New Faces of 1964
KITMAN, MARVIN
A MACHINE-MADE VIEW OF GOP PROSPECTS New Faces of 1964 By Marvin Kitman Like many registered Republicans, I spent the evening of November 6 switching the TV from channel to channel hoping...
...my wife wanted to know after I shut off the set and went upstairs...
...But he's soft on Communism is all, Ed," said US-1864...
...Right," 1040 said...
...No, Ed," said 1040...
...I've got a question for you this morning," the interviewer said...
...Did Wilkes-Barre win...
...Why...
...Why are you going to bed so early...
...That's why I sincerely believe that what is good for Wall Street is good for the country...
...But who will back Ike...
...Who...
...I'm known as the US1864...
...I'm glad to see there is still room in the Republican party for new faces...
...What if the machines made a mistake and there were no new faces for 1964...
...That our Grand Old Party would be having not only one but many new faces became obvious early in the evening...
...We'd get rusty if we only worked on elections...
...Now, tonight, we meet at a time of bewilderment, we don't like this term, or the using of that term, that we are living always in a crisis...
...I can't get excited about elections like the other machines...
...When I get too old to work, I hope they junk me...
...He kept showing up at all those 'I Miss Ike' rallies before the election, didn't he...
...We worked that out hours ago, during the commercials...
...I'm sorry...
...1040 elected to speak for the majority: "It is indeed, difficult, and I want to say this quite frankly, in the circumstances in which I find myself," he explained, "to discover words that seem applicable to this situation...
...Something nobody asked any of you earlier in the evening...
...So a lot of the predictions I make are off the top of my head...
...Ike could win on a bike," GL70 said...
...Glad you were able to stop by, Ed," a number of mechanical voices said in perfect harmony...
...Don't you think you ought to introduce us then...
...Don't you ever quarrel among yourselves...
...Sometimes you can't tell me from a Democratic machine, Ed, but I'm just trying to keep up with the Times...
...That's because you reporters never make out a payroll, Ed...
...What's his name...
...We're trying to examine this question in depth," the interviewer interrupted, "so can you give us the short form reply first, 1040...
...Who is that fifth computer lurking in the shadows...
...My official name is IL-28...
...Now let's get back to the big question: Who will be the Republican Presidential nominee in 1964...
...A lot of the basic research that went into me was started in the 1930s at City College and Columbia...
...I'm not like those other machines, Ed: I'm unbossed...
...That's not a good idea...
...If you ask me, Ed," US-1864 said, "He'd rather be President than right...
...No, Ed," a machine said...
...I'm one of the first computers ever made and proud of my 19th century origins...
...I'd even be willing to bet on him in a race around the golf course with Adenauer and de Gaulle...
...Before my dinner had properly settled, computers had similarly certified the elections of Nelson Rockefeller in New York, James Rhodes in Ohio and George Romney in Michigan...
...a third machine asked...
...I do a lot of work for the Government, whichever party is in power...
...He'll make us feel really clean through and through, for the first time in our lives," GL-70 added...
...I'm a specialist in the Constitution...
...the interviewer asked...
...To clean up the mess left over from his last Administration,' US1864 said...
...He wanted to save it for his own campaign," said US-1864...
...Well, thank you, fellows," the interviewer said...
...Why is that...
...For example, I don't doubt the patriotism of IL-28, but...
...I think he's getting sick and tired of being stabbed in the back through Humphrey," IL-28 said...
...All right, then, who would like to project his personality profile first...
...I believe it's what up front that counts...
...Besides Ike is good for people who are past 45," GL-70 added...
...Dwight David Eisenhower," the machines said unanimously...
...As you know the left wing of the party is in the ascendency, and speaks with the strongest voice...
...Ed...
...In fact, you might call it, as he may or may not have in other walks of action, I think the most accurate term for this view is, check me if I'm wrong IL-28 and GL-70, bipartisan...
...The brilliant IBM 1410 computer, using a technique called "Precinct Profile Analysis," was able to declare William Scranton winner in the Pennsylvania gubernatorial race with only 11,000 of the State's three million votes counted...
...It raises an interesting question: Who solves all those difficult problems they throw at us anyway...
...a machine called out...
...Marvin Kitman has written for Harper's, Monocle and Show magazine...
...The program went off the air, fading back into the test pattern...
...You're right, Ed," said one of the machines...
...The country is ripe for an older President...
...He was sitting in a swivel chair, smoking a cigarette...
...the interviewer asked...
...It hummed gently for awhile, and then dissolved into a room filled with more computers than all the other networks combined had utilized earlier in the evening...
...It isn't against the Constitution, Ed...
...But we wonder what is the outcome of every decent, proper gesture we make to those that live in the other camp...
...Even before the Cuban crisis was solved," 1040 said, "Ike waged total peace by insisting that Cuba should not become an issue of partisan debate...
...The polls only closed 15 minutes ago in California...
...That took courage," US-1864 said...
...I'm the Alexander-Hamiltonvac, Ed," the fifth machine said...
...But what, US-1864...
...she asked...
...All right, fellows," the interviewer said tenderly, realizing he had opened an old wound...
...The big problem is getting this country moving again, now that the younger folks haven't succeeded...
...In the latter case, I'm called the 1040-A, Ed...
...Are we on the air...
...I get a good deal of my power from college kids today...
...Campaigning," said US-1864...
...But computers are always Republicans...
...So are GL-70 and 1040...
...the interviewer asked...
...What do the technicians know, Ed...
...Voting by the masses is a waste of time, energy and the Gross National Product...
...You get a lot to like in Ike," GL-70 added, "And he can unite the party...
...And I went back to bed convinced that Kennedy's days in the White House are numbered...
...and then, we must make certain that all of those people who live with us, in the hope that those concepts of human dignity and liberty are going to prevail in the world, will stand always by our side in the determination that freedom and liberty will eventually triumph over tyranny...
...They live in a closed society, society of intent-which we try to penetrate, and in my opinion properly, but we are certain of this: Our problem is not only keeping ourselves strong, and by strong I don't mean merely militarily, I mean spiritually, intellectually, scientifically, economically and militarily...
...I base my decisions on old-fashioned principles, the conservative ones that made America great...
...All the people who liked Ike in the past...
...What's your considered opinion...
...Older folks know their way around the frontier better, because they've been around longer...
...Why do you machines like Ike in 1964...
...Switching the selector dial, I grew fascinated with the test pattern on one of the local channels...
...Give me a handful of smart, aristocratic people-you know, Ed, the people who really count-and I'll tell you what's genuinely good for the country...
...all five computers said in perfect synchronism...
...The Minneapolis-Honeywell 400 Electronic Data Processing System knows a loser when it sees one,' I said...
...Those computers are getting so human, I thought, wouldn't it be only human to err...
...I think you ought to start," a machine said, "by explaining that we're different from people like Chet, David, Walter and Ron...
...But does Ike want to be President...
...Why don't we go from right to left...
...I'm a product of the Ivy League colleges, Ed...
...Yes," the interviewer said...
...I'm one of those big-city machines, Ed, born and bred in New York...
...Romney, Rhodes, Rockefeller, Scranton, Hatfield, Goldwater or a dark horse...
...I don't take aid from anyone, Ed, I work alone...
...I'm the 1040, Ed," a third machine said...
...I wouldn't touch them with a 10-foot-poll...
...Good idea, Ed," the fourth machine said...
...Right," said 1040, switching to his shorter form...
...But isn't he too old to run...
...How do you know...
...We not only have all the facts at our finger tips, but we digest them and analyze them-something human beings don't have time for these days...
...A MACHINE-MADE VIEW OF GOP PROSPECTS New Faces of 1964 By Marvin Kitman Like many registered Republicans, I spent the evening of November 6 switching the TV from channel to channel hoping to find a new face who could get this country moving again in 1964...
...I usually speak for the Madison Avenue wing of the party...
...I can answer that, Ed," Alexander-Hamiltonvac said...
...We may think alike, given the same facts, but each of us has a different personality profile...
...It's just like we were saying, Ed," another said...
...asked one of the machines...
...the interviewer asked...
...Certainly not, Ed," US-1864 said...
...I thought you'd appreciate a chance to speak for yourselves after such a busy night," the interviewer said...
...Do you want to recheck your figures-anyone...
...You may remember that I coined the theory, 'As Maine goes, so goes Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Iowa, Kansas.'" "I think we'd better avoid theorizing and stick to personalities,' the interviewer said...
...I'm known as the GL-70, Ed," the second machine said...
...That is the way we see it, our impression of the, of this matter we are discussing, and I want to say quite frankly, that this is not in any way, shape or matter, a partisan view of this matter...
...That would explain why he didn't say anything for the first two years," IL-28 said...
...I couldn't sleep any more, so I put on my bathrobe and went downstairs to the TV room to see if the downstate votes-which always determined elections when I was younger-were verifying the computers' first projections...
...You call that a question, Ed...
...That's right, Ed,' another machine said...
...But I'm an American first, Ed...
...Some day we'll go fishing on election day, Ed," a fourth machine said...
...Maybe Romney will give him a Rambler agency in California...
...Then he denied there is a space gap," 1040 said...
...What's Ike been doing since 1960...
...Chet, David, Walter, Ron-they always talk to the technicians who stand in front of us, instead of behind us where they belong...
...The machines whirred gently, then spoke in unison: "A dark horse...
...The seed of doubt my wife had planted finally woke me up at 4:30 a.m...
...You television reporters, for instance, are all Democrats...
...Only Nixon...
...I come in two versions: the long form and the short form...
...the interviewer asked...
...We like Ike," the machines repeated in perfect harmony...
...They have a lot of faith in me, Ed...
...But I must have looked a little disturbed by her question...
...the interviewer asked...
...He's a proven winner...
...If you ask me, it's all a big numbers racket...
...Well, now, I'm glad you asked me that," said 1040, "and I can ask you this: All the people that they represent what you understand to be firm, sound, middle-of-theroad government that refuses to make government a centralized government capable of governing your lives in every single item, refuses to accede to the doctrine of collectivity or centralization, or is it the kind of philosophy that says, 'We want to live in liberty, in freedom...
...Does Ike have a platform for 1964...
...the interviewer asked...
...The technicians aren't as smart as their public image...
...The country needs Ike...
...You mean " the interviewer said...
...One man was on camera...
...They never cued Chet, David or anybody to ask us that question...
...Right, Ed...
...All they know is how to feed us...
...asked the interviewer...
...Stop worrying about what will become of poor Nixon," she said...
...So I think I'd better go first...
...We do it every week...
...Scranton won," I assured her, "but Nixon lost...
...Well, you machines certainly represent the diversity of opinion in the Republican party...
...Where should I begin...
...With all the new faces the Republican party has discovered-Romney, Rhodes, Scranton, not to mention Rockefeller, Mark Hatfield in Oregon and Barry Goldwater in Arizona -my question is: Which new face will head the party's ticket in 1964...
...But do you really think Ike will accept the nomination...
...You mean " the interviewer said...
...I represent the big money interests in the party...
Vol. 45 • November 1962 • No. 24
