Some Veterans Weren't in Washington
McCollum, Michael
Some Veterans Weren't in Washington Michael McCollum It recently became apparent that the news media were going to undertake the patriotic task of reporting on the post-military activities of our...
...By the end of the week I knew that the news media were up to their old tricks and if I wanted to find out what the majority of the Vietnam veterans were doing I'd have to find out on my own...
...After watching subsequent reports, media were going to report on only these poor devils...
...I half expected to see Roger Mudd interviewing my old buddy, Frank, who is now working and raising his family in Alaska...
...This should provide some insight into what the majority of the veterans are presently up to...
...I must admit, however, that I was a bit skeptical of their intentions because of my memories of the way the courageous reporters covered our actions in combat...
...Almost sixty-five per cent were married, and many of them had at least one child...
...Using the latest statistical techniques-carrier pigeons, telephone taps, peeping toms, a classified number of informers and "reliable sources"-I compiled a survey of what veterans were doing last week...
...Confirming the rumors that military indoctrinaton has many dangerous long-range effects it was found that most veterans took baths last week, many polished their shoes and some got haircuts...
...Having been "scooped" though, maybe now they will be forced to report the dull stories about the veterans who are proud to have served and have returned to society to lead normal, productive lives...
...It seems to me to be a grave injustice to these veterans who so obviously were suffering from mental instability...
...At any rate, it was not a total disappointment because none of my old friends were present and it was good to know that they had survived, psychologically...
...They were in Washington for some sort of reunion or possibly to be near those in the government with similar problems and beliefs...
...The first report was quite a disappointment...
...Many had full-time jobs, five per cent "were looking," about twenty per cent were in college, a few were in jail and about one per cent is presumably insane...
...Some were divorced and a few were named as correspondents in divorce cases...
...Most had just paid their federal income taxes...
...The coverage was limited to the less than one-tenth of one per cent who, due to some apparent personal tragedy, had gone insane...
...Being a Vietnam veteran, myself, I looked to the occasion with great anticipation expecting to find out what my old friends from "the war" were up to these days...
...Some Veterans Weren't in Washington Michael McCollum It recently became apparent that the news media were going to undertake the patriotic task of reporting on the post-military activities of our Vietnam veterans...
...As to their views on Vietnam, many didn't plan to vacation there this summer, while a few planned to send their in-laws and fifteen per cent were still taking penicillin...
...For the benefit of other veterans who might be interested, I shall include some of the more pertinent results...
...So complete was their psychosis that many had lost all shame and seemed to thrive on the exposure...
...I realize that the news media will be sick when they find that they have been "scooped," as this is the type of information on which they all survive when the crazy people aren't in town...
...Only a miniscule proportion of them reported that they had demonstrated, though a smaller number reported that they sold vacuum cleaners door-to-door...
...It was also a disservice to us remaining veterans because no attempt was made to find out how many of these crazy people were really veterans...
...But, being an eternal optimist, I gathered my wife and daughter around the TV, in a spirit of reunion on the evening of the first TV report...
...Most of them reportedly loved their wives, though some loved other persons' wives...
...Can you imagine a more pitiful sight than Walter Cronkite and Eric Severeid in an unemployment line...
...Since the report was filmed in Washington I imagine that it would be very easy for some of the local citizenry to mingle with these veterans, thus inflating their size...
...It seems a shame for the media to stoop so low, but they must keep busy...
Vol. 4 • May 1971 • No. 6
