The Continuing Crisis
The Continuing Crisis - THE END of the first year of Mr. Nixons second administration, and it seems that the President's traditional honeymoon with the press and the loyal opposition is about over. Early...
...And in Great Britain the government took a hard line against a gentleman from Roachdale who wanted tax-exempt status for his "temple of love" which turned out to be little more than a counseling service for floozies...
...Susan Schiffman informs us that we simply cannot get along without light...
...And Pravda expressed '~serious concern" over the appalling growth of "tasteless imitations of Western folk songs," crammed with '~false pathos or sweet sentimentality...
...Schiffman found that if we can't see the food, we have almost no idea what we are eating...
...And top executives in the dog food industry became uneasy when Mr...
...Apparently marijuana will remain illegal in America despite a UCLA scientist's findings that it may aid asthma, but at least the Agricultural Department is dropping its ban on the use of swine blood in sausages and puddings...
...Tricia Nixon Cox's returns as well...
...Jack Benny, had reopened its investigation of Mr...
...Alice Chase, author of Nutrition for Health, died in I~ndon of malnutrition, Tex Ritter, former singer and cowboy movie star, whose hits included 'r Are My Sunshine," of a heart attack, and Glen Jackson of Melbourne, Australia, who was fatally stabbed on the beach by an uprooted umbrella which the wind carried for fifty yards in the air...
...She also tells us that as we grow older our sense of sweetness and saltness deteriorates long before our sense of bitterness and sourness---though this has been common knowledge for millenia...
...9 Zaire continues its wave of reform From Kinshasa,, Zaire's Minister in Charge of Political Affairs and Coordination of Party Activities announced that the twenty-one gun salute will be replaced by the less expensive twenty-one drum salute...
...Early in the month Operation Candor was canceled when the Senate Watergate Committee became gluttonous and asked for more than six hundred White House tapes and documents...
...As the Western world teeters over the abyss of decadence all eyes are on Chicago where Alderman Edward Burke introduced a resolution prohibiting topless manicurists with the philosophical observation that "I think people who would be silly enough to get an $11 shoeshine and manicui~e need the protection of the city...
...But by the end of the month misery was in the air...
...And millions of early morning insomniacs combed the heavens in vain for a blazing streak, some expecting the Comet Kahoutek, others the Second Coming...
...Nixon resigned or was indicted...
...The energy crisis kept the sophisticated natives of Albion groping for candles and torches and Prime Minister Heath's neck...
...Dogs will now be allowed to reside in dormitories provided the question has followed the course of democratic process...
...After blending a wide variety of foods down to the same texture, Dr...
...In a plea for revolutionary moral sentiment Pravda called for lilting melodies for ~'use in civic demonstrations and in tight friendly circles around campfires...
...Solzhenitsyn without literary merit...
...What is even more promising is the fact that this great university has initiated a prototype Canine Studies Department by offering two credit hours for a class called r Animals" in which students discuss their pets' experiences and their individual hang-ups in dealing with pets on a person to person basis...
...Then a panel of high-fidelity experts reported that not even the buzz of H.R...
...The grim business of liberating America is being made a bit easier by courageous educators at the University of California at Davis, who are finally recognizing the personhood of dogs...
...By the end of the month China had purged both Beethoven and Schubert...
...Who knows...
...On January 19 Egypt and Israel signed an agreement to disengage their delicately intermingled armies along the Suez Canal, and President Nixon gave a generally optimistic account of the energy situation in a nationally broadcast radio address...
...9 The Minnesota Vikings woke up late on the afternoon of January 13 to discover that they had lost the Super Bowl to the Miami Dolphins...
...Guest lecturers discourse on the psychology of canine companionship and on the legal responsibilities of pet ownership---you've come a long way, Spot...
...But none of this seems to bother Marty Snyder, a blind Republican committeeman in New York who helps review X-rated movies and vptes on whether they are obscene...
...Nixon's fourth attorney general in one and one-half years...
...Now philistines high in government are demanding an end to these local customs before they spread to California...
...Three people, however, will not: Dr...
...William Saxbe was sworn in as Mr...
...Newsweek, after publishing a January 14 cover story on Mr...
...j ANUAI~Y, THE END of the first year of Mr...
...Snyder's advice mankind will survive this long, wintry gloom...
...Three hours later UCLA lost its first game in eighty-nine starts...
...But while the spirit of reform energizes the civic life of Zaire, it threatens with extinction one of Swaziland's most colorful pageants, its incomparable fertility rite...
...Pornography isn't a case of seeing," he insists, "it's a case of feeling...
...Who says there is no joy in communism...
...9 For one thing the Internal Revenue Service, fresh from a triumph over the celebrated miser, Mr...
...Haldemar?s pet housefly could have caused that eighteen and one-half minute embarrassment in the tape of his conversation with the President on June 20, 1972...
...Worse still, special prosecutor Leon Jaworski, after ordering the FBI into the case, stated publicly that his office was engaged in plea bargaining w i t h a t least one quondam public official and that indictments would be forthcoming in a matter of weeks...
...It was the result of deliberate erasures, disclosures which proved too much even for an old sport like Judge Sirica, who turned his collected evidence over to the grand jury and recommended that it consider possible criminal charges...
...For years Swazilanders have believed that the limbs of a freshly slaughtered human, when planted in a farmer's field, will increase his land's yield...
...Ronald Ziegler that implicated Brooks Brothers, Disneyland, J. Walter Thompson, and the University of Southern California, followed it up with a cover story implying that it was only a matter of time before Mr...
...And there were some unusual robberies this month...
...And in Richmond, California, a woman dressed in "a fashionable green pantsuit" walked into the local branch of Bank of Amerfca, seized $2,974 from the teller, and drove away in a new gold Cadillac with a chauffeur at the wheel...
...She might even get caught now that the Burger Court has decided by a vote of six to three that the "exclusionary rule" does not apply to many cases of unsought evidence...
...All in all, it was a lackluster January...
...Another debacle for civil liberties occurred in Manila, where a young man shouted fire in a crowded theater and found to his amazement that one girl was killed and fifty others injured in the ensuing stampede...
...On January 3 a gunman fleeing from a hold-up in Miami jumped into the wrong getaway car, which happened to be an unmarked patrol car...
...Russia had found Mr...
...The saddened idealist has not yet been identified...
...9 Meanwhile the Soviet Union has planned a thousand-mile ski trek from the Taimyr Peninsula to the North Pole, apparently for the purpose of testing survival foods and ski wax...
...Nixon's hour was at hand...
...Nixon's tax return and promised to look into Mrs...
...Further, the old myth about the supposed inferiority of canine intelligence was given the boot when dogs were admitted to classes with no apparent depression in the curve...
...And Uganda's famous president, General Idi Amin, has initiated a "Save Britain" fund...
...Having heard of the effects of the fuel shortage in Britain the Napoleon of Uganda kicked in $5000 and signed a magisterial decree urging his countrymen to help '~save our former colonial masters from economic catastrophe...
...Ralph Nader's dog passed away...
...In Detroit eight indignant employees of a topless massage parlor complained to the State Employment Security Commission when their employer would not allow them to eat submarine sandwiches...
...And on January 21 one of the most awesome symphonies of shrieks and whoops ever heard in Washington resounded from Capitol Hill indicating that though not all the boys were back yet, the historic Ninety-third Congress had reconvened...
...2 The Alternativ.e March 1974...
...It was a sad moment for the South Vietnamese, but the diplomats of that nation did not do their cause any good when they distracted delegates at the United Nations from the far more crucial matter of dealing constructively with Representative Patricia Hutar's proposal to hold a worldwide conference on women's problems with special attention to women in India...
...What is worse, psychologist Dr...
...Yes, on Mr...
...But all of this effort at uplift may have come too late, for it seems that the communist world is giving up on the West...
...On that same day the theory that an American presence in Vietnam would induce Red China to attack was somewhat tarnished when Chinese troops swarmed across South Vietnamese outposts in theParaCel Islands...
Vol. 7 • March 1974 • No. 6
