Tbe Great American Column
Simonds, C.H.
Senator Ervin remains in such robust health. Please send your reply to me at the Indiana State Mental Hospital where my wife has installed me after I became emotionally involved with my moth...
...The black waiter has spilled bearnaise sauce on my spats...
...Those policemen, though not yet certified as an aggrieved minority, retaliated by stifling Miss Chesimard and her companions in jail, pending what promises to be a most interesting trial in the course of which the defense will remind us that while shooting policemen is perhaps unwise, nevertheless et cetera...
...overtip him...
...Our options are more limited and less pleasant than many would like to believe...
...And is there any end to rights...
...Bernie is a nice Jewish boy...
...The neighbors all agree that Mr...
...America's nice, quiet men are up in arms over the slur...
...One must be careful...
...I hope to chat with you individually over punch and cookies after the lecture...
...Abe Martin of Brown County, Indiana: "Nobody ever fergits where they buried the hatchet...
...Do not mistake me: I am a thorough believer in minority rights...
...Then there is the problem of minorities overreacting...
...Or am I monstrously insensitive...
...Baker's misfortunes, Senator Ervin moved with admirable speed to help stifle the investigation by voting it down in all the protean manifestations that these vicious Republicans wrapped it in on the Senate floor...
...Certainly, we are afflicted with bogus minorities--for instance, women, a species so numerous and so unfettered as to come near constituting a public nuisance...
...Obviously, this is the most sensitive aspect of the entire I.Q...
...My dear Miss Tamborine: I have had a very difficult time deciding which senator you refer to...
...I met him in a local saloon the other day and I addressed your question to him...
...do I dare to eat a peach...
...But I wonder how many BLBwatchers have been made to feel just a trifle . . . guilty...
...Indeed, whatever steps are taken in that direction will merely increase the role of heredity in determining what distinctions do exist...
...I shall operate under the assumption that you are referring to New Mexico's Senator Montoya, the Desert Demosthenes, as I am fond of calling him...
...the list grows daily, and the 1976 Democratic National Convention will have to be held at Watkins Glen, New York...
...They stood in nice contrast to the rigid, chilly, button-arsed Catholic parents...
...Any person wishing to speak or act in behalf of an aggrieved minority must be required to obtain a license and to remove all of his, her, or its clothing (to prevent the concealment of lethal weapons...
...But which minorities...
...In a pure meritocracy, with discrimination eliminated and all social and physical environmental factors somehow "equal," it is difficult to see how the genetic stratification predicted by Herrnstein can be avoided...
...Is my beloved morning bagel a grotesque overcompensation...
...But there is little to support these beliefs, and much evidence to the contrary...
...q4nke l h l " I | l i l r (~l'oVv | , o i l K I n d (llol~lly ! I Honey r r l u r n i . d i f n o t ms rrprrs4rnted...
...Here the evidence is spotty...
...According to the story as I have heard it, there was actually only one senator who really wanted to be on the Ervin committee--the others on the committee are serving as punishment for various infractions of the Senate code regarding shooting rubber bands and launching paper airplanes while on the Senate floor...
...Please send your reply to me at the Indiana State Mental Hospital where my wife has installed me after I became emotionally involved with my moth collection...
...There is a difference between the foul play of the Watergate variety and the more traditional boodling of gentlemen like Bobby Baker, and Senator Ervin seems to agree...
...Or Shall I make them Poles...
...no fair man believes in unequal opportunity...
...If the latter is our choice, then, we must also learn that the continued veneration of vague, universal egalitarianism is an indulgence we cannot afford...
...D o a n e , b | l e ~ e ' t v h i , - - = n a a c h l n e ( ' o . , N. 15...
...The great man replies: "If you want to have a long active life in the U.S...
...Plunkitt's book is about the importance of altruism in politics and it is titled What's in It for Me...
...they are married...
...Andy Warhol...
...Capano down the hall tells me repulsive jokes about Italians...
...The notion struck many political scientists as provocative and abhorrent in the extreme...
...I do not refer to the late sordid transactions in Washington, just now undergoing an inquisition every bit as sordid...
...Apprehensively, Ashly Tamborine Ex...
...In 1964 when certain senatorial spoilsports tried to whip up a Senate investigation of the Democratic Administration on the basis of Mr...
...Bridget is a sweet Catholic girl...
...No protests were forthcoming from the Catholic community, preoccupied a s it is with the question whether Father Phil's and Sister Liz's first baby will have a tail, or merely cloven feet., Anyhow, objections there were to something that I, not being of the Hebrew persuasion, must have missed...
...11, Box 360, Bloomington, Indiana 47401, Continental U.S.A...
...Plunkitt: There is mischief afoot in Washington, and the Ervin committee proves it...
...GWP Dear Mr...
...performance increases 1 point...
...controversy, and much more definitive research is needed before one could hazard a conclusion...
...Opel Thorston Indianapolis, Indiana Dr...
...Jr...
...Only then will the rest of us-whitei black, brown, yellow, red, lavender, Catholic, Jew, Separate Baptist, Muslim (all flavors), straight, crooked, gay, solemn--be able to go about our lawful business...
...Dear Mr...
...lies in its refutation of two of the dearest tenets of western liberal philosophy: the belief that men are equal not onlybefore God and the law, but also substantively...
...It is clear, however, that Herrnstein's predictions cannot be wished away...
...shall I undertip him...
...most of us, I think, would not...
...The Jewish parents were portrayed as kindly, earthly-wise, warmhearted and heartwarming, something Sholem Aleichem might have dreamed up in a diabetic stupor...
...Senate, never smoke and never take a d r i n k . . , in public...
...their respective parents have difficulty adjusting to this and to one another--and thereby hangs a situation comedy than which I would sooner watch Celebrity Bowling...
...Objections to what, I cannot imagine: I viewed it once and my wife tuned it in occasionally when I was away at Klonvocations...
...Corll was a "nice, quiet man...
...Nobel-prize winning physicist William Shock!ey of Star~.ord has vociferously argued that such differences do exist, and it is certainly established that blacks score an average of 15 points lower on LQ...
...old people...
...But one should at least face the possibility that in the process of evolution, some differences may have developed among races in the make-up of the most complicated organ in the human body...
...and I take my text from Mr...
...If we are to survive as a nation, steps must be taken now...
...Address all correspondence to The Bootblack Stand, c/o The Establishment, R.R...
...The editors of The Atlantic spoke precisely to this point in their introduction to "IQ...
...I am delighted so many of you could make it, what with all this sunspot activity and the price of copra...
...and the faith in man's ability to control any facet of a stubbornly complex universe...
...They hoodwinked poor Senator Montoya into taking his place by an amusing subterfuge...
...Dean Corll of Houston, Texas, who spiced his deviant activities with a refreshingly direct approach to the important question of population control...
...He actually thinks he is participating in a new television show similar to "What's My Line...
...The list is endless: American aborigines, who have elevated themselves from the savagery of setting fire to white farmers to the sophistication of setting fire to other aborigines' house trailers...
...or even to the alarming rise of mixed nude bathing in the coastal provinces...
...Dare I tell him a repulsive joke about Italians...
...l)*s~,hxt~.l.y Ciit~| ?ll~" l t i i f l " I l l l l t * l i f l i l ~ i * l I [ F ~ ' l l l %%|ti1"11 b i l l ' Ill'!ll R ~lPtl*lll t u l f f r l . r fur ~l'ltrl...
...I pine for a golden futClre in which Americans of e~ery race'/ creed, and nationality, standing together as'~brothers, will be free to berate and revile one another without fear or favor...
...My copy of Little Black Sambo (he was the hero of my (continued on page 29) 26 The Alternative October 1973 RUSTHOVEN (continued from page 4) hereditary intelligence linked to race...
...Please, what is fifteen percent of four-hundred-years-of-slaveryand-oppression...
...Good afternoon...
...Of course not...
...Pilsudski, with attribution...
...Plunkitt expects to earn ten million dollars from sales of his new book, he has agreed to continue to advise public figures through this column...
...Re subject of intelligence is an [important, albeit painful, social] issue--important because social legislation must come to terms with actual human potentialities, painful because the actualities are sometimes not what we vainly wish...
...But all sensitive, fair, and reflective men should recognize that the elimination of these evils will not yield a society of equally intelligent people doing equally fulfilling tasks for equally high rewards...
...young people...
...u r e l l l l l o u , llra4Rche I n ~ mlnulem ! : ~ure .~*.tlrltlRllt Ill ,~ n t l l l i a t t ~ f I C'ur4- F , i l l l n l l l a l r i i l l d Baldn~ssll [ ' u r r l ) ~ n i l r l i l T H i i d I ) l l 4 - s . c . o f I h * . ~ r ! | I ' r o n i p l l y A r r * . ~ l l ' r i . m i l t t l r e (;rayness...
...What was the Senate up to by putting the most ignorant and lazy man in the United States Senate on such a highly publicized committee...
...Each such spokesperson must be transported, at government expense, to India, the Rub AIKhali, or Greenwich Village--all places where naked fanatics uttering strange cries are treated with respect, even reverence...
...The real explanation for the violent reaction to "IQ...
...I speak naturally of Senator Kennedy...
...urnings of every inclination...
...The sight of Senator Ervin impressed me...
...She is sore beset...
...The Alternative October 1973 29...
...tests than whites...
...If human differences reflect nature more than nurture, then the elimination of those differences is unlikely, and any attempt to do so must necessarily involve public policies and controls totally at conflict with a heritage rooted in individualism and personal freedom...
...If heredity is the most important factor, then we will not be able to eliminate social and economic distinctions merely by changing environments and equalizing opportunity (which are difficult propositions in themselves...
...Chicanos are exploited...
...Regai~d|ess of the question of racial linkage, however, the implications Of Herrnstein's conclusions for public policy are immense...
...Indeed, it seems quite unlikely that evolution magically yielded precisely equal results ~in this area...
...Several years ago I authored a small treatise on American politics, Plunkitt of Tammany Hall I believe it was called, in which I drew the distinction between honest and dishonest graft...
...Senator Ervin, like many other redoubtable patriots in the Senate, knows the difference between honest and dishonest graft...
...Some years ago a Miss Valerie Solanas struck a blow for the fancied rights of her sex by shooting and seriously wounding Mr...
...Some, no doubt, would welcome that attempt anyway...
...As a national pastime, mutual antagonism is certainly pceferable to the mass calisthenics and folk-dancing beloved of totalitarian regimes...
...For each 1 percent of such genes which appear in blacks, says Shockley, I.Q...
...And how many...
...Senator Ervin's recent behavior indicates that this distinguished constitutional expert also adheres to my dichotomy...
...Italian-Americans, who had a good thing going in the media until a black man, resentful of competition in the limited indignation market, gunned down their Moses...
...It is to the Minorities Explosion that I address myself...
...hyphenate Americans who trace themselves to every backwater in your stamp album...
...Citizens for Better Government Washington, D.C...
...Consider, brethren, the Republic...
...Had she acted yesterday, a new bogus minority, Czechoslovak-American underground film-makers, would be filling the streets today, demanding counterliberation from armed Sapphoids...
...Fortunately several astute Democrats finally talked him out of it, for they realized that were his curious daily habits exposed to the public eye, their chances of getting him into the presidency would be slim and none...
...No sensitive man wants to perpetuate discrimination...
...I admire him a lot...
...I realize you have many high friends in important places and I would like you to find out for me how Dear Opel: I too share your enthusiasm for Senator Ervin...
...George Washington Plunkitt, our prize-winning political analyst, is celebrating the publication of his new book, which is now available at avant-garde bookstores throughout New Jersey...
...SIMONDS (continued from page 26) pancake-eating youth)is hidden beneath the dust jacket from The Story of O. Mr...
...Shockley also cites studies which indicate that certain genes distinctive to whites seem to affect performance on intelligence tests in proportion to their appearance in the genetic make-up of racially mixed populations...
...With this morning's milk come the tidings that gay liberation-has been carried to its logical extreme by the late Mr...
...GWP No More Minorities...
...lll:~.ll%" l i A I l i l LIT, IT WILL, POSITIVELY ~'ure . ~ ' e r v o u s XeRdnrhe In ,5 mlnule...
...we can assure you there was nothing offensive in sight...
...A television network has, according to the newspapers, canceled a vulgar entertainment called Bridget Loves Bernie...
...Must I squintingly reexamine my every attirude...
...Is this Nixon',~ scheming yet again...
...Although Dr...
...o{I'~ F:h'~'tri~" /|:lir Brli~,b Ills...
...Plunkitt: I spent the better part of the summer watching the televised Watergate hearings...
...A group of blacks led by a latter-day Joan of Arc, Miss Joanne Chesimard, struggled lately for the rights of blacks by gut-shooting white policemen...
...To think that a man of his age can look so young and possess such a sharp mind...
...The series is being dropped because of objections from "the Jewish community...
...But then will Mr~ Capano relay the story unaltered to Mr...
Vol. 7 • October 1973 • No. 1
