Travelling North: A Chronicle of an Undocumented Journey
Guillén, Ana
In April 1994 I came to the United States from El Salvador. I came with three other young women and "a "coyote"-a border-crossing guide for undocu- mented migrants. We made the trip from El...
...We went in pairs, a little spread apart...
...Again we were anxious, afraid that someone would see us from the train and report us to the police...
...We wanted to leave that afternoon by bus but we were afraid of being recognized by the migration authorities at the checkpoint where the coyote's niece had been arrested...
...After the questioning, they closed the doors and drove us away...
...I was going further than they were and it almost seemed ridiculous to tell them about it...
...By then we were all hungry, and ent to get us some tortillas, avocado, salt and was one of the most delicious meals I had depended on y believed we ans...
...We were all excited...
...we would embrace and her children would be calling me "Tia, Tia...
...She arranged for me to meet him and it turned out he was willing to take another trip...
...Finally we came to a church...
...At supper, the table was set for 12 people...
...There I met the coyote...
...We began the short journey once again...
...It's not your problem," I responded...
...On the road, whenever I felt afraid of what lay ahead, or when what lay ahead just seemed interminable, I looked at this picture of the two of us and thought of what our reunion would be like: It would be at the airport in New York...
...We drank some juice and we immediately left...
...We were even relieved when two policemen drove slowly by...
...He hit her and was a big womanizer and an irresponsible drunk...
...Don Pablo had put me up in a "popular" hotel in Villa Flores, Chiapas, but after an anxious two days of waiting-and praying in a local evangelical church whose members invited me to stay with them-the three of us were deported to El Salvador...
...The coyote decided that we would stay in the house of an old friend of his, Agustin...
...They told us not to sit together and they followed in their car...
...he night before we crossed into Mexico, Don Pablo told us that we would travel to the river on tricycles that were very common in the area...
...It was our second night with the family...
...we couldn't believe we were there--on the other side and a good distance from the border...
...We spent the night and planned to leave very early the following day, but the truck in which we were going to travel was filled with sugar cane and wouldn't be available for another two days...
...In Oaxaca, Don Pablo put us on a first-class bus all the way to Mexico City...
...This time we felt more relaxed...
...We were in the United States, far from the Border Patrol...
...We couldn't move at all...
...Betty's husband decided to pick her up personally, which made her quite happy after three years of separation...
...Perhaps my new clothes saved me...
...an hordpr Tere and I went ahead...
...that we were almost at the checkpoint...
...three months later she sent me $1,000 dollars for my trip...
...the bathroom and one of the Mexican boys treated me to a hamburger and a coke...
...One of the men got on the phone and got directions to the house 90 miles north of the city...
...And now what...
...It overlooking a gully on the outskirts of Sonora facing ever eaten...
...The coyote told us the tall man would put us up in his house until our relatives or friends wired them the rest of the money...
...He said the man would take us to a city called Phoenix...
...One of them stopped in front of me a second time...
...I couldn't feel my left arm...
...He assured me that everything was OK, but I was as terrified as I had ever been crossing Mexico...
...When they boarded the bus, they looked at me and then continued to the back of the bus, reviewing the passengers...
...we were too squeezed together...
...Are you from Colombia...
...From Mexico City we took a less luxurious bus all the way to Guadalajara, and from there to Nogales, Sonora, on the Arizona border...
...We arrived at a village called La Arrozera, the site of the immigration checkpoint...
...After a long, worrisome wait, the other car arrived with our two companions...
...tomorrow it might be you...
...It will be another...
...We walked a few blocks to McDonald's...
...On the way to a town where we would have to pass another immigration checkpoint, the bus was detained and two Federal policemen got on to look for "illegals...
...In a minute we will stop so you can get out...
...We rode second-class buses and "combis"-vans with seating for about ten people-frequently separating into two groups, trying not to say anything, trying to blend in as much as possible, trying to stay a step ahead of the Mexican police who were on the lookout for illegal migrants...
...If not we ported all the SEl Salvador...
...We slept in a small hotel and left early in the morning for a small town near the river that separates Guatemala from Mexico...
...I told her everything would be all right...
...You are pollas," he said, "and I am going to turn you in...
...Haven't you ever done an act of charity...
...They said it was happening right now...
...She would pay the men when we got to her house...
...that he had been taking people to the United States for years, but was thinking of retiring because the work was getting harder and less profitable...
...I said we had none, because they were asking for a lot, more than we had...
...He told me about the way he worked...
...While we ate we tried to relax, but we remained separated...
...At the same time we had no idea where to seek refuge...
...When we finally found ourselves riding the three-wheelers-the driver seated over the back wheel, two passengers upfront-Some Mexic guards detained river...
...One of the boys and I inched up, peeked around the tree to see better, and saw some children-maybe nine or ten years old-up ahead on the same path...
...This time we were successful...
...I got into the front seat of one of the cars, pretending to be the wife of the tall white man...
...This was precisely where his niece had been arrested last month, and the three of us deported...
...I told them I frequently went to shop on the border and no one had ever asked me for a permit before...
...Again, Tere and I separated from the others and strolled with the boys as sweethearts, dressed in Oaxacan clothing the coyote had gotten for us...
...After dinner we stayed to speak with Agustin's mother...
...The coyote and Tere got in the back, Tere lay down on the back seat and the coyote lay on the floor, covered with a blanket...
...As we walked, one of the boys got a little drunk and started really trying to make love to Tere, who looked like she was about to panic and scream...
...The name I chose was without an: Rosario Marroquin...
...They put us in a Cherokee and drove to a hill on U.S...
...It was a recent Vol XXXV, No 2 SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 200137 Vol XXXV, No 2 SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2001 37REPORT ON RACE AND MIGRATION picture, taken just a few months before on her visit to El Salvador...
...There eunited with the three boys who had left y problem...
...I told myself I was on this road with the permission of God...
...They remained silent...
...Why do you have to know...
...But the men delivered me to my "promised land...
...I got back on the phone...
...We got off the bus and the coyote's helpers were there...
...We set off on April 10...
...With that confidence, I took Tere's hand and went into the Guatemalan immigration office to ask for a permit to enter the country...
...She asked to speak to them...
...After a long drive we arrived at the house of the tall man in Phoenix...
...It was late and we hadn't eaten anything since very early in the morning...
...Now it's the two of us...
...From Villa Flores, we made our way through small villages up the Pacific coast through Chiapas and into the state of Oaxaca...
...We took a taxi, but NACIA REPORT ON THE AMERICAS C 38REPORT ON RACE AND MIGRATION when I read the instructions on the paper to the driver, he asked if we had documents...
...Before starting out I put a picture of the two of us in my suitcase...
...I became even more angry and decided to return to the Salvadoran migration office which was only about 15 yards away...
...The children told us to cross the yards around these houses, signalling with their fingers, and they stayed there on top of the last hill...
...Maria Eugenia was nowhere to be found...
...This time we were careful...
...Maria Eugenia's sister Luisa answered, and he handed me the phone...
...She was sent for by her sister, and also left a two-year-old baby behind...
...We tried to learn some of it to hide our origins and even though we laughed at ourselves trying to imitate Mexicans, in the end it worked...
...But that night I was praying with my eyes closed and I suddenly felt hands upon my head and a voice said: "Look, I will keep you from evil...
...I had pass...
...This time we waited at a little cluster of houses for the coyote and our two companions...
...Through all this we had no idea whether or not they believed we were Mexicans...
...My companions and I sat behind the door, full of fear...
...We were all tense and anxious, carefully observing from above the terrain Everything over which we were going to travel...
...We asked them if the knew the path to the other side of the hill...
...The coyote went to look for the boys again...
...we reached the United States in 15 days...
...I said nothing to keep from giving away my accent...
...When I got to the United States, she lent me almost $2,000 more, $1,500 for the coyote and $400 to pay two Dominican taxi drivers who drove me from Kennedy Airport to her house 90 miles upstate...
...We left there, and just a few steps from the ranch, some men awaited us with other tricycles...
...Some were still not convinced that all was well and Don Pablo asked me to speak with them to let them know that he had been magnificent and responsible throughout the trip...
...I saw Don Pablo talking with a tall white man who appeared to be a Mexican-American...
...I got frightened and asked if she was OK...
...I felt terrible because Don Pablo had put her in my care...
...One thing I had told the others before leaving was that if we believed in our Mexican identities, they would believe in us as well, to which my Salvadoran companions responded with a very spirited "dndale...
...We had pizza for dinner and the children showed me where I-Tia Ana-would be staying...
...So Oaxaca City was our goal...
...I felt strange in this place...
...if not we would be deported all the way back to El Salvador...
...She told me Don Pablo was an honorable man, worthy of confidence...
...that unless Maria Eugenia showed up, I had no other choice...
...She told me Maria Eugenia had gone to the airport hours ago and must be lost...
...Another companion, Carmen, told us she was going because her husband abused her and she was simply running away...
...The men asked me where I was from...
...Luisa paid them the $400 and shortly afterwards, Marfa Eugenia and her children returned from their misadventure at Kennedy...
...He asked me for identification...
...I had left my country with great strength and with faith in God and myself...
...Halfway to our destination we heard voices again and stopped, hunching down behind a tree...
...Pray for the envious ones and pray because the devil wants to snatch you up...
...Luisa told me to be careful but to go...
...I told her how desperate I was to leave and, without promising anything, she said she would try to help me...
...It was there that I realized just how resourceful the coyote was...
...Despite my intervention, Tere's family never sent the money and Don Pablo ended up driving her to Los Angeles to try to collect from her sister's family...
...always thought my world was the only one that existed and thinking about other lands was like thinking about other planets...
...He gave me the money and I got the permits from both migration offices...
...She told us some customs and vocabulary of certain parts of Mexico...
...At once I felt secure and words came into my mouth...
...God sees everything and forgets nothing...
...asked me for a Salvadoran migration permit...
...If you find her, fine...
...I asked the coyote...
...We crossed into Guatemala and the five of us boarded a bus to Guatemala City...
...Our two three-wheelers kept a certain distance from each other...
...She cried when she told us her story...
...On the way to Oaxaca, we passed through a small city called Juchitin...
...He explained to me how the trips were planned...
...Here take this money for the trip...
...Our first problem arose on the El Salvador-Guatemala border...
...the truck had a hidden compartment under the seat in which one person fit, but we thought that Tere and I, both being small and thin, could fit inside together...
...Two men approached me and one said in Spanish: "It's too dangerous for you to stay here...
...We left the office and the policeman who had detained Tere approached us and asked us for money to let us through...
...In the house lived a single mother with five children who this isn't very helped the coyote with informaiut take it and tion about the situation in town...
...Some of the relatives wanted to speak with us to make sure we were all OK before sending the money...
...We talked for a long while, the boy's ardor cooled, he remembered his job, and they finally took us to the bus stop where we got the first of two combis the coyote told us to take to Oaxaca...
...The men took us to a hotel...
...That night we barely slept, thinking of how we were going to cross the river into Mexico and even how we would be dressed...
...But they did not want to take it since it was so little...
...And he refused to let us out...
...We were more anxious than ever at that moment because everything depended on whether they believed we were Mexicans...
...I had never thought much about the difference between Salvadorans and Mexicans, and I am still not sure there is one, but I know that pretending to be a Mexican got me where I am today and might have even saved my life...
...The coyote left with Carmen and Betty, while Tere and I went with the three boys...
...In all my life I had never seen a bus that luxurious...
...I became furious when they The coyote said it would cost me $2,500-$1,000 upon leaving El Salvador and the balance upon arriving in the United States...
...I was visibly shivering and one of the taxi drivers lent me his overcoat...
...were Mexic We were well within the gully would be de when we heard a voice that we couldn't understand but we could way back tc imagine what it was all about...
...In Guatemala City we took another bus to a town called Coatepeque...
...I know t poverty as mu I said...
...one of them asked...
...The people who lived in the house were Agustin, his wife, two children, two brothers and mother...
...We carefully approached them and asked if they knew when the Border Patrol changed shifts...
...Ecuador...
...When we entered we found Don Pablo waiting for us...
...I was then in my early twenties, with no real work and no prospects in my own country...
...Don Pablo found some boys to walk with us from one end of town to the other, where we would get another bus going further north...
...With a gesture, they indicated that we should follow...
...I said nothing...
...But that's no problem," I said...
...We finished eating, and once again we were ready to leave...
...The woman of the farm prepared us food and coffee...
...Otherwise we are here to help...
...I threw the money at the driver and he said, "I'm going to turn you in anyhow," but I heard those words from far away because the moment we left the taxi I saw the white car of the men who had given us that paper and I shouted to my friends: "Get in the white car...
...the church and returned to the park...
...She received a temporary green card in 1998 and now lives in Brooklyn, NY with her husband and baby daughter For reasons of confidentiality the names of her fellow migrants have been changed...
...that he always took very few passengers, a minimum of two and as many as seven...
...We traveled for half an hour and arrived at Agustin's house where they served us supper...
...It was about six in the morning...
...We were ecstatic and we told ourselves: "It worked...
...I was cold, frightened and alone...
...I nodded and whispered "dndale...
...I heard the voice of one of the brothers asking us if everything was all right and I answered that we couldn't take much more of it...
...our footsteps felt firmer...
...Two days later the truck arrived at five in the morning...
...We ing our prayers when the coyote came back...
...We crossed streets, neighborhoods and small hills...
...that at the moment there was no vigilance...
...We were now so far away from our country, and these tricycles-really big three-wheeled carts-were so strange to us that riding them seemed like a great joke...
...He Vol XXXV, No 2 SEPTEMBERIOCTOBER 2001 39REPORT ON RACE AND MIGRATION told us to bear up a little longer...
...I was taking care of my older sister's seven children at the time of Maria Eugenia's visit, and every time she and I went out together I brought all my little nephews and nieces along...
...The truck left rapidly and on the road one of my arms fell asleep...
...I wanted everything to be all right, but being together in that little box with two men seated on top of us was not very agreeable...
...Don't we all, at some time or another, need the kindness of others...
...We knelt and prayed...
...After a while a bus stopped and out stepped the coyote and our two friends, and I remembered that he had told us: "If we make it to the houses past the checkpoint, we have made it...
...I felt frustrated and full of worry because I didn't want to be deported a second time...
...the doors were open and we went in...
...I said: "OK, then give us your names and that's how we will remember you...
...The prayer ended and I felt strong...
...The coyote's name was Don Pablo, I had met him through a friend whose sister had left for the north NACIA REPORT ON THE AMERICAS r m 36REPORT ON RACE AND MIGRATION three months before...
...We had the feeling the Mexican police were watching us...
...He returned 40NACIA REPORT ON THE AMERICAS u m 40 NACIA REPORT ON THE AMERICASREPORT ON RACE AND MIGRATION with three boys who would help us cross...
...But when he stopped for a red light I shouted to my companions, "Quick, let's get out of here...
...Everything else seemed infinitely distant, but there I was, beginning to cross Mexico...
...We waited for a few minutes and I began to get anxious...
...It seemed to be a romantic spot for strolling couples, but because it was so well-lit, I thought we would be safe...
...For the entire length of the trip, from the first time I crossed the border separating Guatemala and Mexico to the point where I was alone and afraid in a strange taxi taking me from Kennedy Airport to a small town in upstate New York, I tried to dress, talk and act like a Mexican...
...the coyote, Betty and Carmen ahead...
...On the road we changed plans...
...We left Vol XY.1XV No 2 SEPTEMBERIOCrOBER 2001 41 Vol XXXV, No 2 SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2001 41REPORT ON RACE AND MIGRATION The author and her new baby in New York City...
...There we all met, and we went into the bathroom to embrace...
...I know much money, b let us we had to struggle to keep from laughing...
...territory-exactly the hill we were headed for...
...The other, my constant traveling companion, was Tere, at 18 the youngest of us all...
...We had brought enough clothing to always be cleanly dressed, to not look like pollas, which is what they call the immigrants who travel these roads...
...Then I heard one of the men: "We just passed the migra...
...t was at the end of the trip, at the Arizona border and again in New York, that I had to once again try very hard to be a Mexican...
...I had Maria Eugenia's phone number, and he made the call for me...
...She said the men were thieves but probably reliable...
...Tere and I looked at one another and the border guards did the same...
...My older brother had been killed in the civil war, and most of the rest of my family had lost what little they ever had during the conflict...
...She had also left her children behind...
...We four women all whether the embraced, divided into the usual pairs and started our journey...
...I couldn't stop thinking of what had happened the first time...
...They handcuffed the three boys...
...A car and a pickup were ready, but the men, remembering that just a month ago the coyote's niece had been arrested while riding in that same car, only took us to a nearby road where we could take a bus...
...They ran down the countries: "Peru...
...The coyote told us that once we got to the city of Oaxaca we could take buses that would travel on highways all the way to the U.S...
...Just before Christmas, 1993, after ten years in the United States, she had paid a visit to our hometown, Santa Ana...
...We gave the phone numbers of our friends and relatives to the coyote and he and the tall man began to make the calls...
...We recruited three new travelers to cover Don Pablo's costs-the disheartened niece stayed home-and we started out again a month later...
...I said, "then let us out here...
...the men from the Border Patrol opened the doors, remaining seated with their feet on the ground and questioned us in the car...
...We continued walking in pairs, each pair well separated from the next...
...I know this isn't very much money, but take it and let us pass...
...Translated from the Spanish by NACLA...
...I don't want to have any problems with immigration," he said...
...There the coyote gave us the instruction to all meet in a McDonald's, and we all split up again...
...They told us that if we handed over the coyote they would let us cross...
...At that, the guard said "Go ahead," and he stretched out his hand for the money...
...The other two women traveled in the other car with two of the coyote's partners...
...We got on the same bus, and we were soon in the same place we had been in before being apprehended by the Border Patrol...
...At ten in the morning we started to the boys w; cross...
...One of them came up to me and nervously gave me a piece of paper with some instructions, and he also gave me some coins and told me to "take a taxi to this place...
...I tried to open my canvas purse but it was tied very tightly and fortunately the policeman couldn't wait and he left the bus, indicating to the driver to continue on...
...Tere and I went behind...
...I had loved Maria Eugenia and her three children like my own family...
...it looked like a river of sewage flowing between two small hills, filled with vegetation, some of it dried out, some still green but with very little water, with some small houses on the tops of the hills...
...We got to Coatepeque at about midnight...
...I said nothing...
...And he said "No, because I left other passengers behind in order to take you...
...The coyote then paid the three boys who helped us cross and we said goodbye, divided now into two groups...
...But of the three, she was the most certain that she had left her baby in good hands, with its grandmother...
...I told them we were from El Salvador, that the war had recently ended and that there was no work...
...One of the guards asked us where we were from: "If you tell us where you are from we will let you pass...
...Finally the train passed and we were able to cross...
...Mexico...
...From a distance they called to us in Spanish: "Are you all right...
...I tried not to think any more and thought only of God...
...I later learned it's a $30 trip by car service...
...Three of us entered Guatemala, but they detained my friend Tere...
...They crossed without a problem, but some Mexican border guards detained Tere and me near the river...
...Look that he who proposes marriage is not your husband...
...He had left for the United States three years ago and she had not seen him since...
...They had seen the coyote waiting for us on the other side of the river, but we said we were traveling alone...
...We came to a railroad track and a train happened to come along just as Carmen, Betty and the coyote crossed, and we were separated...
...As the coyote gave us instruction for the crossing into Mexico, we made little jokes and talked about our motives for trying to go to the United States...
...The tall man drove Carmen and me to the airport...
...With difficulty, she said no...
...We returned to the same place from which we had left...
...I was going to join my childhood friend in New York State to start a new life...
...Then they opened the door and let us return to the Mexican side along with the coyote, keeping the three boys in the Cherokee...
...After the elation of being mistaken for Mexicans, the four of us now felt somewhat defeated...
...Agustin's brothers lifted the seat and Tere and I got in...
...We rode across town until we arrived at a house where we changed clothes to look more like mestizas from Chiapas...
...Now I faced the guards with my mind completely empty...
...We know how dangerous it is to try to go to the United States, and we wouldn't do it if the situation were not so bad in our country...
...Two Border Patrol officers had seen us and we walked toward them...
...So we decided to stay another two nights in order to travel in the truck...
...I was right behind Tere's back and couldn't hear her breathing...
...we were ri We memorized the names...
...I asked if I should go with the men...
...He said it would cost me $2,500 dollars-$1,000 upon leaving El Salvador and the balance upon arriving in the United States, and that the fee included the right of three attempts to enter the United States in case I was turned back...
...border, and that we would no longer have to worry as much about standing out as foreigners in small Mexican villages...
...The fee included the right of three attempts in case we were turned back...
...My sister is meeting me...
...We crossed the river, found our comd us near the panions, and with a great deal of :hat you know caution, walked until we came to a small farm not far from the ch as we do," river...
...And we were...
...They told us were finish that if we were detained not to give our real names but We all left to give names more typical of the region...
...I saw an old well-lit railroad station up ahead and shouted "Let's sit there for a while...
...My childhood friend Maria Eugenia lent me the money for the trip...
...Pray for him who smiles from far away...
...We responded that we were OK...
...We crossed Guatemala and got as far as an immigration checkpoint in southern Mexico where Don Pablo's 16-year-old niece was detained by border police...
...We took a bus and in a few minutes we were cheese...
...I was frightened throughout the two-hour trip, and at one point considered escaping from the car and running into the upstate hills...
...I never found out if he was successful...
...After we reached an agreement, we got together three times to talk about the trip and to plan our departure...
...We have a taxi...
...Our first attempt was a failure...
...They said yes and they offered to guide us...
...They parked...
...And so we got out and sat with the men in the cabin of the truck as we continued on the road to Villa Flores, the town where I had once waited for Don Pablo's niece...
...We looked over the entire area...
...We made the trip from El Salvador, through Guatemala and Mexico, by car, taxi, bus, truck, bicycle and a pedaled cart we called a "tricycle...
...You are illegal," he said...
...We tried to hide ourselves among the stalls of Nogales' street vendors, walking the streets among so many people...
...I was an evangelical Christian then and the night before I left I went to my church and a prophet prayed for all of us, as always...
...I could see how their faces changed when they heard what I said, and they began to joke: "Yes, and when you come back here in your big new cars you won't be paying us any attention at all...
...She had gotten lost at Kennedy Airport and I found myself all alone at the exit gate...
...I know that you know poverty as much as we do...
...Ana Guillen left El Salvador for the United States in 1994...
...Please let us pass," I begged them...
...They asked us not to start out until they got a little ways in front of us so that they would not be suspected if anything were to happen...
...When we got to Nogales, we went to a small park while the coyote looked for some people he knew who worked as guides, helping people cross the border...
...We remained silent for what seemed like a long time, without moving, hidden among the thickets, but it was useless...
...But my much anticipated airport reunion with Maria Eugenia never happened...
...Carmen took a plane to Los Angeles and I got on a plane to New York...
...I didn't realize how quickly that help would come...
...She spoke to us sweetly and encouragingly...
...We arrived at the hill...
...Then they asked us for money...
...I offered them the money the coyote had put in my hand saying, "This is all the money I have," taking it out of my purse...
...I also realized just how many people in Mexico earned a living by passing migrants along...
...She had left two children in El Salvador...
...One of the women, Betty, was going because her husband had sent for her...
...we can help you...
...Have these men hurt you...
...We told him what had happened to us...
...He said they would take me there for $400...
...They came over to us and he said in a low voice: "We made it...
...You are taxi drivers," I said...
...Don Pablo went out to pay the two men who brought them...
Vol. 35 • September 2001 • No. 2
