The Bootblack Stand: Letters to Plunkitt from Senator Bayh and Governor Maddox
The Bootblack Stand Dr. George Washington Plunkitt, our prize-winning political analyst, has just completed a penetrating study of the last Congolese election. Published in August, it focuses on...
...The Boston Irish were great baseball players, and Senator Lodge would often join them in a game, allowing himself to be photographed by the press...
...Muhammad Ali a call...
...Call a press conference announcing your intention to publicly dine with a large party of Negroes...
...I suggest you invite a leading black athlete to play with you publicly...
...Dear Mr...
...Indeed I would like to serve the great people of that great nation as their president...
...The problem is that -like the Kennedys - I was educated at an Eastern school (Purdue University) and am not familiar with the Americanism off and running...
...There is, among our black brethren, a public spirited organization formed for just this purpose...
...Now, the distinguished Dr...
...My postman is a gentleman of southern European extraction whose middle name is Stannous Fluoride...
...Brother Huey P. Newton, Black Panther Headquarters, Berkeley, California (zip code 94712...
...According to my staff these papers have now conspired to give the American people the impression that I am anti-nigra...
...If this does not suit your purposes I am reminded of Senator Henry Cabot Lodge's efforts at the turn of the century to endear himself with his Irish constituents...
...Plunkitt: According to the NEW YORK TIMES I am "off and running" for the presidency of the United States of America, a country for which I have always had deep respect and high admiration...
...A New Demand Response System...
...Plunkitt: In my unending strivances to keep Georgia, the Peach State, abosomed of the rest of the nation, I have summoned members of my staff to regularly read the great gazettes of the land even the bolshevist papers of the Liberal northeast...
...Plunkitt has agreed to, through this column, advise American statesmen in this time of troubles...
...11, Box 360, Bloomington, Indiana, 47401, Continental U.S.A...
...My best to your wife Marvela...
...Give Mr...
...How can I correct this false image...
...How does one go off and running...
...I have diligently examined your record and let me assure you that you are more than a little "off...
...It is titled Escape...
...GWP...
...Published in August, it focuses on the unique position of minority groups in the Congolese electoral process...
...In reply to your letter, be simple, straightforward and covert...
...Address all correspondence to The Bootblack Stand, c/ o The Establishment, R.R...
...Birch Bayh, Senator Dear Senator Bayh: How nice of you to write...
...If you follow this diet regularly you will not only be considerably off but you will be running...
...If there was ever a Red this is the man...
...I would have expected him to purloin your letter thus protecting the columnious rumor that you cannot write...
...For breakfast and dinner I advise several bowls of chile con carne and for lunch apple pie and cider...
...Do not concern yourself about the first half of this Americanism...
...And for a restaurant I suggest a charming little place in New York's elegant Harlem section called, I believe, The Pig and Whistle...
...As for the "running," drink vast quantities of prune juice chased down by a glass of warm beer...
...GWP Dear Mr...
...For further information telephone or have the scholar on your staff telephone a Mr...
...Sincerely, Lester Maddox Governor of Georgia Dear Governor Maddox Sir: How fortunate that your letter got here safely...
...This is a lesson of history which it would behoove you to manipulate...
...it can be purchased in all bookstores...
...GWP Ali a call...
Vol. 4 • December 1970 • No. 2
