Watch out for cannonballs
Doyle, Brian
THE LAST WORD WATCH OUT FOR CANNOHBALLS Brian Doyle Minutes: The Presidential Advisory Committee on the Catholic Character of the College Meeting #2 Move that we approve the...
...Semicolon...
...Move that we establish an Endowed Professorship of Catholic Character...
...Or a crucifix in every classroom...
...Or whether all public relations photos have a priest in them somewhere, chatting cheerfully with students of various colors and heights...
...Or whether all forums and symposia and such should start with a prayer...
...You can't test for it, but its absence is noticeable...
...Or whether Cardinal Ratzinger wants to be chancellor of the world's Catholic colleges...
...How about Peter Maurin...
...And the cannonball...
...that attempts to measure and quantify the Catholic character of the college are as entertaining and fruitless as measuring the depth of personal character...
...Or the word hermeneutics...
...Agree...
...THE LAST WORD WATCH OUT FOR CANNOHBALLS Brian Doyle Minutes: The Presidential Advisory Committee on the Catholic Character of the College Meeting #2 Move that we approve the minutes from last time...
...Move that we have a Catholic character page on the Web site...
...Isn't Catholic character one of those things you know if you see it...
...Or whether Jesuit colleges are Catholic...
...Hey, why don't we have a statue of Catholic Character...
...The last meeting was a freaking bloodbath, it went on for hours...
...He was a Catholic character...
...Or having the local bishop sit on the stage at graduation...
...Brian Doyle is the editor of Portland Magazine at the University of Portland, in Oregon...
...And a statue of Christ on the quad...
...Or whether all college publications should carry some mention of Catholicity...
...Agree...
...I can't believe you people don't want to put up a statue of Peter Maurin...
...Or quietly asking faculty and staff candidates about their faith lives...
...that an institution's Catholic character, like personal substance, is best measured by act and ambiance...
...And Saint Ignatius...
...that the college's Catholic character is at once both bone-deep and ephemeral, and thus wonderful, invigorating, and puzzling...
...It's an operation having something to do with part of the small colon...
...Move that we say we're really, really Catholic, and then refer all questions to campus ministry...
...Or a Catholic studies institute...
...Move that we burn the minutes from last time...
...Call campus ministry...
...What, like a rash...
...Or sparing no effort to recruit kids from Catholic high schools...
...Agree...
...Or whether the president should always be a priest or nun or religious brother...
...Look, folks, we have to turn in a report to the president...
...Or being able to use the words Jesus, Christ, God, Virgin Mary, saints, prayer, spirituality, and grace in conversations without drawing incredulous looks or nervous laughter...
...Or if a chapel on campus means you're Catholic...
...Agree...
...Or offering a daily Mass somewhere on campus...
...Or another hour's discussion of Ex corde ecclesiae...
...What does hermeneutics mean, anyway...
...Or whether Ted Hesburgh is a saint who saved the American Catholic university from slow choking by economic forces and reinvented it as a vigorous modern entity, or a smarmy arrogant dog who let liberal secularists take over the cathedral...
...What are we going to say...
...Did you know that cannonball just missed...
...It's a town in California...
...Or baptismal certificates on the walls of offices...
...Or canceling classes on Good Friday...
...All we concluded in the end was the meeting...
...Questions...
...He and his father Jim Doyle are the authors o/Two Voices, a collection of essays...
...Or whether some unspecified percentage of the faculty should be professional religious...
...We're not going to talk about Saint Ignatius and the damned cannonball between his legs again, are we...
...and that like love it is immeasurable and nutritious...
...Or veiled mention of Catholic tradition and heritage in the college's mission statement...
...Or having the bishop lunch with the theology faculty...
...Or having lots of visiting speakers about Catholic stuff...
...And the Virgin Mary...
...Or a campus ministry office...
...Commonweal 4J April 9,1999...
...Move that we close the meeting and issue the following report to the president: The Catholic character of the college is so intricately stitched throughout its life and work that evidence of it is everywhere, from people to curricula to ritual to rhetoric to signage to symbol to story...
...Or whether the academic vice-president should always be a religious...
...Catholic character...
...Move that we issue a press release saying we have gobs of Catholic character...
...Or whether we have some formal relationships with local parishes and Catholic schools and the diocese...
...Or having a theology faculty...
Vol. 126 • April 1999 • No. 7
