PHARISEES:
Powers, J F
PHARISEES
a short story by J. F. POWERS
And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: Two men went up into the temple to pray: the...
...said the ex-Pharisee...
...And so say all of us," said one of the ex-rapists...
...The young ex-thief said he'd be glad to go out with the can in her place, and offered to turn his gun over to her, the ex-Pharisee, or the ex-rapists, if that would make him more acceptable in her eyes, but that was not required of him, and he came back shortly with a full can...
...We're all pretty busy, Walt, but we can still find a few hours a day for the things that matter most...
...A young woman, a dish, entered the joint rattling a can of coins...
...No, I was there...
...So he held the egg down on the bar, rolled it back and forth, and in this manner broke the shell, which he removed...
...The publican squeezed another egg, rolled it on the bar, removed the shell, salted the small end, and pointed it at the Pharisee invitingly...
...The ex-Pharisee slipped the young thief a five, which he, having seen how it was done, folded and slipped into the can, saying, "Now I see...
...Hey, what's happening...
...Oh, yes...
...Oh, sure," said the dish, and rattled the can at the publican...
...Tired...
...Luke 18:9-13 TAKING a hard-boiled egg from the bowl on the bar, the publican-if he could be called that, for the joint was in his wife's name and he was now retired from his job as tax collector- squeezed it, trying to break the shell in his grip, and failed...
...While the holdup was in progress, another customer, an unfrocked Pharisee now engaged in community work, entered the joint, saying, "Hi, fellas...
...She approached the Pharisee with it...
...Not surprisingly, they all agreed...
...said the ex-Pharisee...
...Don't thank me," he told the grateful dish...
...Not today, Walt...
...What's it for...
...said the ex-Pharisee...
...Just a beer...
...Big deal," said the ex-Pharisee...
...She's pretty busy...
...an elderly Pharisee in a dark suit of conservative cut...
...The Pharisee said, "Saw you this morning, Walt, unless my eyes deceived me...
...Sounds good, Walt...
...The publican was pouring a small brandy when a young thief entered the joint with a gun, saying, "This is a holdup...
...We give at home," he said...
...My wife takes care of all that...
...And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner...
...said the ex-Pharisee...
...Maybe you're right," said the young thief, sheepishly...
...After serving them, the publican picked up the egg, which was eroding on the bar...
...I don't fast, and I don't give tithes, and I don't go to temple, and I thank God (if there is one) I'm not like the hypocrites that do...
...Thank him...
...In cholesterol, which I prefer to take in the form of eggs, I get all the things my body needs -animal fats, blood, nerve tissue, bile, to name but a few...
...Small brandy, please...
...I've been hearing about it...
...Going out into the entry way, where the dish was being attacked by rapists, he said, "Hi, fellas," and after apologizing for the young ex-thief who had attacked one of the rapists from behind, he spoke to them all in a nice way, telling them that they could jeopardize their future in the community by such conduct, if, that is, they persisted in it...
...I don't say you're wrong," said the ex-Pharisee...
...People...
...Hey, what's happening...
...1975, by J. F. Powers...
...PHARISEES a short story by J. F. POWERS And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: Two men went up into the temple to pray: the one a Pharisee and the other a publican...
...Small brandy, please...
...Hey, don't forget us," said the ex-Pharisee- who then folded a dollar and slipped it into the can...
...Not today, Walt...
...It's this new cholesterol diet...
...He sprinkled salt on the small end of the egg, and was eating this when a customer entered the joint...
...Walt and I." "About what...
...The accompanying piece is from a new collection of Mr...
...I give tithes of all that I possess," he said...
...You see, I fast twice in the week, and this is one of my days...
...The publican leaned over the bar and, with a mouthful of egg, whispered, "Religion...
...A little," said the dish...
...Walt, how is it I never see your wife there...
...he asked...
...She's off today...
...I see you're eating an egg," said the customer, J. f. powers, a long-time contributor to Commonweal, is the author of the novel Morte D'Urban, winner of a 1963 National Book Award, and of other works of fiction...
...I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that 1 possess...
...What new diet is this, Walt...
...The ex-Pharisee said, "You did it your way, fella...
...All I ask is that you think again...
...The dish rattled the can at the young thief...
...Watch it," said the young thief...
...I don't say I'm right...
...I try not to make value judgments...
...Powers' short stories, Look How the Fish Live, to be published by Alfred A. Knopf in October...
...The ex-Pharisee then spoke to the young thief in a nice way, telling him that he could jeopardize his future in the community by such conduct, if, that is, he persisted in it...
...he said to the Pharisee...
...Two beers, Walt...
...The ex-Pharisee, the young ex-thief, the dish, and the six ex-rapists then repaired to the bar where they sat in a row, but could see each other in the mirror, all talking about poetry, music, drama, and better recreational facilities...
...The Pharisee shook his head...
...The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that 1 am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican...
...Oh, that," said the ex-Pharisee...
...Such as...
...Want one...
...I was standing afar off...
...We were talking," said the Pharisee...
...In the meantime, what'll you have, fella...
...Watching the dish leave, the publican squeezed an egg, then rolled it on the bar, removed the shell, and salted the small end...
...Oh, sure," said the dish...
...I'm on this new diet," said the publican...
Vol. 102 • August 1975 • No. 11
