The Bootblack Stand
Plunkitt, George Washington
them they they have no significant sexual • Utc vt,f ia. E:slues, next year the sexual freedom fighters might do better. But if they are to be answered, it cannot be by the inflation of an...
...I think they're wrong...
...Personally I have never met an alcoholic who did not have wonderfully dilated arterials, a voluptuous blood flow, and superb laxation...
...They don't praise him for being a humble ,male chauvinist, even though I think he's altogether too humble...
...but this is what they think they believe...
...Something of the same calculus has to be performed on American marriage away from the frontier...
...Strong drink lightens the spirit and takes off the chill, so to speak...
...Tyrrell, Jr.'s health...
...Demon Rum can be a cruel master...
...We are an equal opportunity employer...
...They won't marry you because they feel sorry for you, George...
...Cordially, Kenneth Turnipseed, Press Secretary to Wilbur D. Mills, M.C...
...Mills' solicitude for Mr...
...Tyrrell, Jr...
...Even in the Canadian North, there's a limit to the investment anyone would make for the sake of monogamy, and a shrewd planner will stop short of advocating the capital investment that would be required to induce Gloria Steinem to settle down for the winter as the wife of a crane operator (we might do a little better with Germaine Greer...
...it must set the problems of marriage against the problems of singlehood...
...Gilder's bitter incrimination of the singles life is unilluminated by a discussion of marriage, and while I agree that society has an interest in marriage, it does not follow from the blues of bachelorhood that there is not grave difficulty in wedlock...
...But if they are to be answered, it cannot be by the inflation of an apothegm...
...Tyrrell, Jr...
...rThe by George Bootblack Washington Stand Plunkitt Dear Dr...
...Bernard rescue dog lugging a gallon of milk around its neck, did you...
...The fact that he portrays his sex as naked nomads and pitiful incompetents wins him no merit badges...
...Since that time he has treated his body as though it were a precious vessel...
...Those girls could go right to the top.' " Mr...
...In the present mood of their spokespersons, women are insulted by the suggestion that they should be motivated by anything other than self-advancement...
...Mills would be glad to use his good offices, not only at Bethesda but at any of the other numerous hospitals frequented by Congressmen in this area...
...Several years ago Mr...
...Tyrrell became attracted to the or- ganic foods movement and then to various health foods...
...Wilbur D. Mills, and many other legislators and members of the press corps received a copy of the following press release from your editor, a Mr...
...Mills wants to warn your colleague against the treachery of spirituous drink...
...The press release read: "For Immediate Release "(Bloomington, Indiana)—Describing American immigration authorities' refusal to process three female employees of Annie's Saigon Bar as one of the "most blatant acts of male chauvinism and arrant bigotry displayed by America in many years," R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr., editor-in-chief of The Alternative magazine of Bloomington, Indiana, announced today that he, the magazine's publisher, and the magazine's managing editor, intend to sponsor the three young women and to see to it that they are brought into the country with the rest of the South Vietnamese refugees...
...To be persuasive, a contemporary argument for monogamy must measure both sides, not merely one...
...Swear off the jug, Mr...
...has been overworking and would like to take a sabbatical to Bethesda Naval Hospital, Mr...
...If Gilder wants women to demand that single men marry thew._ he will, I think, have to persuade them that men are at least slightly better than the useless sad-sacks he depicts...
...It is ironic that because Gilder hopes women will choose virtue, he is labeled by Time magazine the number one male chauvinist of our time...
...They don't want to be the bearers of virtue, as Lynda Nochlin, a Vassar teacher, scornfully puts it...
...You are taking an unduly negative position toward one of nature's most benign forces...
...He drinks only for his health, though I have often seen him make the educative gesture of drinking "to" the health of others...
...GWP 30 The Alternative: An American Spectator August/September 1975...
...P.S.: Senator Kennedy joins Mr...
...The whiskeys he favors are laced with corn, and, for energy, sugar...
...Sobriety is the only enduring high...
...We would love to have these women in the office,' Tyrrell said...
...Tyrrell, Jr...
...I quote it in its rather odd entirety so that you will get the full flavor of your editor's recent activities and perhaps understand Mr...
...Mills in his concern...
...not the ones you want...
...I suggest you give this matter some more thought, Mr...
...Tyrrell is asking for the support of all 'serious civil libertarians' in his attempt to bring the women to America...
...Unmarried himself, as he constantly reminds us he is, Gilder tends to romanticize the monogamous way of life...
...Turnipseed...
...not today...
...You never heard of a St...
...Plunkitt: On May 16 my boss, the Rt...
...Tyrrell's diet is not only an organic orgy, but it is mostly liquid and highly digestible...
...In fact it is a competence which he possesses in several different languages...
...While Gilder and I agree that monogamy is better for society, we live in an era when women want to know how much better, and at what cost to the picture they have been given of themselves...
...If Mr...
...Turnipseed: There, there...
...These are energetic working girls,' said Tyrrell...
...I think she's wrong...
...They have a venerable profession, and their record during America's participation in the war eloquently bespeaks their friendliness toward America and the American way of life.' "Tyrrell is seeking the support of all concerned Americans and urges them to write their Congressmen and Senators on behalf of his petition...
...His arraignment of bachelorhood for men and for society is serious (although some of his fictional entries detract from the seriousness without adding to the wit), but Uiider has made iio effort to examine why marriage appears defective to so many American women today, nor what they currently expect from it...
...Dear Mr...
...More to the point, he is a scientific drinker, drinking only quality stuff rich in malts and various grains...
Vol. 8 • August 1975 • No. 10
