The Continuing Crisis
The Continuing Crisis - GIBBON NEVER saw the like of it! It is indubitably the ugliest piece of household furniture since the torture board, and yet for twenty years the average Americano has been mysteriously...
...having just returned from his home state where he had been driven from a stage and pelted with eggs and tomatoes for his busing votes, declared that Mr...
...the baby bulldog o the U.S...
...move on...
...Nelson Rockefeller, a retired New York politician and art collector, as his choice for the vice presidency after a brief White House meeting...
...Three hundred foreign intellectuals, including Noam Chomsky, Simone de Beauvoir, and Howard Zinn, have signed a protest condemning India, long regarded as the Aunt Jane of world humanism, for nothing less than the incarceration and torture of political prisoners...
...They got it at the American Bar Association, compliments of U.S...
...Vermont Royster...
...They then settled down i grouse and moan at their "Wonder Won en Conference," a conference who: eponym is drawn from one of the prii cipal intellectual wellsprings of "tl movement," the comic book seri( "Wonder Woman"—and so life col tinues to imitate art in the supermark Republic...
...Attorney George Beall, defender of public virtue...
...Senator Birch Bayh (D.–Ind...
...judged that Mr...
...Despite his botch he wobbled off with six million dollars for wowing the gulls...
...Ford was destroying "200 years of history and tradition of equal justice for all...
...NY...
...The Turks and the Greek Cypriot( are still at odds, as are the Democrats who met in Kansas City to confirm th( suspicion that they learned nothing fron the last election...
...Nixon for any possible illegality he may have committed during the Watergate unpleasantness...
...Representative Jerome Waldie (D.–Calif...
...John D. Ehrlichman, and not a month had passed before Emperor Haile Selassie was denied his feathers...
...Huey Newton, humanitarian from the streets...
...Ford's impeachment, as did various mobs around the country...
...And in New Delhi, egg still encrusts the faces of many a high government panjandrum...
...The incomparable Senator Teddy Kennedy (D.–Mass...
...And from Newarl comes proof that blacks really are enter ing the middle class, for it was in tha lovely city that black Mayor Kennett A. Gibson was embarrassed by severa days of public disturbance and rampagt from the Puerto Rican minority...
...when the commoner impertinently got palsy-walsy and called Mr...
...Newton became a fugitive from the law when he failed to appear in an Oakland court to face charges growing out of a remarkable spree of humanitarianism, which included pummeling two black gendarmes who refused his offer of free drinks, pausing on a street corner to bash a young black girl with his nonviolent revolver before shooting her in the head...
...recital of "Bumble Boogie," had it n( been for the moronic interlopers froi the National Organization for Wome who staged a "Wonder Woman Parade" o the same day as the Miss Americ Pageant...
...III On a more hopeful note...
...Put that down as a dramati example of conflict of interest, an...
...All those virtuous pols, who only days before had been gazing skyward in pious gratitude for the passing of Watergate and the emerging spirit of conciliation, were bellowing about treachery in high places and showing stupendous ingenuity in confecting grave and complicated questions of legality and justice...
...Beall's lecture to the ABA on "Public Morality" that the Washington Post published excerpts from it under the headline "Essays on Ethics," only to discover that the idealistic Mr...
...Hiram McIntosh who was mistaken for a squirrel and shot three times...
...Boston's Mr...
...There was the spectacle near Twin Falls, Idaho, where an idiot littered garbage all over the Snake River Canyon during his celebrated failure to soar over it in a steam rocket...
...They got it in Oakland, California, compliments of Mr...
...At any rate the idiot box has been giving Americans a voluptuous basting for such a long time that they now appear to he genuinely addicted to regular jolts of gory spectacle...
...III Instantly the same old mobs were marching in the streets, and all the moral engines were hissing, sputtering, and extruding their familiar gasses...
...But poor Mr...
...Ford later called together twenty-eight economists to discuss inflation, and in Toledo, Ohio Mr...
...and the four weeks of calm following Mr...
...Such is the integrity of the erudite U.S...
...It could last 594 years...
...Will dirty tricks never end...
...young Mr...
...House of Representatives, ha demanded a new standard of beauty fo women...
...He was hoping that his action would preserve "the tranquility to which this nation has been restored...
...But these were not the only mountebanks whipping up spectacles in late August and early September...
...Ford's investiture were apparently too much for them...
...McIntosh recovering...
...Representative Bell Abzug (D...
...In his untimely venture into Christian charity Mr...
...Newton "baby" during a fitting in the young reformer's sumptuous penthouse apartment...
...Ford, whose thoughts in late August and early September had been of amnesty, obviously did not understand how a people addicted to traumatic spectacle felt about tranquility and conciliation...
...For many years the Miss Arne] ica Contest has appeared to be a pre ty puerile affair, and so it would hay come off this year when the winne Miss Shirley Cothran, entranced th contest's High and Mighties with a flu...
...and finally, pistolwhipping his fifty-two-year-old black tailor, Preston Callins...
...Spiro Agnew and in so doing ushered in a whole new era of probity in politics...
...Nevertheless prospects for the world's future brightened when U.N...
...Elmer Wayne Henley...
...Beall's eloquence had been plagiarized from an American Scholar essay by Mr...
...Ford stated his fear that the trial of Mr...
...Maury (Steamtrain Maury) Graham, the retired King of the Hoboes, (no relation to the Washington Post's Katharine Graham) revealed grim economic news when he stated that hoboes, who for years have charted inflation by the length of discarded cigar and cigarette butts, now find the "people are smoking 'em clear down to the end...
...On August 16th a subpoena was issued on former president Richard M. Nixon at the request of a lawyer for Mr...
...doubted that President Ford was capable of governing, and Representative John Conyers (D.–Mich...
...Ford's "instincts are clearly out of touch with the vast majority of the people...
...Final ly, from Atlantic City comes one of th, most unsurprising demands ever mad, by a lady liberationist or at least a worn en's liberationist...
...now convicted of the homosexual torturing and murder of six teenage boys, is embarking on one of the most extensive studies of sociology and the Bible ever undertaken...
...Nixon would "cause prolonged and divisive debate over the propriety of exposing to further punishment and degradation a man who has already paid the unprecedented penalty of relinquishing the highest elective office in the United States...
...Secretary General Kurt Waldheim warned that social and economic perplexities threaten the world with "a crisis of extraordinary dimensions...
...They are demanding from life the same gorgeous traumatizing they are getting from their art...
...Attorney who prosecuted Mr...
...President Ford designated Mr...
...What highjinks ensued...
...But there is other news to report...
...for it will run simultaneously with his 594year prison sentence.Police in Bloomington Indiana are still investigating the unfortunate and unusual case of Mr...
...By September tith they wore yearning for another shot of trauma when President Ford pardoned Mr...
...ever the practical statesman, called for Mr...
...And thrill-addicted Americanoes got a good brisk trepanning in other locales too...
...It is indubitably the ugliest piece of household furniture since the torture board, and yet for twenty years the average Americano has been mysteriously drawn to it in an irrational nocturnal procession suggesting that we who snicker at devotees of the occult may not have the last snicker...
...Jim Randi spent forty-four minutes sealed in a cake of ice...
...So inspirational was Mr...
Vol. 8 • November 1974 • No. 2
