Notebook:
Hoyt, Robert G
NOTEBOOK WORD MAESTRO AT PLAY RESTODMARWAYLPOTA! On my home computer I have this program called WordZap, described by its makers as "An Addictionary Game." It is that. My wife and toddler wish to...
...If you make a real word-i.e., one that the game allows-you start on the next tier...
...This grants me courage to enter editorial discussions here in the office...
...It is programmed to be sincere...
...not when you're stuck at the sixth tier, you know the Cookie Monster is gaining, and you can't put together another word...
...The toddler knocks unavailingly on the door...
...You move fast because meantime an invisible opponent is also making words (though you can't see them till the game is over...
...ROBERT G. HOYT In keeping with Commonweal's usual schedule, only one issue is published each month during July and August...
...It makes you taut...
...The game starts...
...Bills don't get paid...
...Otherwise, it says: "Sorry, you lost...
...In the left half of the screen you see two tiers of four blank squares, and below them a single rectangle with the word "Ready...
...If you fill out the seventh or top tier first, the screen says: "Congratulations...
...A few more, and you are a "Word Hero...
...Another word asking to be born is feksch, an adjective expressing the whole gamut of emotions felt by a committed smoker who finds him/herself out of cigarettes two minutes after all the stores close for the night and there's a Notebook to be written...
...WordZap is over, win or lose, no appeal, in as little as forty-five seconds-though it slows down when there just aren't that many possible words in the letters it gives you...
...You could win if you could click out the word yowk, a useful term to be yelled at your spouse to warn in a syllable of a unique and complex situation-the toddler is about to fall off the kitchen table...
...Once in a while, following rules I don't grasp, the monster "zaps" one of your hard-won words...
...We need this word, if only to save space and beat the Game...
...My prose style can lean to poly-syllabificationism...
...William Safire says there are 650,000 words in the language...
...This gives me a Rush...
...You won...
...Heat what and it will thaw...
...Using the mouse, you move the cursor to "Ready," click once, and the left-hand tiers instantly fill up with letters...
...Ah, but Scrabble's rules allow twenty minutes and can't be enforced...
...And one can play games with the Game...
...Note: stop = post...
...It's not enough...
...This item takes a mere mite of time...
...Cocktail hour can break the spell, but I can always bring a drink back to the Game...
...Are there benefits...
...I picture the enemy as an ugly green Cookie Monster with sixteen fingers...
...I dream of the day when I press "Ready...
...I train my head to recall helpful tricks to make quickest use of the letters offered...
...my study is dusty...
...My wife and toddler wish to destroy the game, or, failing that, the computer...
...Win four or five games in a row, and the screen says, "You have been promoted to Word Ace...
...in the right half, seven tiers of five blank blocks...
...Sheepish can't cut it: too long, doesn't begin to convey the intensity of self-contempt for one's addiction, or of the rage over forgetting to feed it, or of the desperate yearning for some nice poisonous tar and nicotine...
...After a while my left shoulder aches...
...focusing on three- to five-letter words resists the trend...
...I don't want to answer the phone, eat, go to the head or bed...
...For example, I see myself in a poker game, where I opt to top the pot...
...Stop me...
...The Game makes you think deeply about the flaws of English...
...Along with pain, WordZap provides small pleasures...
...Scoffers will say the game is too easy because it allows three-letter words, unlike the syndicated version of Scrabble, which you can't win unless you descramble at least a couple of five seven-letter jumbles...
...You click on one after another of these letters, which then appear in the right-hand tiers, starting at the bottom...
...and these letters appear: Limb augh I will respond: ugh, bum, lug, bah, hum, bug, and, finally (seventh word), laugh...
...I look around...
...The next issue will be dated August 18...
...Hate is a form of heat...
...dated August 18...
...My eyes water...
...For proof, study this piece...
...or I am riding in a car driven by Pat, who is dozing off: an apt moment to tap Pat...
...Possibly...
...Hearing yowk!, the spouse can leap before looking...
...I need a twelve-step program...
...Win some tough ones and you may even be a "Word Maestro...
...Is it fun...
...once in a longer while, one of your words "zaps" one of his, hers, or its...
...the others at the table may be younger, smarter, better read, and harder working, but they are not certified Word Maestros...
...My fingers are getting more agile...
Vol. 122 • July 1995 • No. 13
