Death's fearful curse It's coming, so get ready
Callahan, Sidney
SIDNEY CALLAHAN DEATH'S FEARFUL CURSE Losing this life's dear pleasures Are you afraid to die?" my newly bereaved son asked. "If you believe we're all going to heaven, aren't you eager to get...
...Maranatha...
...If I should experience such a fear when facing death, I doubt that my faith could stand against the terror...
...In fact, it's never too early to start practising how to die well...
...It's crucial to recognize how important emotions are when considering end-of-life decisions...
...I desire the grace of courage in order to bear whatever has to be borne...
...But I do repeat as my mantra that "perfect love casts out fear...
...Will not fear of death and dying (acknowledged or unacknowledged) make many people clutch too long to the last gasp of physiological life-no matter what price it may entail in technological interventions, financial resources, or increased suffering...
...When assaulted by attacks of anxiety and fearful distress, I try to imagine myself supported, enfolded, held safe, soothed, and comforted by the ever loving arms...
...Part of my problem has to do with capitulating to inertia, that motherlode of sin, but also with the fact I am much too content and happy with my family, work, friends, and this life's dear pleasures: hot baths, the New York Times, good novels...
...I am left cold by those enthusiasts for nature's cycles who welcome the autumn leaf's dying fall as part of the death that replenishes the earth...
...Death may have lost its sting but it is still horrible...
...We are made for eternal blessedness...
...On the other hand, some despairing people may so desperately wish to escape from suffering and the dying process that they will attempt suicide or get others to help them do so...
...In the Iliad, Homer repeatedly sings of "courage-shattering death," and I can imagine how one's courage might fail before the great transition imposed by the grim reaper...
...Remember, it was pagan devotees of nature's endlessly recurring cycles of life and death who sacrificed virgins to the gods of the mountain...
...God is the mother and I am the babe in arms...
...1:23...
...Good question," I reply...
...When I'm out giving talks against assisted suicide and euthanasia I try to be honest about my own feelings about death...
...Violent acts can be engendered from one's rebellion against dependency...
...Thank you, Dame Julian...
...Back on the personal front, individuals can continue the tradition of praying for a good death...
...Many will long for escape because they dread to watch their loved ones die...
...Happily, we Catholics have one other bridge over troubled water when confronting the awful prospect of our dying...
...No, death is better seen by Christians as a fearful curse from whose jaws Christ has saved us...
...No, I don't recommend that you sleep in your coffin as Sarah Bernhardt did...
...we can bank on the belief that a holy and good mother, you-know-who, will pray for us, now and at the hour of our death...
...Death is always an affront, that effect of the Fall that Saint Augustine says will always mar the happiness of human beings...
...Then there are the emotional responses of those who will care for the dying...
...Here's another instance where the personal and the political meet...
...Their descendants still remain half in love with easeful death and have faith in glowing accounts of near-death experiences...
...Yes, everything's going to be all right...
...If you believe we're all going to heaven, aren't you eager to get there...
...all will be well...
...My general opposition to suicide must start at home...
...As an adult but fairly infantile Christian, I could never say with Saint Paul that I long "to depart and be with Christ" (Phil...
...Thirty-five years ago I had a few panic attacks after losing my infant son to sudden infant death syndrome...
...Physicians, friends, and families will have strong positive and negative emotional reactions when they must support the dying...
...So how does this argument over the proper emotions associated with dying impinge on our larger cultural and ethical debates about end-of-life decisions...
...My own private metaphor for living and dying is to envision our existence here as something like that of the fetus in the womb, and when we die we are born into the new creation...
...To preempt passivity and overcome the anxiety of dependence, many defend themselves by actively taking control of events...
...And then I might doubt and despair...
...I will not serve, cry Lucifer and Stephen Daedalus...
...And to make the truth of God's love for us more real, I call up a vision of mother and child...
...On a lighter note, I must admit that I have always hated transitions, especially those totally out of my control, such as the second stage of childbirth, airplane takeoffs, or becoming the anesthetized patient upon the operating table...
...Even though I do not doubt the good news that Christ has won for us the gift of eternal life, dying scares me...
...In plenty of ways, I'd say...
...Only occasionally do the sorrows and evils of the world intrude on my life strongly enough to produce a pang of loathing for this world, along with a strong desire to escape this life...
...Much more needs to be said on this topic, but here we can only affirm that we do well to call to mind the complexity of emotional responses when we hear simple-minded talk from policy makers about "voluntary" and "rational" decisions...
...As an anxious soul, I long to be spared panic...
...So, yes, I admit it, I am afraid of dying...
...Unfortunately, I'm sure I was the kind of fetus who didn't want to risk the trip...
...thank you, Therese...
...As a coward I already dread the pain, suffering, and irritating tedium of dying...
...I've never forgotten the intense dread and horror of the feeling that I was dissolving into nothingness and would explode and be extinguished...
...To my way of thinking there can be no natural death...
...I am mortally afraid of facing death because I fear that at the last moment I might be overwhelmed by panic and anxiety...
...Oh, oh, I thought...
...Saints such as Therese may have experienced blackness and loss of faith at the approach of death, and who knows what Jesus felt as he sweat blood on the night he was betrayed...
...Of course, if I have to face impairment and chronic illness in old age, death may not seem so horrible...
...So why forbid suicide to those people who don't want to live...
...Enough already...
Vol. 123 • October 1996 • No. 18
