The Continuing Crisis
The Continuing Crisis • ^ A traditional North American August, the heat was so intense that many Americans dreamt of taking a holiday in equatorial Africa, and as the month crept on it grew...
...after all, his proposal has more than a whiff of the 1972 Democratic platform to it...
...henceforth all manhole covers will be referred to as personhole covers...
...Marvin J. Rosenblum who is proposing that Americans observe the solemnity of next July 4 by forming a human chain from coast to coast...
...Progressive Satellite Beach, Florida, has erased yet another vestige of the Dark Ages...
...Thomas C. Hauser, a young lawyer, admitted that he was the real author of those cute letters supposedly written to public officials by a nine-year-old boy and published on the Times op-ed page...
...Finally facing up to the marvel of her own virtue, Mother Gandhi has assumed absolute control of Indian society...
...Earl Ray Hackett, who stood before him celebrating life by smearing human feces on his hands and clothes...
...Lloyd Thoren of Petersburg, Indiana, who has been awarded "Atheist of the Year" by the American Atheist convention...
...Robert Kennedy, and on August 23 the hoary and discredited domino theory was discredited even further when the Communist Pathet Lao announced they had seized power in the kingdom of Laos and established what they impishly call a revolutionary government—no one was reported injured...
...Further, the progressive Indian parliament spent much of early August rescinding obsolete legislation like that flagitious election law that threatened to retire Mother Gandhi to San Clemente...
...And Supreme Court Justice William 0. Douglas is reputedly feeling fit once again...
...as more of a threat to world peace than Russia or China, the venerable National Institute of Mental Health announced that roughly twenty million Americans suffer some form of unreported mental illness...
...Neither is it a child's game," while urging the armed forces to "draw the correct lessons from the event...
...In a fussy statement the publisher of the Pentagon Papers asserted that Mr...
...A Pennsylvania court held that that comely turnpike toll-booth attendant, discharged for copulating with a truck driver in her toll booth during working hours, was not entitled to back pay upon reinstatement...
...Ford's crusade for sexual enlightenment, Victorian inhibitions persist...
...In Crown Point, Indiana, Judge James Clement came down on behalf/of the forces of fuddy duddyism when he brusquely postponed the sentencing of youthful murderer Mr...
...Tremors of fear were felt through Washington when pro-Western forces launched a successful coup against Sheik Mujibur Rahman, the good-government head of Bangla Desh...
...Higher education continues to offer Americans vast mounds of luscious humor...
...According to Mr...
...John Jandali, Ph.D., whose formative years were spent at the United Nations Relief and Works Agency, hoodwinked the faculty into allowing him to teach a course on Egyptian politics in scenic Cairo...
...At any rate and notwithstanding Mrs...
...And oratory reminiscent of Thomas Jefferson and James Madison was again heard in our nation's capital when Congressman John L. Burton took to the floor of the House declaring "Forced utilization of pay toilets...a regressive tax that hits hardest at feminine persons, although masculine persons must bear part of the burden...
...Rosenblum a front-runner for the 1976 Democratic Presidential nomination...
...He just went bananas," exclaimed a prudish bailiff...
...In Munich, capitalist impresario Mr...
...Betty Ford, the garrulous and vacant first lady who seems to have dedicated her public life to proving that Martha Mitchell was indeed the wave of the future...
...Norman Cousins, we hear you...
...Ford's idiocy, a Chinese sex manual abounding with dark admonitions against enormities like masturbation: the cause of cerebral overstimulation, dizziness, insomnia, general weakness, and "the erosion of revolutionary will"—afflictions in'vincible even to the wizardry of acupuncture...
...Thoren's rural telephone company is the only one in America tc fczture a "Dial-an-Atheist" line...
...Good point, that...
...And scowls were seen at the New York Times when Mr...
...On August 21 the Labor Department announced that consumer prices rose in July by the largest amount for any month this year, making it the second consecutive month of substantial increases...
...In Cotonou, Dahomey, revolutionary life has finally returned to normalcy after that shocking event that induced President Mathieu Kerekou to call out the army, crack down on dissidents, and dramatically proclaim on Radio Cotonou that "the revolution is not a gala dinner...
...Back in the United States the Bicentennial fever continues to inspire the noblest of sentiments...
...Most of her asseverations were merely Washington gauche, but here continual suggestions regarding the voluptuous uses to which she puts the Fords' "king-size" bed are best described as pathetic...
...Said a buoyant associate, "Bill feels as though he were seventy-five again, and he looks it too...
...At a meeting of New York liberals, Senator Birch Bayh raised his voice above the din of catcalls and guffaws directed at his Bicentennial tie and augustly declared that he was running for President so that it would become "possible for an American to wear a patriotic tit without being embarrassed...
...While the capitalist horror continues to grip American life, Indian social democracy has struck another breathtaking blow for human progress...
...Ford delivered up her views on constitutional law, moral philosophy, family life, drugs, and premarital sex amongst teenagers, all with the kind of rude ignorance that the media takes for candor...
...Some have dismissed the proposal as hopelessly visionary, but insiders speculate that ideas like this could make Mr...
...I hope that we, as a community, will use it constructively in our efforts to become sensitive, concerned human beings with a keen awareness of our obligations to others and a deep commitment to the requirements and the importance of due process...
...For instance there was that gorgeous swindle at the University of Puget Sound where Mr...
...Just days before the Washington Post published a Congressional poll revealing that some freshman liberals regard the U.S...
...The Continuing Crisis • ^ A traditional North American August, the heat was so intense that many Americans dreamt of taking a holiday in equatorial Africa, and as the month crept on it grew difficult to say which became more insufferable, the weather or Mrs...
...And an even more high-minded thought comes from Chicago's Mr...
...Freedom lives...
...RETjr 2 The Alternative: An American Spectator October 1975...
...Serious students of world politics will recall that "the event" took place on June 21 when Mr...
...A comic episode to be sure, but an episode whose richness was actually enhanced by the orotund UPS president who, hearing of Mr...
...Now personally ministering to the lives of six hundred million Indians and millions more cows, she is also seeing to it that members of the loyal opposition receive three nutritious meals per day and ample rest and relaxation in a scientifically designed total environment...
...In two interviews released during the month Mrs...
...Rosenbium's calculations such an awesome patriotic display could be accomplished with only two percent of the population standing along the interstate highway system...
...There is going to be a new assessment of the evidence in the assassination of Mr...
...And in New York a Brooklyn Heights man was summarily arrested for attempting to sexually abuse a park bench...
...Charles Manson has applied for membership in the California Civil Liberties Union...
...James Hoffa has become like unto Howard Hughes...
...involve serious questions of ethics...
...And the very heart of revolutionary democracy is threatened in Portugal where misanthropic citizens are demanding reactionary desiderata like freedom of speech, majority rule, and political parties...
...The classic political confrontation...
...Kerekou burst into the home of Interior Minister Michel Aikpe, found him flagrante delicto with Dahomey's first lady, and shot him to death as he fled naked on his government bicycle...
...Hauser's "misrepresentations...
...According to a bill introduced by this great person, any organization using these odious devices in its comfort station will ipso facto lose its federal funding...
...Jandali's unscheduled sabbatical, seized the moment for goo-goo ritual: "This has been a most unfortunate and distressing experience for everyone concerned...
...While the world howled with laughter at the Sensuous First Lady, the People's Republic of China redeemed American honor by rushing forth with the reverse of Mrs...
...Finally, felicitations to Mr...
...Ever aware of their social responsibilities, the Ku Klux Klan of central Tennessee has replaced its traditional fiery cross with, electric crosses, which do not pollute the air or constitute fire hazards...
...Hans Beirlein purchased the rights to "The Internationale," allowing him to reap royalties every time the socialist anthem pipes up in West Germany, East Germany, Austria, or Switzerland...
...No sooner had he landed his gullible students in their Cairo dormitories than he gathered up their combined boodle and hot-footed it to Las Vegas...
Vol. 9 • October 1975 • No. 1
