Another Modest Proposal
Quick, Johnathan
"Another Modest Proposal" the A Number One BlueRibbon Fully Certified Libera! of all time, for seeking lo create a 'poisonous atmosphere." In the end, after...
...The tax bill does three things which a substantial number of Americans would not iike to see undone by a Presidential veto...
...Since atheism, the creed of the socialists and communists, is becoming so popular in our universities, the liberal clergy is anxious to free us from the reslraints and shackles of traditional dogma, and our Supreme Court has declared that official encouragement of Christianity is unconstitutional, perhaps we need a new religion, a religion without God, yet dedicated to social welfare...
...Many of us would place our faith in them as the hope for the future, but more and more we are hearing that we must do more, namely legalize abortion at the will or whim of any pregnant girl or woman...
...Published in August, it focuses on the unique position of minority groups in the Congolese electoral process...
...The rich, impressive, ceremony attendant to these infant sacrifices would lend color to our drab existences and would rekindle the flames of patriotic fervor which are so lacking today...
...We should review what other societies in other times have done to curb their population problems...
...The Phoenicians and later: their descendants, the Carthaginians, found that these ceremonies, and the necessary sacrifices involved, brought their people together and heightened their religious and civic sensibilities...
...There is one ancient custom, however, which to my knowledge has not been discussed by any of our sociologists, theologians or welfare experts, and before abandoning our search for a better way, we should look into it...
...As a result, the population of Rome increased to unmanageable proportions, and you know what happened to Rome...
...Still, the President might veto the tax bill and a,,t aw . . . . . . : " it...
...there would be no question about adoption,, and no difficulty about a forced marriage to give the child a name...
...The Alternative Educational News Service is o bi.weekly publication which offers feoture stories, book reviews, research and background materiol for student publicotions~ For a flee subscription send the name and address of your campus ptlMication to: The Alternative Educational News Service, R.R...
...George B. MarMe, a Carlsbad, New Mexico medical doctor...
...Dear Mr...
...Then he could end his five minute speech by announcing that he is calling the Congress back into emergency session and that he hoped the Democratic-controlled Congress would have the decency to act with dispatch to redecorate the Christmas tree, up to but not including Pastore's star on top...
...In the end, after the smoke had cleared, the liberal banner was a thing of shreds and patches...
...They say this is desirable and realistic...
...They are stuck 'with a battleplan which proved useless in Committee but which cannot now be abandoned without revealing partisan or idological motivation...
...The satisfaction is all gone...
...The problem is that, artistically speaking, the Democrats did a very stylish job of attaching the Pastore amendment to the tax bill...
...Plunkitt has agreed to advise American statesmen in this time of troubles...
...The rich, as well as the poor, would make their contribution to the well-being of scoeity...
...Many societies of the past, most notably the Romans, kept population growth in line by the expedience of frequent wars...
...Third, the bill contains a provision whereby working mothers in families with a gross income of $18,000 or less deduct up to $400 a month for child care...
...If two thirds of these have been bought by married adults, there are five million voters who stand to lose $2110 if the excise tax is not repealed...
...This would seem to be the trend of our times...
...Now, through this column, the distinguished Dr...
...11, Box 360, Bloomington, Indiana 47401, Continental U.S.A...
...More than 40 percent of American wives work...
...GWP dent's veto power...
...There would be a salutary by-product of this practical sociologic innovation...
...First, the method is democratic...
...Sugar plums, of course, are supposed to serve as insurance against a veto...
...I have heard that he never wears any clothing under his judicial robes and that he talks in his sleep...
...it can be purchased in all bookstores...
...as the battle switches to the Senate floor, the liberals are hardpressed...
...And given the current consumer boom, the politicians in the Administration and the economists at Treasury (the two categories are t~ot exclusive) would like to put that $200 into the hands of consumers anxious to put it right back into the economy...
...Secondly, sacrificing the first-born would largely solve the problems of the pregnant unmarried girl...
...Therefore, before all legal restraints be discarded...
...This plan is so appealing to some of today's parents that it should get some prompt attention in Congress...
...In ramming through the Pastore amendment, the Democrats clearly stated that subsidizing the Democratic Party is their first priority...
...A few of us may have read in the Bible that such pagan worship was considered by some of the prophets as an abomination...
...The Alternative J a n u a r y , 1972 11 Joseph Rauh, the A-NumberO~e BlueRibbon Fully Certified Libera...
...The predictions are for more wars, famines, social unrest, crime, poverty and the total destruction of the ecology of this planet...
...In fact, he could veto it and put the monkey on the back of the Democrats if he were to go on television and explain that the Democrats were raiding the Treasury and that he would not stand for it...
...Clearly the world must take issue with the problem of overpopulation and do so now before it is too late...
...This became less effective, however, when in later years most ot the fighting was done by the foreign mercenaries and allies...
...This method certainly had its merits, but in today's world it would have to be rejected without serious consideration...
...GWP Dear Mr...
...lTteve are morne,ts, and this is one Of them, when I almost-but only almost -- wish the President was armed with an item veto...
...The sanitation officials would .never put up with it, and in an ecologically minded world such littering of the countryside would be intolerable...
...Second, the bill contains the repeal of the excise tax on automobiles...
...There are, however, obstacles and objections to the dependence of our societies on abortion as the answer to the population explosion...
...the American Medical Association would be against it and would successfully oppose it with their powerful lobby in Washington...
...For one, it isn't cheap...
...Dear Mr...
...Chiles: I am returning your letter unanswered...
...Some of the less well known civilizations of the past have even tried chastity and continence as a means to prevent unwanted children...
...It ranks higher than national defense, increased aid to education, or more spending for the environment -it ranks at the very top of their list...
...even with government sponsored free abortion clinics, the cost per operation and for the proper preoperative and post-operative care would, it is estimated, be at least two hundred dollars...
...such old-fashioned ideas would be laughed at by our sophisticated leaders today...
...The real moral of this story is that, given enough rhetorical rope, the Democrats have hung themselves...
...With the first baby out of the way, the mother could work...
...George Washington Plunkitt, our prize-winning political analyst, has just completed a penetrating study of the last Congolese election...
...For several years now the principle Democratic slogan has been that it is time to reorder our priorities...
...I humbly propose that we consider their remarkable example...
...Abortion, they correctly point out is tomorrow's remedy for today's mistakes, and eliminates the need for prudence and self-discipline...
...In the past, India always maintained a controllable population...
...Before dismissing this proposal out of hand, let us analyze its benefits...
...They argue that contraception takes forethought, a characteristic rather lacking in today's society where one buys now and pays later, indulges tonight and takes headache pills tomorrow...
...All this is accepted and the facts are well documented but still in dispute are the methods of controlling this population growth...
...Whenever things began to get out of hand they would manage to have a great cholera epidemic or similar.catastrophe...
...Thus he will be under treatment at the Arlington Veterinary Clinic this winter where he will undergo a brain transplant replacing his own damaged instrument with that of a four-year-old Guernsey cow...
...Before moving the amendment, they helped load the bill with sugar plums...
...Sincerely, Lewis F. Powell, Jr...
...The repeal will mean an average rebate of $200 for each person who has purchased an automobile since the freeze" began on 15 August...
...It is a grisly, messy business at best...
...And they would like to have that $200 in time for the Christmas shopping...
...First, it raises the individual exemption from $650 1o $750 or .$800...
...the alternative of abortion would fall more heavily upon the poor or disadvantaged...
...Cordially, Lawton Chiles, U.S.S, Dear Mr...
...What can I do...
...Newer methods, notably the pill and other contraceptive devices, have proven to be quite effective...
...Of course, I do not intend that the people of this world revert to worshiping the god, Moloch...
...However, Senator Walter Stitch has already warned me that it would likely be opposed by the Women's Liberation movement...
...More than three million ears have been sold during the freeze...
...Plunkitt: I'm the only Senator who hasn't been considered by a national magazine as a front runner for the Democratic nomination...
...The Christian religion, among others, would likely take a dim view of this proposal were we to worship any other than our present deities...
...Senator since no one has ever mentioned you as a Presidential candidate...
...11, Box 360, Bloomington, Indiana 47401...
...But today there seem to be a number of secular institutions widely acclaimed by the organized religious to which various sacrifices are deemed proper and are encouraged...
...t is worth more, politically, than a slew of trips to Peking...
...The poor and unwanted generally got the worst of it, thus eliminating much hunger and poverty...
...Of course more brain damage is not a terribly serious debility for a man like Justice Douglas, but Liberal critics of the court feel Ms commentaries will lose some of their old zing if he does not undergo surgery by February...
...For another thing, abortion is distasteful to the conservative elements of society and it is unlikely that the Catholic Church will ever agree to' it...
...The Chinese used to have splendid epidemics too, but they also worked out a convenient plan that could be applied on an individual family basis according to need...
...Address all correspondence to The Bootblack Stand, The Establishment, R.R...
...It is the method discovered and practiced bY an eminently successful civilization which lived and prospered for fifteen hundred years, a lot longer than the Romasn...
...Rehnquist was not only unbloodied and unbowed, but virtually untouched...
...It does seem a shame...
...Another Modest Proposal Johnatluln Quick A lmost every thinker on the subject agrees that the greatest problem facing the world today is the population explosion, which is more than apparent now and promises to be an ever increasing difficulty in the future...
...This column is to assist statesmen, and I doubt that you actually are a U.S...
...One of the methods for population control thai would seem to hold the greatest promise is, of course, birth control...
...You see this summer the Justice suffered severe brain damage while sitting under a women's hair dryer at a sit-in at the Luscious Skull Beauty Salon in Arlington, Virginia...
...And I am afraid that this ancient and honorable method of population control would be effectively blocked by our vocal pacifistic organizations...
...PROPOSAL continued from page 11) condoned by our modern liberal society...
...The prospects are good-toexcellent that both Powell and Rehnquist will be confirmed...
...Thirdly, the plan would enable young married couples to get off to a better start in life...
...Taxes levied on the self-supporting to care for the indigent would be high indeed...
...He could express his anxiety about the good things in the vetoed tax bill...
...We must regretfully dismiss this method too...
...Perhaps our little human sacrifices could be made to the United Nations, that organization dedicated to the solution of world tensions and problems, not the least of which is the population explosion...
...In fact, a great many doctors abhor the idea and will refuse to perform abortions...
...Besides there are no convenient mountains near our great population centers such as New York, Chicago and Houston...
...The promise of that rebate, plus the price freeze on 1972 models, plus the general wave of optimism about the economy caused an enormous spurt of automobile sales...
...Plunkitt: If I am raised to the Supreme Court can I possibly avoid sitting next to Justice Douglas without hurting his feelings...
...They sold their daughters into slavery, at once providing for their offsprings' futures while relieving the economic problem at home...
...Furthermore, war today has lost its general appeal and color...
...Powell: It is most unlikely that you will hurt Justice Douglas' feelings, for he is going to be in the hospital much of this winter...
...And now...
...I mention them only for the sake of historical completeness...
...It is titled Escape: A New Demand Respo~se System...
...We no longer charge into battle on horses with banners flying, and seldom have the opportunities of directly hacking down our enemies with battle axes...
...A direct $100 or $150 bonus is a rarity: it is a noticeable, tangible benefit from the Government...
...Ttw above is the seCot~i satire on abortion which has appeared in The Alternative under the pen name "-dohnathan Quick," who is in fact Dr...
...In or out of wedlock, young people could indulge themselves sexually with all the freedom that is encouraged and The A l t e r n a t i v e J a n u a r y , 1972 21 The Bootblack Stand Dr...
...So a lot of voters are already counting this chicken and they will be peeved if it does not hatch...
...These people, the Phoenicians, solved the problem by sacrificing all of their first-born children to their deity, Moloch...
...ought we not to consider all other forms of population control...
...Let us consider the ancient Greeks who exposed their defective and unwanted infants on the mountain tops...
Vol. 5 • January 1972 • No. 4
