My quest for wisdom:

Carlin, David R. Jr.

received all sorts of orchestrated support when he was pillo- Bernardin had already said it, as the Tribune's religion writ- ried by the Sun-Tinies for alleged financial and noncelibate er,...

...even if they did they would be worth only The other day I took the first step to- But dignity isn't everything...
...Unfortunately I have but scant recollection of any words of wisdom uttered EIGHT APHORISMS IN SEARCH OF A HAT by my grandfather: otherwise I could simply plagiarize his words as I plagiarized his hat...
...And "However, he did leave some pearls of wisdom...
...but alas, I can't remember what...
...run into difficulties we are confident that diseases by encouraging sexual restraint (An earlier machine, called Gramm-Rud- we can "technologize" our way out of them, (or to call it by its old-fashioned name, man-Hollings, broke down after being on as in the proverb: "If we can put a man on chastity...
...his death machine...
...By saying it, he "did a critical service to victims of clergy Bernardin not only received standing ovations from supporters abuse at precisely a time when it might not have been expectbut he demonstrated observable grace under pressure, deliver- ed of him...
...His defense must misbehavior...
...If you could have wait- abandoning theism for humanism, we nearly complete collapse of the two-par- ed a few decades, the clone-meisters would have begun to abandon humanism for ent family which has taken place in many have supplied you with kids guaranteed technicism...
...Just perfect example of how to respond to allegations...
...Interview stories have featured churchgoers his attempted assassin...
...former religion editor of the Chicago Daily have to respect the pain of victims whoever they are," etc...
...News, is a free-lance writer in Chicago...
...And if you have any other nique to humans become that when hu- Murphy Brown and her Hollywood friends...
...father...
...Are American schoolkids I'll be told that this aphoristic wisdom and Eve to the fall of Sigmund Freud, unable to read Shakespeare...
...gressively defended himself without attacking victims...
...Were they turned down at Before we even completed the work of 3. Violent crime...
...moderate glorification of man would lead forget about sexual restraint...
...received all sorts of orchestrated support when he was pillo- Bernardin had already said it, as the Tribune's religion writried by the Sun-Tinies for alleged financial and noncelibate er, Michael Hirsley, emphasized in a column...
...machinery called Term Limitations will thinkers used to fear that humanism's im2. Out-of-wedlock pregnancies...
...faith in prayer...
...An item of It was not so long ago that religious chinery...
...lower-class urban neighborhoods, a col- to be smart, athletic, good-looking, co- Now let me see, where did I leave my lapse that breeds crime and violence as operative, and unfailingly affable (this hat...
...But I've always thought of it as an old man's hat because it was the kind of hat worn by my grandfather, whom I knew only when he was an old man...
...6: 3 December 1993 Commonweal So it looks as if I have no choice but to discover my own wisdom...
...Jack Kevorkian and abandon attempts to rehabilitate them...
...Then let's if only they prayed long enough and hard 1. AIDS...
...problems that were not covered above, mans fail nowadays we increasingly Instead, we build more prisons and give just call in kindly Dr...
...We feel for the cardinal, and at the same time we Jim Bowman...
...Have your children been to a loss of belief in man...
...to invent some new piece of machinery puters...
...He has agcurious, they were...
...Wisdom about a dime, the sun having in the meanward dignification by purchasing a tweedy too is needed...
...When we lem of AIDS and other sexually transmitted called the Balanced Budget Amendment...
...Unable to re- is...
...whose presumably unscripted remarks could not have been script- JIM BOWMAN ed better...
...last the greatest miracle of all...
...Holiday Hours: Tuesday - Saturday 10 - 6 But witness on the other hand: high rates Closed December 24-27 of crime, violence, divorce, out-of-wedlock births, and sexually transmitted dis- 146 East 74th Street, New York, NY 10021 (212) 535-4050 eases, plus declining SAT scores and voter-participation rates...
...One recalls Pope John Paul But not even the frenziedly feeding media have been what you II bending in prayer in the prison cell with Mehmet Ali Agca, call hard on him...
...EMBRACED BY COMPASSION-Fiand Witness on the other hand: fine auto- Prompt, careful attention to your phone and gift orders mobiles, "smart" bombs, pollution controls, genetic engineering, life-saving Special orders welcome Gift certificates available surgery and drugs, and, of course, com- We ship worldwide Visa & MasterCard accepted puters, the great symbol of the era...
...If only we could invent a machine to surely as swamps breed mosquitoes...
...Or to express this in in- CREDO-Kung THE GREAT CHURCH YEAR-Rahner clusive (though unfortunately nonalter- AGE OF FREEDOMS-Kilcourse CULTURE OF DISBELIEF-Carter native) language: "There has been a PAUL VI-Hebblethwaite HERE COMES EVERYBODY!-Unsworth twofold process of technological im- THE FIRST JESUITS O'Malley SHOOTING STAR-Sister Thea Bowman provement and human deterioration...
...Of course it which took place about 1968), we used to you what happened in 1066...
...Or as Barbara Blaine, of Survivors Network of Those Abused questions along the lines of "Otherwise, how did you like the by Priests (SNAP), said, also quoted by Hirsley, "He has set a play, Mrs...
...Did they fail to to fear is not atheism but ahumanism...
...be in possession not only of a proper hat OF SEVERAL MINDS David R. Carlin, Jr...
...but also of a repertoire of aphorisms that sum up the wisdom he has accumulated in the course of a long and well-spent lifeMY QUEST FOR WISDOM time...
...How did those bozos think he felt...
...make all-state...
...I've been working at this, asking myself: "What impor- The Paraelete Book Center tant insights have I gained that can be expressed in twenty-five words or less...
...Again, take care of that...
...and one day I made a sentimental side trip to Paisley, my grandfather's home town, which he last saw about 1910 when he departed for America...
...but shillings no longer exist, and the time comes...
...But my fear is that it is not all that much try to improve imperfect people...
...11 Commonweal 3 December 1993: 7...
...that is, more machinery...
...When I graduated from college in 1960, eleven years after his death, I spent the summer at the University of Edinburgh...
...Lincoln...
...remedy absent-mindedness...
...Unable to tell of mine is an exaggeration...
...So obvious has the superiority of tech- Heavens, no...
...The correct old man will time set on the British Empire...
...In longer sentences...
...never came...
...properly...
...dled a dozen (it seemed like a dozen) "How do you feel...
...Have we grown dissat- lems X, Y, and Z." what are condoms and vaccines but ma- isfied with elected officials...
...Do Congress and the culties, they were sure there was a way remaining inferior...
...the old days (that is, from the fall of Adam 4. Education...
...At least some of it was heartfelt, but standing be carried on "tin such a way that it will not frighten or scare ovations were saved for his resignation announcement, which off true victims," said Bernardin...
...He was a bricklayer, so he am still a number of years away of course they were all looking very dig- told me something about how to lay bricks from being an old man, but as I nified...
...That would give offense to 8. Et cetera...
...Too bad...
...But now member who Martin Luther was...
...Why, of an exaggeration...
...Over forty years of service to our customers throughout the world The only one I've come up with so far A wide variety of thoughtfully selected titles is this: "In the course of my adult lifetime, Among them: the machinery has got better and the men have got worse...
...Do we focus on the Princeton...
...Bernardin never quite rejoined, but he did fix a blue-eyed He even offered to go and see and "comfort" the accuser, a gaze or two and allowed himself slight shows of impatience...
...thirty-four-year-old AIDS victim...
...More ma- 7. Children...
...old man's hat...
...ception and abortion for teens...
...I'm a pastor," said Bernardin...
...But 6. Politicians...
...advance in age I give more and So when I appeared in public the other He also told me that an English shilling more thought to how I can be a day wearing the old man's hat, it was an was worth twenty-five cents in American wise and dignified old man when epoch in my life...
...After all, by computers ye shall be We have faith in technique, as they had that will permit inferior human material saved...
...We don't deal with the prob- create an interesting piece of machinery enough and in the right spirit...
...I don't know the official name of this kind of hat (or cap), and I realize that even young men are permitted to wear it...
...I had become my grand- money...
...president exhibit a chronic incapacity for' they could pray themselves out of them, For example: balancing the federal budget...
...He refused to let their legitimate cause be swept ing a bravura news conference performance in which he han- away," said Hirsley...
...Today the thing chinery is the answer, in this case contra- a disappointment to you...
...No, we search for a vaccine, in the road for only a few miles...
...meanwhile we try need more machinery, that is, more com- Middle Ages lived in a religious culture...
...As I got off the bus in the center of Paisley, what did I see but a multitude of old men, all of them resembling my grandfather because they were all wearing the "old man's cap...
...We live in a technowe judge it best to allow them to wallow then, it's perfectly clear: their schools logical culture, as the Europeans of the in their imperfection...
...When they ran into diffito function more or less successfully while 5. National deficit...
...the moon, then surely we can solve probthe meantime promoting condom use...

Vol. 120 • December 1993 • No. 21


 
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