Guest Column

ARGUS, M. K.

GUEST COLUMN By M. K. Argus A Parliamentary Report from Moscow ARGUS The British Parliament has accepted an invitation from the Supreme Soviet of the USSR to visit Moscow this fall. The...

...We were treated to a most excellent and bountiful dinner...
...We were naturally anxious to speak to a Russian common man in the street, so our guide obligingly stopped one for us...
...We in the Soviet Union,' the farmers said, "use atomic energy exclusively for peaceful purposes.' They showed us the building where atomic energy for chicken coops was being produced, but they would not let us inside...
...Needless to say, we also went to see the ballet at the famous Bolshoi Theater...
...Quite a few of the British lawmakers are just raring to go to Moscow, and I am afraid some of their reports from the land of the Soviets will run as follows: "Moscow is quite an impressive city...
...When one of us passed out after the 29th toast (it was, if memory serves me right, in honor of the Soviet armed forces, which guard their beloved country against capitalist encirclement), Mr...
...Throughout our stay in Moscow, we have not seen or met a single member of the secret police...
...That, it was explained, is because of the Russians' inherent distrust of foreigners...
...It seems to us that the talk about them is highly exaggerated...
...The streets are full of citizens going about their own business...
...If there are any Russians who, as some people claim, go about other Russians' business, we haven't noticed them...
...One must give credit where credit is due...
...His next question was: 'Is it true that England has become an American colony?' We made an effort to deny it...
...In spite of this, however, we have had a wonderful time in Moscow...
...Some Muscovites travel in autos, others in trams, quite a few in the underground...
...We asked the guides and interpreters assigned to us point-blank whether they were members of the secret police...
...After the performance, we were invited backstage...
...The invitation was sent to Lord Simonds, Speaker of the House of Lords, and W. S. Morrison, Speaker of the House of Commons, by that distinguished parliamentarian, Marshal Klimenti Voroshilov...
...The Russians have actually spread out the red carpet before us...
...As soon as the introductions were over, one of the ballerinas said to us: 'Won't you, please, try to persuade your own government as well as your American friends to stop their war preparations against us!' Peace, it appears, is uppermost in every Russian's mind...
...Most interesting and enlightening was our trip to a collective farm about fifty miles from Moscow...
...The most memorable of all, of course, was the banquet in the Kremlin...
...The man spoke to us in English...
...The first thing the man in the street asked us was: 'Why are you so intent upon waging war against all the peaceful democratic nations of the world?' Then, without waiting for an answer, he added: 'What has our beloved government done to you that you always slander and malign it?' We were put to shame by that question and told the good man that we also wanted to live peacefully with other nations...
...No pun intended...
...The Russians love their government, and they hate war...
...For some reason, the Russians don't like the name "underground' and call it the Metropolitan...
...The roast chickens were especially delectable, and we asked the collective farmers about them...
...We've rarely seen a happier breed of men and women...
...It was not a model farm, just an ordinary run-of-the-mill one...
...We left the theater profoundly shaken...
...Malenkov a very affable and courteous man...
...We were shown plans that would make Moscow the most beautiful city in the world by 1984...
...They told us that the birds were treated according to a new method, with atomic energy...
...They were so offended that we had to apologize...
...The method was a state secret, and the Russians, you see, are still suspicious of us...
...It has a number of beautiful boulevards and streets, and improvements are constantly being made throughout the capital...
...Every night, there was a banquet in our honor, each time in a different place...
...We have never met such peace-loving people...
...We found Mr...
...All Soviet citizens,' he replied, 'study English so that we can read William Shakespeare and Hewlett Johnson in the original.' Quite a people, these Russians, eh what...
...We've had a few misunderstandings on account of that...
...We have found the Russians to be exceedingly hospitable and friendly, although on the unofficial level they still seem to shun foreigners...
...Only by a steady interchange of persons and information will we be able to dispel this suspicion...
...Malenkov had two Deputy Foreign Ministers take him to his hotel...
...The Russian people have a long memory and still remember our invasion of the Crimea in 1854, which they consider an inexcusable attempt on our part to set up imperialist rule over the Soviet Union...
...We were not a little surprised and asked him where he had learned it...
...nothing of this sort had ever been planned before the October Revolution...

Vol. 37 • August 1954 • No. 35


 
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