ADULT BAR MITZVAH
Siegel, Richard
ADULT BAR MITZVAH Richard Siegel The advent of a new, full-fledged adult is a joyous occasion for the Jewish community, and for the person-become-adult and his family, a significant life moment, a...
...Once again, there are numerous possibilities...
...Timing 4. When you feel ready, you can select the occasion for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration...
...Where today Jewish education commonly goes downhill from the time of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah (if that time can be thought a height...
...HOW TO BEGIN A Teacher 1. "Rabban Gamliel said, 'Provide yourself a teacher,' " (Ethics of the Fathers, 1:16...
...Over the past several hundred years, the passage into adulthood has given rise to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration, a day when the new member of the community publicly assumes adult responsibilities and family and friends gather to kvell, to bestow good wishes and blessings...
...You may want to have it on the Shabbat near your Hebrew birthday or on a holiday which has particular meaning for you...
...The Celebration 5. Traditionally, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is called up to the Torah for the Maftir aliyah and then chants the Prophetic (Haftarah) reading...
...And that purpose serves both the community and the individual, for both are enriched by the recurrence of dedication...
...If you want to learn the Friday night home rituals, spend several Shabbatot with this person, ask questions, inquire into details...
...Given that many adult Jews have come to feel unsatisfied with their original Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience, the idea might well have wide appeal...
...This is where the teacher can be especially helpful as a model...
...Since there are no standard formulae, you can plan your own part in the service...
...Some people may not want a formal ceremony or any ceremony at all...
...several other Hillel Foundations have begun to "offer" this new service, and a scattering of congregations around the country are now trying out the idea...
...The youngster is prepared for the one-time event, not for the continuing status...
...The study and preparation may itself be an adequate response to psychological needs...
...Bar and Bat Mitzvah, lately misconstrued, are something one is, not something one has...
...Study_ 2. Together with your teacher, you should establish a basic course of study...
...Depending on your learning and desire, this can be expanded to include reading the Torah portion (either in full or in part) or even to leading part or all of the service...
...You will have much to discuss, learn, question, argue about...
...in either case, it is a good idea to keep the celebration low-key, avoiding the conventional excesses...
...Try not to simply imitate someone else's procedures, although this may be most comfortable in the beginning...
...The convert is to be instructed in some of the difficult and some of the easy mitzvot (commandments...
...accordingly, some notes on how one may proceed in this still new territory are in order...
...And who can even predict the benefits that would accrue to the community were large numbers of its members to go through periodic re-education and study programs...
...And so it is not surprising that considerable confusion and distress is often encountered among those adult Jews who, for whatever reason, became 12-plus (girls) or 13-plus (boys) without public notice, without formal ceremony...
...The central achievement is the integration of Jewish learning and personal life...
...For their desire for public confirmation does not stem entirely, or always, from ignorance but from need, the need for a public act of dedication, of consecration...
...Needs vary, of course, but a basic introduction should include at least an overview of Jewish history, religion and culture, an understanding of Shabbat and the festivals, familiarity with the liturgy (especially for the Shabbat), some Hebrew, cantillation, and, perhaps, an in-depth study of some aspect of Jewish thought, a personality or a text...
...The same principles apply for whatever mitzvot you choose to perform...
...You need not master vast amounts of material but you do have the chance to do what young children often cannot, to make the public ceremony a source of private pride in your own achievement...
...Jew at the ages 26, 39, 52, 65, 78 . . . ." The end result would be "a knowledgeable and practicing adult Jewish citizenry...
...A well-educated lay person, a nearby Hillel director, a Jewish educator — any of these will do, and all will almost surely be willing to extend the requested hand...
...to become This column derives its title - and its editor - from the jewish catalog, the best-selling guide to Jewish living which was published by the Jewish Publication Society...
...Rabbinic oversight is not necessary, although a local rabbi with whom you have, or feel you can establish, good rapport is an obvious choice...
...Most, however, will want to signify the process through some form of celebration...
...ADULT BAR MITZVAH Richard Siegel The advent of a new, full-fledged adult is a joyous occasion for the Jewish community, and for the person-become-adult and his family, a significant life moment, a cause for celebration...
...This is a moment to be sacralized, not trivialized...
...These should be determined in consultation with your teacher and based on your particular religious orientation...
...If you want a quiet ceremony you may wish to have it on a Monday or Thursday (the days on which the Torah is read...
...And one is a Bar/Bat Mitzvah by sole virtue of age, in exactly the same manner in which one attains legal majority, at age 18 or 21, in secular society...
...Rabbi Axelrad has made a potentially revolutionary suggestion: the reconsecration of all Jews at 13 -year intervals...
...One of the early innovators, Rabbi Albert Axelrad, Hillel Director at Brandeis University, has been assisting people with "Belated Bar/Bat Mitzvah" for the past five years...
...This is perhaps the single most important piece of advice...
...This can be based either on a topic of special interest or on an insight into the particular Torah portion being read...
...You may choose to invite just close friends and relatives, or the entire community...
...The lack of adolescent ceremony comes to be seen as an exclusion...
...they imagine incorrectly that they are not B'nei/B'not Mitzvah...
...The public ceremony is not, however, a religious requirement...
...Yet in modern Jewish life, the celebration itself has overshadowed that which it is meant to represent — full adult rights and responsibilities...
...As Rabbi Axelrad points out, "Bar/Bat Mitzvah bet, gim-mel, etc...
...Doing 3. Since the "need" for an adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony derives, most often, from a felt need for public affirmation, the process of preparation can, in some respects, be compared to the preparation for conversion...
...It would be helpful to visit other homes as well, to gain a feeling for the range of possibilities available for these rituals...
...Again, it is impossible (and unnecessary) to do everything, but it is important to begin, to actualize some aspects of Jewish commitment...
...And were that to happen, wecould put an end to such perverse phrases as "I was bar mitzvah-ed," or "I am going to so-and-so's bar mitzvah," remembering instead that a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a person, not an occasion...
...In a voluntary community such as our own, public acts of identification have a purpose and a potential impact quite different from their role in more organic Jewish communities...
...In either case, it provides the opportunity both to demonstrate a level of learning and to contribute knowledge or insight to the community, a beautiful combination...
...Remember that once you've waited this long, you can afford the luxury of postponement until you are "ready" — that is, until you have readied yourself...
...And a teacher who is also a chaver, a companion, can make the process still more fulfilling and satisfying...
...more likely, a small bump), Jewish education could, if the proposal were accepted, become a life-long experience in growth...
...A wonderful old tradition, which has been bastardized as the Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech, is for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah to deliver a dvar torah, a comment on Torah (Torah here meaning not just the Five Books of Moses but all of Jewish teachings...
...Some good starting places would be to learn how to do Shabbat, or kashrut, or tz'dakah (charity), or t'fillah (prayer), or the holidays...
...Accordingly, some people have lately begun to experiment with adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremonies...
...The phenomenon appears to be spreading...
...a Jew again, there must now be an inclusive act, an initiation...
...Then begin to develop a style of your own, using what you have learned, what you have seen, and what you yourself wish to bring to the moment...
...Nor is it always enough to explain that they can just pick up from wherever they left off, that the "official" ceremony merely confirms, does not create, a biological fact...
...Some of these feel embarrassed or deficient because they did not go through the motions at the appointed age...
...would . . . occur in the life-cycle of the...
Vol. 1 • October 1975 • No. 4
