The Continuing Crisis
The Continuing Crisis • • ^ February, and connoisseurs of the bathetic were gladdened to see that Richard M. Nixon has not lost his old magic, his mysterious power to leave a hint of the loony...
...And debate still rages within the Amer can Civil Liberties Union over that Michiga Supreme Court decision giving dogs the rigt to bite humans who step on the animals' tail: According to the equal protection doctrine hi mans should have the reciprocal right to bit dogs, but few humans have tails...
...is that the only thing restraininl Congress from making the bribery of foreigi pols by American corporations malum prohibi turn is their concern over the possible dam age such laws might have on the U.S...
...Perhaps an even more auspicious indication of the popularity of Labour's fundamental tenet was provided by the revelation that theft was increasingly popular with girls and with boys under the age of seven...
...David Broder referred to the trip as "incredible," and saw the man as "shameless," willing "to exploit and corrupt every institution and relationship of which he has ever been a part...
...econ omy...
...Ernesto Miranda ended when the long-time rapist, kidnapper, thug, and constitutional scholar fell into a disagreement at a nocturnal poker game in Phoenix...
...Miranda's 1966 Supreme Court case that considerably widened defendants' rights upon being pinched...
...The astonishing success of Secretary c State Kissinger's policy of detente became at parent in February when the Soviet Union re fused to join with those other Western dip1( mats living in Moscow who deplored th American Embassy's failure to notify the, that the Embassy had become a health hazarc Apparently the building abounds with radix tion from Russian listening devices...
...Miss Dyan Cannon, the gifted actress and intellectual, plans to direct her first documentary, a film on "children's bathroom trauma" entitled Number One...
...And in New York City Conrad Ramirez is recovering at the home of his mother from his most recent attempt at suicide...
...Let it merely be said that even the Clark Kent of American journalism is not immune to the Nixon magic...
...The center, which will "review, monitor, and investigate" the enforcement of women's rights legislation throughout deepest darkest America, is beginning at a propitious time, for hundreds of professional snoopers are now unemployed because of the jehad that has been waged against older intelligence agencies by Congressional liberals like Ribicoff and Percy...
...Nixon remains a figure of awe...
...Dick Cavett's Polish jokes, pl.( sumably on the humane grounds that such reply would only trigger more of these cruc japes...
...President Idi Amin can take pride in Ne York City's recently published figures on par ing violators...
...William Dufty, 60, a convert who trimmed from 225 to 142 pounds once smitten by the charismatic Miss Swanson...
...The Continuing Crisis • • ^ February, and connoisseurs of the bathetic were gladdened to see that Richard M. Nixon has not lost his old magic, his mysterious power to leave a hint of the loony wherever he goes, with whomsoever he associates, with his adversaries most of all...
...As for the mysterious Mr...
...Enemies sit down to write critical essays and their wives discover them in the wee of the night baying at the moon...
...What is even more perplexing is tl crime is illegal in the Soviet Union...
...Miss Gloria Swanson, 76, the retired actress who has been intrepidly waging a national campaign against "sugar in the diet" paused from the promotion of her recent monograph, "Sugar Blues," to take her sixth husband, Mr...
...His remarks concluded in such violence that my conscience restrains me from printing the words...
...He will cut $3.6 billion from the British Government's 1977-78 spending and $6 billion more the following year...
...Nixon, he spoke with China's new grand panjandrum, visited the remnants of Chairman Mao, and roamed about the countryside followed by an ambulance...
...Nonetheless Mr...
...One of the Ugandan cars average three parking violations per day...
...At one stop he attempted to convey to his audience something of the latest in American pop culture and—as documented in the redoubtable Philadelphia Bulletin—quipped "twenty-three skidoo," a term that baffled his interpreters but did remind the more digagg Nixon watchers of the man's inimitable style...
...The ill-starred life of Mr...
...Reggie Frye, 46, was arrest, in Los Angeles for absconding with his fia cEe's artificial eye and holding it for a thre hundred-dollar ransom...
...Visionary politics may be wilting in Britain, but in America it was idealism as usual when on February 2 Senators Abraham A. Ribicoff and Charles Percy introduced legislation to create "a national center for women...
...Barry Goldwater's language took on the eloquence and profundity of a bumper sticker...
...Frankly, I would not touch him if my hands were dripping with holy water and the Holy Ghost were hovering just overhead...
...Whether the law will extend to newsstand sales of the New York Review of Books remains unclear...
...Still, the most curious news comes frc the Soviet Union where Mr...
...The Supreme Court refused to allow th Polish-American Congress equal time on A134 to reply to Mr...
...On February 20 he left for a nine-day visit to China and immediately set all of his old friends bawling like mental defectives...
...Bleeding profusely and complaining of "headaches" Mr...
...2 The Alternative: An American Spectator April 19...
...George Costak an employee of the Canadian Embassy a owner of the largest collection of construct ist art in Russia, had his entire one-and-a-ha million-dollar collection stolen simultaneous from his Moscow apartment and his count dacha...
...According to these figures, ca owned by Uganda's UN mission swept tl first three places in a list dominated by we intentioned Third World and Communi countries...
...Well, the mild-mannered Mr...
...Their pique is understandable for the intensely ideological Labour Party has been making deep inroads into British society, as was manifest earlier in the month when a Government study revealed that nine out of ten London boys had been involved in at least one theft before leaving school...
...Friends leave his side and promptly walk into open manholes though their pockets abound with rabbit's feet...
...Ironically, as Congress circumscribes the snooping activities of the IRS, the FBI, and the CIA, it opens even more surveillance opportunities for the busybodies of HEW et al...
...Wilson's break with three decades of socialist thought is ominous...
...A final betrayal of social justice," cried one concerned left Labourite, who confided his especial apprehension that these cuts will affect Britain's state-run health service, a remarkably farsighted national program that late in January began a night school for transsexuals "where men who have changed their sex can learn to face the world as women...
...Even those Albanians who hai been ordered to shed family names that dal with the nation's "political, ideological, ar moral standards" are full of the kind of pr letarian gusto for life that can only be expel enced in a Marxist paradise...
...And that West V ginia teacher who attracted the professior notice of the Pennsylvania Highway Pan when he sped past apparently naked, w booked for nothing more serious than dru driving when the troopers discovered that had modestly swathed his nether regions wi a bewildered but harmless five-foot snake...
...On February 19, Prime Minister Harold Wilson announced plans to make sizable excisions in Britain's social welfare programs during the next two years, an austerity move nudged on by that island's economic exhaustion, but a move that invited jeers and shrieks from leftist Labour representatives who had sensed that with 25 percent inflation and 1.5 million people unemployed Britain was about to stride into the dawn of Sidney Webb's socialist dream...
...A seve hundred-pound male elk became the secot animal to be shot and surreptitiously slaug tered for meat at the Worcester, Massach setts zoo...
...And the Washington press corps...
...It was Mr...
...The Democrats saw visions of Napoleon returning from Elba...
...Ramirez was disentangled from the fire escape and rushed to Holy Family Hospital where he received blood transfusions and a visit from psychiatrist Seymour Feinblatt, who pronounced him sane but "overly apprehensive about New York's fiscal plight.' ^ The rather incredible news from Washing ton, D.C...
...Fro democratic Tirana comes word that Albaniat are gaily accepting the new constitution wri ten for them by Communist Party leader Env, Hoxha, LL.B...
...Ramirez, who has failed on three prior occasions, hurled himself through a twelfth-story window only to discover that the window opened on a fire escape...
...The White House waxed lachrymose about the trip's effect on President Ford's conquest of New Hampshire...
...And a cultural revolution is sweeping Daly City, California, where the town's intellectuals were distraught upon hearing that the town council banned augury, cartomancy, clairaudience, clairvoyance, crystal gazing, divination, fortune-telling, graphology, life-reading, necromancy, palmistry, phrenology, and prophecy...
Vol. 9 • April 1976 • No. 7
