One Family's Frustration
ONE FAMILY'S FRUSTRATION Nicki Glasser celebrated her 13 th birthday on September 10. Her bat mitzvah date has not yet been set. In fact, it almost didn't happen at all. Nicki was to be denied her...
...Nicki attended Solomon Schecter Dav School in Newton, Massachusetts...
...brackets moment's] 22...
...Jimmy, our third child, is a senior at Trumbull High School...
...What is kashrut...
...Why was God concerned about justice...
...Robert) Glasser The "Test" Part I—Jewish Skills 1. List the five attributes of God...
...9. Outline the difference between the modern synagogue and Jerusalem's Holy Temple...
...And, indeed, others might have chosen, given the nature of the response, to simply opt out...
...2. What was the highest form of "korban...
...Almost from the beginning, it was clear that things were not going to work Copies of the letter and the test were sent to 23 people in addition to Rabbi Wiener...
...Is there no ultimate authority that has jurisdiction over the clergy in our Conservative movement...
...What great difference was there between the prophets of Israel and other prophets...
...With the help ~oF i^^^^Bm, Congregation ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦'s educational director, a tutor was found outside of the congregation and Nicki was tutored all that year by Rabbi ¦BHBHHfl* The following September, it was time to set a date for Nicki to become a bat mitzvah...
...I too agreed that this was a fair solution...
...Please be assured that we deeply regret not being able to be of assistance in the matter...
...It saddens me to realize that no one seems to care enough about this issue and its future His reply, dated August 9: effect on Nicki, but it infuriates me that two Jewish professional leaders are allowed to perpetrate such a devious, deceitful act...
...4. Outline the religious doctrines of the three major movements of Judaism in America...
...Why did Moses seem to give up when faced with Korah's rebellion...
...There's more, of course...
...They do not use this test in their school...
...June 15, 1"7R I write this letter in a mood of concern and dismay...
...My husband and I have made every effort to show our children the joys of beina Jewish-- through synagogue life, a commitment to our American Jewish community, and our love and support, financially, emotionally, and spiritually, for Israel...
...Why do you think the Torah asks us to feed our animals before feeding ourselves...
...Part II 11...
...The only way I could envision keeping Nicki's interest and love of Judaism alive and burning was to take her out of Talmud Torah...
...She completed fifth grade before our family was caught in the web of our mob:le society and we were forced to move...
...Explain the term "the graves of lust" as referring to the experience of the people with the quails...
...Why were the seventy elders chosen...
...What was the sin of Moses and Aaron...
...What happened at Mt...
...What did Eldad and Medad prophesy...
...Explain the controversy that existed about the writing of the entire Pentateuch...
...I have strived, to the best of my ability, to bring Judaism into my daily life and the lives of my husband and four children...
...Why should God be faithful to man...
...The eldest, Debra, is a third year medical student at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in Worcester, Massachusetts...
...Fnclosed are copies of all our correspondence . Rabbi Wiener's interpretation of my letter was that 'the Committee on Conqregational Standards has no jurisdiction in such matters of individual congregational policy, under the guides and standards of our Movement.' My letter is not a charge against synagogue po1icy...
...Glasser from Rabbi Wiener...
...I spent futile hours trying to convince Rabbi and ¦BHflHHl of the hazard and disadvantages to Nicki's Jewish education and commitment by pursuing this track (against their own previous advice), but all my arguments fell upon deaf ears...
...Is there any real difference between praying without knowing the meaning of the words or not praying at all...
...How did Napoleon treat the Jews...
...8. According to the Torah, we may eat meat that comes from animals that a__ b__ c__ 9. What reproof did God give to the children of Israel if they did not observe his commandments...
...Solomon Schecter Day School afforded her the superb opportunity of learning about her Judaism in a natural environment that is conducive to scholarship and the grasping of a sense of mishpacha...
...I seek your wisdom and understanding on how the rabbinate can combat such action from being perpetrated against another of our all too precious children...
...They have each araduated from after-school Hebrew Schools and have been confirmed or graduated from Hebrew High School...
...And finally, the question that most people need to have answered before they are moved to action: how does all of this affect me...
...The Kohanim were to blow the silver trumpets while in the wilderness for three purposes...
...I could hardly believe my ears...
...Explain fully: Only through law can there be freedom...
...It is these children who are the lifeline of our future...
...It is because of this test that I am writing to you for your advice, counsel, and judgment...
...Well...
...WhowasBalak...
...Try it, remembering that it was administered to a twelve year old, and draw your own conclusions...
...After Mr...
...Robert) Glasser August 9, 1978 Dear Mrs...
...Ridiculous...
...Why did God tell Moses to send spies who He knew would bring back false reports to explore Canaan...
...3. What did the "korban" symbolize...
...Why were the Jews expelled from Spain...
...BJB, MrlH^f) plus other interested parties...
...Actually, she had almost missed having a bat mitzvah ceremony because of the leadership and policies of a Conservative synagogue in ^l^m, Connecticut...
...4. List three occasions that the sh'lamim offering was made...
...What was the purpose of the test made by Moses when [he re-]placed the rods of the tribal chieftain with Aaron's rod...
...I finally relented and agreed to send Nicki to Congregation BBjBflBflHfl' s Talmud Torah at Rabbi s suggestion that Nicki try it for "social" reasons...
...When was the "duchan" recited...
...In our judgment, Nicki's story touches each of us, and all of us...
...I'm sure HBHHBHHHl has a fine Talmud Torah that serves the needs of its students quite adequately, but it could not begin to fulfill Nicki's needs...
...Glasser* In reply to your letter of August 2nd, I must note that we do care, but an organization like the United Synagogue or the Rabbinical Assembly has no jurisdiction over internal congrega*-tional affairs or the administration of a rabbi, a synagogue, or in his school...
...This past year she was the advisor for Temple Emanuel's youth group...
...I am heartbroken for mv daughter Nicki, who would have liked to become a bat mitzvah at Congregation HBHI^HHH ^n ^^^H^^^J...
...Sincerely Yours, Benjamin 7. Kreitman It is, of course, too early to know what effect all of this will have on the Glasser family, and most important, on Nicki herself...
...Was I really hearing that now my daughter must attend inadequate Talmud Torah classes, simply because she requested to become a bat mitzvah...
...All the children have visited Israel at least once...
...I seek vour wisdom on how to prevent similar incidents from robbing us of our youngsters...
...Benis (Mrs...
...With this move, one of our first concerns was the continuation of Nicki's Hebrew education because she was going to be attending a public school...
...Define each term in relationship to prayer: a. keva b. kavanah c. iyunt'fillah 18...
...7. Outline the pidyon-haben service...
...2. List the three historical festivals and describe their significance...
...I very much regret to advise you, however, that the Committee has no jurisdiction in such matters of individual congregational policy, under the guides and standards of our Movement...
...What were the three purposes...
...Thank you for your time...
...Nicki was to be denied her bat mitzvah because, for starters, she had the "misfortune" to have attended a Solomon Schechter Day School...
...Why is Moses told in Numbers of his approaching death, although it does not occur until the end of Deuteronomy...
...3. List the eight attributes on the ladder of Maimonides' scale of charity...
...We are thrilled to have had this opnor-tunity to send at least one of our children to a Jewish day school...
...It is a complaint about~the unethical, ~oTi"honest, and_ immoral conduct of Rabbi BBBMWPJHB"~and BBB BBMi in preparing the test and administering it to my daughter...
...Fortunately, because of the move to Longmeadow, the immediate problem will be solved...
...8. What are the categories of kashrut determined by Jewish law...
...What prayer is the essence of our faith...
...We suspect— and fervently hope we are wrong—that Nicki's story is not unique...
...Sincerely Yours, Benis (Mrs...
...On June 15, 1978, Benis Glasser sent the following letter to Rabbi Marvin Wiener, executive secretary of the Committee on Congregational Standards of the United Synagogue of America: Dear Rabbi Wiener...
...Show how Balaam was typical of this difference...
...Explain what the "sephirah" means...
...The responses ranged from stunned silence through laughter to sympathetic disbelief...
...What was the covenant between God and Israel...
...Eefore discussing the circumstances concernina Nicki, please allow me to quickly tell you a little about-the Classer family's Jewish commitment...
...My husband and I consider ourselves fortunate to have been in Israel four times during the past ten years...
...moment took the liberty of reading some of the questions to some professional educators, and some rabbis, and some learned friends...
...Why was Moses unhappy with the Children of Israel...
...Explain your answer fully...
...And just what are the national bodies, the vast central superstructures of organizations that our congregational dues help to support, doing there...
...However, Benis Glasser decided to give it one more try...
...His reply: If Jewishness were a commodity, the Glassers might well have decided that they'd never buy the product again, that they'd stop patronizing the store...
...I've always believed the purpose of educating our children is to teach and imbue them with knowledge and love of their heritage...
...Our fourth and youngest child, Nicki, is twelve years old and a seventh grade student...
...And we'd be grateful to hear from you, to get your reactions, your tales of wonder or woe, your suggestions, your help...
...Nicki's mother, a subscriber and friend, came to moment with her story, and with the documentation of a year of frustration in dealing with an unresponsive and insensitive cast of characters...
...What are the values in continuing to observe kashrut...
...And so, on August 2 (having moved the family fromBJpj^pj|J to Longmeadow, Massachusetts^ she sent the whole package out once again, this time to Rabbi Benjamin Kreitman, Executive Vice President of the United Synagogue of America, with the following cover letter: 24...
...Glasser: June 27, 1^7R The Committee on Congregational Standards has received your letter of June 15th and the enclosed material...
...6. Describe the major elements in the Jewish marriage ceremony...
...Sincerely Yours, Marvin S. Wiener Dear Rabbi Kreitman: August 2, 1978 On June 15, 197P, I sent a letter to Rabbi Marvin Wiener...
...Nicki did attend classes for two months although it was no challenge for her...
...Explain...
...The dialogue always reverted back to--"a child must attend Talmud Torah in order to become a bar or bat mitzvah...
...My husband and I feel we have been blessed and honored with four wonderful children...
...All that Nicki was accomplishing was to be bored and turned off <>'hile fulfilling the synagogue policy of attendence at Talmud Torah...
...Enclosed with this letter is a copy of the test...
...Outline the three major worship services of the Jewish faith...
...Part III 1. What was the purpose of the "korban...
...She has had 2300 hours of Jewish education in comparison to an afternoon Hebrew school student of the same age and grade who has had 900 hours of Jewish education...
...Who are these people who are entrusted with the education of our children, with the rabbinic responsibilities to provide moral and spiritual and ethical examples to us all...
...Nicki was denied her bat mitzvah here on a Phabhat morning for unfair and unworthy reasons-- and by an attitude of inflexibility and pettiness that demeans our Jewish spirit and nromise for a strong Jewish future...
...Keith, our second child, is a junior at Babson College in T-'ellesley, Massachusetts, where he was an officer of Hillel...
...How does it stand out from the rest of the text...
...Before our family joined Congregation B^^^^^I^IB' Rabbi ^^HHHHBHr tual leader, and I conversed on this subject...
...Upon what factors are the dates of the Jewish festivals dependent...
...What did Moses do before he conquered Sihon and Og...
...The entire correspondence has been carefully reviewed and we can appreciate the circumstances which move you to write the United Synagogue...
...How were the Jews affected during the Crusades (1099-1290...
...How did you do...
...Nicki could easily have attended classes all that year in order to insure her being called up to the bema to chant her Haftorah but what would be the point...
...T humbly believe that the Board of Conservative "abbis should be made aware of the cruelty and possible harm that was directed not only to my daughter and her family but to Judaism itself...
...One of the more interesting responses, however, came to Mrs...
...We give you now, for your information, edification (and, if your reaction is at all what ours was, amazement), the test...
...Connecticut, where we are members...
...HjBJ and Rabbi P^PJBJ informed me that now Nicki could not become a bat mitavah, I appealed to the chairman of the education committee, p^p^p^p^p^p^pj...
...It is depressing, nonetheless, to consider the many implications of this sad story...
...Pecause of the quality of her Jewish education, she has been the most fortunate of our four children...
...And, together, perhaps we can write an epilogue...
...We'll funnel your comments to the Glassers and to the principal parties at United Synagogue...
...The recipients included the principals mentioned in the letter (RabbisBJland P^BJ, Mr...
...Her private tutoring lessons with Rabbi HH resumed immediately...
...When the Kohanim recited the priestly blessing, it was divided into three phrases asking: a__ b__ c__ 13...
...Rabbi ¦¦¦ and BBBMBMB told me that now Nicki must attend ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦JBJ's Talmud Torah since the policy of the synagogue is that a child must attend Talmud Torah in order to become a bar or bat mitzvah...
...I could have saved myself ample heartache if I had just let this injustice slide into obscurity, but Judaism is too important a part of my life to have let that happen...
...What is more important—learning Torah or performing mitzvoth...
...He felt the only way to find out the extent of Nicki's depth of knowledge of the seventh grade curriculum was to give her a test on this material...
...Nicki will become a bat mitzvah in Longmeadow...
...5. List five origins to names in the Jewish community...
...out...
...What problems did the Children of Israel encounter on the borders of Edom...
...In what two books of the Torah do we find the Ten Commandments...
...5. If a man took some security and denied it, he had to_and then__ 6. How does the Talmud deal with the Kohen Gadol who sinned unknowingly...
...Dear Mrs...
...We believe it is important enough a story to share with our readers...
...Explain the two meanings of vengeance that can be derived from Deuteronomy...
...I received his reply on June 30...
...It was at this time that ^^^^B^^^B said that Nicki could not attend Congregatr^n~JJpjjBJF MBBBfs Talmud Torah, as~the level or studies at the Talmud Torah was not adequate to meet Nicki's level of Jewish education...
...7. Give five examples of how the Talmud points out these deeds of God which were holy...
...I am a Jew and have always been proud of my heritage...
Vol. 3 • October 1978 • No. 10
