The Continuing Crisis

Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr.

THe coNTINuING crIsIs R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. september proved to be a month of frightful economic turbulence, rudely distracting the electorate from the delightful amusement provided by...

...Nonetheless, after an entire month of whoppers, Senator Biden remained plausible to the media and Governor Palin dubious...
...It will be a protest of capital punishment in America...
...Marco Evaristti, the Chilean concept artist, is apparently repentant...
...Qaddafi’s acts of terror slowed markedly after the bombing, and as doctors attemptedtorepairdisordersthatspread throughout the dictator’s upper gastrointestinal system...
...Tension continued in Georgia, where a Georgian police officer was shot by Russian troops and the Georgians claimed to have shot down a Russian drone, though it may simply have run out of vodka...
...He was not a coal miner, though his father was a car salesman, which explains a lot...
...More on this later...
...John Belushi, Mr...
...Come back to the area where my helicopter was forced down with a three-star general and three senators at 10,500 feet in the middle of those mountains...
...In Ukraine, taxpayers were nonplussed in the city of Golaya Pristan, after city leaders marked the town’s 299th anniversary by unveiling a huge cement frog of indistinct national origin...
...It certainly did not look like a Ukrainian...
...Parsons and broke wind...
...september proved to be a month of frightful economic turbulence, rudely distracting the electorate from the delightful amusement provided by Senator Joseph Biden and the Prophet Obama...
...Museum goers at a future “art installation” will then be asked to feed Mr...
...by the end of september, the old B.S.-er himself had revived memories of his mendacious past, his phony academic record, his plagiarism in law school, and his plagiarism in pursuit of the 1988 presidential nomination...
...On with the Crisis...
...I can tell you where they are...
...In Mr...
...Hathorn’s unhappy dispatch, take pos session of his remains and transform them into fish food...
...Irony, oh irony, at the end of the month it was this dunce’s rude interview with Governor Palin thatthemediarecalledandnothermoronicmoment with Senator Biden...
...Both statements were rehashes of his September 9 pish-posh that “the superhighway of terror between Pakistan and Afghanistan [is] where my helicopter was forced down...
...On September 17, at an appearance in Ohio, Senator Biden tapped the chest of a reporter (presumably male) and said, “You need to work on your pecs...
...In Charleston, West Virginia, 34-year-old Mr...
...That’s where I was born and raised...
...Qaddafi has been unwell since President Ronald Reagan, irked by Mr...
...In that race, he lifted from British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock’s biographical 10 THe amerIcaN sPecTaTor November 2008 r. emmeTT Tyrrell, Jr...
...According to the police complaint, “The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature...
...Gene Hathorn...
...as the presidential campaign wore on, Senator McCain’s running mate, Governor Sarah Palin, was pummeled with questions from the media about her foreign policy experience, which could not compare with that of the delightful Senator Biden, who on September 22 B.S.-ed a Baltimore audience with, “If you want to know where al Qaeda lives, you want to know where bin Laden is, come back to Afghanistan with me...
...Paul Newman at the age of 83 and Miss Anita Page, 98, who was one of Hollywood’s last silent-screen stars...
...actually, as september ended, knowledgeable students of politics began to wonder why the vicepresidential candidacy of Governor Palin raised any eyebrows at all, save for the fact that, unlike her opponent—and so many other campaigning pols— she is not a locker room B.S.-er or an airhead...
...Qaddafi’srepeatedactsofterrorinthe1980s,bombed his headquarters, a tent...
...Then the country’s year-long credit tightening suffered a veritable seizure...
...Two days later he added that al Qaeda’s headquarters had been moved to “the mountains between Afghanistan and Pakistan, where my helicopter was recently forced down...
...Kornblum was also an expert on chokeholds and was called to testify in the trial of the “preppy killer” in 1986...
...secretary of state condoleezza rice met with Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi, ending 40 years of frosty relations between Washington and Tripoli...
...treacle, adapting it for an American audience thus: “My ancestors, who worked in the coal mines of Northeast Pennsylvania and would come up after 12 hours and play football for four hours...
...Ronald Kornblum...
...Six days later he disclosed to his fellow airhead, CBS’s Miss Katie Couric, that, in response to the 1929 stock market crash, “Franklin Roosevelt got on television and didn’t just talk about, you know, the princes of greed...
...Literate Americans had a good laugh at that one, but what has yet to be noted is that Miss Couric gave no hint that she was aware that back in 1929 no television audience existed and that Mr...
...Now the great man has signed an agreement with a Texas death row inmate, Mr...
...Mr...
...Well, the city leaders could have unveiled a cement ukulele or a pollywog...
...What on earth has a frog got to do with our town...
...In 2000, he made art history by asking museum goers to turn on electric blenders filled with water and goldfish...
...Then, after President George W. Bush so rudely inconvenienced President Saddam Hussein in 2003, Mr...
...Finally, Mr...
...November 2008 THe amerIcaN sPecTaTor 11...
...Left unsaid by the senator—who rarely leaves anything unsaid—was that the helicopter was “brought down” not by enemy fire but by inclement weather...
...Qaddafi, dressed completely in white bedsheets, his chest crisscrossed by sashes, possibly on loan from the Shriners, remained alert throughout much of the meeting, though his translators seemed perplexed by his efforts at speech...
...Kinnock’s version his Welsh ancestors “could work eight hours underground and then come up and play football...
...Cruz then allegedly waved his gaseous discharge in the direction of Patrolman Parsons, who was preparing a breathalyzer test for the assailant...
...The clever Republican presidential candidate plucked from the Alaskan countryside a lady governor who is both easy on the eyes and an NRA-certified huntress...
...Bush’s critics rarely note...
...Early in the month Senator John McCain appeared to be pulling ahead of the Obama-Biden slapstick...
...Mr...
...Roosevelt did not become president until 1933...
...On September 21, addressing an audience filled with coal miners in Virginia, he fibbed: “…I am a hard-coal miner—anthracite coal, Scranton, Pennsylvania...
...Hathorn to an aquarium of goldfish...
...Earlier in the month, the leaders of South Ossetia and Abkhazia signed “friendship” treaties with Russia, apparently of their own free will and notwithstandingthedangersuchtreatieshaveposed to signatories in the past...
...exclaimed Mrs...
...Leo DiCaprio...
...Miss Susan Sarandon comes to mind, and Mr...
...Evaristti will, upon Mr...
...Truman Capote, and Miss Karen Carpenter...
...Natalia Slivka, a local sage who went on: “And why have they put up a massive statue using taxpayers’ money to mark the town’s 299th anniversary...
...THe coNTINuING crIsIs R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr...
...In the month’s obituaries,Hollywood suffered the loss of Mr...
...The Bush administration rushed forward with a $700 billion taxpayer rescue, but many Americanos objected...
...Qaddafi became a lot more reasonable—a cause-and-effect process that Mr...
...Would that we had more of them today...
...Kornblum had the enviable duty of performing autopsies on “the stars,” notably, Mr...
...In 1987, Senator Biden’s B.S.-ing forced him out of the race, but now he has returned to his coal mining fibs...
...Jose Cruz was charged with assaulting a police officer after he leaned toward Patrolman T.E...
...Doubtless the museums of the world will be competing furiously for this “installation...
...Death also claimed Mr...

Vol. 41 • November 2008 • No. 9


 
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