The Bootblack Stand
Plunkitt, George Washington
"The Bootblack Stand" Dr. George Washington Plunkitt, our prize-winning political analyst, is celebrating the publication of his new book, which is now available at avant-garde bookstores throughout New Jersey. Dr....
...As to your last question, I can neither confirm nor deny the rumor that the President's various Enemies Lists are printed on recycled paper...
...But with rare exception (South Vietnam's Minister for Information, Hoang-Duc-Nha, has the unique distinction of being able to get favorable press reviews in this country--no small task for a Saigon official) we are led to believe that the leadership of South Vietnam is an anonymous face of military and bureaucratic hacks...
...Even 24 The Alternative April 1974...
...Plunkitt's book is about the importance of altruism in politics, and it is titled What's in It for Me...
...Respectfully, David Taylor-Ault Dear Master Taylor-Ault: Young man you have come to the right place (though I am surprised the goo-goos at National Public Radio did not get to you first...
...Although Dr...
...The fact is that we are about to run out of many vital resources...
...I can't even find one in Saint Paul, Minnesota, and I love to waltz...
...And New York City's dog population could become a grave menace...
...I suggest you get some publishing house to put together a book by you (Random House is full of gullible oafs lusting for such junk...
...Having grown up in Berlin, Germany, and having visited the Eastern European countries, I have had the opportunity to see what I consider to be police states...
...and is it true that his list is not even printed on recycled paper...
...Plunkitt expects to earn ten million dollars from sales of his new book, he has agreed to continue to advise public figures through this column...
...Your best bet is Senator Gravel, the fellow who assured his place in history by commandeering the podium at the Democratic Convention and actually begging the assembled yokels to put him on that fated ticket with the late George McGevern...
...I am pleased to be able to set your young mind at ease regarding these vexatious questions...
...What politician has the influence, the foresight, and the brains to take up this sorely needed reform...
...My parents want me to grow up to be just like John F. Kennedy or one of the astronauts, but I am afraid if I enter politics President Nixon will put me on one of his Enemies Lists and I will not be able to watch Sesame Street with my father and his friends from the encounter group...
...The problem is NOW...
...Of course this would involve some significant changes in our society...
...Far from being government interventionists, the ministers I met with were classical liberals to the man, i.e., favoring as little government intervention into all aspects of human life as possible...
...Further, you politicians will have to tackle the basketball lobby...
...So I have thought up a solution to our fading resources, but like all solutions it involves a matter of national priorities as they used to say in the 1960s or of critical choices as they say today...
...I must find a politician who will give my reform the needed push it deserves...
...Many of these ministers had had the opportunity to spend some time in foreign universities, and they were clearly in their positions because of their own merits, and not just because of their loyalties to Thieu...
...Most of the ministers we talked with, for example, were in their early thirties, a striking contrast to the leadership of North Vietnam...
...Lysander M. Delfin, Ph.D...
...I believe that the present state of our knowledge of eugenics is sufficient to achieve this goal by the end of the Nixon Administration if only somebody would listen...
...Plunkitt: I am a fourth grade student at I_~vely Heights Elementary School in Lovely Heights, New Jersey, just outside Newark...
...By the end of the century I feel we will have absolutely exhausted many of the modern world's most crucial elements including antacids and Valium...
...This energy crisis is bad and then there is the shortage of dance halls...
...Dear Professor Delfin: There are probably many politicians with the brains to suggest your reform, but as to the vision and the foresight that is another matter...
...According to the findings of my research group, the present supply of natural resources in this country would be sufficient for the American people to live independent of the rest of the world for the next five hundred years if they would follow one simple reform: Americans must breed citizens who are only twenty inches high...
...I (as the other visitors with me) was very surprised with the predominant youth of the government officials we met...
...Contrary to the popular belief, espoused by that world-wide movement of alienated intellectuals and progressive opinion, South Vietnam does not have the trappings of a "police state...
...The trip included visits to all four of the country's military regions, meetings with various Vietnamese and American officials, as well as visits to Con Son Island --the location of the so-called tiger cages...
...Dear Dr...
...As to your earlier question, it seems to me Mr...
...Nixon could cause you a lot more grief were he to put you on his Friends List, and even worse he could make you his next vice president--that would be the most damaging of all...
...John I.~nard of the New York Times Book Reviewis bound to pounce on it with the same kind of mad delight he evinces for all such stuff, and you will be off and running...
...GWP Peter Hughes Vietnam Revisited THIS WRITER RECENTLY had the opportunity to take a ten-day trip to the Republic of Vietnam...
...The other day my teacher was talking about President Nixon during my language arts class (actually she talks about President Nixon during all of my classes, but this time she did not cry and use bad words), and I do not think I like him very well...
...GWP Dear Dr...
...All I know is that for his personal correspondence he uses old campaign stationary which he managed to stockpile from his 1962 gubernatorial campaign...
...If you think Mr...
...There is the whole question of doorknobs...
...Nixon is hard on his enemies take a look at how he treats his friends and his vice presidents...
...But the details can be worked out later...
...Plunkitt: As a practicing marine biologist and full-time ecologist I have for some years been concerned that the world is going to hell in a handbasket and perhaps worse...
...For such a rational and visionary proposal as yours the intellectual groundwork must be laid...
...Address all correspondence to The Bootblack Stand, c/o The Establishment, R.R...
...Why does President Nixon want to put me on his Enemies List...
...Incidentally, I feel you are going about this all wrong...
...With a little bit of luck you could be the next Ralph Nader...
...This is just not the c a s e . Throughout my visit to Vietnam no one tried to hide the fact that problems (including problems of corruption) exist...
...11, Box 360, Bloomington, Indiana 47401, Continental U.S.A...
Vol. 7 • April 1974 • No. 7
