Necroliberation: A Theory of Justice

...California forbids a DP to register at a hotel or motel...

...Such tests are obviously discriminatory, catering as they do to the peculiar abilities of the living...

...They are not always synonThe second kind of speechwriter puts the ymous...

...His strength is in his ability to see speechwriting as a partnership, to be willing to listen to others whose literary taste may be limited, but whose political savvy is priceless...

...A full chronicle of the raped rights of the dead would fill a law library, but a few representative statutes will give some idea of the scope of these infringements...

...DPs should refour own level of consciousness...

...The major revisions in committee jurisdictional assignments would be to curtail the all-powerful czarship of Ways and Means Committee Chairman, Wilbur their all-powerful roles...

...Less than two decades later (1965), Congress found it necessary once again to initiate reform proceedings...

...Mills also argued that much of the jurisdictional reshuffling could result The Alternative May 1 9 7 4 1 5...

...The committee has Mills...

...For the extinct, segregation and blatant discrimination have been primary characteristics of American political and social life since that English settlement vanished from Roanoke Island nearly four hundred years ago...

...Think how bored and hungry they must get, hanging around all the time without any rights or highs or anything...

...In 1946 Congress undertook its first major effort in reorganization...

...In addition to its present responsibility for the Highway Trust Fund, the Public Works Committee would also assume responsibility for mass transit (currently with Banking and Currency), railway transportation, and civil aviation (currently with Commerce), as well as most of the responsibilities now held by Merchant Marine and Fisheries...

...The speechwriter must try to solve" the big problem: you have to give the boss what he wants--but you also have to give him what he needs...

...If the government isn't informed of the death, it can't steal the vote...

...His strength is in his love of words for their own sake, for nuances and cadences and rhythms and the ability and desire to write and rewrite until the thing glows and shines...

...I had snipped and cut and scotchtaped whole globs of material from the research and thus learned one of the great secrets of the speechwriter's art: how to use a pair of scissors and rolls of tape...

...The state of New York forbids them to drive cars, but a person who becomes deceased on an underground passenger train is entitled to ride through to his stop, provided he has retained his ticket stub...

...A lucky politician has one of each on his staff...

...During the Ninety-second Congress over 350 bills and 30 resolutions covering the entire spectrum of fuels and energy-related issues were introduced, but no legislation came to the floor of the House for consideration...

...All in all, I suppose speechwriters can be divided into two categories: first, there is the speechwriter who puts the emphasis on "writer" as in speechwr/ter...

...And it's no wonder: without due process, their names are removed from the voter lists (except in Chicago) as soon as they die...

...That some reorganization is needed is a point that finds no contention in Congress...

...Such outrages are common, with the Deadmann Act, which makes it a federal crime to transport a dead person across _9 state lines for immoral purposes, being one of the most notorious...

...In no state of the Union, for example, is a dead person permitted to own property, no matter how much he might have accumulated during his lifetime...

...tions, like taking a defunct one to lunch...

...A concerned woman knowing a dead lady who's been letting herself go, might give her some hair-styling tips, or show her how to apply eyeshadow...

...Thus, the question has once again arisen, what can Congress do...

...I mention this not to place undue emphasis on the quality of the draft, but to point out that a writer never really knows just how or even if his draft is going to be delivered until he hears the words coming from the mouth of the boss...

...I-~ drawbacks are that speechwriting simply doesn't allow enough time for the kind of care he wishes to give to his creations...

...Reorganize, of course...

...Just imagine the impact on a congressman who receives 14 The Alternative May 1974 a letter from a constituent he knows to be dead...

...Under the Bolling proposal Ways and Means would lose its jurisdiction over foreign trade (which would go to the Foreign Affairs Committee) and health insurance (which would go to a new committee on Commerce and Health...

...The next time you hear a mummy joke, gently remind the would-be humorist that departed denizens have rights and feelings, too...

...That should rattle his filibuster...

...But despite these various reorganizations Congress has still found itself incapable of dealing with some of its most basic tasks, including the raising and spending of the tax dollar and now the energy crisis...

...A really lucky politician has one writer who is both...

...Illustrative of committee jurisdictional problems is legislation which would facilitate the construction of oil superports...

...Not even a federal marshall could bust George Washington or Robert Frost or General Grant...

...Sometimes the spoken words and the words of the original draft are the same...

...Whil~ the courts are deciding this" issue, Yet, it's not enough that we merely raise other steps may be taken...

...The House Committee on Interior and Insular Affairs would be redesignated the Committee on Energy and Environment and it would assume the authority for most of the legislation in those two areas...

...Mills has had almost total control over all economic-related legisIation, including health insurance, foreign trade, and taxation...

...At this stage of the process, different All of which brings me to the final point: a speechwriter has to be sensitive enough to be hurt every time his stuff isn't used, but tough enough to know that there are going to be times when some or even all of his stuff will be ignored by the boss...

...The Government Operations Committee would also gain high visibility by incorporating the responsibilities now held by Post Office and Civil Service...

...To illustrate the point...

...Terminated taxpayers are exploited because they are politically powerless...

...Georgia will not permit a DP to play in a marching band, while in neither Florida nor New Hampshire may one who is no longer living ride in a railroad passenger car...

...the speechwr/~ doesn't work so well on demand but comes up with phrases that are alive and jumping up and down all over the text waiting to become sounds...

...The second worst mistake a emphasis on "speech" as inspeechwriter...

...Thus far in the Ninety-third Congress, six Senate, six House, and a number of joint committees have conducted a wide variety of hearings on energy problems...

...As a result both commi~s passed bills, but the House Committee on Rules (unwilling to antagonize either commi~) has refused to grant a rule for either commit2ee's bill...

...There are still other, more emphatic acuse to relinquish their sut~age, ,making it plain to living kin that any effort to report their death will be resisted...

...Activists should organize a Deceased Citizens' League, named, perhaps, The Dead Hand, to dramatize the political plight of the discontinued, to point out, for instance, such abuses as requiring job applicants to submit to a phys~al examination...

...But what can I do...

...When the Declaration ef Independence sets forth certain inalienable rights, "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness," it nowhere excludes the no-longer-with-us from the umbrella of its benefits...

...In _9 ing demands that the writer recognize that the case of the conservation speech, we what he is doing is producing raw material used the Keogh technique which means from which another is going to pick and that once the original draft left my hands choose, to do with as he wants...

...He speechwriter can make is to begin to think knows that speechwriting isn't to be con- that he knows better than the boss what fused with poetry or belles/ettres, that it the boss needs...

...The areas for the commi~s on Agriculture, Foreign Affairs, and Government Operations would also be expanded...

...This statement was prompted by two recent public opinion polls...

...Robbery is the only term for this grave crime committed...

...That guy's a dead ringer for my Aunt Laverne...

...we must act forcefully for positive social good...

...But to date only fuel allocation and conservation measures (with the possible exception of the Alaskan pipeline bill) have been decided upon...

...My writer's ego prefers another crack at a first draft, but Keogh's policy was reasonable...

...In a Sindlinger Company poll Congress received a positive rating of only 25.7 percent (2.1 percent excellent, 23 percent good), as compared to a negative rating of 69 percent (47 percent fair, 22 percent poor, and 4.8 percent no opinion...

...The candidate ultimately delivered a speech quite close to my original draft...

...Perhaps employers might be induced to accept an autopsy instead of the conventional physical...

...When the public was asked to rate Congress in specific areas (including its handling of Watergate, impeachment, the economy, energy, and inspiring confidence in government)the results were even more negative, ranging from 72 to 88 percent...

...This resulted in the Legislative Reorganization Act of 1946...

...Similarly, it is illegal there for a person who is living to share a hotel or motel room with one who is not...

...no other group has contributed so much and received so little in return...

...Obviously, removing the dead from the voting rolls deprives them of liberty, which is dearer than life...

...The legislation can consequently not come before the House of Representatives for consideration...

...Quite clearly, if that is so, the congressional member himself should do likewise...

...This has been one committee which has been domin a t e d by liberal congressmen, but one which has also perennially foiled to attract conservative members because of a "graveyard syndrome...

...Similarly, a poll by Louis Harris revealed a negative rating of 69 percent for Congress, as compared to a positive rating of 21 percent, and 10 percent not sure...

...This coordinated political activity should build to a crescendo, a cataclysmic climax of activism, specifically: the Dead Persons' March on Washington...

...you ask, wringing your little hands, ~I, who am, after all, just one person, one atom in the manswarm.~ To begin with, we can all watch our language...

...revolutions aren't won by making Johnny Carson apologize for smirking as he says: ~my monologue is dying...

...Do you have trouble getting off "dead center...

...In New Mexico, Nevada, and Connecticut, a dead one may not succeed himself to state or national elective office...

...The speechwriter can grind the stuff out and most of it is pretty good...

...Other staffs use different techniques...

...Probing still deeper into your secret prejudices, ask yourself if you'd want your daughter to marry one...

...How many times have you found yourself saying...

...DPs as well as their living advocates should immediately begin writing to their e l e ~ officials...

...V] P a u l P. Somers, J r . Necroliberation: A Theory of Justice ONE OF THE MOST oppressed segments of the American population today is the dead...

...A special committee, known as the Select committee on Committees (under the chairmanship of Missouri Democrat, Richard Boiling), has recently come up with a proposal to structurally reorganize the present 21 standing and 125 subcommitby C. Bascom Slemp tees of the House of Representatives...

...Now, think how that must hurt...

...by a greedy state on behalf of grasping heirs...

...Deceased persons, referred to hereafter as DPs, may not purchase liquor by the drink in Louisiana...

...Surely, one good court case should be sufficient to end this travesty...

...The federal government has also kept its oppressor's eye on this class of outcasts, providing prison terms for DPs found guilty of assembling in groups of five or more...

...Ten thousand posthumous patriots wading in the Reflecting Pool...

...Wilbur Mills argued that the separation of taxes from benefits would "lead to potentially disastrous consequences, both for the beneficiaries and for responsible fiscal policy...

...Again, this committee would assume the jurisdiction implied in the name and lose its energy, transportation, and environmental role...

...Just think of it...

...the worst mistake is to give must stand or fall on its own peculiar rules him only what he thinks he wants...

...The Bolling Committee's recommendations are the culmination of one year of hearings and debate...

...The Committee on Standards of Official Conduct (the newest of the twenty-one standing committees) would assume responsibility for elections and campaign finance...

...His weakness prepared to accept that fact should go into ' lies in his inability to transmit to a political another writing field...

...The Public Works Committee would be renamed the Public Works and Transportation Committee...

...Help a DP change a tire or cross the street...

...Three House committees (Interior, Public Works, and Merchant Marine and Fisheries) held hearings on the subject of oil superports...

...Another change would be to divide the Education and Labor Committee into two committees...

...The road of the righteous is a narrow one, and greasy water flows deep in the gutters...

...Overlapping jurisdiction has consistently handicapped and delayed the passage of legislation...

...proposed reducing the number of standing Needless to say, the curtailment of fiefHouse committes by exactly one, although doms and empires produced an outcry from three committees would be abolished (Mer- the chairmen who would be stripped of chant Marine and Fisheries, Internal Security, and Post Office and Civil Service...

...Other changes would include reorganizing the Interstate and Foreign Commerce Committee and renaming it the Commerce and Health Committee...

...Nevertheless, the committee's recommendations are significant...

...the kind that comes only from an association with and a love of literature and language...

...And again, in 1970, a legislative reorganization was passed...

...The results of these polls serve to illustrate that if Watergate has eroded the stature of the Presidency, Congress' continuing inertia and unwillingness to assert itself has also threatened the Constitutional Trinity...

...At any rate, pressure must be exerted on all employers to hire the inanimate...

...The final stage in the struggle is, of course, political involvement...

...More often than not, however, the boss will have done something different: added, deleted, e x p a n d e d . . , you never know...

...Political speechwrit- speech the kind of outside help it needs, techniques are used by different staffs...

...House members would like to see the House Foreign Affairs Commi~ raised to the prominence of its Senate counterpart and the reorganizational proposal represents an effort to accomplish that goal...

...Merchant Marine and Fisheries and Interior were able to come to agreement on a common bill, but Public Works would not compromise...

...In Indiana, for example, it is unlawful to dance with a dead person...

...That is the nature of the business, and those who are not emotionally or professionally and that the most important rule is to get the thing done in good enough shape either to be delivered to an audience or to be reworked by the boss...

...Or, have you e v e r . . . I must admit that I have . . . have you ever been in "dead earnest...

...DPs in Michigan may not massage or be massaged for pay by a member of the opposite sex...

...V1 Letter from a Whig Congressional Reorganization ('~ASHINGTON)---In a letter to his colleagues, a GOP congressman recently wrote: "There are some Democrats who are stating that the President has lost the confidence of the people and shouldresign...

...And if that doesn't work, ask him if he'd like to meet his ancestors...

...Although there hasn't been much of the latter lately...

...I never saw it again...