THE LAST WORD: Reboot
Redmond, Mark
REBOOT Mark Redmond It is Fernando again. "Are the computers fixed yet, mis-ter? Can we get onto the In-ternet now?" Fernando is twelve years old, one of thirty-four young people mandated by...
...This is my third time at the center within the last ten days, trying to fix the computers...
...I can imagine that when staff are out of sight, he is eas-ily scapegoated by his peers...
...He rushes back and when he sees the two screens, he is overjoyed...
...I'm not even a computer specialist...
...And with that remark any lingering resentment about my job, my responsi-bilities, and my status burns away...
...he some-times hears voices...
...And I think about something Saint Francis de Sales wrote: "Do not bother yourself about whether or not what God asks of you is important and grand...
...He does not know his biological father, and lives alone with his stepfather, an immigrant from the Dominican Republic...
...Thank you mister, thank you...
...I turn to the other computer, duplicate the ritu-al, and it too connects...
...One of them is now gov-ernor of the state...
...calling our Internet provider to find out if the prob-lem is at their end, not ours...
...We will do our best to help Fernando...
...I tell him no, and keep my simmering anger in check...
...Yo, Fer-nando, take a look at this...
...Fernando (not his real name) returns...
...He seats him-self at one of the terminals and starts clicking away...
...I can hardly be-lieve it...
...No need to take it out on him...
...I am the associate executive director of the nonprofit organization that oversees the center and five other programs for at-risk youths...
...I also oversee the finance department of the agency and serve on a statewide committee representing the needs and interests of low-income chil-dren and families...
...I mean lit-erally overjoyed...
...I can't believe I'm stuck doing this," I whisper to myself...
...I think of people I gradu-ated with from college, and of the posi-tions they now hold in law, medicine, and business...
...A bead of sweat rolls down my brow, for it is hot in the center today, and resentment starts to grow...
...Fernando leaves the room when I tell him the computers are still not operat-ing, but a few minutes later I click the Outlook Express icon, hear a dial tone, hold my breath as "Verifying username and password" pops up on the screen, and, yes, finally, there it is: the home-page for Microsoft Network...
...She says no, but that he is unable to read...
...I begin packing up, on to my next project within another part of our organization, when Fernando takes a break from the screen, turns to me, and says, "You're a kind man...
...Fixing malfunction-ing computers was not in my job description when I joined this organi-zation, but without the funds to hire a management-information-services per-son, I am left to do it...
...I have a mas-ter's degree...I should be an executive director by now...I should be working at a place where I could delegate this to somebody...
...And each time Fernando greets me with the same question: "Are they fixed yet...
...He is overweight, looks younger than he is, and does not interact well with others...
...Far from it...
...Unlike most of the kids in this program, he was not arrest-ed and is not on probation or parole...
...Fernando is twelve years old, one of thirty-four young people mandated by Juvenile Court to attend our afterschool center in Stam-ford, Connecticut...
...I know that if I don't repair them, no one else will, and that the kids will not have access to the Internet, which we believe is necessary for them to do well in school...
...He and his peers come to the center for counseling, tutoring, mentoring, anger management classes, and to participate in adult-supervised activities and recreation...
...trying to get past a pass-word that a former counselor at the cen-ter installed a long time ago...
...But repair-ing two computers, so a boy who recently lost his mother and is struggling in a new country can have a little enjoyment and perhaps even learn to read-that means a lot...
...My exper-tise is securing grants for new and ex-isting programs...
...His stepfather re-ferred him to our program because Fer-nando had been staying out late at nights and the stepfather was worried Fernando might start using drugs...
...His mother died a year ago, and he has been having a hard time ever since...
...he keeps repeating, shak-ing my hand continuously...
...Position and rank within an or-ganization mean very little...
...Fixed yet...
...So here I am again: downloading an antivirus program, which keeps calling for a reboot disk which no one at the center can find...
...Whether your actions are insignificant or not does not matter, if they are God's will...
...And it becomes very clear to me that while it is fine to have career goals and to as-pire to certain things in life, it is infi-nitely more important to be attentive to the people and the work right in front of me...
...I ask his caseworker if Fernando is develop-mentally disabled...
...I poke my head out of the computer room and call for Fernando...
Vol. 129 • April 2002 • No. 8
