Gay rights/gay plight An open letter

Elred, Stephen

Gay rights /gay plight AN OPEN LETTER TO CARDINAL BERNARDIN - & A...

...STEPHEN ELRED To return to my main point: I reject your distinction between orientation and activity not because it affects what I do, but y OUR EMINENCE: because it attacks what I am...
...through annulment procedures the church attempts to provide I claim no expertise in the area of civil rights law, but it the divorced with an opportunity to pick up the pieces and try seems to me that many of society's worst fears in this regard again...
...every time a neo-Nazi group petitions to march through a Your brother in Christ, predominantly Jewish suburb, and every time a concerned STEPHEN ELRED parents' group demands the banning of a classic in world literature because they consider it obscene...
...from the pain and ambiguity of the homosexual...
...there for me...
...and church organizations of their protections from truly offenSingle and widowed people are considered free to marry, and sive behavior...
...process...
...But my decision has yielded fruits which I can humanitarian reasons...
...analyzed the anomaly: if you admit to a priest that you have to settle for anything less than that would be to continue our freely and happily entered into a monogamous relationship complicity in oppression...
...Imagine the hue and cry if we "solved" the JOSEPH L. BERNARDIN problem of neo-Nazism by suspending the Bill of Rights, or if we dealt with the vagaries of child custody by abolishing DEAR STEPHEN: divorce...
...irrationalities...
...The key to that process, however, has been balance, not the wholesale repression of anyone who is tangentially related to "the problem...
...If you try to limited space...
...To assume that sexual orientation itself is part and be situated within a stable bond of mutual fidelity...
...I am a member of a religious community, and I teach religion Please understand that I am not impugning your motives in in a local Catholic high school...
...exceptions on the basis of physical factors beyond our control...
...The church's response to this situation is twofold...
...That is the parcel of these aberrations is a fatal confusion of issues...
...admit that you are "sick," and "mercy" will be yours...
...Jesus proclaimed, and we continue the proclamation, you to think again about the issues, issues which are so very that all people are endowed with full human dignity and value important to me and to all of the others who have been disen- because they are created and redeemed in love and have a high franchised spiritually and politically...
...I will count these words successful if they provoke people...
...The very expecting of certain "sheep" amounts to psycho-spiritual distinction between orientation and activity on which much suicide...
...Also, how could the It is true that the church has never condoned homosexual church maintain its right to safeguard the moral standards of its behavior, but recent scholarship strongly indicates that the schools and agencies if the gay life-style in general were 26 December /9R6: 68/ accorded legal protection...
...Yes, it does, but so does marriage between the infertile, and So much time and emotional energy has been expended wonthose beyond childbearing age...
...If the church is ever to articulate a theology of Do you know what it's like to have your identity treated as a sexuality in which gay people can live, it is imperative that the "problem" or a "weakness...
...As stated above, I believe to "try not to fall again...
...Permit me to now respond to those to make love to a person of the same sex is not inextricably tied which I can aqticipate: to pederasty, sado-masochism, pornography, promiscuity, or • This seems to be asking for special privileges for gay any of the other destructive behaviors which they rightly fear...
...McNeill have already provided' solid theoretical grounds for You need not feel guilty about your sexuality, but you such dissent, and I do not intend to duplicate their efforts in this may not claim it, integrate it, or express it...
...they are not morally neutral, they are rights" legislation which at the time suffered defeat in the morally good, equal in dignity to those of my heterosexual Chicago City Council...
...they and tie to work...
...Have you ever stopped ous...
...In hope we trust that what may divide us now will then be responsible gay teachers find it too risky to reach out to them as overcome - though even here and now we both must strive to potential role models...
...your objections to the statute's moral implications...
...If "they" did, you praxis can be stretched to accommodate the non-normative would discover.that most gay people are preoccupied with experience of some, then why are we so rigid about the monthly mortgage payments and getting home in time to start non-normative experience of others...
...Don't factors which we also admit are beyond the realm of choice...
...whereas you can sleep with a different person every night of There is a wisdom in the church's tradition with which gay the week and still receive absolution anytime that you promise experience needs to be in dialogue...
...For too long the church has sought to insulate itself understand nor appreciate what it means to be homosexual...
...destiny in God...
...But gay sexuality lacks the procreative dimension, which It is worth remembering, too, that the majority of gay people the church considers integral to sexual expression...
...We are eager to accept you, provided that you never I regret that I will not be able to share all of myself in the reveal or affirm who you really are...
...In either could "talk at" the shadows which it found frightening...
...In the one case we make the spaghetti...
...This is necessary because you deny that these conclusions flow from your premises...
...of this stand], but I can never write them off...
...I would also like to comment on the "contagion" and the Because I too struggle to live the Gospel faithfully and seductive "magic" which we impute to homosexuality, such without compromise, I feel real empathy for your effort to be that we fret so about its impact on our children...
...First, let me faithful to yourself and to your vocation...
...and the drafting of what's really there, and then to begin to let go of all the gay/lesbian civil rights legislation...
...STRUGGLE of the majority against the claims of strident minorities...
...And aware of the how offended I am that gay teachers are perceived to be many people - heterosexual and homosexual - who are especially prone to this vice, when in fact the majority of child touched by aspects of the current debates on the issues you molesters are heterosexual...
...fringes of society...
...They In short, I do not think that it is tenable to expect anyone seemed to assume that civil rights can exist only in an atmos- (gay or straight) to partition sexuality off from spirituality...
...with someone of the same sex, you can be denied the sacra- Let me hasten to add, however, that in calling for a time of ments because you lack a "firm purpose of amendment...
...Brian McNaught once bitterly lived experience of gay people be treated as a primary datum...
...The church asks that any sexual activity mutuality...
...We are doubly bound as It certainly is true that many people in our culture neither Christians...
...For what are you saying to gay people...
...In other words: work to construc- that fidelity and self-sacrifice are ideals applicable to any tively integrate your sexuality, and we will cut you off at the sexual relationship...
...culture from the tyranny of the majority...
...After years of suffering, doubt, For several weeks this summer, local newspapers study, and prayer, I am convinced that the desires of my heart were filled with reports and commentary on the "gay and loins are "of God...
...In that you emerged as an important brothers and sisters...
...From its earliest years, our republic has had to balance the fundamental values 1, TOO...
...A Now consider for a moment what happens to a similar desire gay bank executive, for example, might reasonably be compelon the part of a gay person: it is simply trashed...
...tion...
...I would go even further and suggest that knees...
...However profound our disagreement on this matter, please The labels "gay," "straight," "heterosexual," Commonweal: 682...
...Yet we refuse to guarantee the minimal rights of I thank you for your thoughtful and respectful letter...
...Before I address the latter, think that our system of government has proven itself capable I'd like to share some personal thoughts about your presentaof more nuanced solutions...
...phere of suspended moral judgment, as though the notion of Although I personally have been called to forgo a genital human dignity were itself the fruit of a "value-free" soil...
...If we case, the result is that those who are homosexual experience a continue to do so, we will forfeit our claim to be following Him certain exclusion - they are sometimes forced to live on the Who made Himself vulnerable to unpredictable sinners...
...The desire of the heterosexual publicly to belong to are addressed by certain "common-sense" norms of conduct someone is celebrated...
...First, I REALIZE that many of the changes in teaching and policy there is need for an "education to differentiation" which which I am proposing are not yours to effect single- breaks down stereotypical patterns of thinking about other handedly...
...their commitment to one another...
...Simply put, I do not accept the You are a child of God, but we will protect your civil church's attempt to distinguish (nay, sunder) homosexual rights only if you systematically conceal and repress orientation from homosexual activity...
...I will, of course, be stating my true beliefs, but I will I know that you would never speak as harshly as this, but can not be doing so under my own name...
...Rather, I hope to contribute to the dialogue you do so, we will leave you prey to the hostility of anyone have sought by speaking from the perspective of a gay Catho- who finds you inconvenient or unacceptable...
...people have a right to shield themselves from this, and to • But this is against the church's constant teaching...
...challenged to grow more in conformity to perennial ideals of On one level, yes...
...gay couples are obliged to go beyond the "normal" parameThis is not pastoral compassion...
...A gay school teacher who discusses the are cut off from the possibility of ever seeing their interper- intimate details of his sexual life with his students can (and sonal lives validated by the larger community...
...Gay people are led to leave a leather body-harness at home and to wear a suit not only asked to exercise the ordinary virtue of chastity...
...Isn't the church simply asking of them what it asks of Insofar as a person is prone to these, he or she should be single people, the widowed, and the divorced...
...I millions of people because (we believe) our culture would want to acknowledge the deep feelings you convey and crumble if a handful of "them" decided to "act out...
...expression of my sexuality, I cannot believe that a loving God Although I believe that law and morality are intrinsically would put 10 percent of the population in the bind that you related, I also believe that your position on this issue was based propose...
...Coming to accept this, which I admit is catalyst for opposition to that measure, I am sure that you were clearly contrary to church teaching, was probably the hardest aware of the many Christians who supported it for pastoral or thing I ever did...
...Even so, if my identity were to be revealed, you would be pressured to take action against me, and I don't think I owe anything to the lynch-mobs which are currently wreaking havoc in the church...
...Some of the more extreme activists, however, would use Can we not make exceptions on the basis of psychological their expanded freedoms to flaunt a repugnant life-style...
...protect their children from its influences...
...be assured of my reverence for you as my bishop, and of my This is an important set of concerns, one which is faced prayers for your difficult work...
...only adequate expression of the meaning of sexuality, of • But the civil rights legislation does not recognize these anybody's sexuality...
...I truly believe that you are a church's response to homosexuality (and the rationale for that shepherd who would die for his flock, but what you are response) has varied remarkably over the centuries...
...I realize, too, that you are not arguing for a blanket condem- I think it is time to face the fact that we know very little about nation of individuals...
...Second, let me say tity and embraced your celibate religious life...
...If enacted, wouldn't it rob businesses, schools, On another level, however, the comparison breaks down...
...it is functional condescen- ters of procreation to consider the larger issue of generativity in sion...
...Scholars such as John your deepest feelings...
...the church's theology of sexuality as it bed: it's time to take a deep breath, to take a good look at relates to the spirituality of homosexuals...
...But, as pilgrims, both of us are also guided by a news is that many gay teenagers who do want advice are "cut promise and hope held in God's hands - our future together in adrift" in their formative years because mature and ethically- him...
...current teaching hinges was unknown in the last century...
...Indeed, I was touched by your recent closet" at the time that I entered my community, and I have remark that "They [gay people] may write me off [as a result continued to celebrate my gay identity within religious life...
...Moreover, I was "out of the speaking out as you did...
...But again, this is a horse that won't ride...
...1 respect the integrity reaffirm that I support the automatic firing of any teacher who with which you seem to have claimed your homosexual idenengages in sexually-suggestive behavior...
...listening I am also envisioning the process as a two-way street...
...I do the significant concerns you raise...
...people...
...ADMITTEDLY, what I have outlined so far raises more ques- People need to be reminded, again and again, that the desire tions than it answers...
...I am totally serious about the vow of celibacy that I have to consider, though, that what you are asking gay people to do Commonweal: 680 is to write themselves off...
...enced...
...which have never been seriously challenged in the courts...
...For too long This lack of understanding may be expressed simply as fear of its leadership has sought a high and safe ground from which it the unknown or it may be expressed as bias or bigotry...
...I am not aware of the church dering what would happen to Western Civilization if "they" enjoining continence on them...
...have aspirations strikingly similar to those of straight people...
...The good news is that adolescents are well-nigh imper- We both belong to a pilgrimm people, a people on the way, a vious to things which do not interest them, and homosexuality people who have not yet arrived, who still struggle, stumble, holds no interest for a teenager who is "straight...
...distinctions...
...They are a part of Let me be quick to reassure you: I have never been promiscu- the flock for which I am responsible...
...If our categories of moral were permitted to come out into the light...
...majority...
...I will not explore every point you raise, but I'd like to take In short, I think that American attitudes toward gay people up three areas which your letter addresses: how homosexuality are a lot like the child who thinks he has a monster under his is viewed in our culture...
...You are careful to note that subjective homosexuality, and that church teaching has tended to reflect factors may lessen responsibility for an act which is deemed and reinforce the ignorant prejudices of the heterosexual objectively wrong...
...How I wish that somebody had been overcome what divides us...
...Third, I would like to offer both a raise, I share your concern that they be addressed respectfully, reassurance and a lament about a child's ability to be influ- calmly, and truthfully...
...lic...
...As I watched the debate unfold, I was only associate with the Holy Spirit: love, peace, joy, patience, struck by the failure of many religious proponents to address and even self-control...
...should) be fired for unprofessional conduct...
...on faulty moral reasoning...
...Gay rights /gay plight AN OPEN LETTER TO CARDINAL BERNARDIN - & A RESPONSE I now taken, and I am considered a model of discretion in SEX & PERSON dealing with the adolescent boys whom 1 teach...
...We are morally bound to do so as Americans, in that our system of government claims to protect individuals 1. Homosexuality and U.S...
...The bad and fall...

Vol. 113 • December 1986 • No. 22


 
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