Current Wisdom
Jackasses, Assorted
"Whom the gods destroy they first make mad"- Euripides Current Wisdom THE SAINTED MARK ESSEX Pity the unfortunate black murderer of eight white citizens in New Orleans. He was the victim of an...
...And curing loneliness is at least the second best way to a man's heart...
...The Nation "LES SECRETS AMERICAINS" A leading journal of French thought reports on American medical science to its readers, many of whom still overcome their maladies with a yearly bleeding: These are the synthesis of observations made by a group of American doctors on those of their patients who have attained a very exceptional longevity: 1. Sleep a lot...
...In Sacramento, California the mugging problem is so serious that a twenty-five-year-old mugger, who had only moments before mugged Mr...
...Both Governors Meskill of Connecticut and Rockefeller of New York are invoking a form of Hammurabi's code against drug entrepreneurs...
...Senator John C. Stennis was shot and robbed as he entered his Washington home...
...Venetian bird lovers are protesting the netting of pigeons who are being taken into custody for relieving themselves on the priceless monuments in that city...
...Gabriel Kolko, historian and fabulist, serves up a little of the ethnic cuisine so admired by the academics of the New Age...
...On January 27 Defense Secretary Melvin Laird announced the ending of the draft...
...Model Cities funds intended to improve inner city life, has more crime than rhyme...
...Grab the purse-it's easily done...
...The Washington Post THE MODERN AMERICAN PEDANT Dr...
...The law and order mania continues to sweep the nation...
...Karl Rayford, a twenty-one-year-old blind man, was arrested and charged with attempted rape...
...Nixon, and when he offers an opinion as to what those countries will or will not tolerate, only fools will ignore his words...
...Save money...
...Wise girls know how to make themselves attractive to the lonely...
...The professional football season finally ended...
...For two million years he has been trying unsuccessfully to develop the habit of tidiness...
...The enlightened Supreme Court decided that the first three months of a fetus' residency in a woman's womb could be considered an invasion of privacy...
...7. Drink and smoke little...
...Nevertheless some progress was recorded...
...and Mrs...
...Paris Match SNAKE OIL Scientific treatise on sale in the classified section of The Nation-a journal at the vanguard of the consumerism struggle: Relief from loneliness seems to be the greatest benefit of a marriage...
...Kissinger and Mr...
...Madness" was the word he used as he pointed to the page, and he added: "I do not believe that the Soviet Union and the People's Republic of China will permit this to continue...
...The Watergate Seven seem headed for the calaboose, and Congress is unhappy...
...Ill fortune befell Mrs...
...The magazine had endorsed him, despite a belated effort to make him dump Agnew...
...Beer bottles have been banned from Greenland...
...An elephant was born in the Portland Zoo, and in New York there are fresh indications of ecological disturbance...
...It went out as it had come in, celebrating a narrow Americanism...
...It is called piping hot bash: Washington's self-serving effort to tidy up 25 years of failure in regard to Russia and China has no equivalent in the Third World nor even with the other capitalist nations...
...Interest yourself in an art...
...8. Follow a profession that you like...
...Believe in something...
...One example: "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, snap the blade and give it a flick...
...9. Take a lot of vacations...
...Judge William G. Heffron said the book, purchased with U.S...
...2. Get some exercise...
...We get at the truth by making our mistakes in public...
...6. Go to the bathroom each morning...
...97207 -The Nation SAPIENTIA Edward M. Keating, former Ramparts publisher, has written a treatise on the "Nature of man," wherein age-old mysteries are suddenly clarified: When man's arboreal ancestors lived in accord with their instincts in the trees, they ate berries and fruit and let the remnants and excretions drop to the ground...
...Bloomington Courier-Tribune ORACULAR PRONUNCIAMENTOES Barry Commoner, earth lover, delineates the kind of complicated and little-known truth that invariably stuns his cosmopolitan audiences: There's nothing wrong with the public being let in on scientific squabbles...
...Linda Bartoshuk, a Yale University psychologist, has scientifically confirmed what many laymen have observed: that some beverages taste sweet after one has eaten artichokes...
...Los Angeles Times THE CONTINUING CRISIS (continued from page 2) show promising to give his fortune to the poor, blew his brains out...
...He was 89 last December 27, and he invited the press to mark the occasion with him...He strode into the room for his interview with the Cleveland plain Dealer, carrying a newspaper that was black with the headlines of B-52 raids...
...Clayton Fritshey's syndicated column: Americans instinctively realize that if the United Nations were shut down even for a few weeks there* would be international anarchy...
...And Senator Hartke continues his valiant struggle on behalf of the oppressed people of the United States Senate against the FAA, which insists that the great solon submit to airport frisks as though he were a commoner...
...Police broke up a basketball game among passengers on the 5:30 p.m...
...Beneath the Administration's current veneer of self-confidence remains the unavoidable reality that the United States' existing and new conflicts with an increasingly pluralistic world promise only more years of crisis and violence...
...He has no instinct against soiling the nest...
...A euthanasia bill was introduced into the Oregon State Senate...
...From Katmandu, Nepal comes the chagrined report from zoologist Jeffrey McNeely that while pursuing the "abominable snowman" he was himself stalked by that retiring creature...
...The New York Post SLAPSTICK Garry Wills makes another balmy point in his prodigiously cogent syndicated column: The ultimate proof that Nixon had no coattails this election year is the failure of "Life...
...He enjoys a rapport with the Russians and the Chinese that is not even approached by the likes of Dr...
...Keating said, is the explanation of "why man can't stop pollution...
...Ever vigilant sons of freedom, The Progressive discusses some of its favorite instruments of war: We are for more and better Frisbee projects at the Pentagon...
...school libraries is being investigated by a grand jury...
...Have a circle of friends...
...The New York Times AMERICAN LETTERS An odd fish spotted swimming in circles in Dr...
...The Nation FOOLS HAVE THEIR DAY The Nation proudly proclaims its faith in an oracular windbag and is hoodwinked once again: ...a man whose heart and mind seem utterly oblivious to age is Cyrus Eaton...
...Accept your responsibilities...
...The Progressive PROGRESS The prodigious march of science as reported to the citizens of the world: Dr...
...Forty-three persons attending a social function in Scarsdale become high when someone put drugs in a wedding cake and in Houston, Karl (the Great) Wallenda set a new high-wire record...
...Therein, Mr...
...The New York Times MODERN PYROBIBLIO Another chilling example of repression and anti-intellectualism in the land once celebrated as a nation of laws: The Inner City Mother Goose, a book found in Buffalo, N.Y...
...A twenty-one-year-old thrill seeker in Carsonville, Michigan, who was pretending to smoke a half-stick of dynamite like a cigar, decapitated himself and destroyed his light show...
...But a chill ran through the foreign ministries of the world on January 29 when the progressive President of Uganda, General Idi Amin, placed that country's armed forces on the alert.nt of Uganda, General Idi Amin, placed that country's armed forces on the alert...
...Bernadine Zorch, of Buffalo, New York...
...A former drug addict, whom doctors say once attempted suicide by gluttony, was released from Baton Rouge General Hospital after treatment for gastritis...
...Then just for kicks, just for fun, plunge the knife and cut and run...
...4. Eat a lot of proteins (meat, fish, dairy products...
...And on the afternoon of January 8 network television presented an unanticipated spectacular when it preempted Monday daytime programming as well as commercials to bring concerned housewives a live telecast of the exciting culmination of the New Orleans shoot out between young Mark Essex, civil rights activist and assassin of eight, and a special team of New Orleans law enforcement agents...
...The Swiss Institute for Experimental Cancer Research claims that smoking marijuana may be as apt to cause cancer as smoking tobacco...
...Zorch, who weighs 876 pounds, drowned in her own fat...
...The Wall Street Journal FIFTY MEGATON BEACHBALLS...
...Be truthful and honest...
...3. Eat slowly...
...John H. Young of Fairbanks, Alaska, was himself mugged and left in a puddle of blood...
...Many people wish their spouse to stay aloof from other entanglements, in order to be available when the mate happens to be lonely...
...Timothy Leary was shipped back to the United States...
...Nixon gave the press its first audience since October 6th...
...And in New York Mr...
...In that sense, Essex's victims and his executioners were probably part of the conspiracy...
...Perhaps the Air Force could pick up where the Navy left off, while the Army explores the possibilities of yo-yos, pogo sticks, and hula hoops...
...Later in the month Lyndon Johnson passed away as did Edgar G. Robinson, Bushrod W. Taylor, Jr., and Eleanor Hankins Fort, the composer of "I didn't know the Gun Was Loaded" and "Put Your Shoes on Lucy...
...Now crusading against drugs, Mr...
...Box 167, Portland, Ore...
...This explains the desire for monogamy...
...Poughkeepsie Express...
...While trying to bathe herself in a special tub, her body shifted and her head became helplessly immersed in her flesh...
...5. Drink a lot of water...
...The incidence of reported rat bites has dropped 17 percent...
...He was the victim of an historic conspiracy- so runs the dizzy casuistry of the incomparable Nation-keeper of white America's black conscience: If a conspiracy was involved it was the historic conspiracy of the white majority to profess adherence to certain stated ideals but to deny them in practice...
...At the end of the month Mr...
...The overwise girl knows how to snub slight a man, to make him lonely, so she can exploit her ability to cure his loneliness...
...That's how the public becomes informed so that they can make a judgement...
...For NERO the Emperor, 63 pages of drama, send $1.00 to: D. Koretz, P.O...
...Mike Walker says that he is down to 920 pounds - a loss of 267 pounds since he began his 1500-calorie-a-day diet...
Vol. 6 • March 1973 • No. 6
