Aryeh Nesher, Solicitor General
ARYEH NESHER SOLICITOR GENERAL Aryeh Nesher is arguably the most successful solicitor the UJA has ever known. His achievements are legend, and a prospect who is asked to meet with him is right to...
...When I met him, he told me he wouldn't give more than $60 thousand to UJA...
...After this, you have an accurate picture...
...And I have a meeting tonight, where I am going to speak...
...The whole encounter has one goal— to make him want the process...
...A sacrifice means that somebody gives up a meal, and I don't think a single American Jew has ever done that...
...Jews are emotional...
...The good ways are good not only because they work, but because they're right...
...And nothing happened...
...Of course he can say it...
...In theory, everyone knows such a person, and that's who should do it...
...You talk to his rabbi, to others in his Jewish club, to B'nai B'rith...
...He told me he was interested in animal shelter, and you know, I felt badly when I left, about how many dogs would not be taken care of because I'd reached him...
...We're a long way from there, but that's the direction...
...The product is huge...
...But beyond tz'dakah, our tradition includes the concept of ma'asar, of tithing...
...There are some who will give out of pride...
...There are formulas related to income, to the nature of one's work, to the solidity of one's means...
...In a recent one, I saw a man and wife, and I think they used to give two or three thousand dollars...
...Her husband used to give $50 thousand, and she used to give two thousand...
...If you say, as we used to, "We leave it to your good heart...
...And he did...
...and you mention a sum of money...
...I did my homework, so I helped him enter the category...
...Do you want cash or a check...
...Then, you must present your case...
...Act one...
...He was a good giver...
...The lowest kind—if you can call it low—is the n'davah...
...Before you can sell anything, you must sell yourself...
...Or, "For the sake of Jewish survival—your children, my children—you need to ask your accountant...
...One person has a transmitter, the other has a radio...
...Is he involved with education...
...And she wore torn tennis shoes...
...Or he says, "Look, don't talk to me about it...
...There is a moment when, unless you begin the final act, which is called closing, you lose...
...That's really why I was brought here, to help find those who do not give, to find out why they don't, to develop a way of reaching them...
...You must establish credibility, open the lines of communication, get attention and interest...
...You have to be able to look at things from your prospect's point of view...
...His achievements are legend, and a prospect who is asked to meet with him is right to feel flattered...
...I said, "Oh, no, I won't take it...
...I might ask, "Were your parents helped by HIAS...
...What are you selling, really, in Jewish life...
...The lawyer said, "You're absolutely right...
...So I spoke Roumanian to her...
...Your prospect has just joined the Jewish mainstream, and in a meaningful way...
...Empathy—always sit on the other side...
...You can ask the first for ten percent, or even more...
...you've got to play social geography...
...So you have to find her rabbi, or her golf partner, or her closest friend...
...It is a Jewish encounter...
...So you present your case, and the most important part of the case is n'shamah, soul...
...Why, in Jewish life, must UJA play first violin...
...everyone wants to make a gift he can feel good about, proud of—and now you've destroyed him...
...We met, and we had an encounter...
...For example, the man who is now the chairman of the New York cabinet is not a big giver, but he is a good man...
...That's a continuing commitment, so it's more serious...
...And then you must switch the Judaism from her to him...
...Act three...
...My mother used to teach me that if I pass a poor man on a Friday afternoon, I must give him a penny...
...He gave $50 thousand where nobody else gave $10 thousand...
...Now, in my closing, I have a method I believe in...
...And I know that very few solicitors ask the five questions...
...Or, "I have a partner, a brother...
...And the signatures on checks...
...She learned Roumanian from him...
...And more than that...
...A good solicitation changes not only a way of giving, but also a way of living, of relating to Jewish life...
...The third aspect is to be prepared with answers to difficult questions...
...You need to know his level of Jewish consciousness, and his level of Jewish activity...
...And all the doctors know who's who...
...My wife takes care of all these things...
...To some, debt...
...The greatest danger is with the solicitor who is so committed that he names all 50 organizations in America, and all the needs in Israel—all the statistics...
...Perhaps a person will give up a summer vacation, and that is a relative sacrifice...
...He's stronger than you are—it's his decision...
...I think she gave UJA $50 a year...
...She gives $500 dollars a year...
...I saw a young lawyer, who gives three or four thousand dollars a year—10 percent of his income— solicit a lawyer who makes three or four hundred thousand dollars, and that means that the old stereotypes are being broken...
...If you talk to two other shoe store owners in the same city, they'll tell you...
...The fact is that we almost never ask a person to hurt himself, to change his standard of living...
...But I believe that the community is clever enough to deal with this problem...
...And I am glad, because if he hadn't brought it up, I wouldn't know his view...
...He might have given five or six hundred thousand dollars, but the shock might have been too much—if I had asked for that much—we might have lost him...
...Here we're talking about something that presumes a concept of community, about doing your fair share to support the institutions of the community...
...One of the worst problems we have is that there's often no relationship between a person's means and his awareness of those means...
...Now, unless you know the facts and figures, you will fail...
...You present a case, and he gives money...
...The prospect can go on talking...
...People are beginning to be able to judge not by the absolute sum of money, as they may once have done, but by the act, the relative size of the gift...
...The second thing you must know is as much as you can about your prospect's Jewish commitment...
...The last part of the homework is to find out who has influence on your prospect, because that is the key to getting an appointment...
...he told me what he would say to me, and I said, "Consider it done...
...He said, "You won't take $100 thousand dollars...
...Some people speak of sacrificial giving, but I don't use the word "sacrifice...
...Does he give to other causes...
...You ask about his wife, and his children, and by the end of the questions, the prospect brings out all the material you couldn't get in your homework...
...Nonsense...
...They call it insurance...
...But she is insecure...
...There is still a danger...
...And he stopped at $50 thousand...
...It is the only structure in America that can reach hundreds of thousands of Jews each year...
...And if he says, "You know, the tragedy is that my children don't care," then you know that he does...
...There are three kinds of doctors—those who make under $50 thousand, and those who make under $100 thousand, and those who make under $250 thousand...
...Let's cut it off here—we'll meet again—and let's make the decision...
...her husband was Roumanian...
...And even when there is no record, it's not so bad...
...There are very few Jews in America who don't have a Brooklyn or a Bronx in common, or a high school or college...
...Or, "You people spend too much on travel, with all those Israelis running around...
...Why are you bringing up the immigrant problem again...
...Some give out of a concept that American Jews have taught me...
...In any human relations process, the first two or three minutes will decide whether or not anything else will happen...
...And when he does, I usually respond by saying, "I'm so glad you mentioned that...
...I have solicited men whose wives fear that their bequests will be given away, and men whose wives have been wonderfully helpful...
...Here, a man who is deeply committed to the cause faces another man who is not yet committed, or not as committed...
...But ma'asar assumes a community whose members don't even have to be asked...
...Don't worry," they'll say, "I'll come to the meeting," or "I'll send my gift...
...Now, of course there are times when I've spoken to someone and said, "People like you, who make $50 thousand, don't tax themselves for less than $3500...
...But he may be listening to music while you talk words...
...If a man is ill, you're committed to helping him while he can't work...
...Mis-asking...
...Is he a philanthropic man...
...He gave the local university a million dollars...
...But by and large, giving—certainly in the upper brackets—is calculated in terms of what the person can afford in relation to his taxes...
...I said, "I've heard about your last three shows, and if they produced only this much, unless your money is being completely mismanaged—and if you'd like, I can help you with a manager...
...Why should I pay for them...
...Austria...
...Often, I've been talking to a really fine person, and we've both enjoyed our talk very much, we feel close...
...When you ask a person for $10 thousand, a person who used to give $500, and he says, "Where do I sign...
...If, when he was alive, he had let her run the business, he would have made even more money...
...Or, "I've been to Russia, and I spoke to Jews, and they don't want to leave...
...I'll go out for five minutes, and you can discuss it...
...And there are some who will tell me, "I don't want my children to ask, 'What did you do?' I want to do...
...The Jewish blind in New York...
...Does his wife belong to Hadas-sah...
...It deals with nothing less than Jewish survival...
...The man said, "It's absurd...
...Or, if the man gets up and says, "I'm sorry, but I'm not in that category," you've over-asked, and you've lost...
...After the encounter is finished comes the part which we don't do enough, and that is follow-up...
...On the other hand, I know a man who visited his lawyer, who was quite wealthy...
...This is private, and secret...
...And often you get very close, you become friends, because each one of us is vulnerable, somewhere...
...And I say, "I'm so happy you brought it up...
...Most people won't want to face you one-to-one...
...You reach a point of diminishing return...
...That is why the solicitation process is so important, and that is why it is so complicated...
...That's what empathy can do...
...I put my hand on his, and say, "Michael, I would love to talk with you, and I think we should meet sometime...
...Change places with me...
...Is he a highly emotional person...
...Nesher, I like what you do, and I think you could do what I do...
...As in any sales process, the more you know about your customer beforehand, the better your chance to make a sale...
...Tz'dakah leaves it up to the individual and his sense of fairness, and it's a wonderful thing...
...And that's because unless you mention a specific sum of money, it doesn't happen...
...Such as: "Congress has just allocated $50 million for immigrant housing in Israel...
...But don't fight him...
...I make $200 thousand a year and my gift is $25 thousand...
...And the critical element is to shift from a campaign that is based mainly on meetings, on major events where the focal point is a speaker, and where group pressure is expected to do the job, to a face-to-face encounter...
...Has he been to Israel a few times...
...There is no single formula any more...
...And now you enter into the next stage, which is called overcoming objections...
...we can trust you," there is no human being who will tax himself correctly, not yet...
...And it's he who finally says, "Didn't you come here to ask me for money...
...And then, if you are extremely unlucky, his secretary has a standing order to buzz him after ten minutes and announce that his next appointment is waiting...
...I had a wonderful encounter with the comedian who played the fiddle—Jack Benny...
...We had a wonderful encounter...
...Make the deal—and close it...
...And we reach the crucial time for feedback...
...The crucial moment in the solicitation is setting up the appointment...
...Where are your parents from...
...For example, I asked a man, a performer, for a sum, and he said, "Oh, thank you for the compliment, but I'm not in this category...
...I had such a case once...
...For example, one of my greatest problems is to arrange an appointment with a widow...
...To some, you are selling solidarity...
...Let's say you want to talk to the owner of a shoe store...
...More homework...
...You can cover it all in five questions...
...Then you have to know his level of Jewish action...
...Without the preparation, the face-to-face solicitation is a waste...
...And from that point it's easy...
...No, the accountant does what he says...
...Or if a man who has a daughter can't provide a dowry, trumah is called for...
...Empathy...
...I did some research on her...
...It's far too much...
...Look directly into his eyes, and put your soul into the words you speak...
...And it is a happening, an educational process that creates a change in behavior...
...Act two...
...So, to set up the appointment you want to try to find somebody to whom the prospect can't say no...
...Incorrectly, a solicitor may respond to a statement by saying, "How can you say such a thing...
...So you ask, "Jack, would you ask your accountant if you were going to buy or sell something for 10 thousand dollars...
...You must multiply me by ten...
...And I clutch his hand, and look into his eyes, and focus on him...
...And he says yes...
...All I have to say is that my son is on the Golan Heights...
...I always sit very close, physically...
...From a tax standpoint, $100 thousand is a possible sum of money, which will cost about 30 cents on the dollar...
...It isn't a big meeting, where he gets glory...
...you over-shmooze, oversell, over-talk...
...A solicitor, therefore, must bring infectious enthusiasm to each encounter...
...You come in, and he sits in a nice chair which turns in all directions, and you sit across from him, and he has a telephone with 30 buttons, and pictures of his wife and three children, and behind him is a wall of plaques—a great man— marvelous awards—and you you've lost, just situationally...
...Or, "I was against the Vietnam War, and as long as Israel is militaristic, I won't touch it...
...The next highest stage is trumah, assistance, subsidy...
...Then you must apologize...
...And there's a difference in the fair share of people in risk industries and those in solid industries...
...Before it ended, I said, "Look, don't make your decision now...
...And this was the original Mission Impossible...
...He can't make it, because he has oversold...
...Many solicitations go on in offices, and it's wrong...
...There is somebody who is waiting for that decision...
...It depends on volunteers...
...In his business, do you think he asks his wife about 10 thousand dollars...
...Let's say you have asked for $10 thousand, which means he makes, say $120 thousand a year...
...But that's what insurance is...
...A prospect might say, "I have the money, but my priorities are different...
...A person will say, "I have the money, but I can't part with it...
...But there's a decision to be made now...
...My recommendation is to try to meet the prospect, man or woman, on completely neutral territory...
...As an Israeli, I find America a wonderful country for this purpose...
...Invite him to meetings, to encounters...
...I said, "Of course...
...Another question—in the solicitation of a married man—with wife, or without wife...
...He gave me $150 thousand, and he ended up saying, "You know, Dr...
...Poland...
...And you must say, "Friend, don't you think there must be a territory in which this university can exist before there can be a university...
...Unless you believe in it, don't solicit...
...And I think the fact that the children saw this was even more important than the money he gave...
...Another danger is lack of enthusiasm...
...He might say, "I want to talk to my accountant...
...The old concept that only the people who give the most money can work on the campaign is falling off...
...When survival was at stake, ma'asar was called for...
...For example, you must know that UJA is the organization that spends the lowest percentage on overhead—eight to ten percent—of any organization in the world...
...Now, I know widows who run their businesses better than their husbands did...
...He feels right, I feel right, and we take it from there...
...There's a new sickness, which we might call "psychological poverty...
...It depends...
...Give him a job...
...Encore...
...And I might say, "Wouldn't your daddy be proud if he knew that his son made it possible for HIAS to help someone else...
...I normally ask for three things...
...Take the leaders, and the givers, and teach them, train them...
...Under what circumstances...
...And that's how you find out something about his belonging, and that's a base to start from...
...Herewith, his reflections: Prologue Beyond Tz'dakah...
...And I hear security in their voices, the security that says, "I know I'll never need it...
...But with an abstract product, you are dealing in pure psychological motives...
...And you are from Brooklyn...
...They want America to be the country where Jews who are in trouble know they can be helped by Jews...
...You must use tax information, be a bit of a tax expert...
...Or his accountant...
...There is an increasing respect for work...
...Should you see a man in his office...
...If the man is president of a company, there is somewhere a list of presidents of companies, and how much they earn...
...But she lived like a hermit, and it was very difficult to see her...
...Everybody is written up somewhere...
...Or, "I want to talk to my wife...
...Where should you see a prospect...
...it carries an obligation with it...
...You complete your presentation by saying, "We can do this only if people do their fair share...
...They were about to do it when he said, "Would you permit our children to be present, so they can see a great Jewish act being committed...
...The important point is that you must have an idea of the person's financial condition, and you can easily get such an idea without doing anything underhanded, without violating a person's privacy...
...In the encounter, do you start at the kindergarten level, or at the high school level...
...Half the rich people in this country—say, those with incomes of over $100,000 a year— don't give at all, and that means that if the UJA raises $400 million today, we really should be raising between $800 and $900 million...
...So you've lost both ways: he makes much more, but won't consider a gift of someone who makes much less...
...It is training not only in the techniques of fund raising, but in how to argue for Jewish survival, how to present Israel's centrality in Jewish life, how to present the importance of local Jewish institutions...
...And the only thing that will make this meeting successful is if you would stand up and say, 'I will go from $60 thousand to $100 thousand.' I don't need your $40 thousand...
...And sometimes I'm asked, "Listen, if I don't give you the money, will you let go of my hand...
...There should be just the two of you, alone, no disturbances...
...As for solicitations, I've learned some interesting lessons...
...So there's a real job to do here, but to do it, you've got to get this insecure person to agree to meet with you...
...The first key element in a successful encounter is homework...
...Just as a purchase is made in a store, he must ask, "Do you wrap it and send it, or do I take it home with me...
...When...
...And he's responded, "First of all, I make $100 thousand, and second of all, I would never give you $3500...
...You must win him over...
...He wept, spoke Yiddish...
...And it happens...
...Or, "Why should I give my money to a Jewish hospital to treat non-Jewish patients...
...Then we come to tz'dakah— from the word tzedek, justice...
...The Drama Encounter...
...I say, come and visit Israel...
...Your name is Bernstein...
...You can't ask the second for that much...
...I find there is reluctance in this country to face-to-face encounters...
...Theoretically, this seems to be a sales process, where you could use normal sales psychology...
...He decides your Jewish morality...
...And he has to be helped to get rid of his inhibitions...
...Act five...
...It's too much...
...Here's a woman who had a husband, total security, never had to think about money, and now she has all the money and is on her own...
...Last month, moment asked Nesher to tell us how it's done...
...Extend an invitation to lunch, or breakfast or dinner...
...It is forbidden that you should come back next year just to ask for money...
...So you have various kinds of motivations, which is why it is important to find a hook in his soul on which you can hang your solicitation...
...And it may end up that her closest friend is the local campaign chairman, who just doesn't want to discuss money with her...
...Now comes the process of encounter...
...And you are finished...
...There used to be a theory that only women can solicit women, and only men can solicit men...
...There was a woman, a widow, 81 years old...
...And I believe this is its future...
...Many solicitors fail when they say, "You must do more for Israel—you only gave a thousand dollars...
...he's psychologically poor...
...So there are no secrets, really...
...And the great secret of success is to find a common denominator...
...Or of the home for the aged...
...As an Israeli, it isn't so important for me to have a common base...
...There's more...
...In the meantime, there are good ways to raise money, and bad ways...
...You are a bright man, and I enjoy talking with you...
...They want to be in the mainstream of history...
...Where...
...One of the most successful solicitations I ever did was in California...
...Why is this the top priority...
...When I met her, she had a safety pin in her clothes instead of a button...
...Of which Bernsteins are you...
...The problem is how to get your prospect on your wave length...
...But if you would do it, it would change my meeting...
...Here, too, there are dangers...
...Because such an encounter means it's serious...
...Which also means, don't solicit unless you give yourself, but that's understood...
...There are many objections to giving that kind of money...
...You ask one proportion of a man who makes $150,000 a year, another from one who makes $25,000...
...He gave 100 thousand dollars...
...In the Jewish tradition, we have several kinds of philanthropy...
...And I'm almost afraid to say that...
...What must you know...
...And then the exchange of views begins...
...How Much...
...Then, I say, you must give me at least ten solicitations this year...
...then you've failed, because he really could have given much more...
...Does he speak about Israel's education problems...
...We should do much more of this...
...but now she's got to be giving the $50...
...But, as a prospect once told me, "You are selling a product to a man who doesn't want it, and at the highest possible price...
...Is he on the board of the local federation...
...Now, I knew that the decision had been made, but I wanted to give the children the privilege to be part of the decision-making process...
...But you must narrow it down to your prospect, to the things that interest him...
...The more you know before you see him, the better your chances to change his behavior...
...I'll give you an example...
...That's what I do, and others like me...
...And that is a problem, because you are selling something abstract...
...Now, let us suppose that all goes well...
...Jewishly and humanely, that kind of thing matters...
...I found out that her late husband owned a great deal of real estate...
...Most important, Nesher's approach to solicitation is spreading and, while his "trainees" may lack his special style, they approach their work with new sophistication and with new understanding...
...Now, how do we move the Jewish community from so-called normal philanthropy to a process of self-taxation...
...Then I began to ask about her husband...
...And the moment you have to apologize, you've lost...
...Here I am giving as much as you give, and I make only 20 percent of what you make...
...And the prospect sits back and smiles, "I give to the museum in Jerusalem, to this or that university...
...Act four...
...So you must have a sum in mind, and that means you must know something of the person's financial condition...
...The fact is I don't really like to talk about money...
...How would you convince me...
...The moment the prospect doesn't react, you have failed...
...And never ask only for money...
...Where in Brooklyn...
...And this is very, very simple...
...Widows are so often insecure people...
...Act one is the opening...
...I heard that most of it never reaches Israel...
...And it was with this concept that I came to the United States as a consultant to UJA...
...There are two ways to botch a solicitation, and I've done both...
...Ten thousand dollars...
...they know what their obligation is...
...Most important, you must know how much to ask for...
...Again, this calls for advance information...
...There would be no mystique if we depended solely on being rational...
...I do many solicitations at home...
...A doctor...
...This is where it counts...
...I have an idea for you...
...Homework...
...You won't be able to present it unless you've seen it...
...But after the first few minutes, when credibility is established, the most important aspect of the encounter is questioning, getting your prospect to come out, to talk about his background...
...Sometimes, for example, a person will be giving more to an Israeli university than he does to insure Israel's basic survival...
...Or, "Doesn't too much money stay here for expenses...
...To some, guilt...
...The whole encounter process is a drama in five acts...
...There was an old man, in his eighties, in upstate New York...
...So I said to him, "I know I have no chance, but you are a great man...
...Is he concerned about the earthquake in Roumania...
...In the whole process, the problem of empathy is also very important...
...I've have had some interesting cases...
...The educational process in UJA gives it a completely new dimension in Jewish life...
...You must do all your homework...
...Then comes the appointment, which brings another series of questions...
...There are three aspects of presenting the case, or selling the product...
...I wanted a hundred thousand...
...Seventy-five percent of the thing is decided before you even meet...
...During World War I, she was in France...
...Your job may end up being to get him to shift his priorities...
...they touch people in a good and real way...
...I think that what UJA has started recently, and is doing pretty well, is the whole educational process...
...That's a n'davah, a handout...
...Then come the phone calls...
...Is he interested in activities with a Jewish orientation, or with a specifically Israeli orientation...
...And he said, "Yes, I will give you $100 thousand, but only if you announce it...
...Who...
...You must know that the housing budget in Israel is $300 million...
...You're giving far too much...
...And the answers are very simple...
...I said, "You come to the meeting and do it...
...She's still giving the two...
...And then, you must pay your own self-tax...
...Epilogue...
...His money is new, and he's not used to having it...
...She gave cash, on the spot, $100 thousand...
...There was once a fascinating encounter—I even got a plaque for this one...
...it depends...
...What must I do...
...My greatest failure was a famous Hollywood star...
...That's because you've hurt him...
...And people like you...
...Today, I think there is some concern in the community about money being the only measure of loyalty...
...I made the appointment through her rabbi...
...What kind of a Jew is he...
...The next day, his agent called and cancelled it...
...He's not a miser...
Vol. 2 • June 1977 • No. 8
