Rebbetzin Reviews Rebbetzin
Grossman, Roz
REBBETZIN REVIEWS REBBETZIN Rachel, The Rabbi's Wife. ROZ GROSSMAN Silvia Tennenbaum. William Morrow and Company, 395 pp. $9.95 I had just called my doctor for an appointment. Nothing serious—...
...Rachel Sonnshein left Buffalo and a trefe household...
...I suppose it is living with this sham of a man that has turned Rachel into the neurotic, depressed social misfit she is throughout most of the book...
...Is the author subconsciously moved by the tragic figure of Rachel in the Bible...
...If she enjoys sculpture or theater, music or science, she should pursue her interests as extensively as possible...
...But in these days of amazing mobility and extensive communication, what healthy, intelligent, creative person allows herself to be strangled by her husband's job...
...Take this "gem" towards the end of the book, for instance...
...Though never because I felt it was required of me...
...The minyan...
...Oh yes, the minyan...
...Well, for one thing you can stop calling me Rebbetzin...
...and was never castigated for it...
...Don't make a mockery of the dietary laws or your father will be fired...
...Tennenbaum knows this...
...Had her book been written about any woman in the throes of spiritual metamorphosis, it might have been sold, received a review or two and gotten relegated to an occasional Women's Literary Society meeting...
...Okay, Rebbetzin...
...How can you put yourself in the same category as Rachel Sonnshein...
...Tennenbaum has done, and what I find so despicable, is that she has used all of these—and me—for a buck...
...Nothing serious— just my annual checkup...
...These were the good people of my husband's congregation...
...No no no, I was awake...
...Since when do you mind being called Rebbetzin...
...Her music and poetry was produced on WEVD radio in New York...
...asked Aaron, full of mock surprise...
...Since I finished reading Silvia Tennenbaum's book, Rachel, The Rabbi's Wife, I answered, surprised myself at the bitterness and vehemence of my outburst...
...As a matter of fact, the only four-letter word this rebbetzin doesn't seem to know is Amen...
...He hung up...
...One of the older rebbetzins suggested that we have a little meeting of our own and assigned me the topic, "The Function of the Rebbetzin and the Place of the Rabbi's Children in the Community...
...Some years ago, I accompanied my husband to a Rabbinic Assembly convention...
...As I poured myself a fresh cup of coffee, I thought of the doctor's words...
...Are we to infer, if only subconsciously, that the modern rebbetzin must perforce submit herself a willing sacrifice to the furtherance of her husband's career...
...You're fleishig, son," said Seymour...
...Why did Ms...
...It was an old refrain...
...If Ms...
...I directed plays, wrote skits, organized music workshops and led choral groups...
...and at least as well...
...Just keep the plates straight," said Rachel...
...I always am," said Aaron...
...I only commented on it...
...So what else is new...
...Shit...
...The daughter of Kalba Sabua, who willingly impoverishes herself in order that her husband (the saintly Rabbi Akiba) may devote himself to the study of Torah...
...But the spiritual rewards usually outweigh the occasional nuisances...
...Citizen Cohen...
...Then there's Rachel—the name...
...Yes, as my doctor said, "Rachel is sick...
...asked Sally...
...In thirty years of "rebbetzinating" I felt free to pursue my creative bents—which happened to be music and drama...
...Oh come on, Roz," the good doctor remonstrated...
...Tennenbaum choose Rachel...
...The four-letter words...
...That's a hypocritical reason for keeping them," said Aaron...
...Tennenbaum, the character of the best supporting actor in the book is just that: a weak, vulgar caricature of a man, playing a role he clearly hates: The telephone rang...
...The rebbetzin should do whatever she has to in order to keep herself happy...
...And her woman-scorned, caught-him-in-the-act scene that finally sends her in search of self-fulfillment is strictly soap opera...
...Indeed the rabbi in Rachel, The Rabbi's Wife seems to be the villain of the piece...
...I'm forgetting all those little sons-o'-ritual-chairmen I wanted to—but didn't—throw out of my pre-Bar-Mitzvah classes, lest Mrs...
...But Seymour Sonnshein...
...so true in what it describes but so false because of what it leaves out...
...And, for added sensationalism, a shtick that's straight out of Francis Ford Coppola's wedding scene in The Godfather...
...But Silvia—she's slick...
...But the one runs back to steal her father's idols and hides them away so that he will not worship them again, while the other goes back once a year (at Passover) to revel in them for a little while...
...Seymour went to read the paper...
...For shock value...
...This was my talent...
...And some of these women are rebbe-tzins...
...The place of the rabbi's children is at home...
...Surely Ms...
...He hates to daven, he ridicules Kashrut and has a fling at adultery...
...Ritual remind her husband on the eve of the annual contract-renewal meeting, that the rebbetzin "was always picking on our Jeffrey...
...Ah, but they didn't have a rebbetzin as protagonist...
...They want me for the minyan...
...How many trashy novels and magazine stories have been written on this theme...
...And yet she deliberately chooses to report only the negative aspect of the suburban Bar Mitzvah, tiresome repetitions of scenes from Marjorie Morningstar and Goodbye Columbus...
...The woman in search of self-emancipation theme...
...And that's why I have had this wish-I-could-crawl-under-a-rock-someplace feeling since I closed the Roz Grossman, a free lance writer, is a performer and songwriter., . and a rebbetzin...
...I'm free to eat all the bacon I want, now that I've been fired...
...But then, I know of no other rabbi so blatantly hypocritical as Seymour Sonnshein nor any with so little feeling for tradition...
...When the time came for me to speak, I got up and said, "The function of the rebbetzin is to keep the rabbi happy...
...Use a milchig plate, please," said Rachel...
...I know," said Rachel...
...They had bacon-lettuce-and tomato sandwiches for lunch...
...I might be late...
...I know you don't get these at home," said Betty Diamant...
...I did make several positive contributions to the congregations we served— via the media in which I could best express my own creativity...
...Rabbi Sonnshein speaking...
...Briefly he was silent...
...Yes, there are creative women married to men whose position (professional or financial) militates against their freedom of self-expression...
...You're co-creator with her today—and that's a part of being a rebbetzin too...
...Do you mind...
...If the rabbi in question were Rabbi Akiba, I could go along with that...
...It was a sore subject, the minyan...
...Tennenbaum puts "shit" in the rabbi's mouth for shock value, she probably succeeds in shocking some portion of her readers...
...Tell you what—come in next Tuesday at eleven and we'll talk some more about it...
...Okay," I repeated, smiling a little myself...
...Watching a child to whom you've taught his first alef ascend the bimah on the morning of his Bar Mitzvah is a particularly moving experience and like his mother, you're also dabbing at your eyes...
...The Sonnsheins have just finished dinner at the home of one of their members: "The quiche was very good...
...My retrospect is coming up too much roses, I tell myself...
...Where does it stop...
...What's wrong with ice cream...
...In my own experience, however, I know of no rabbi who resents attending morning minyan...
...As portrayed by Ms...
...It's who and what you are—what you expect of yourself, and maybe what you want to share with others—that will make or break you...
...Her deliberate exploitation of every decent rebbetzin is outrageous because it is so crass...
...Not many...
...You shouldn't be having ice cream at all...
...Because it's so unfair...
...The shabby moral behavior...
...She doesn't speak for you...
...He came to the table with half a gallon of Breyer's ice cream—butter pecan...
...as a rebbetzin or Ms...
...I don't know," said Seymour Sonnshein, "This is one of my busy days and my car's been giving me trouble lately on cold mornings...
...Every professional is aware of the hazards of "living in the public eye...
...It is true that Caesar's wife had better do no wrong, especially when she chooses to work alongside her husband teaching in the congregational school or leading adult education groups...
...Is she hinting at a possible comparison between the two women...
...She's a very sick person...
...My old friend was taken aback...
...Biblical Rachel left Laban and his idols...
...That's also been around for a little while...
...Period...
...She doesn't speak for you...
...When my colleagues asked for elucidation, I willingly expanded...
...End of speech...
...But now my coffee is cold and I'm feeling too righteous...
...Both left their fathers' houses to embark upon new spiritual journeys with their Jewish husbands...
...Still another Rachel comes to mind...
...What Ms...
...I could hear the smile in his voice as he emphasized "Rebbetzin...
...I'll try to make it...
...I needed to express it...
...It seems he is also responsible for Rachel's hypocrisy: Aaron went to the refrigerator to look for dessert...
...Federbush has yahrtzeit...
...onesided...
...Oh yes, she was home, and it was going to be good to be loved a little...
...We've seen and heard 'em already...
...We are as free as we wish to be—and only as committed to the community as we want to be...
...Nowhere in the rabbi's contract is it written "And the rebbetzin shall____" I didn't attend all regular or board meetings...
...But, doggone it, she does...
...Which brings us, finally, to the nitty-gritty...
...I'm made of meat...
...Lehavdil...
...Hi, Rebbetzin, what can I do for you today...
...As Tevye cried out in Fiddler, "Where does it stop...
...Rather they are the ones who are on the phone for hours on end, cajoling, urging, even nagging their members to come to services...
...RACHEL THE RAWS WIFE cover on Rachel, The Rabbi's Wife...
...It has bacon in it," said Seymour...
...Rachel knew the call was about neither sickness nor death—there was no tenderness in Seymour's voice...
...Ok, ok," he said at last—not very meekly, thought Rachel...
...What is so disturbing about this book...
...It's been written about before...
Vol. 3 • May 1978 • No. 6
