The Continuing Crisis
The Continuing Crisis ^ November, and in America it is a time of thanksgiving. Across the land pious Americans bowed their heads over recumbent turkeys and thanked the Deity for everything from...
...Gauche, sniffed the British representative...
...Finally, the Indian Supre Court has exonerated Prime Minister Ind Gandhi from any form of misconduct, inc cretion, or whatever it was that made exigent for her to improve upon Indian dem racy...
...Congratulatic are in order for the relatives of Mr...
...No, the Yank should not be so humorless...
...Stanley Arnold, the New York business consultant...
...No one knows how the pederasts will take it...
...President Ford will grant government loans to New York City...
...No sooner had the smirking faded over this preposterosity than the various exalt6s of the Third World, the Communist World, and—curiously—England simultaneously rolled their eyeballs in horror at American representative Daniel Patrick Moynihan's tendered resolution demanding worldwide amnesty for all political prisoners...
...At least two reporters asked questions redolent of such economic illiteracy that even Mr...
...By the end of the month Mr...
...According to the Senat poverty there is so widespread "that in N York, about half of the people have less tithe median national income"—a merry r ment, made all the merrier by the fact t none of the journalists on the panel seemec realize that a median is by definition middle point in any distribution of nu bers...
...Eula Wrights, 47, whose buttocks became lodged in a bus emergency exit, "exposing them to public view" and causing her "an emotional upset...
...One newstnan fell sound asleep during the President's peroration...
...for instance, a dead man was elected the Philadelphia city council...
...McGlenchey j( before his election changed the voting place a moving bus, unbeknownst to his oppone Otherwise, the November elections reveal no significant departure from usual voti patterns...
...And in Oakland, California, a jury awarded $4.300 to Mrs...
...Ronald Reagan announced his candidacy as did Governor George C. Wallace and Mr...
...The decision caused rejoicing throul out the subcontinent...
...And it was with sadness t, the world of high culture received word of passing of Dr...
...Ernst Hanfstangl, 88, the H yard-educated art collector and musician v‘ served as press aide and piano player to Ac Hitler, the late German reformer...
...Richard Speck would be a venerated President of the General Assembly...
...Alleluia...
...R 2 The Alternative: An American Spectator January 19...
...Herbert McGlenchey became the most recent victim of the post-Watergate morality when a judge barred his election for viq leader upon hearing that Mr...
...In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Mr...
...Patil, a longti Gandhi associate...
...President Gerald R. (Jerry) Ford fired Secretary of Defense James Schlesinger and CIA Director William Colby, and both he and Mr...
...For months the American Talleyrand's lower lip has shown traces of a prolonged and clandestine pout, but only in November did snuffling become a major ingredient of his political wizardry...
...A retaliatory move," squalled some diplomats...
...We get more amusement and edification out of the UN than out of both houses of Congress and for a fraction of the price...
...The good government crowd still perplexed by that report in the Nove ber 30 New York Times claiming that desf the layoff of 1,500 sanitation employees July, New York's streets are now cleaner...
...but on November 26 the President's youngest son, David Ford, volunteered a few nincompoop paragraphs to the Ford Family Chrestomathy...
...Glad tidings from Ann Arbor, Michigan...
...We are literally IT with joy," declared Mr...
...Casey Tibbs, "former world's champion cowboy...
...Sharon Gould Old Prairie, Iowa, continues...
...If Charlie Manson had been born in any land of the Third World he would by now be a fully plumed and bespangled President-Field Marshal...
...The United Nations is God's gift to the woebegone Yank...
...Kissinger made heavy weather of it for America's exceedingly popular Ambassador Moynihan...
...David is studying "rodeo skills" under the tutelage of Mr...
...Throughout the postwar era:the astonished Yank has been harangued for his beastliness, first by sanctimonious Europeans, then by outraged Third Worlders, and, finally, by his more cosmopolitan countrymen...
...Isecke jumped out of a wind on November 27...
...and Provincial Prime Mir ter Y.S...
...The hospital was taken o• ten months ago by th.e Gabonese governm' under the enlightened stewardship of Prt dent Albert Bernard Bongo, the celebra...
...The lonely vigil of Mrs...
...Voting rights continue to be I tended to all Americans regardless of con tion...
...A from Hanover, West Germany, comes wi that Heinz Isecke, who has been hiccup continually for the last two years, has fin stopped...
...Senator George McGovern finally agreed that the war is over in Vietnam, and friends of due process were distraught when on November 26 a California jury found Lynette Alice Fromme, a leading feminist intellectual• guilty of an attempt to assassinate the President...
...After stating disapproval of his father's 1976 candidacy he magnanimously added that "if that's what he wants, he's done enough for me that all of us will go along with it...
...The announcement was made in a press conference during which the Washington press corps again revealed the high quality of intellect that characterizes its fauna...
...Parmar proved it when he intone "The cause of democracy has been fully vin cated...
...Fran O'Donnell, the elected representative of c of America's heretofore sorely neglected terest groups...
...The judgment represents the trium of democratic forces...
...Alb Schweitzer's jungle hospital is about to cli for lack of funds...
...Later in the month President Ford nominated Judge John Paul Stevens of Chicago to the Supreme Court in a callous act that thrust many feminist yowlers into livid dudgeon...
...Since then has patiently waited at the cow's exitway the ring to re-emerge...
...humanitarian...
...Ivor Richard, upbraided Mr...
...Robert Guccione, aesthete...
...While ha feeding her two-year-old cow early in month she suddenly saw her gold nugget w( ding band roll southward, over the CON tongue and toward its tonsils...
...But in recent years the United Nations has come to the Yank's rescue, by proving irrefragably that the rest of the world abounds with hinds, morons, and scoundrels of such staggering magnitude as to leave America looking like a nation of archangels...
...Kissinger began bawling in public about Soviet obduracy at the SALT talks as State Department officials watched anxiously to see if detente might actually be improved...
...Moynihan to Wyatt Earp, a vengeful Savonarola, and an angry King Lear raging amid the storm, the General Assembly settled back to more serious questions such as self-determination for Puerto Rico and the need to mulct America for more boodle...
...Apparently Shuffle Diplomacy is to be replaced by Snuffle Diplomacy at the State Department...
...Ford was moved to pity...
...Meanwhile, Portugal withdrew from Angola on November 17, but so grave were the depredations wrought by that country's five hundred ravening years of colonialism that Russia and Cuba immediately dispatched thousands of technicians and social workers to Angola in an incomparable display of humanitarianism that ought to garner one of them a Nobel Peace Prize, at least once the hostilities cease...
...On November 10 the UN General Assembly, by a vote of 72-35 with 32 absentions, approved an American-opposed resolution equating Zionism with racism...
...She will appeal, and the constituency of conscience is wondering when Marlon Brando will act...
...On every occasion that he appeared his lower lip was adroop, he spoke mournfully of his mother, and State Department sources leaked reports that he was listening to old Johnny Mathis records...
...An attempt to embarrass the more progressive republics," squealed others...
...According to psychology professor Theodore Newcomb, his 45-year study of college students reveals that the average student learns very little while at college and he quickly forgets even that...
...Moynihan for intemperate behavior in a speech comparing Mr...
...The results of this exciting and audacious demarche were immediate, at least domestically...
...Across the land pious Americans bowed their heads over recumbent turkeys and thanked the Deity for everything from hair transplants to the November 12th retirement of Supreme Court Justice William 0. Douglas, yet how strange that nowhere was there heard anything but derisory hoots for one of America's most voluptuous blessings, the United Nations...
...and after he, a Mr...
...It has been two months since Mrs...
...Brandeis Univers has given its "publisher of the year award" Mr...
...An insight into the quality of intell flourishing in Washington was offered Senator Jacob Javits appeared on "Face Nation" to illuminate New York City's e nomic condition...
...Betty Ford's last dithyramb, and Susan Ford remains quiescent...
Vol. 9 • January 1976 • No. 4
