I Don't Need You When I'm
Cannon, Right Lou
Book Review/Lon Cannon The Great American Flack "There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to shipwreck." —Vic Gold in letter resigning from the Shirley Temple...
...Walter Lippman considered PR men powerful molders of public opinion, but Gold reduces them to two types, "lapel strokers and writing hacks," and puts himself in the latter category...
...What the hell do you think you're doing...
...And what were Vic Gold and his expert fellow manipulators doing while all this was going on...
...Number wanted (how many ?): Large...
...Everyone has his own favorite story about Vic Gold, most of them about incidents on campaign buses...
...He believes that flacks have been reacting to events while others have been moving them...
...Gold calmed down only when he was told that Agnew was still in the hotel and that the offending vehicle was a city transit bus taking people home from work...
...Separately and together these revolutions triggered a massive movement away from traditions andcustoms that had existed for centuries...
...He tells how he once wrote 450 pages in three days for the late Everett Dirksen, who needed them for a filibuster...
...6.95 once told me with a straight face that "1972 was a good year except for Watergate," Gold was a wild, refreshing, honest, angry flack...
...Lar Also, please send Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Buttons at $1 each...
...6.95 once told me with a straight face that "1972 was a good year except for Watergate," Gold was a wild, refreshing, honest, angry flack...
...To receive your very own Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Tee Shirt—or to order one as a gift for some turkey on your Christmas list—please send the order form below (or a reasonable facsimile) with the appropriate amount of money to The Baron, P.O...
...Your job is to keep up with the motorcade...
...Please rush the following Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Tee Shirts at $5.00 each...
...Run over the people," yelled Gold at the top of his voice...
...Dear Baron: I'm over/under whelmed...
...Under E, for Elephants, the advanceman on his first assignment was cautioned that at all Nixon rallies featuring a live Republican mascot, the animal should be given a thorough enema and left unfed for a specified period prior to the candidate's appearance...
...In retrospect Gold offers some valuable observations on the limits of PR and PR men...
...Under E, for Elephants, the advanceman on his first assignment was cautioned that at all Nixon rallies featuring a live Republican mascot, the animal should be given a thorough enema and left unfed for a specified period prior to the candidate's appearance...
...Box 877, Bloomington, Indiana 47401, U.S.A...
...If you don't, let me refresh your memory...
...How the hell did the goddam staff bus get ahead of us in the motorcade...
...Even funnier is Gold's account of the Haldeman-inspired scripts designed to keep Agnew in his respectful orbit around Nixon...
...Vance Hartke "will go for anything short of greased-pig wrestling if it means a wire service photo in the home-state newspapers...
...The kind of propagandists, that is, who didn't need a two-day $9,600 course given by J. Walter Thompson counseling them on 'how to deal with the news media...
...Vic Gold in letter resigning from the Shirley Temple Black account Henry Cabot Lodge was speaking at a Republican rally on Chicago's South Side in 1960 when a hitherto composed elephant mascot standing alongside the platform answered a series of wild nature calls...
...Walter Thompson, remember...
...We are indebted to Vic Gold, press secretary extraordinary and Scourge of Bus Drivers, for the aftermath of this long-unremembered speech...
...They're the same wonderful experts who gave us Ron Ziegler and H.R...
...Gold slips them in like a sharp knife between the ribs while readers are still laughing at his oneNow for the gimmick...
...Vance Hartke "will go for anything short of greased-pig wrestling if it means a wire service photo in the home-state newspapers...
...Gold slips them in like a sharp knife between the ribs while readers are still laughing at his oneNow for the gimmick...
...In his book Gold explains that Agnew was even sorer about a Post editorial of the same vintage which compared Nixon's selection of Agnew as his running mate with Caligula's choice of his horse as Roman proconsul...
...Thus, he takes pride in how he derailed Flowers' racist opponent, but can admit that his PR work for Flowers was "demagoguery...
...John Marchi, the Republican-Conservative candidate for mayor of New York in 1969, "photographs like Pius XI reading the riot act on contraception...
...Lodge cut his speech short and beat it to the airport...
...Haldeman and placed in the Advanceman's Manual, which codified the experience of the various Richard Nixon campaigns...
...Gold is no more inclined to glorify his undertakings than was Frank Skeffington, but he isn't apologizing, either, and he has a truer sense about himself than the people who went to Washington with Nixon and Agnew...
...Sen...
...Propagandists for causes in which they believed...
...Walter Lippman considered PR men powerful molders of public opinion, but Gold reduces them to two types, "lapel strokers and writing hacks," and puts himself in the latter category...
...Gold considered the remark both accurate and funny...
...Haldeman and placed in the Advanceman's Manual, which codified the experience of the various Richard Nixon campaigns...
...He has bright observations about the public relations business and even brighter one-liners about politicians he has known...
...The President will wave to the convention delegates with arms extended only shoulder high...
...s or Big Mac Bonds accepted...
...When the Agnew plane in 1972 left behind a reporter who had slept late or died of boredom, Gold considered the oversight his own fault...
...John Marchi, the Republican-Conservative candidate for mayor of New York in 1969, "photographs like Pius XI reading the riot act on contraception...
...To receive your very own Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Tee Shirt—or to order one as a gift for some turkey on your Christmas list—please send the order form below (or a reasonable facsimile) with the appropriate amount of money to The Baron, P.O...
...Haldeman...
...He was out of public relations then, trying to keep his distance from Agnew while establishing himself as a columnist, but Gold defended the man he believed in...
...What the hell do you think you're doing...
...Shirts are 100% cotton and will shrink...
...Gerald Ford is "the foremost representative of [the] modern Nasal Banal School of Political Oratory...
...He saved his rage for bus drivers and for those he thought were savaging his boss...
...Gold was a "Ghost-with-Cover" who wrote for an industrial association which funneled the speeches to the Senator...
...When the Agnew plane in 1972 left behind a reporter who had slept late or died of boredom, Gold considered the oversight his own fault...
...It was something he had learned in the Goldwater campaign, where buses were always becoming parted from the candidate...
...Gold's insights, however, are no hack's...
...Loyalty" was the by-word in the Nixon Administration, but it was a slogan more than a reality...
...There are also some serious points in this terribly funny book...
...How the hell did the goddam staff bus get ahead of us in the motorcade...
...Gold screamed at the bus driver...
...Number wanted (how many ?): Large...
...Gerald Ford is "the foremost representative of [the] modern Nasal Banal School of Political Oratory...
...Everyone has his own favorite story about Vic Gold, most of them about incidents on campaign buses...
...Barry Goldwater "wasn't so much a candidate as a Candide in his dealings with the smart-ass national press...
...Shirts are 100% cotton and will shrink...
...For Immediate Release," Montoya barked, snapping a half-stunned, half-stoned audience to attention...
...Nor did I ever hear him make the shoddy Watergate defense that everyone else also broke the law...
...Barry Goldwater "wasn't so much a candidate as a Candide in his dealings with the smart-ass national press...
...But when Agnew was accused, Gold was certain that it was a plot against the Vice President, perhaps abetted by the White House...
...Sorry, no C.O.D...
...James Wooten of the New York Times wrote during the 1972 campaign that Gold was always on the verge of mental health...
...Dreaming up shticks for the grand opening of Howard Johnson Motor Lodges...
...At this same lunch Gold also gave me his views, hilariously described in I Don't Need You, about the Newsweek article which had described Agnew's purported interest in two copulating rhinos during a trip to Africa...
...how to dress and act on camera...how to cope with aggressive interviewers.' "J...
...In an administration where Chuck Colson had glorified the assault on grandmothers, Gold was invariably kind, thoughtful, and apologetic—when he wasn't screaming at someone...
...Vic Gold in letter resigning from the Shirley Temple Black account Henry Cabot Lodge was speaking at a Republican rally on Chicago's South Side in 1960 when a hitherto composed elephant mascot standing alongside the platform answered a series of wild nature calls...
...Lodge cut his speech short and beat it to the airport...
...The host committee and the first five rows of spectators scattered...
...Dear Baron: I'm over/under whelmed...
...Box 877, Bloomington, Indiana 47401, U.S.A...
...Truly loyal people don't go around yammering about their loyalty...
...I never met a flack who more fiercely defended his employer than Gold, even when no defense was necessary...
...He was the flack for the Bourbon Institute while a devout scotch drinker, the flack for former Alabama Attorney General Richmond Flowers, who won anelection and went to jail for extortion, and the flack for Spiro Agnew, who pleaded no contest and avoided a prison sentence...
...Thus, he takes pride in how he derailed Flowers' racist opponent, but can admit that his PR work for Flowers was "demagoguery...
...Loyalty" was the by-word in the Nixon Administration, but it was a slogan more than a reality...
...James Wooten of the New York Times wrote during the 1972 campaign that Gold was always on the verge of mental health...
...They're the same wonderful experts who gave us Ron Ziegler and H.R...
...Unfortunately, Nixon came along to blow it by holding Agnew's hands over his head...
...We are always the first bus...
...Dirksen didn't even know that Gold was doing the writing...
...For Immediate Release," Montoya barked, snapping a half-stunned, half-stoned audience to attention...
...I Don't Need You When I'm Right conveys much of the daily humor of politics,which is, Nixon and McGovern notwithstanding, a very funny business...
...And what were Vic Gold and his expert fellow manipulators doing while all this was going on...
...No one was ever run over, of course...
...Gold, now a columnist, was a member of that vanishing breed of PR men who are proud of their individual achievements without exalting the purpose of their trade...
...Box 877, Bloomington, Indiana 47401, U.S.A...
...On the second conversation, which made even less progress, I slammed down the phone...
...please print) Your Name Address City State Zip If this is a gift: Recipient's Name Address City State Zip Gift Card to Read from Christmas Turkeys Five Dollars Each The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 29 liners...
...The third conversation was over lunch and Gold explained that he liked the Washington Post just fine but that Agnew was still sore about the "fat Jap" incident four years before...
...It's the Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Tee Shirt, designed exclusively for The Alternative through the coordinated efforts of some of the world's toniest fashion salons in Paris, London, and North Adams, Michigan...
...It was something he had learned in the Goldwater campaign, where buses were always becoming parted from the candidate...
...The third conversation was over lunch and Gold explained that he liked the Washington Post just fine but that Agnew was still sore about the "fat Jap" incident four years before...
...The Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Tee Shirt (spotless white on Tyrrell green) comes in two sizes, large and too large...
...We are always the first bus...
...Send orders, notes, and testimonial letters to The Baron, P.O...
...Truly loyal people don't go around yammering about their loyalty...
...I never once heard Vic Gold tell me or anyone else that he was "loyal" to Spiro Agnew...
...The President will wave to the convention delegates with arms extended only shoulder high...
...The kind of propagandists, that is, who didn't need a two-day $9,600 course given by J. Walter Thompson counseling them on 'how to deal with the news media...
...In a certain sense Gold himself has been dodging elephant accidents all of his adult life, and most of the elephants were white ones...
...He was the flack for the Bourbon Institute while a devout scotch drinker, the flack for former Alabama Attorney General Richmond Flowers, who won anelection and went to jail for extortion, and the flack for Spiro Agnew, who pleaded no contest and avoided a prison sentence...
...Nor did I ever hear him make the shoddy Watergate defense that everyone else also broke the law...
...We recommend this size for most men and all buxom women...
...But Gold also returned all of his phone calls, never lied that I am aware of, never tried to tell me how to write a story, and continually worried about his responsibilities to the traveling press...
...Gold and the Nixon men were equally misplaced in their beliefs, but Gold never whined about Agnew's "other achievements" when the truth became known...
...It's the Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Tee Shirt, designed exclusively for The Alternative through the coordinated efforts of some of the world's toniest fashion salons in Paris, London, and North Adams, Michigan...
...My first conversation with Gold, thank28 The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 fully on the telephone, ended when he became enraged at a question of mine about why I couldn't see Agnew—and slammed down the phone...
...30 The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 Book Review/Lon Cannon The Great American Flack "There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to shipwreck...
...I never met a flack who more fiercely defended his employer than Gold, even when no defense was necessary...
...I Don't Need You When I'm Right may be the best political book since The Last Hurrah, and for many of the same reasons...
...Sen...
...In his book Gold explains that Agnew was even sorer about a Post editorial of the same vintage which compared Nixon's selection of Agnew as his running mate with Caligula's choice of his horse as Roman proconsul...
...I never knew Gold to be quite this polite to bus drivers...
...Gold was a "Ghost-with-Cover" who wrote for an industrial association which funneled the speeches to the Senator...
...In his fine book Running, Chicago Sun-Timescolumnist Bob Greene tells of the occasion in the 1972 campaign when a bus swerved in front of the Agnew press bus, which was parked at a curb outside a hotel waiting for the Vice President's limousine to leave...
...Joseph Montoya, the spearcarrier of the Senate Watergate Committee, getting confused at the National Legislative Conference and reading the press release of the speech he was supposed to give...
...At this same lunch Gold also gave me his views, hilariously described in I Don't Need You, about the Newsweek article which had described Agnew's purported interest in two copulating rhinos during a trip to Africa...
...My first conversation with Gold, thank28 The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 fully on the telephone, ended when he became enraged at a question of mine about why I couldn't see Agnew—and slammed down the phone...
...We are indebted to Vic Gold, press secretary extraordinary and Scourge of Bus Drivers, for the aftermath of this long-unremembered speech...
...Senator Joseph Montoya, Democrat of New Mexico, last night told the National Legislative Conference at Albuquerque that...
...Most of the time he screamed at them, in language not suitable for this or any other magazine, to stay right behind the limousine at all costs to their health, safety, and/or manhood...
...As a "citizen PR man" Gold wonders why people in public life who say they want to improve the image of their profession go around depicting politics as something they should rise above: "Any time an incumbent—President, governor, or mayor—adopts a PR posture of being 'above politics,' it's a fundamental affront to the democratic process and he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it...
...The Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Tee Shirt has no equal as a chic gift for those students, part-time athletes, contemplatives, bon vivants, and other tee shirt aficionados on your Christmas gift list...
...Gold screamed at the bus driver...
...Agnew and most of his staff would have just as soon left us all behind...
...There are people in front of us," I remember one bus driver protesting...
...Through it all Gold has combined a certain insouciance with a manic frenzy that makes people gnash their teeth when Gold is present and miss him after he is gone...
...You can't eat this turkey, but you can wear it...
...In his fine book Running, Chicago Sun-Timescolumnist Bob Greene tells of the occasion in the 1972 campaign when a bus swerved in front of the Agnew press bus, which was parked at a curb outside a hotel waiting for the Vice President's limousine to leave...
...There are also some serious points in this terribly funny book...
...In a Washington peopled with Haldemans and with Ronald L. Ziegler, who • I Don't Need You When I'm Right: The Confessions of a Washington PR Man by Vic Gold William Morrow & Co...
...Gold and the Nixon men were equally misplaced in their beliefs, but Gold never whined about Agnew's "other achievements" when the truth became known...
...I like his anecdote about Sen...
...David S. Broder of the Washington Post recalls a misdirected bus pulling up at the center-field fence of a baseball stadium and Gold pounding on the fence yelling, "Open up in the name of the national press...
...Trying to push political candidates on the open market 'like so much Alka Seltzer.' What manipulative wonders we've witnessed in our time, you see, have been the product not of our PR pros but of men and women, young and old, working from the grassroots level rather than the rarefied atmosphere of the board room...
...Trying to push political candidates on the open market 'like so much Alka Seltzer.' What manipulative wonders we've witnessed in our time, you see, have been the product not of our PR pros but of men and women, young and old, working from the grassroots level rather than the rarefied atmosphere of the board room...
...Senator Joseph Montoya, Democrat of New Mexico, last night told the National Legislative Conference at Albuquerque that...
...We recommend this size for most men and all buxom women...
...30 The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 Book Review/Lon Cannon The Great American Flack "There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to shipwreck...
...In the White House at the same time men were spouting words of loyalty to Richard Nixon and rushing to save themselves...
...g Too Large...
...You can't eat this turkey, but you can wear it...
...In retrospect Gold offers some valuable observations on the limits of PR and PR men...
...In a certain sense Gold himself has been dodging elephant accidents all of his adult life, and most of the elephants were white ones...
...At the 1972 convention a Haldeman-approved memo came up with this instruction: "When the Vice President stands alongside the President on the speaker's rostrum at the convention, make sure he doesn't raise his arms above his head...
...The elephant incident, Gold tells us, was catalogued by H.R...
...He tells how he once wrote 450 pages in three days for the late Everett Dirksen, who needed them for a filibuster...
...In my fifteen years as a PR pro," he writes, "American society witnessed: (1) a black revolution (2) a consumer revolution (3) a youth revolution and (4) a revolution in attitudes toward women and sex...
...The Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Tee Shirt (spotless white on Tyrrell green) comes in two sizes, large and too large...
...Gold is no more inclined to glorify his undertakings than was Frank Skeffington, but he isn't apologizing, either, and he has a truer sense about himself than the people who went to Washington with Nixon and Agnew...
...He has bright observations about the public relations business and even brighter one-liners about politicians he has known...
...David S. Broder of the Washington Post recalls a misdirected bus pulling up at the center-field fence of a baseball stadium and Gold pounding on the fence yelling, "Open up in the name of the national press...
...Run over the people," yelled Gold at the top of his voice...
...I have enclosed in full payment...
...Please rush the following Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Tee Shirts at $5.00 each...
...No one was ever run over, of course...
...please print) Your Name Address City State Zip If this is a gift: Recipient's Name Address City State Zip Gift Card to Read from Christmas Turkeys Five Dollars Each The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 29 liners...
...g Too Large...
...If you don't, let me refresh your memory...
...As a "citizen PR man" Gold wonders why people in public life who say they want to improve the image of their profession go around depicting politics as something they should rise above: "Any time an incumbent—President, governor, or mayor—adopts a PR posture of being 'above politics,' it's a fundamental affront to the democratic process and he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it...
...Gold calmed down only when he was told that Agnew was still in the hotel and that the offending vehicle was a city transit bus taking people home from work...
...Dammit, get in front of him...
...On the second conversation, which made even less progress, I slammed down the phone...
...But Gold also returned all of his phone calls, never lied that I am aware of, never tried to tell me how to write a story, and continually worried about his responsibilities to the traveling press...
...The host committee and the first five rows of spectators scattered...
...Propagandists for causes in which they believed...
...He saved his rage for bus drivers and for those he thought were savaging his boss...
...I never once heard Vic Gold tell me or anyone else that he was "loyal" to Spiro Agnew...
...The elephant incident, Gold tells us, was catalogued by H.R...
...Most of the time he screamed at them, in language not suitable for this or any other magazine, to stay right behind the limousine at all costs to their health, safety, and/or manhood...
...Separately and together these revolutions triggered a massive movement away from traditions andcustoms that had existed for centuries...
...Joseph Montoya, the spearcarrier of the Senate Watergate Committee, getting confused at the National Legislative Conference and reading the press release of the speech he was supposed to give...
...Haldeman...
...Your job is to keep up with the motorcade...
...s or Big Mac Bonds accepted...
...I Don't Need You When I'm Right may be the best political book since The Last Hurrah, and for many of the same reasons...
...There are people in front of us," I remember one bus driver protesting...
...Dirksen didn't even know that Gold was doing the writing...
...how to dress and act on camera...how to cope with aggressive interviewers.' "J...
...In my fifteen years as a PR pro," he writes, "American society witnessed: (1) a black revolution (2) a consumer revolution (3) a youth revolution and (4) a revolution in attitudes toward women and sex...
...The Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Tee Shirt has no equal as a chic gift for those students, part-time athletes, contemplatives, bon vivants, and other tee shirt aficionados on your Christmas gift list...
...Gold, now a columnist, was a member of that vanishing breed of PR men who are proud of their individual achievements without exalting the purpose of their trade...
...I never knew Gold to be quite this polite to bus drivers...
...Walter Thompson, remember...
...In an administration where Chuck Colson had glorified the assault on grandmothers, Gold was invariably kind, thoughtful, and apologetic—when he wasn't screaming at someone...
...Gold considered the remark both accurate and funny...
...He was out of public relations then, trying to keep his distance from Agnew while establishing himself as a columnist, but Gold defended the man he believed in...
...He believes that flacks have been reacting to events while others have been moving them...
...Vic Gold in letter resigning from the Shirley Temple Black account Henry Cabot Lodge was speaking at a Republican rally on Chicago's South Side in 1960 when a hithert...
...Dammit, get in front of him...
...Through it all Gold has combined a certain insouciance with a manic frenzy that makes people gnash their teeth when Gold is present and miss him after he is gone...
...I Don't Need You When I'm Right conveys much of the daily humor of politics,which is, Nixon and McGovern notwithstanding, a very funny business...
...Dreaming up shticks for the grand opening of Howard Johnson Motor Lodges...
...At the 1972 convention a Haldeman-approved memo came up with this instruction: "When the Vice President stands alongside the President on the speaker's rostrum at the convention, make sure he doesn't raise his arms above his head...
...I like his anecdote about Sen...
...In the White House at the same time men were spouting words of loyalty to Richard Nixon and rushing to save themselves...
...Box 877, Bloomington, Indiana 47401, U.S.A...
...Unfortunately, Nixon came along to blow it by holding Agnew's hands over his head...
...Agnew and most of his staff would have just as soon left us all behind...
...In a Washington peopled with Haldemans and with Ronald L. Ziegler, who • I Don't Need You When I'm Right: The Confessions of a Washington PR Man by Vic Gold William Morrow & Co...
...Gold's insights, however, are no hack's...
...I have enclosed in full payment...
...But when Agnew was accused, Gold was certain that it was a plot against the Vice President, perhaps abetted by the White House...
...Lar Also, please send Official Limited Edition Alternative Turkey Buttons at $1 each...
...Send orders, notes, and testimonial letters to The Baron, P.O...
...Sorry, no C.O.D...
...Even funnier is Gold's account of the Haldeman-inspired scripts designed to keep Agnew in his respectful orbit around Nixon...
Vol. 9 • December 1975 • No. 3
