Double-Digit Inflation!!!
Stein, Herbert
Herbert Stein Double-Digit Inflation!!! People say this is a hard, dog-eat-dog business. They're wrong. It's full of sentiment. Take me and Manny, for instance. Every two or three months he calls...
...That infuriates the Congress, and resolutions are introduced to impeach the First Lady...
...Joe," he says, "I've got the picture idea of the century...
...One day he presses the button, the lights flash, the wheels spin, and he gets this print-out, `Double-digit inflation coming.' He can't believe it...
...They ask her what she has to say to the citizens who are angry because selling wheat to the Soviets has raised the price of bread to a dollar a loaf...
...Right...
...Then everybody agrees they should do something about taxes, but the Secretary of the Treasury thinks taxes should be cut to encourage investment and production and the others think taxes should be raised to reduce purchasing power...
...Like the other day...
...I know I'm going to pick up the tab...
...They're afraid of sharks...
...Should he be honest and win or throw the match for the good of the country...
...The President asks him what that means...
...It's about time," I grunted...
...What's the Septet...
...How did he get on that committee...
...I knew I couldn't stop him anyway, so I asked him to tell me the story...
...That's the hard part, and I have to do some more work on that...
...That infuriates the Congress, and resolutions are introduced to impeach the First Lady...
...El The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 19 Herbert Stein Double-Digit Inflation...
...We have a great night scene of a torchlight parade of University of Chicago economists around the Federal Reserve Building, chanting, 'Down with the money supply!' "At the height of the excitement, the President's wife goes on the 60 Minutes television show...
...As soon as we order the martinis, he starts...
...Then everybody agrees they should do something about taxes, but the Secretary of the Treasury thinks taxes should be cut to encourage investment and production and the others think taxes should be raised to reduce purchasing power...
...He gets out a press release...
...It won't work, Manny...
...El The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 19 Herbert Stein Double-Digit Inflation...
...Bingo...
...It won't work, Manny...
...They just listen to be titillated...
...Natural disasters...
...Times have changed...
...We're proud of that Ph.D...
...That's the beauty of the idea," he assured me...
...So, we come to the big climax—the golf match between the President and Meany...
...He says he played golf with Meany to get him to the inflation summit last year, to get him to put in a good word with Solzhenitbyn, and to get him to permit exports of grain to the Russians...
...Like the other day...
...He has to play golf with Meany...
...I see it going something like this: "The President's Special Assistant suggests they should distribute a lot of buttons saying WIN for Whip Inflation Now...
...Anyway, he has this enormous econometric model and this enormous computer...
...I knew I couldn't stop him anyway, so I asked him to tell me the story...
...Pure sentiment...
...Somebody rings your doorbell in Omaha, Nebraska and asks you what you're worried about...
...You're right...
...Pure sentiment...
...But it's all over...
...What's the biggest thing going today...
...Double-digit inflation is here...
...He says he isn't sure, he just read about it in the newspapers, but it seemed to involve the President meeting with leaders of business and labor and asking them not to raise prices and wages too much...
...We can make a movie that'll frighten the pants off them about inflation...
...But, the others urge him and finally he agrees to play, but won't promise to lose...
...So, why do I do it...
...Look," he goes on...
...Well," I was becoming impatient, "that's all window-dressing...
...He finds Meany a charming golfing companion, but he can't stand having to lose every time to a man over eighty...
...But, Meany agrees to the incomes policy and everybody is happy...
...So, you tell him you're worried about inflation...
...I can't tell why...
...Never...
...We all know you're smart...
...An economiics professor at UCLA isn't going to pay the lunch check at Pip's...
...He pushes the button again, same flashing lights, same spinning wheels, same print-out...
...The American people are so guilty over their affluence that they idolize anybody who tells them things are terrible, or are going to be He appears on the Today Show and AM America and goes around the country giving $5,000-a-shot lectures...
...But, nobody knows how to get more oil and wheat, so they're at a dead end...
...The rate of inflation rises to eight percent, then to nine percent, then it's ten percent...
...You know what she answers...
...It's like the struggle between Brody and the white shark, only better, because tens of millions of Americans play golf and how many hunt white sharks...
...I'm sure we'll think of something before we get to the end, if we only put the picture into production...
...You think it makes you sound like Eric Sevareid...
...We've overlooked the biggest one...
...But, Joe, how did the people learn to be afraid of sharks, and earthquakes, and so on...
...The question is, how are you going to stop the double-digit inflation...
...The President asks him what that means...
...It's the President's top committee of economic advisers...
...Anyway, he has this enormous econometric model and this enormous computer...
...It's like the struggle between Brody and the white shark, only better, because tens of millions of Americans play golf and how many hunt white sharks...
...Do you tell him you're afraid of being possessed by a devil...
...As soon as we order the martinis, he starts...
...He knows where the buttons could be gotten cheap...
...It's about time," I grunted...
...But it's all over...
...They're afraid of sharks...
...Let 'em eat piroshkes!' she says...
...The principals won't come to a meeting unless they're sure a photographer will be there...
...They learned it from the movies...
...The principals won't come to a meeting unless they're sure a photographer will be there...
...But, don't tell me what people are afraid of...
...You don't want to be sent to the funny-farm...
...The Chairman of the CEA says that monetary growth ought to be restricted, but the Chairman of the Federal Reserve says that's a superficial idea...
...The kid had obviously worked hard on this, but I had to tell nim the truth...
...But, the President doesn't like that idea...
...Then we switch to Washington...
...it's too little oil and wheat...
...It's not show business...
...You think it makes you sound like Eric Sevareid...
...Do you tell him you're afraid of being possessed by a devil...
...The match has angles...
...What's the Septet...
...He finds Meany a charming golfing companion, but he can't stand having to lose every time to a man over eighty...
...Things like that...
...Maybe he went to Harvard and teaches at UCLA...
...The kid had obviously worked hard on this, but I had to tell nim the truth...
...Finally, the photographer comes up with the suggestion that they should have an incomes policy...
...What's the biggest thing going today...
...Double-digit inflation is here...
...I can guess," I reply wearily...
...We get some wonderful panic shots...
...But, the polls...
...So I invite him to lunch at Pip's...
...The problem, hesays, is not too much money...
...You know what she answers...
...Pure sentiment...
...No...
...I know I'm going to pick up the tab...
...The rate of inflation rises to eight percent, then to nine percent, then it's ten percent...
...Maybe it's because we went to the same high school...
...Don't be silly...
...At first people don't believe him...
...But, the others urge him and finally he agrees to play, but won't promise to lose...
...Somebody rings your doorbell in Omaha, Nebraska and asks you what you're worried about...
...I see it going something like this: "The President's Special Assistant suggests they should distribute a lot of buttons saying WIN for Whip Inflation Now...
...So I invite him to lunch at Pip's...
...The match has angles...
...Did he recheck his model and his computer...
...Well," I was becoming impatient, "that's all window-dressing...
...Do you tell him you're worried about sharks...
...Let 'em eat piroshkes!' she says...
...Then what...
...Things like that...
...You're right...
...The century's three-quarters over...
...But, the polls...
...So, why do I do it...
...Next year you can have a sequel called, 'The Return of Double-Digit Inflation.' " I thought for several minutes...
...The Director of OMB says the next thing on his list for cutting is the Internal Revenue Service, and the Secretary withdraws the suggestion...
...It's not only a golf contest between the President and Meany, but also psychological battle within the President...
...The Secretary of the Treasury argues for cutting spending...
...He says he played golf with Meany to get him to the inflation summit last year, to get him to put in a good word with Solzhenitbyn, and to get him to permit exports of grain to the Russians...
...Don't be silly...
...Then what...
...Women storming the supermarkets to buy up the aluminum foil before the hoarders get there...
...I'm sure we'll think of something before we get to the end, if we only put the picture into production...
...Oh, he's on all the high-level committees...
...That's the way it always is...
...I couldn't help asking...
...On the eighteenth hole the President misses a seven-inch putt and loses the match...
...I couldn't help asking...
...Maybe it's because we went to the same high school...
...The question is, how are you going to stop the double-digit inflation...
...But, then we see the monthly price indexes creeping up...
...But, you've told me a hundred times that an incomes policy won't stop inflation," I complained...
...The President likes this idea, but the Secretary of Labor warns him that he can't do it without the approval of George Meany and he knows what that requires...
...We can get Nicklaus and Weiskopf to shoot the golf balls...
...It includes the Secretary of the Treasury, the Secretary of Labor, the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, the Director of the Office of Management and Budget, the Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers, the President's Special Assistant for Economic Affairs, and the White House photographer...
...Well, we start with an economist...
...I know about polls...
...We never know whether he missed the putt on purpose or not...
...They learned it from the movies...
...He gets out a press release...
...We get some wonderful panic shots...
...There seemed to be a lot of good photo opportunities in it...
...But, then we see the monthly price indexes creeping up...
...He calls an emergency meeting of the Septet...
...There seemed to be a lot of good photo opportunities in it...
...Every two or three months he calls me up and says he has a great idea for a picture...
...Numero Uno on every pollster's list of what people are most afraid of...
...It's too realistic...
...The Director of OMB says the next thing on his list for cutting is the Internal Revenue Service, and the Secretary withdraws the suggestion...
...Did he recheck his model and his computer...
...We can get Nicklaus and Weiskopf to shoot the golf balls...
...At first people don't believe him...
...I can guess," I reply wearily...
...But, don't tell me what people are afraid of...
...I can't tell why...
...Every two or three months he calls me up and says he has a great idea for a pi...
...he plows on...
...Is it because he might have a commercial idea...
...Maybe he went to Harvard and teaches at UCLA...
...He knows where the buttons could be gotten cheap...
...An economiics professor at UCLA isn't going to pay the lunch check at Pip's...
...Next year you can have a sequel called, 'The Return of Double-Digit Inflation.' " I thought for several minutes...
...The Secretary of the Treasury argues for cutting spending...
...You don't want to be sent to the funny-farm...
...Bingo...
...So, I would have them meet in the Oval Office...
...Do you tell him you're worried about sharks...
...So the President decides he better do something about the inflation...
...On the eighteenth hole the President misses a seven-inch putt and loses the match...
...So, you tell him you're worried about inflation...
...The Chairman of the CEA says that monetary growth ought to be restricted, but the Chairman of the Federal Reserve says that's a superficial idea...
...We can make a movie that'll frighten the pants off them about inflation...
...We have a great night scene of a torchlight parade of University of Chicago economists around the Federal Reserve Building, chanting, 'Down with the money supply!' "At the height of the excitement, the President's wife goes on the 60 Minutes television show...
...We've overlooked the biggest one...
...He calls an emergency meeting of the Septet...
...But, nobody knows how to get more oil and wheat, so they're at a dead end...
...Oh, he's on all the high-level committees...
...The President likes this idea, but the Secretary of Labor warns him that he can't do it without the approval of George Meany and he knows what that requires...
...Easy...
...The century's three-quarters over...
...We're proud of that Ph.D...
...Maybe it's because he's my brother...
...Numero Uno on every pollster's list of what people are most afraid of...
...He has to play golf with Meany...
...So, we come to the big climax—the golf match between the President and Meany...
...No, we haven't...
...That's the beauty of the idea," he assured me...
...Then we switch to Washington...
...you got from Harvard...
...Look," he goes on...
...Double-digit inflation...
...Never...
...He pays no attention...
...I know about polls...
...How did he get on that committee...
...Double-digit inflation...
...The American people are so guilty over their affluence that they idolize anybody who tells them things are terrible, or are going to be He appears on the Today Show and AM America and goes around the country giving $5,000-a-shot lectures...
...Right...
...Anyway, I thought at first of having the President and the Septet go up to Camp David in helicopters for the meeting...
...The problem, hesays, is not too much money...
...One day he presses the button, the lights flash, the wheels spin, and he gets this print-out, `Double-digit inflation coming.' He can't believe it...
...It includes the Secretary of the Treasury, the Secretary of Labor, the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, the Director of the Office of Management and Budget, the Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers, the President's Special Assistant for Economic Affairs, and the White House photographer...
...Finally, the photographer comes up with the suggestion that they should have an incomes policy...
...He pushes the button again, same flashing lights, same spinning wheels, same print-out...
...It's not show business...
...Massive traffic jams on the throughways, as all the workers get into their campers and rush to Florida for one last vacation before their money becomes worthless...
...Should he be honest and win or throw the match for the good of the country...
...But, Meany agrees to the incomes policy and everybody is happy...
...Times have changed...
...It's the President's top committee of economic advisers...
...No...
...So the President decides he better do something about the inflation...
...They ask her what she has to say to the citizens who are angry because selling wheat to the Soviets has raised the price of bread to a dollar a loaf...
...Women storming the supermarkets to buy up the aluminum foil before the hoarders get there...
...That's the hard part, and I have to do some more work on that...
...Joe," he says, "I've got the picture idea of the century...
...But, the President doesn't like that idea...
...But, you've told me a hundred times that an incomes policy won't stop inflation," I complained...
...And we start with the advantage that they're already frightened, even if you're half right about the polls...
...They're afraid of earthquakes, burning skyscrapers, capsizing luxury liners...
...We've run out of disasters...
...He says he isn't sure, he just read about it in the newspapers, but it seemed to involve the President meeting with leaders of business and labor and asking them not to raise prices and wages too much...
...They just listen to be titillated...
...The President balks at this...
...Well, we start with an economist...
...They're afraid of earthquakes, burning skyscrapers, capsizing luxury liners...
...Anyway, I thought at first of having the President and the Septet go up to Camp David in helicopters for the meeting...
...Natural disasters...
...We never know whether he missed the putt on purpose or not...
...And we start with the advantage that they're already frightened, even if you're half right about the polls...
...Pure sentiment...
...it's too little oil and wheat...
...Is it because he might have a commercial idea...
...But, Joe, how did the people learn to be afraid of sharks, and earthquakes, and so on...
...It would have been a good cinema, but I was afraid the Eastern press would say it was too Nixonian and 18 The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 would pan it...
...No, we haven't...
...Maybe it's because he's my brother...
...Massive traffic jams on the throughways, as all the workers get into their campers and rush to Florida for one last vacation before their money becomes worthless...
...The President balks at this...
...It's not only a golf contest between the President and Meany, but also psychological battle within the President...
...he plows on...
...That's the way it always is...
...Famous UCLA economist, Nobel prize candidate, predicts double-digit inflation.' " "And then I suppose the public ostracizes him, the way it always did Paul Muni and Don Ameche when they discovered something in the old movies...
...It would have been a good cinema, but I was afraid the Eastern press would say it was too Nixonian and 18 The Alternative: An American Spectator December 1975 would pan it...
...We've run out of disasters...
...The White House photographer...
...Every two or three months he calls me up and says he has a great idea for a picture...
...He pays no attention...
...But, still, the next time he calls with an idea, I'll ask him to lunch again...
...Look kid...
...The White House photographer...
...We all know you're smart...
...It's too realistic...
...Easy...
...Famous UCLA economist, Nobel prize candidate, predicts double-digit inflation.' " "And then I suppose the public ostracizes him, the way it always did Paul Muni and Don Ameche when they discovered something in the old movies...
...But, still, the next time he calls with an idea, I'll ask him to lunch again...
...Look kid...
...So, I would have them meet in the Oval Office...
...you got from Harvard...
Vol. 9 • December 1975 • No. 3
