The Spice Box
THE SPICE BOX Die, dayenu We imagine the Neturei Karta folks who hung this jolly sign in their Jerusalem neighborhood ran out of space to write both "cease" and "desist," so they just combined...
...The answer...
...See a lawyer first...
...3. Even though halachah forbids playing with cards on Shabbas, if they're Tora cards, are you allowed to read them...
...Dear readers, you and we know that moment is a well-guarded secret...
...You dirty commelinaceae...
...And thanks to Donald Altschiller, who reads household journals the way the rest of us read timetables...
...How do you say "subtle" in Chinese...
...Constitution's...
...Zander, who writes a fine Yiddish...
...Do not bite whom prohibited Last month, in a moment of Yom Kippur contrition, we promised (sort of) to cease and desist—at least until Shemini Atzeret— with the rabbi/rabbit slips...
...Spice Box submissions cannot be acknowledged or returned...
...Speaking of borrowings: How *bout the ad from the Golden China Restaurant in Maryland...
...For Tu-tuB'Shvat...
...Questions: 1. Is the reader available for the High Holidays...
...Hamantaschen for Rosh Hashanah...
...Special thanks to Mrs...
...If anything | We made the papers...
...I hereby transfer all my wealth to the Bank of Tokyo without recourse...
...Honest—here's an unadulterated adults-only ad from a Barnes & Noble catalog of 1984 calendars: "UP FRONT: 1984 Calendar...
...Herring in sour cream in the midst of all that...
...we could live without the "fleshy," but it's nice to see our adaptability recognized...
...When you put a magen david on a Mercedes, who gets the last laugh...
...That reminds us, Ln a roundabout way, of the business about inoculating dogs against rabbis...
...His company, Simon Brothers Bakery of Chicago, has just created—you guessed it—the fortune bagel...
...It was submitted by reader Renee Gladstone of that city, who observes that the restaurant is not Jewish...
...Turns out, however, that the Silvery Wandering Jew (known familiarly to the experts as Commelinaceae ) is defined as "fleshy," "tolerant to warm or cool, light or shade...
...But then comes the rub, so to speak: "Pinch to keep in shape...
...Lawrence's aside) were innocuous folk...
...Please send us ideas, notes, curiosities— anyth ing you'd like to share with our subscribers...
...17 (that was Yom Kippur this year), "Le-nore Mattoff demonstrates how to make Jewish braided egg bread...
...We reserve the right to edit all submissions...
...And Where's the Gelusil...
...Twelve neck-down photos of good looking men in various states of undress, in an album-size pin-up calendar featuring all the traditional American, Jewish and Canadian holidays...
...A new outpreach program...
...So far, not too bad...
...COr: My houseplant was a wandering Aramean) Horticultural anti-Semitism...
...This month, the Days of Awe behind us, we succumb to another base animal temptation...
...Max, and our respects to Mr...
...Submitted by Nat Pernick...
...Why, we always thought gardeners (D.H...
...THE SPICE BOX Die, dayenu We imagine the Neturei Karta folks who hung this jolly sign in their Jerusalem neighborhood ran out of space to write both "cease" and "desist," so they just combined the two— with macabre results...
...Yasher koach to reader Norman Spack, who spotted this sign at the Marshfield (MA) fair...
...Robert R. Max, of Summit, NJ, shared this ad (from The Summit Herald) with us...
...Send in the Anti-Mystification League...
...Zander to check on what the Japanese writing said...
...Depending on length, we'll pay from $5 to S50 for material that is accepted...
...And if so, by whom—the dogs or the rabbis...
...preme Judicial Court decision of 1928: The U.S...
...1. An ad for prepared foodstuffs in the Philadelphia Jewish Exponent, headlined: for your yom kippur table, (Sent to us first by reader Judy Groner Havivl...
...It's a Jewish feast, like the ad says, "for everyone...
...2. Or is this really supposed to he a Psalm reading...
...The body's the body of Mercedes, but the ornament . . . A reader who prefers anonymity—the car in question being his— sends us a photo that is, more or less, self-explanatory...
...Here in America, it seems, the dogs need to be protected against the Jews...
...Accordingly, a law requiring inoculation against rabbis would almost surely be found unconstitutional unless it also required inoculation against priests, reverends, imams, ayatollas and so forth...
...To comprehend what's happening here, you've got to know that the ad is from The Arizona Badly Star of Tucson...
...Be sure to include your name, address and telephone number...
...Rabbi Andrew Sacks (who insists the sign isn't from his shul) sends us a sign—genuine—which, we suspect, very many people follow up on...
...In America, Yom Kippur traditions seem to grow weirder and weirder every year...
...Here, sent along by reader Gary Rubin of Des Moines, is a piece from the religion column of The Des Moines Register...
...In the old country, it was Jews who wei*e afraid of dogs...
...ONLY $7.95...
...goes, why don't these...
...great guarantees of religious liberty and equality before the law of all religions are not confined to adherents of the Christian religion— We are of the opinion that Jews as well as Christians are protected by these explicit declarations of religious equality...
...11 a.m.-noon...
...And to the Tora-reader him/herself: If you think that's mystifying, you should try figuring out contemporary Jewish practice...
...The sign was spotted and the photo taken by our editor-in-chief, who was trying to stay out of trouble...
...We thought it was awfully cute, but we didn't really get the full benefit until, not wanting to offend the sensibilities of our Japanese readers, we called Mr...
...Boston attorney Donna Arzt calls our attention to the precedent-setting Massachusetts SuFirst prize Mrs...
...Curious, isn't it, how times change...
...those of you who have forgotten your Yiddish, the small-sized text reads, "Sign here," and the balance of the Yiddish says, "If you don't understand this, don't sign...
...Is this a sign of assimilation...
...Ginger melon...
...Here's another shaggy rabbi story: A recent listing of bills submitted to the Massachusetts Attorney General's Civil Bights Division includes one "prohibiting the licensing of dogs not inoculated against rabbis...
...We—like Rabbi Mark Hurvitz, who was the first to send it to us— vmll resist the temptation to embellish Next itll be blintzes with duck sauce From South Bend, Jerome Fleisher brings news of beaming Michael Bretz's good fortune(s...
...What a way to start the new year...
...3. An event at the Kitchen Port in Kerrytown, Michigan, advertised in the Ann Arbor Observer: On Sept...
...Wrong...
...Invitation Readers are invited— and encouraged—to submit material for The Spice Box...
...Thanks to Chicagoan Michael Millenson for sending in the clipping...
...Groan...
...Free...
...Ouch...
Vol. 8 • November 1983 • No. 10
