The Continuing Crisis
The Continuing Crisis • • ^ April brought a further discrediting to the once warmly debated domino theory. In fact, so discredited has the domino theory become that hardly a dove can be found to...
...And the doctrine of the people's right to know received a notable boost when that country's four daily newspapers published nude photographs of former foreign minister, Miss Elizabeth Bagaaya...
...By the end of the month Australia was reviewing its defense capability as Lieutenant General Sir Mervyn Brogan stated that he saw a "subversive threat to Indonesia and ourselves...
...Come here, you coward," yelled the engooed Mr...
...Then they set up an election tilted so as to give a large vote to the Communists or to assure a large number of blank votes...
...The Communists mustered only 12% and the blanks did worse...
...Another lady went on a tour of Colonial America with stops at some of the most elegant fashion spots in Washington and New York...
...From Vietnam some one hundred thousand refugees straggled into America, setting off an annoying chorus of yelps from Americans who feared their jobs would be jeopardized by this melange of immigrants—mostly doctors, lawyers, civil engineers, intellectuals, and prostitutes...
...Thailand's Foreign Minister Chatichai Choonhavan denounced the United States as a country "without morals," declaring that all American troops would be expelled from Thailand within a year, while his government waxed loveydovey toward the Communist governments of Cambodia and South Vietnam and the Philippines began reviewing its policy vis-a-vis the United States...
...And finally the Communists and Socialists combined to make their May Day celebration such an embarrassment that some observers suspected that their ranks had been infiltrated by the American Democratic Party...
...Indeed, hardly a dove can be found to discuss any aspect of Southeast Asia...
...First they attempted to show their revolutionary solidarity with the progressive peoples of the world by returning the three-hundred-year-old Portuguese colony of Macao to Red China...
...Kunstler's face...
...Despite his tragic passing, his spouse, Nessie, is writing the program's producers to "thank them for making Alex's last minutes so happy...
...Chad is now governed by a General Noel Odingar, one of that progressive republic's first disc jockeys...
...War suddenly broke out in Laos, and on the day before South Vietnam was surrendered to the Communists by perhaps the fattest general in South Vietnam, the New York Times reported the recrudescence of war in Thailand...
...And so a chorus of Bronx cheers for the domino theory as it hunkers down the corridors of history along with such other laughingstocks as "containment," "balanced budgets," and the "Copernican theory...
...It was reported that Miss Elizabeth Taylor has amoebic dysentery...
...about two-thirds of South Vietnam tumbled...
...First they marched upon South Vietnam's central highlands...
...The discredited domino theory, originally propounded by President Eisenhower, elucidated the naive view that were one Southeast Asian country to fall to Communist aggressors other coterminous nations would tumble "like a row of dominoes...
...At the end of the month Newsweek reported that a "massive bloodbath" was reforming Cambodia...
...Violence continues to stalk the land of the free...
...William Kunstler, the modern Darrow, had no sooner asserted that "American students have no spirit left" than an American student, armed with an American-made chocolate cream pie, launched it...
...But if things went awry for the American government, consider the miseries of the left-wing military government of Portugal...
...You can label this jostling," smiled the popular Senator as he galloped along in front of the enraged mob...
...Then they tightened the noose around Cambodia's capital...
...The pedagogues, armed with syllogisms and superior erudition, made short shrift of it, and by the early seventies it had slipped into the New York Times Style Book as the "discredited-domino-theory...
...Tombalbaye was shot dead when Chad army forces stormed his palace in Ndjamena, killing 16 members of the palace guard, 12 chickens, and the presidential oxen...
...In England the possible dangers of excessive humor on television will be investigated by a Royal Commission in the melancholy aftermath of the death of . Mr...
...His inherent delicacy restrained him from explaining how this feat was accomplished...
...Kunstler, as he picked himself up from beneath the creamy debris...
...Mitchell, a King's Lynn bricklayer, was seized by a fit of uncontrollable laughter while watching the comedy show, "Goodies," and died after 25 minutes of fatal hilarity...
...Despite the fact that America's social revolution is finally bearing fruit, the foul spirit of enterprise still permeates American life and occasionally intrudes where it is least expected...
...James Stackhouse set fire to his landlord, Mr...
...The Chinese refused it...
...Ngarta Tombalbaye, is definitely on the wane...
...Cooper rolled over on it during his afternoon nap...
...Addressing a Vanderbilt University audience, Mr...
...Meanwhile, Chadologists in the State Department say it is still too early to predict the future orientation of that volatile African nation, but the political career of Chad's erstwhile president, Mr...
...On April 17 Cambodia fell...
...But—though the pedagogues can work prodigies in their seminars—nothing so expediently discredits theory as practice, and it took Communist armies merely six weeks to expose the theory for the absurdity that it is...
...The pet suffocated when the loutish Mr...
...For that matter, the unusual quiet which befell Capitol Hill as the news of Southeast Asia worsened was about the only pleasant news during the month...
...And in Philadelphia Mr...
...From Kampala in scenic Uganda comes word that the government has rounded up a large number of businessmen and flogged them at government expense for hoarding beetle wine...
...Finally, on May 2 North Vietnam ordered the United States out of South Korea, and South Korea began a review of its national security policies...
...Arnold Cooper, for killing Stackhouse's cat...
...On April 23 he warned of the increasing power of the Soviet navy, just as that navy entered upon a world-wide maneuver, its most extensive naval exercise since World War II and an exercise almost wholly neglected by the American press...
...One woman went to Europe to learn how to cook because she "liked to give dinner parties and wanted expertise in fine wines and foods...
...Consider that $3,750,000 fund that the government forced the Bank of America to establish in order to redress sexual inequalities and to train women for higher-level jobs...
...But the assailant made good his escape, and Mr...
...On April 17 ex-Secretary of the Treasury, John Connally, was acquitted of bribery charges, and Mayor Richard J. Daley, the traditional mayor of Chicago, scotched newspaper reports that his son was about to marry a princess of a local mafioso by declaring that Miss Mary Lou (Pretzels and Beer) Briatta "is a good Catholic, college-educated girl, who paints and plays the flu...
...into Mr...
...Alexander Mitchell...
...In Weston, Massachusetts, the most popular Presidential candidate in the United States was driven from a speakers' dais by a mob of disgruntled citizens led by a gaunt, humorless woman who continually jabbed him with "a tiny American flag on a stick...
...Unfortunately the journalists did not follow the politicians into hiding, and America was soon awash in an idiotic spate of lurid headlines celebrating what the journalists seemed to consider America's international abasement during the surrender of Cambodia and South Vietnam—this after Congress did everything humanly possible to insure that no other outcome was possible...
...In fact, so discredited has the domino theory become that hardly a dove can be found to discuss the issue...
...Flabbergasted" is how federal judge Charles B. Renfrew described his feelings when he discovered that the fund's female directors had used it to send female friends on world junkets whose rationales had a queer ring to them...
...President Ford continues to sweat it out...
...RE1...
...At Yale he delivered a remarkably intelligent speech on law and order, which caused visible alarm amongst the students and apparently induced sleep in the press box...
...And in response to the last sepulchral events of Southeast Asia he delivered several speeches, which Christian charity enjoins us not to dwell upon other than to mention that, just as he generously joined his Democratic colleagues in a plea against blaming others for the collapse, Speaker of the House Carl Albert notified a Democratic fundraising dinner that it was the Democrats who brought an end to war in Southeast Asia...
...Actually, April might have seen the public discourse assume a dignity it has not had for over a decade, if only our journalists were as cowardly as our politicians...
...Kunstler was left to ponder the diabolical lengths to which the CIA will go to wipe out vestiges of American civil liberties...
Vol. 8 • June 1975 • No. 9
