y o u h a v e a v i s i o n of an old order — c o n s i d e r w h a t y o u might do with a n a u d i e n c e m e a s u r e d i n t h e t e n s of m i l l i o n s , a t t e n d i n g y o u for one half h o u r , once a week...

...Chara c t e r s have been m a r r i e d , but the r a t e of spouse attrition through d i v o r c e , a b a n d o n m e n t , annulment a n d u n n a t u r a l d e a t h has been furious...

...It is as if, after years of c l a m o r i n g , " Take it off," we find ourselves rather b o r e d now t h a t it is off...

...N o r could Peyton Place be viewed as an idyllic r e p r e s e n t a t i on of A m e r i c a n d o m e s t i c life...

...The l a n g u a g e h as b e e n anesthetized, all c a r n a l acts a r e c o n s u m m a t e d off screen, and sin is p a i d for o n t h e installment p l a n . Nonetheless, the spirit of G r a c e M e t a l i o u s hangs lewdly over t h e p r o c e e d i n g s . If sex is n e v e r displayed and r a r e l y discussed, it is still o m n i p r e s e n t . The c o r n e r s t one of almost every i n t e r r e l a t i o n s h i p is, as one c h a r a c t e r solemnly defined it, " t h e o l d e s t prize in t h e world.' U l t i m a t e l y , the d r a m a t i c tensions a r e all s e x u a l. Why this thrice-weekly euphemism should titillate so m a n y of us is u n c l e a r . Could it b e t h a t Hugh Hefner has g o n e t o o far...

...L a w r e n c e Welk would b e out of place...

...T h e c r e a t o r s of such a c o m m e r c i a l gold mine are t o o wily t o risk over-peep...

...T h e p o i n t is t h at he will always settle for something, n o m a t t e r h o w flimsy a n e x c u s e f or e n t e r t a i n m e n t it m a y b e . T h e i d ea of getting u p a n d t u r n i n g off t h e t e l e v i s i o n set as a n a l t e r n a t i v e to w a t c h i n g t h a t s o m e t h i n g apparently does not strike a multitude of A m e r i c a n s as being a very good one...

...It is not w a t c h e d b e c a u s e it is a m u s i n g (except perhaps in a twisted pop s e n s e ) , or even b e c a u s e it strives t o be amusing, i n the l u n g i n g m a n n e r of Gomer Pyle or Lucy...

...The show through which t h e y strut deserves our a t t e n t i o n if o n l y for the fact that it is a tale t h r i c e told each week, which is t r i p l e the telling r e q u i r e d by such fables as Camp Runamuck, O.K...

...I t is t h e t a l k t h a t helps to d r aw viewers t o Peyton Place each week...

...A t once hopeful and fearful, the m a s s i v e , b r o o d i n g audience waits for Allison Mackenzie, t h e eternal virgin of Peyton Place, t o get h e r s . She p r o b a b l y n e v e r will, however...

...M i n i s t e r : I wouldn't count too much on justice...

...If a p r o g r a m opposite Peyton Place is m o r e t o t h e viewer ' s t a s t e (as is t h e c a s e with t he 6 5 t h - r a t e d Peyton Place III), he feels free to i g n o r e t h e t r i b u l a t i ons of t h e H a r r i n g t o n s a n d t h e M a c k e n - zies...

...It's not much consolation for the dead...

...M i n i s t e r : It must be very lonely without something to believe in...

...the Chernaks are only the rotten foundations...

...H o w does Peyton Place rate 90 m i n u t e s a week on n e t w o r k television ? Primarily, of course, bec a u s e p e o p l e w a t c h it, s p o n s o r s are a v a i l a b l e for a n y t h i n g p e o p l e watch, a n d n e t w o r k s air a n y t h i n g s p o n s o rs will s p o n s o r . W i t h r a r e e x c e p t i o n s, t h i s f o r m u l a is t h e d r i v i n g f o r c e behind the existence of any p r o g r am p r e s e n t e d during prime evening t i m e . B u t why is it w a t c h e d ? This is a troublesome question...

...Crackerby, Flipper and The Munsters...

...R a t h e r , one senses t h a t t h e y watch ( o r do not w a t c h ) r a n d o m segments b e c a u s e t h e r e is n o t h i n g better ( o r b e c a u s e t h e r e is s o m e thing b e t t e r ) to w a t c h o n a n o t h e r channel...

...But if t h e r e is n o t h i n g more a t t r a c t i v e on a n o t h e r channel, he will settle for Peyton Place (witness t h e c o m p a r a t i v e l y high rating of Peyton Place II...

...On television By Calvin Fentress The Sitting Dead Any way y o u look at it—except possibly as an unsuspecting viewer—30 minutes of p r i m e time on one of the three m a j o r television networks is a p r e c i o u s commodity...

...T h e disparity between Nielsen's t h r e e Peyton Place ratings indicates t h e existence of t h r e e distinct sets of Peyton Place viewers: t h o s e w h o w a t c h only t h e s e c o n d weekly segment, a somewhat smaller group who w a t c h t h e first a n d s e c o n d segments , and a m i n o r i t y who watch all t h r e e . Now, if m i l l i o n s of viewers c a n t a k e or leave any given c h a p t e r i n " t h e c o n t i n u i n g d r a m a of Peyton Place," it follows that they d o not w a t c h it b e c a u s e they a re c a u g h t u p i n the u n f o l d i n g story, or even because they particularly enjoy it for any r e a s o n at all...

...I n a recent ins t a l l m e n t , o n e c h a r a c t e r was a w a i t i n g t r i a l for m u r d e r , one w a s felled b y a h i t - a n d - r u n driver, a n d a whole p l a t o o n was b e n t on revenge for p a s t injustices...

...F o r Peyton Place is, a s its e x e c u t i v e p r o d u c e r once candidly n o t e d , a p e e p show...

...Such a p r i z e , the m e r e p r o s p e c t of which w o u l d have a N o r m a n M a i l e r or a N o r m a n V i n c e n t Peale d a n c i n g on t h e ceiling, b e l o n g s i n s t e a d to N o r m a n H a r r i n g t o n. W h o ? N o r m a n Harrington...

...Life is a grim b u s i n e s s indeed in the turbulent little burg...

...T h e awesome, awful t r u t h of the m a t t e r is t h a t this c o v e r s only about half of t h e major c h a r a c t e r s found a m o n g t h e i m p r u d e n t , impassioned, i m p r e g n a t e d , i m p r i s o n e d and imp r o b a b l e population of Peyton Place...

...M i n i s t e r : Since when...

...A n d certainly Peyton Place is n o Man From UNCLE, hurtling t h r o u g h its 30 m i n u t e s in a frenzy of action...

...Rodney H a r r i n g t o n is n o t D i c k V a n Dyke, a n d Elliot Carson and Constance M a c k e n z i e are hardly Ozzie and H a r r i e t . M a r r i a g e is at best a frail i n s t i t u t i o n in P e y t o n Place...

...F o r this season's first set of n a t i o n a l Nielsen reports —a document g u a r a n t e e d t o bring c o m f o r t to J a m e s Aubrey, to any c h i l d u n d e r seven y e a r s of age, and t o o u r e n e m i e s — r e v e a l s facts about t e l e v i s i o n ' s audience i n g e n e r a l , and a b o u t the Peyton Place audience in p a r t i c u l a r. As of l a s t m o n t h , t h e first weekly i n s t a l l m e n t of Peyton Place was l i s t ed as the 3 5 t h most popular s h o w in t h e Nielsen poll, Peyton Place II was l i s t ed 21st, a n d Peyton Place III was 6 5 t h . (These figures may a p p e a r u n i m p r e s s i v e , b u t d o n 't be misled...

...Norman H a r r i n g t o n is the younger b r o t her of R o d n e y H a r r i n g t o n , who stands a c c u s e d of k i l l i n g J o e C h e r n a k , who was the b r o t h e r of Stella C h e r n a k, w h o works for M i c h a e l Rossi, who was romantically t r a n s p o r t e d by C o n s t a n c e Mackenzie, who is p l a y e d by D o r o t h y M a l o n e , who is a friend of F r a n k S i n a t r a ' s , who went sailing last summer with Mia F a r r o w , w h o plays A l l i s o n Mackenzie, w h o is t h e i l l e g i t i m a t e daughter of C o n s t a n c e M a c k e n z i e and Elliot C a r s o n , w h o has j u s t c o m p l e t e d an 1 8 - y e a r s t r e t c h in t h e p e n for murdering his spouse, w h o actually was k i l l e d by the late C a t h e r i n e Harrington , who was the wife of Leslie H a r r i n g t o n , who is the father of N o r m a n H a r r i n g t o n. T h a t ' s who...

...Stella: / do believe in something— its called justice...

...G r a n t e d , o ne must peep long and h a r d ; o n t he surface, a single girdle advertisement in t h e N e w Y o r k Times Magazine is m o r e sensual t h a n a m o n th of Peyton Place...