The Continuing Crisis
SPRINO? and overwhelming love was in the air. Mr. Zadok Nager took ~for better or for worse the hand of Miss France Peretz in whom he once had planted thirteen machine gun bullets during a...
...For weeks the whole affair took on the idiotic atmosphere of our last Democratic convention without a sober voice to be heard...
...Nixon himself...
...Stanley E. Jacobsen, became the 511th known suicide from the Golden Gate Bridge...
...Further, many members of Congress concurred rancorously, though it has long been suspected that several of these grumpy fellows are functional illiterates...
...9 Still politics is not all comedy and fustian...
...And an indication of just how dreadful American penal institutions are came from Mr...
...Nixon surprised his dizzy antagonists by turning over transcripts of his tapes during a nationalIy televised speech, they unbosomed a furious bellow and carried on like a lynch mob...
...Smokey the Bear, now a senior citizen of Washington's National Zoo, where he apparently struck up an acquaintance with Democratic Representative Harold Runnels...
...In New York City, Mrs...
...But then there is the lovely land of Portugal, and the New York Times reports that carnations are flowering from gun muzzles after General Antonio de Spinola toppled that country's forty-year-old dictatorship...
...Harold Smith of Forgan, Oklahoma, who became the first man ever to win the World Cow Chip Tossing Cham, pionship three times...
...Reformers, there you have it...
...John Duncan of Sydney, Australia, who drove his car backwards for 131 miles...
...In Utica, New York, sixty-three-year-old Mr...
...Arthur Krock, one of the century's most admirable journalists passed on...
...It bears its tragedies too...
...Babe Ruth's home run record of 714 was finally surpassed by Mr...
...Yitzhak Rabin has replaced Premier Golda Meir, who retired two weeks before Secretary of State Henry Kissinger embarked on his fifth Mideast peace-seeking mission...
...In Niger, President Hamani Dioir left the presidential palace for a morning stroll with his favorite chicken only to return and find that he had fallen victim to a bloodless coup led by Lieutenant Colonel Seyni Kountie...
...2 The Alternative June-September 1974...
...by West Germany, which won the World's Beer Drinking Championship...
...On the other hand the people are also sour on Congress, for its public popularity now falls somewhat beneath that of the news media, though it still remains above that of the Manson family...
...Nixon's second administration might prove to be none other than Mr...
...The Hon...
...Friends have hastened to report that the late Mr...
...Killing whites has become a favored pasttime for a small and anonymous group of San Francisco Negroes, and Mayor Alioto now believes that as many as eighty whites may have been murdered...
...On April 3 he agreed to pay nearly half a million dollars to the IRS for back taxes and penalties---without any promise of an ambassadorship or even partial immunity to prosecution...
...The transcripts themselves indicate that American policymakers give themselves over to grave sessions of almost incoherent babble punctuated by %-ulgarities" and orders for more anchovy pizza...
...On April 11 the House Judiciary Committee subpoenaed the mysterious tapes whereupon followed two weeks of confused hemmings and hawings from members of the committee who seemed besotted in doubts as to how serious their historic summons really was...
...Records were also set by Mr...
...and by Mr...
...Even the moguls of the media seemed to fall in with what became a pandemic shrug of rotting indignation...
...E. Howard Hunt, adventurer and patriot, who, in a plea for prison reform, went so far as to say that his term in a federal calaboose was "the most incredible period in my life...
...Milton Kravenstall has brought a class action suit against the President for "consistently and maliciously interfering with my sleep," and Mr...
...Sixty manhole covers have been spirited off from the streets of Pittsburgh, and Mr...
...But when Mr...
...On April 13 Mr...
...Claude Hammer, also of that fair metropolis, has promised to sign a reciprocal suicide agreement with the President so long as the President acts first...
...So there you have it...
...John Mitchell were found not guilty on April 28, but on April 29 Mrs...
...Martin Galt, a retired sword swallower, married his fascinated eighteenyear-old sweetheart during a church ceremony wherein he disgorged both wedding rings and a walking stick...
...9 Mr...
...9 In France, the limits of governmental intervention were dramatically shown when, notwithstanding months of governmental communiques attesting to the soundness of his health, President Georges Pompidou died...
...Mitchell's lawyers initiated divorce proceedings anyway...
...Nixon,whose popularity is not what it was a year ago...
...Surprisingly many Americans do not see/n to feel that they received their money's worth, and some are taking it out on Mr...
...9 On April 15 friends of Patty Hearst were relieved to learn that she is indeed alive and intends to take up a new career as a bank robber in the San Francisco area...
...9 The third largest contributor to Mr...
...In Mexico, Se~or Demengo Gasca Araujo, 52, who has sired seventeen children by Senorita Virginia Rosas Gonzales, 42, was so touched when she asked him to marry her that he quietly stepped into the bathroom and blew his brains out...
...This astronomical figure was launched by the IRS and a special congressional investigating committee some twelve days before the silent majority picked up the tab for a year of truly amazing governmental monkeyshines...
...Runnels it is who, early in the month, introduced a congressional resolution assuring a state burial for Mr...
...Abbie Hoffman, the American author and lecturer, was declared a fugitive when he failed to appear for the third time at a hearing in connection with charges that he is nothing more than a common cocaln salesman...
...Smokey in his home town of Capitan, New Mexico---a bit of harmless legislative facetiae perhaps, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish between waggishness and high affairs of state as life goes on in the nation's capital...
...Finally our nation's leaders are dutifully making preparations for the dignified interment of Mr...
...Is this a solemn prelude to the impeachment of a president or is it an elaborate and tasteless parody of the politics of Idi Amin's amazing Uganda...
...In Bridgewater, New York, Mayor Gerald Wisnoski ran for reelection unopposed and finished third...
...Ronald Faye Leigh of Crestview, Florida, whose only celebrity to date has been his indictment for first-degree murder, had to face up to the ignominy of hearing his public defender ask for a new trial on the grounds that Judge Charles Wade repeatedly had drifted into the Land of Nod during Mr...
...Poor Mr...
...9 There is the preposterous imbroglio over the presidential tapes...
...Maurice Stans and Mr...
...Henry Aaron of Atlanta just days before a tire salesman from Medesto, California, Mr...
...9 Suspecting some sort of lascivious doings a hastily raised posse broke into the North Dakota Society of Philatelists meeting in Silver, North Dakota...
...In less than twelve hours editorialists at newspapers like the New York Times and the Washington Post had analyzed some 1,308 pages of transcribed presidential conversations and found them all beneath the salt...
...Zadok Nager took ~for better or for worse the hand of Miss France Peretz in whom he once had planted thirteen machine gun bullets during a lovers' row...
...Frank McGee...
...Senate President Alain Poher became temporary chief of state, and elections have been scheduled for May 5. NATO celebrated its twenty-fifth anniversary, and Miss Blossom Seeley died as did Mr...
...I~igh's unimaginative defense...
...In Israel Mr...
...That wilderness enthusiast who invaded Central Park Zoo's deer pen and clubbed five deer will now have to climb over three strands of barbed wire in order to indulge his innocent fancies...
...The nuptials were held under the vigilant eyes of plainclothes men in Kfar Sava, Israel...
...Jacobsen is not politically active...
Vol. 7 • June 1974 • No. 9
