The Spice Box

THE SPICE BOX Rosh Hashanah in Atlantic City? Our very favorite of this month's crop (sp?) is an ad from the Washington (D.C.) Jewish Week, sent in by Faith Lapidus Weiner of Wheaton, MD. No...

...Yuch Susan Schlechter of NYC sends us a menu from a fancy private club in Birmingham, AL...
...You aint seen nothin' yet You think shrimp in matzah meal is odd...
...Well, what can you expect...
...We wonder who's killing him now When Rabbi Neil Sandler went to Dallas to negotiate the contract for his first full-time pulpit, the Negotiations Committee handed him a draft with the following stipulation: "The Rabbi shall attend and participate as called upon at the Board meeting and at the annual Congregational meeting and such other meetings as the President requests including execution committee meetings...
...There you'll find a full exposition of the following: "Now, define a goy as a girl born before the year 2000 or a boy born thereafter, and define a birl as a boy born before the year 2000 or a girl born thereafter...
...You'd have thought that an outstanding contribution to the |\ Jewish community would be cause for praise and celebration...
...Kosher pork is weird...
...They also serve "roast rack of lamb on an oak board...
...Wanna bet...
...Now turn to p. 188 of Richard C. Jeffrey's The Logic of Decision, submitted by reader Oscar Pirschein of Menlo Park, CA...
...Why cant it be Tom Kippur the whole year around...
...So: Is the equine Bashert a coincidence, or is it conscious...
...Then you must not be following the bulls...
...Today, California...
...But we couldn't resist...
...But we've no doubt a future of Olds awaits him, as long as he keeps practicing...
...There's a construction proj ect under way there—and none of those employed on the site are Kenyans, their trucks are unmarked, the town itself is in an isolated and sparsely populated area of the country...
...Cut-off time for ordering them is 9:00 a.m...
...For El Judeo is the newest rage among bullfight fans...
...When "goy" is acceptable Years ago, when we introduced a philosemitic Chinese friend of ours to a Jew named "Berl," his immediate remark was, "Well, well, goy meets Berl...
...Prom the look of things, it's underground hangars that are being built...
...Info, please We're trying to track down the origins of a horse (not a rabbit, happily) named "Bashert," recent winner of the Devon Stakes at Keystone Race Track...
...Remember Barney Ross...
...Once he's achieved stardom, become truly expert at dispatching the bulls, we have any number of assignments for him...
...I And Tom Kippur inWajir...
...We reserve the right to edit all submissions...
...Bashert, of course, means "destined, fated"—as in, "It was bashert that we two would meet...
...The Lubavitcher rebbe, if the Chabad Timea's account can be trusted, deems otherwise, and when the Lubavitcher rebbe deems otherwise, well, you'll pardon the expression, heads roll...
...Our final culinary treat is from the menu of the Carib Beach Hotel in St...
...Enough., already...
...A" for effort And reader Mildred Hellerstein sends us a mimeographed newsletter of a prestigious New York law firm...
...Reader David Pinto of Montreal sends along a clip from Africa Now that reports on the strange doings in Wajlr, Kenya...
...Is this what Plnsker had in mind when he wrote Auto-Emancipation...
...It's a veritable epidemic...
...In the past, we've published California plates that read: mutek, dr rabbi, ravak, sabta, 4 gzntr8 and kvetchy—and still, our bulging file of plates is half-Cal...
...Thanks to reader Sharon Fliss of Tappan, NY...
...Actually, so far as we've been able to learn, he's still there...
...Thanks to Rabbi David Maharam, apparently a pony-lover, for alerting us...
...Now that's what we call glatt treif...
...And that aint hull...
...Clever, we thought...
...One of the feature entrees is golden gulf shrimp, you'll excuse the expression, "fried in matzah meal...
...Who ever said that Jews can't be star athletes...
...So, in an effort to debulge, we present the pick of the gutter: Tour child is in good hands Santa Monica reader Rina Rubens tein sends along this ad from a recent TV Journal...
...This humble American Jew began his perilous journey to the center ring In Mexican border towns...
...Witness this clipping from an article entitled "Chabad Dinner Smashing Success," submitted by reader Dr...
...What, you never heard of El Judeo...
...No surprise, actually...
...And, as If to prove the point for a new generation, we now have, ladles and gentlemen...
...El Judeo...
...No extra charge for the reverence, we presume...
...Second place, incidentally, went to Bold Relic...
...Under the headline "Kosher Meals," recipients are informed that "kosher meals are now available at the cafeteria...
...Rabbi Robert Alper of Spring House, PA, sends along this innovative hustle for prospective dieters...
...all God's children, and so forth...
...Take that, Arnold Toynbee...
...Sid Luckman...
...sounds like an efficient combination to us...
...We especially like the association of modern dancing and potty training...
...The Diet Center people probably don't realize that serious breast-beating burns calories like crazy...
...Geoffrey Kaye was then introduced and was given a plague for his outstanding contribution to Chabad and the Jewish community...
...Depending on length, well pay from $5 to $50 for material that is accepted...
...Chew on that...
...So how come permission's been sought and granted for the construction of a synagogue in Wajlr...
...Be sure to Include your name, address and telephone number...
...David Ben-Asher of Tucson...
...Now, figure it out: (1) A typo, (2) a Freudian slip, (3) Texas...
...The daily selections are beef, fish, & pork...
...of the day you want the meal...
...How about this clipping from a 1974 issue of the Long Beach Independent, saved—Just for you—all these years by Rabbi Wolli Kaelter...
...Please send us ideas, notes, curiosities—anything you'd like to share with our subscribers...
...T]he point is that in the languages men actually speak there are simple terms for boy and girl but not for goy and birl...
...tomorrow...
...Kaye spoke of his support for Chabad and his Well, of all things...
...Thomas, submitted by Michael Kurclas of Great Neck: The sandwich menu starts off with—honesty—"Kosher All Beef Hot Dogs—with bacon and cheese...
...but no...
...Invitation Readers are invited— and encouraged—to submit material for The Spice Box...
...Can he part the waters, too...
...Spice Box submissions Cannot be acknowledged or returned...
...Add a "t" and you get anarew We promise (sort of) that this will be the last rabbi-rabbit mixup...
...How about Hank Greenberg, or Marc Spitz...

Vol. 8 • October 1983 • No. 9


 
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