The Spice Box
THE SPICE BOX Beware of Orthodox attack rabbits Speaking of rabbis (aren't we always?), it has come to our attention that there is some confusion out there between our spiritual leaders, may they...
...According to an item in the PZUJadeJphia Inquirer (Dec...
...North Dakota...
...The article, to our chagrin, continues:" 'I was recently shocked to learn of a very religious rabbinic family,' he [Hecht] said, 'who had invited a number of gentile children to their Purim dinner...
...Our hunch (hutch...
...It is not sufficient, either...
...Help...
...After all, what else could "Young Shee Jew," followed by address and phone number, mean...
...Be sure to Include your name, address and telephone number...
...Tevye would plotz Rabbi Richard Plavin from Manchester, Connecticut, spotted this rewriting of "Tradition" in the Jewish News...
...And one from Quebec, too...
...Mixed seating, No Chauffeur, no reading Torah____ Please submit resume df tape to Temple____" Tomorrow, the language Contributing editor Steve Whitfield notes that Yiddish has by now taken a firm hold even in the bastions of English-speaking, decidedly-non-ethnic propriety...
...These two Jewish license plates hall from the east coast's Jewish population heartland...
...Well Just close with one last observation, which perhaps expresses in three short words the jeremiad calls we hear (too frequently for our tastes) from varying sectors of the Jewish community: Woh, Yong Jew...
...The Spy Who Fell Into the Cold (Water...
...Alaska...
...Come to think of it, maybe it is actually a message from former Children of the Covenant...
...She comments, "Awfully nice of him, don't you think...
...It was painful enough to read that he'd come up with the idea...
...Exhibit A (upper right): Reader Sorlee Jacobs, Sterling, Illinois, points out that this is a fundraising technique about which her small-town congregation, in its wildest of brainstormings, never even dreamt...
...The Born-Agaln Identity...
...Invitation Readers are invited— and encouraged—to submit material for The Spice Box...
...But, dear readers, it is not enough...
...Please send us ideas, notes, curiosities—ajoything you'd like to share with our subscribers...
...Missionary Impossible...
...29,1982), forwarded to us by Margery Weiss, Ball hopes to copyright the name of his new holiday—you guessed it: "Hanamas"—and to develop an ecumenical way of marketing it for this year's holiday season...
...In the same vein, Dr...
...We wish friend Woh well, and mean no offense, but we'd have preferred WOW...
...When Zero Mostel sang of becoming a rich man, we don't think seafood tails—or even prime rib—were the type of riches he had in mind So who will sound the horn...
...of the puny, unattractive golus Jew...
...Yen [to be a] Jew...
...So, in the spirit of simple chuckles, no insult intended (we wish we could say, "Names have been changed to protect the innocent," but that wouldn't work), here we go____ There is some truth here, in this phone book listing, but, frankly, we're a bit skeptical of at least one of the items...
...Could be that we're reading this thing all wrong...
...Oxford University— the Oxford Univer-sityl^-offers an intensive summer program(me) on the postgraduate level in Yiddish language and literature, right there on its ivied campus...
...Rabbi Herbert Kavon of New York City recently forwarded to us his collection of Jewish oddities, including the following selection from the classified ad section of a newspaper: "CANTOR WANTED: For High Holidays, Baal Musaf for small congregation...
...Virginia and Wisconsin...
...The Jewish Post and Opinion ran a story not] long ago about one Rabbi Jacob Hecht, head of the National Committee For the Furtherance of Jewish Education of the Lubavitch Movement, and his criticism of major Jewish organizations' attitudes toward intermarriage...
...But— can you spot an appropriate plate in, say, Wyoming...
...South Carolina...
...If you can, and you do, for any of these six states you'll receive, along with a special prize filled with good intentions and little value, our usual letter of glowing congratulations...
...We should all be well...
...Good idea...
...Yew Leong [to be a] Jew...
...Mazal tov...
...At least not for too long...
...P.S...
...No thanks It seems thatTRon Ball of Philadelphia has solved the December Problem that plagues many intermarried couples...
...We could go on, but we won't...
...The headline: "Jewish Bodies Glorify Intermarriage...
...San Franciscan Nick Martin's clipping from the local phone hook would probably do just as well without editorial embellishment, but the temptation is too great...
...As reported in The Jewish Week of May 20, 1983, forwarded to us by Harriet Josefowicz of Brooklyn, "An eagle-eyed Brooklyn rabbi uncovered a spy in his mikveh who was posing as a Chassid, but in reality was a Christian missionary...
...it has come to our attention that there is some confusion out there between our spiritual leaders, may they be ever productive, and those furry little creatures with the cottonball tails, who, we all know, are constantly producing...
...It was clearly a first step toward teaching them that to...
...How else are we to understand such comments as "You Ben Jew...
...Or d'ju think this might be a subtle proselytizing effort—Soon [to be a] Jew...
...Thank the Lord for small favors...
...Exhibit B: From Rabbi Herbert Kavon of NYC, a news clipping, reprinted here word-for-word: "Orthodox rabbit attending the annual meeting of the Rabbinical Council of America yesterday attacked Jewish secular organizations—notably the American Jewish Committee—for putting pressure on Second Ecumenical Council leaders for passage of a proposed statement on relations between the Roman Catholic Church and Jews...
...We'd like to see a double-page spread here in The Spice Box of Jewish license plates from the entire U.S...
...Michael Nevins sent in ZIGZNT, taken in a doctor's parking lot...
...We have in our office, as well, a smattering of vanity plates from all over the country: of course, from California, vanity's home, but also from Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Mexico (!), Pennsylvania, Utah...
...Imagine the impression this made on theirl children...
...Who knows...
...It will not do...
...Aw, Hecht...
...are, obviously, easy...
...Thereto a spy in my miJsveh...
...Ball, an advertising manager and a Jew who married a Christian a few months back, proposes a brand-new holiday to celebrate peace and brotherhood...
...Don't despair, oh loyal fans...
...Now he wants to tell the world about it...
...Pair enough...
...And Senior District Judge Wyzanski, U.S...
...Court of Appeals, 2nd Circuit, in Milton Silverman v. United States, is on record as having ruled (on May 31,1977) that "in any event, the tactical decision made at the criminal trial precludes Silverman from relying on his ohutzpadlch contention that he has new evidence of his attorney's falsifications...
...Hawaii...
...But further research by our Intrepid correspondent revealed that the car's owner is a life insurance salesman...
...Whadd^u think...
...We reserve the right to edit all submissions...
...Here in our Boston office, we're not real up on the sports scene, but it must be that the Cardinals did something pretty swell to merit such a plug...
...Good wishes L'CHAIM, notes reader Deborah Both, might not, under normal circumstances, he such an unusual plate to see on a New York car...
...of A. Maryland, Rhode Island, Florida, etc...
...Send in your favorite Jewish plates from every state of the union...
...If they're good enough for United Hebrew Temple, they're good enough for us...
...How did the rabbi spot the offender...
...At any rate, that brings us a long way from the old stereotype...
...Frank Jews we've encountered many times, but c'mon—have you ever actually known a serene Jew...
...is that it is an innocent scribal error, but weVe seen it so often, we're beginning to wonder...
...The goys of Yiddish...
...Used to be no one thought that Jewish bodies could glorify anything...
...Alternate titles: "Friday the Chassid Wore Sweats...
...Sock It To 'Em!'*] It sounds more like a James Bond movie or a Robert Ludlum thriller than a true story out of Boro Park—but a funny thing really did happen on one rabbi's way into the mikveh...
...Happy hunting...
...So now, be it hereby decreed and announced and stated (and also said) that the first moment Magazine License Plate Roundup has officially begun...
...We surely will receive more than one license plate from many states, so while we're waiting for all fifty to come in, we will continue to print the best of the lot...
...There are some indications that this is an advertisement placed by a shadohen, or perhaps a way one enterprising young single has found to place a "Personals" ad without/ paying for it...
...share meals and drink-wine with gentiles is quite acceptable.'" Goodnight, Rabbi Hecht...
...The chosen people This photo was submitted by reader Peter Benjamin back in November...
...Well, it seems that the masquerader was wearing the requisite black coat, "but underneath sported a pair of sweat socks with racing stripes...
...And reader Paul Uhlmann of Kansas City points out that at least it is the Jewish bodies who are glorifying intermarriage, not the Christian ones...
...Material cannot be returned...
...Send one, send all...
...We want license plate photos from all fifty states...
...Alabama...
...Better plate than never...
...Depending on length, well pay from $5 to $50 for material that is accepted...
Vol. 8 • July 1984 • No. 7
