Special delivery
Godfrey, Aaron W.
THE LAST WORD SPECIAL DELIVERY Aaron W. Godfrey For the last several years, my wife and I have led a weekly Communion service at the local nursing home. It makes me very uncomfortable, as it...
...We fear death because we do not know exactly what comes next...
...Over the years, I have watched people at the home wither, shrink, and fade away unnoticed, until I realized they had not been at the service for weeks...
...There are forty regulars, about half of whom know what is going on...
...We backed into doing it quite by accident...
...It may account for why I have seen so few visitors at the nursing home, and why the forced jollity of Christmas and other holidays is so heartbreaking...
...I was in my early twenties, unprepared to deal with sickness and death, and had not yet made the connection between death and resurrection-or death as change rather than destruction...
...Further, there are always intangible rewards once I get there...
...After reciting the Our Father, we share the greeting and peace...
...We next call to mind our sins, listen to the scriptural readings of the day, and try to get all of the words of the psalm response...
...It delivers the assurance that we, too, will be given the grace to gain eternal life, and that we should question neither the justice nor the mercy of God...
...Then I would keep wondering about them (each with a history I would never know) and their nearly anonymous deaths, known only to the staff and the next of kin on the intake roster...
...Sometimes they cry out in pain, prayer, or supplication...
...The service begins with: "The blessing of our Lord Jesus be on you and on this dwelling place...
...Soon after we had completed training as Eucharistic ministers, there was a need and, not quite knowing what to expect, we volunteered...
...Aaron W. Godfrey lectures in the Department of European Languages at SUNY Stony Brook.NY Stony Brook...
...It was not my uncle-at least the one I remembered-and I never went to visit him again, though he died three months later...
...I have always been ashamed of my cowardice...
...I know it instinctively, and often feel a sense of peace when people receive Communion...
...They offer comforting words as well as the proverbial cup of water...
...My wife and I have experienced instances of light, grace, and even heroism...
...It is much harder than working with the young...
...Almost all are in wheelchairs or on pallets...
...There are days I resist going to the home, hoping for some cosmic excuse to get me off the hook, but I haven't missed yet...
...Still hope remains: hope, the virtue so little invoked but so necessary for our sanity and ultimate salvation...
...It makes me very uncomfortable, as it always brings me too close to my own mortality...
...For believers, the four "last things"-death, judgment, heaven, and hell-are frightening, and the physical and the mental decline of the elderly are uncomfortable reminders of these...
...Growing old and slowing down is a part of life...
...The aides, who are the age of the residents' grandchildren-or younger- call the patients by their first names...
...He was always cheerful and upbeat, helping the staff with her care...
...And there are always a few elderly women, sound of mind but with limited mobility, who look after the other less competent patients...
...He had been the most energetic and admired of my mother's brothers...
...An elderly man, himself in good condition, lived in the home for almost a year with his wife, wasted by Alzheimer's...
...I don't know whether this is comforting or part of some final indignity...
...I admire those who work with the elderly and continue to remain gentle...
...Oh, she died," is the usual reply, given almost casually, as if that were the way the story had to end...
...Some do not respond at all...
...One woman with emphysema entered the home to spare her children the care and the anxiety of her illness...
...With a shock, I remember visiting my uncle many years ago at Saint Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx for people with terminal illnesses...
...The aides are gentle and display surprising patience...
...Some hold my hand for a long time-as if clinging to their own humanity...
...Watching and fearing the almost anonymous descent to death is much more difficult...
...With the young there is always the hope of growth and change...
...The others are sedated or don't seem sure where they are...
...Frequently, bodily and intellectual functions shut down...
...Now his powerful body was wasted by sickness and he did not know me...
...But the elderly threaten us with what we might become, and it is frightening...
...Someone seems especially glad to see me, or I have a sense the service has made a measurable difference in someone's day...
...The two nursing aides, my wife, and I are the only ones who seem whole in mind and body...
...Others look away, as if ashamed of how they have failed and what they have become...
Vol. 129 • December 2002 • No. 21
