A PAGE OF EXCLUSIVE FEATURES
A PAGE OF EXCLUSIVE FEATURES Confession of a Money-God 1 amth* perfect gentleman who give* hit gold for God My money flow* into my pocket* filtered frota the IttMl 'v Of children Ailing every...
...A special effort is made to obtain as teachers the very best available material in the community...
...Those pictures, slogans, and, the bunting he wove ail through and around them made his show windows look like an old-fashioned Fourth of July celebration, and folks came for miles and straw hats went like hot dogs...
...All of this is hokum, of course...
...For instance, there is a gent's furnishing dealer across the street from me who was a wild and enthusiastic Coolidge man last fall, and in spite of the fact that I fed him all winter with clippings from your speeches he boosted you for a third term...
...I'll tell you how it it: You tee, 1 got a piece of ground, And on that ground, I built a factory of iron and tt*el...
...I'm a patriot...
...and wasn't she dead from lack of sleep...
...Williams let us In on that secret, It was sll we could do to refrsin from shouting, "Goody, goody...
...But if you could give an appointment to my wife's brother, I surely would appreciate it...
...Th* Pope himself Interceded for him with the King of Spain...
...With them all the rich and poor together make up the community...
...Well, that Greek has been doing a land office business ever since, and this has so curdled the milk of human kindness in the bosom of the gent's furnishing man across the street that he told me only this morning that before he would vote for you again, he'd see you in the plate where even you eouldn't keep cool...
...So desiroua are the people to peaaetnate only the en-genically fit members of the race, that they give almost unbelievable powers of regulation of the race to their magistrates...
...and our new sunburn smarts a bit, and our right arm is stiff from putting over those sizzling serves which it is lucky Bill Tilden didn't see, he being likely to quit tennis altogether if he knew how our game was going...
...Whan there ain't any work, there ain't any, that's all there is to it and not even master minds like yours and mine can*bring about good times when the country ia suffering from over-production...
...Besides, he is a good Republican...
...Here they are: "Save that you may tpend...
...Like all politically minded folks, he forgot the cold wave and blamed the whole calamity on your remarks concerning the virtue of renovated straw hats, and the next thing he threw your pictures in an ash barrel as a token that he was off you for good...
...What I want to tell you ii that I saw you and th* missus in the movie the other night and that reminded me that the prosperity you promised before the election hasn't showed up yet...
...The world ie therefore happy, and I do not give a damn, For think of what I've done for knowledgtl HENRY HARRISON...
...And speaking of Tamiment, as we were some time back, we are here to say thst some of the happiest hours of our li'c hsve been spent by the lovely little Iske there...
...Ever your friend and admirer, Adam Coaldlgger...
...The bankers are still with y*1 b*c,u,e th«y J°an the savings of depositors, Sud the more some people save the more others Bi'ist borrow, so those saving sermons of yours are "Ifht in their line...
...i I pay them wage* that are good: Two dime* or let* an hour, For if I give them TOO much, they might ipend it rather quickly...
...Aristocracy of Learningi The Government in Campanella's eity is in the hands of an aristocracy of learning, elected by the people, and the chief of the temporal and spiritual affairs of the State must be informed concerning practically every branch of knowledge known to that day...
...So it happened that the Greek who runs the shoe-shining, clothes-pressing, and hat-cleaning parlor below me fished those pictures out of the ash barrel and placed them in hia window...
...Wtll, God mutt think I'm quitt a man...
...In fact, it make* the children lickly...
...That might be a good thing at that...
...No glebes or Poverty i They suffer neither poverty nor riches to exist, holding as < they do that "grinding poverty renders men worthless, cunning, sulky, thievish, insidioui, vsgabonda, liars, false wltnessea, etc., and wealth makes them Insolent, proud, traitors, as-aumers of what they are not, deceivers, boosters, wanting In affection, slanderers, etc...
...If the supply of material in the work booth is sufficient, the workmen are permitted to indulge and give free play to their creative genius...
...Adam Coaidigger German and Italian Utopias THE HISTORY OF SOCIALIST THOUGHT By HARRY W. LAIDLER, Ph.D...
...And so in the City of the Sun he had history, geography, mathematics and botany pre...
...He might have gotten over the cold wave, but a few days later the newspapers came out with the story of how you had your old straw hat cleaned to make it do for another season, which was the straw that broke the camel's back...
...For when we raise a son to riches snd dignities, we become either ready to grasp at the property of the State, if In any case fear should be removed from the power which belong to riches and rank, or avaricious, crafty and hypocritical, if any one is of alender purse, little strength end mean anceatry...
...Then after awhile, when times are better again, you drop another letter saying in a kind of easy, off-hand way that you are sorry you couldn't send the prosperity any sooner, but better late than never, and that you hope they will enjoy it in spite of the delay, end so on...
...Save the little violett, To tay it in bouquet* of rose...
...Each time I happen to donate tome money, I rather feel it't owing to mt that tht publie know it...
...Piker* tpend cent by cent, It't tpendiny roll* that make the gent...
...The Government is in the hands of a Legislature, and an executive, the latter consisting of a Minister, Judge and Director of Learning...
...The communism in Campanella's ideal State is absolute—more absolute than any of his predecessors...
...Yet nothing necessary is denied to anyone...
...Whan but a: t>«v he entered the Dominican order...
...And then one of them said, "What number did you wantt" and hitched us up with a party named Sam, who at first we thought was Sam De Witt, one of our fellow-owners...
...So if I were you, I'd write a spread eagle letter telling them that on account of the Balkan situation and the embroglios in Chins and Morocco you have been ¦ unable to attend to prosperity and that as aoon as you can get down to it you'll send it to 'em by special delivery...
...There isn't a thing within the gift of this great nation I would ask for myself...
...But nWklt cornea to the petty bourgeoisie, as we scientist...
...But after a few days of Republican prosperity, a cold wave comes along and knocks the straw hat business into a cocked hat...
...Now I don't want you to think that it's me that's ielly-aching for that prosperity...
...But lots of other merchants *re getting down on you on account of the buyers' •trike they say you inaugurated with those frugality sermons of yours...
...We don't ask you to take this on feith...
...If this be advertising, make the most of It and drop sround snd see us some time at the Owners' Room of the New York Edison Company...
...Besides, letters like thst give the boys something to talk about, and so long as folks talk a-plenty they can't think, and that in itself is a blessing in times like these...
...No one has any money...
...and as sooa as we got back we decided to run and look over our property and see how our employes were doing...
...These are only a few samples I dashed off in a hurry...
...The men are not driven to a work with which they are unfamiliar, like pack animals to their task, but they have been trained before in an accurate knowledge of scientific matters...
...That ornlry skunk has been staying with us ever aince Christmas and hasn't paid a cent for board yet The last dollar he earned was when he voted for you...
...But for every banker who wants People to save, there are hundreds of merchants who want people to apend, and if it's the function Government to bring the greatest good to the rreateet number, then you surely have been get-tln« off the right track...
...No, as far aa the horny-handed sons of toil are eMgerned, you won't have to worry so long as you bjta°em jollied up in the way I told you...
...call the electric light town merchant princes, jsfVill have to be a heap more careful in your uttersnces than you have been of late or get jour-self in a peck of trouble...
...books he had not written, and of holding opinions he did not hold, was seven times put to the question, snd suffered imprisonment for twenty-seven years...
...He would have education presented to the growing youth by visual means...
...It turned out, however, that this Was none other | than Sam, Mollie's beau, who hsd just sneaked out from the office to And out how Mollie was making it...
...If that gent's furnishing store msn was the only merchant who lost faith in you, it wouldn't mattsr, although that Greek hasn't even got a vote to ex-Press his gratitude...
...Hs was also attacked by the Spanish Inquisition, was accused of writing...
...Save dime* to tpend dollar...
...For the ttnall turn of four bit* We make your hat like new...
...The Fassilyi Communism enters even into fsmily relations, as Is the case with the magistrates and soldiers In Plato's Republic...
...We jiggled our hook for awhile, and finally fount' that Caledonia 2240 had been busy all this time* and we hadn't heard a thing about It...
...For the people of this city believe that "only thoss persons are rich who have all of which they have real need, who admit nothing else merely because it is possible to have it in abundance...
...Nor does communism stifle their incentive to action, as "they burn with so great a love for their fatherland as I could scarcely have believed possible...
...Therefore they laugh at us in that we consider our workmen ignoble, and hold those to be noble who have mastered no pursuit, but live at ease and are so many alaves given over to their own pleasure...
...Their creditor it I, you know, hut I am rather kind, , I let them labor only twelve or fourteen hour* daily, For work it good for little toult...
...And to, you tee, in making folk* and ckurchet ralhtr tunny, I atk tht people that they nkow it...
...Nsxt to our perfect interpretation ef the part of Chief Justice Taft in the play by Clem Weed and Solon De Leon, the outstanding feature ef the Conference was undoubtedly the debate between Morris Hillquit and Arthur Williams on the aubjeet ef Public Ownershp...
...It ssems, according to Mr...
...Save and pay ca*h...
...For just now we took our telephone receiver and got our central on the wire and told our system to hitch us up with Caledonia 2240, and asked how all our girls were getting on, and said If they worked hard all day we would let them sea the soldiers parade on the Fourth of July or maybe take them to our savings bank and let them shake hands with our president And then ws waited...
...Campanella believed in new educational methods—methods centuries ahead of his time...
...The csmp is greatly improved this year, the water is just as good to boat on or swim in ss ever, the tennis-courts are In good shape, and the folks are as friendly as only those who think along the same lines ac you do can be...
...When Mr...
...I McAlkftaV Casliaaaaaafc^ .-^^Bf^^^^'TiS^TeaHn-asHHafl...
...sented pictorially on the seven great walls of the city, in euch a way that the children could be learned "without toil and as if for pleasure...
...Campanula's City ef the Sunt Of greater renown, though, perhaps, of lesa merit than Andreae's social projection, was Thomas Cam-pan el la's "City of the Sun...
...Honoring the Producer...
...We recently read that the Spanish ladies hsvs the finest and most beautiful knees in the world because they spend so much time on them in prsyer...
...At least that's the way the noise sounded in our ear...
...exerted a considerable influence' over the disturbed political conditions of the times...
...He didn't say how you went wje to the top of the Woolworth Tower, but, judging from our experience, he must have meant going up the stairs on one foot, blindfolded, or pushing up a peanut with your nose the way they settle election bets...
...Williams told us thst the telephone company had grown so smart that they could connect you np with a party in Chicago in the length of time that it would uke you to ge up to the top of the Woolworth Tower and back...
...The motto of this new Utopia may be summed up in one of Andreae's sayings, "To be wipe and to work are not incompatible, if there is moderation...
...Williams, thst we, the people own the saving banka, the insurance companies, the electric light companies and the Bell Telephone system on account of all the stock ws own in these beneficent institutions...
...I thank tht Lard he placed it in my fat and eager hand*, And that it why I let him have tome money fa* you tee...
...With this noble aim in view, I have doped out a few slogans which in my opinion will kill two birds with one stone...
...No doubt, the work they do it not within a lovely • bower...
...It't jutt like that...
...It ia a pleasure to report, fellow-stockholders, thst everything is going on all right with our properties...
...In fact, he was so enthusiastic about you SSd prosperity that he ordered a special big stock ef strsws hats for this spring...
...ANpRKAK'S Chrietianop-olis: About the same time as the "New AtlantiB" appeared two other Utopias, one written by a comparatively obscure German traveler and social reformer, Johann Valentin Andreae, and the other by an Italian monk, philosopher and teacher, Thomas Campanella...
...There are covered walks in the streets, five feet wide, supported by columns twelve feet high, to shelter the citizens from the rain—a foretaste of Bellamy's "Looking Backward...
...Visual Education...
...While e repetition In' many1 respects of other Utopias, as has been stated, the City of the Sun was, nevertheless, the most comprehensive scheme of social reform proposed in Italy since the days of Savonarola, a century before, and...
...It Is true that we had to jack up our president over at the Mutual Life for spending more than twenty minutes at his lunch and we spoke quite tartly to our paying teller at the savings bank for the careless manner in which he threw one of our thousand dollar bills around, but we figure that all the boys and girls know that under the Boss's gruff exterior beats a heart of gold...
...Bed Time Stories for the Bourgeoisie__ JUST back from Tamiment, boys and girls, and the Conference of the League for Industrial Democracy...
...What's good for the goose is bad for the gander in this case and unless you do something to harmonize these irreconcilable contradictions, your name is Dennis...
...Well, I guess thst's all for today, stay hello for me to the folks at the White House...
...ha, ain't that a hot one...
...i onc'bable contradictions, as Marx put it in m* plain blunt way of his: You can't afford to the whole mercantile world by preaching frugality and neither can a man in your position afford to offend the bankers by counseling liberal spending...
...uai: I hep* you will excuse me for sending this letter through the paper...
...No doubt, I really am, I earn my gold, and then btttow it on a church or college...
...All us "proletcul-turists," as Doe Horace Ksllen calls ui in his new book, have to be shown nowadays, and If you waat to find out you can join the Committee for the In-vesUgstion of the Knees of Spanish Ladles, with headquarters at 70 Fifth svenue...
...And no one can be superior to the other in the amount of riches owned, since the advantage is rather one of power and genius...
...But before the proletariat gets next to this, the stork will have delivered a new batch of little fish which will start biting about the time the last batch is losing its teeth...
...In Paris, Richelieu became his friend...
...Prosperity means nothing to me but work, and I'm constitutionally apposed to that...
...But to get back to our telephone...
...But when we have taken away self-love, there remains only love for the State...
...a e • By this time our statistician had figured out we could have gone up to the top of the Woolworth Tower on our kneea, the way the United States ' Ambsssador to Great Britain goes to Buckingham Palace, according to Mr...
...For that which other people think is a characteristic of a few . . . , the inhabitants argue, should be attained by all individuals...
...We didn't envy him his job when he tried to prove that there is no use getting het up about public ownership because, after all, the utilities' are really publicly owned, now that the workers are allowed to buy stock, and beaidea, the publicly* owned tramways of Glasgow are the cause of poverty and communism In that delightful Scotch burg and we are "a nation of capitalists," anyhow...
...He voted three times at the last election, and would have done better if ono of them La' Fol-lette Bolsheviks hadn't scared him: I can't recommend him too highly, and if you could make a berth for him in Washington or some other place besides here, I would be deeply grateful to you...
...Dooley...
...While there he emphsslied the need of studying Nature through her own works, not through books...
...Many a jitney ride, Buy* an auto for the bride...
...Besides, my handwriting ain't as mod as it might be and my buddy, who does the typewriting for me, has fallen off the water wagon again...
...The artisans sre most all educated men...
...On top of that he bid doped out a selling scheme that looked like it would be a sure inc...
...Spanish rule, Carapan-.¦li i, who wsi an Italian patriot, was arrestad and sent to nriion...
...Both these writers followed the communistic visions of Plato and More, rather than" the more individualistic teachings of Francis Bacon...
...P. S. It has been awfully hot hers of late, and I wish I was on the Mayflower right now to keep rool with Coolidge...
...I can write bright, snappy things like that by the mile, and if you say so, you can have them...
...A PAGE OF EXCLUSIVE FEATURES Confession of a Money-God 1 amth* perfect gentleman who give* hit gold for God My money flow* into my pocket* filtered frota the IttMl 'v Of children Ailing every day eft mine and nature't tod They tlave, of eouree, to pay a debt...
...Campanella, after watching the work of destruction wrought by the great families of Italy during hia lifetime, was convinced that the desire to increase the prestige of family and that of giving perfect devotion to the State wtre not compatible...
...During the Calsbrlan revolt again...
...They are rich because they want nothing, poor because they possess nothing...
...However, there it nothing to prevent a pack of band* From playing praitet all for me...
...They do it gaily...
...Among other things, Mr...
...Besides, I'm not one of those dumb-bells who imagines that prosperity csn be coaxed out of a ballot-box with a piece ef paper...
...Other insfltutiona: The houses are inhabited by single couples, rather than by patriarchal families, as in Utopia, and have a maximum of light and air...
...They honor only those who toil—there is no slave class—snd the occupations that require the most labor are regarded as most praiseworthy...
...a • » • • ^*v'ns* money and spending it at the same time tfc...
...Communism ef Christiaaopoliat All things produced are brought by the workera to a public booth, somewhat after the manner of Utopia, and every workman receives the things he needs for his work during the ensuing week...
...I wrote you some time ago about this little matter, but I 'fuess my letter got lost among other State papers 'because I haven't heard from you yet...
...Just to show how happy our system was that the Boss had got back from Tamiment all right, aome of our girls fired off a howitzer In the central office...
...They really do not mind The job at all...
...The vision of Campanella bears a distinct resemblance to those of Plato, More and Andreae, A eea captain of Genoa is compelled to go ashore on a far away island, and is led to "The City of the Sun," tvhich appears resplendent on a high hill overlooking an expansive plain...
...But the boys in the cosl camps are political minded, and when they vote for prosperity, they expect to see it come back in empties...
...An attempt is thus made to place the control of the city in the hands of religion, justice and learning...
...Sam was, and we were just going to learn the bright thing 8am had said to the fresn guy who had slapped him on his sunburn when our system turned us into a Bronx fish-market so that we could heve a little chat with the proprietor, he btjng lonely, poor devil, as Monday is a rotten day for Ash sales in the Bronx...
...If you want more of those catchy slogana of mine just holler, and if you can find a place for that brother-in-law wire me at my expense, «:id I will pay for the telegram...
...The workers consciously strive to apply science to production, thus introducing a sort of efficiency system...
...He had kept back quite a number of those life-site campaign posters of yours and when the strsw bat season opened he cut your picture out of them cards and played a straw hat on each of them with the inscription, "Keep Cool With Coolidge...
...So we said goodbye to all our -girls and went out to make the rounds of our life-insurence companies and savings banks...
...Four hours a day Is the normal work day, for all engage in useful labor and no one needs to support another...
...He's a steady, reliable man and not afraid of work, provided it don't Interfere with sleeping in the dsytime...
...The furniture in the homes is very simple, so that the household work, performed by husbands as well as wives, will not be arduous...
...An Open Letter to The President DEAR Sir and »ro...
...My genius belongs to my country...
...They won't cost you a cent...
...Following his imprisonment, he want to Home where ht was defended by Pone Urban VIII, hut was finally compelled to make his escape from that eity...
...Campsnella was lorn in Calabria In 1668, seven years after the birth of Bacon...
...i However, as the saying goes, it never rains but M pours...
...Andreae, who writes the more appealing Utopias of the two, finds himself wrecked upon the shore of an island, dominated by the City of Christianopolis, a clean, orderly city of 400 inhabitants, "a republic of workers, living in equality, desiring peace, and renouncing riches...
...Then on each of them he set a straw bat that was cleaned on the east half and left dirty on the west half to show the contrast and topped off the whole with « stream bearing this beautiful poem: "What'* good enough for Coolidge It good enough for you...
...Production is thoroughly organized and those in charge "know ahead of time what ia to be made, in What quantity, and of what form, and they inform the mechanics of these items...
...The city is divided into zones for light and heavy industry...
...Not a cent...
...Williams Is a nice, slightly befogged old gentleman who ballyhooa for the electrical trust...
...About all that the best Government on earth can do in an economic way is to distribute taxes so that those who pay them don't, while thoss who think that they don't do, and spend the net proceeds in wars for justice...
...He reeei»»d a pension of .1 0"0 livrae from the King of France, while the Soihonne vouched for his ortho-•loiv He died In Paris in t«*» In the Convent of the Dominicans at the age of Tt...
...Whatever the citizens "have, they receive from the community, and the magistrates take care that no one receives more than he deserves...
...Hoorsy for our side...
...Of count, tht land I own it really no one'*, but I found The tarth, and for that luck I kneel...
...But you aae I have to fill this column every week or lose my job, so I thought I might just as well kill two birds with one stone and do it this way...
...and consequently they are net elaves to elr-i eumstsnces, but circumstances serve them...
Vol. 2 • July 1925 • No. 27
