THE CONTINUING CRISIs
Tyrrell, R.Emmett Jr.
R . E m m e t t T y r r e l l , J r . T H e c o n T I n u I n g c R I s I s March actually came in like a lion and went out like a lamb, with members of the Clinton Cult, which dates back to...
...That just made the Angry Left on her left angrier still...
...Her campaign also distributed, without permission, an American Spectator article (“McPeak on Display,” The American Spectator online, March 24, 2008) that questioned the foreign policy integrity of one of Senator Barack Obama’s supporters...
...by the end of the month, Senator Clinton was driven to granting an interview to Mr...
...The scientists remain vague as to the ancient species’ possible aptitude for using chopsticks...
...R . E m m e t t T y r r e l l , J r . T H e c o n T I n u I n g c R I s I s March actually came in like a lion and went out like a lamb, with members of the Clinton Cult, which dates back to the mysterious apparition of Miss Monica Lewinsky, wondering whether their heroes are headed for history’s junk heap...
...Art Price, Jr...
...The list of potential speakers at the Harvard State University Law School gained a promising candidate after New York’s reform Governor Eliot SpRitzer was forced to resign for a nocturnal transaction of a sexual nature that he had with Miss Ashley Dupree at Washington, D.C.’s Mayflower Hotel...
...William Jungers, claiming that a six-million-year-old ancestral species related to Homo sapiens possessed Two geography students living in Chesapeake, Virginia, set off a bidding war on eBay after discovering a corn flake shaped like the state of Illinois and by the end of the month reportedly had a bid of $180,000...
...Things went no better for her husband, who blew up at a Clinton supporter at the California Democratic convention when asked about his old friend Mr...
...David Trimble assessed the claim...
...Oh, and take a guitar player and a comedian with you...
...was arrested March 14 on charges of public indecency after being caught on film engaging in sex with a picnic table—presumably without the table’s consent...
...According to Sheriff Bryan Whipple of Ness County, Kansas, the 35-year-old woman’s skin had grown around the seat and “We pried the toilet seat off…” Oh, forget it...
...Back in the States, bird watchers were given much to think about after Mr...
...Miss Emily McIntire, 15, who with her sister, Melissa, made the Internet killing, explained, “It [the Illinois-shaped corn flake] was almost to my mouth...
...That is exactly what many thought after goody-goody SpRitzer’s resignation...
...After receiving a new kidney, Mrs...
...On February 18, 1988, Miss Brown explicated to the assembled future Supreme Court justices her challenge as a New York City homeless person to Mayor Edward Koch’s efforts to hospitalize mentally ill vagrants...
...It is rumored that he will become the anchor for a new children’s news hour, for toddlers five and under...
...Most probably,” Dr...
...Richmond informed the New York Times, Orrorin tugensis “climbed trees, presumably to forage, build nests, and seek refuge...
...What Miss Dupree might speak on remains merely conjectural, though she could offer insights into former Governor SpRitzer’s sexual preferences...
...Johnson’s experience raises provocative questions regarding the future of a German retiree who is suing a clinic in Hochfranken, Bavaria, after she entered the hos pital for leg surgery and awoke to discover she had been given a new anus...
...He was completely nude,” averred Police Captain Matt Johnson...
...Mrs...
...The journal Science has published findings by two paleoanthropologists, Dr...
...Then, she was derided as a sophomoric B.S.-er for claiming that she endured “sniper fire” when she landed in Bosnia in 1996 with her daughter, the singer Sheryl Crow, and comedian Sinbad...
...Kory McFarren called in police to remove his girlfriend from his bathroom’s toilet seat where she had been seated for two years...
...He has been given his bow tie back...
...In Australia, Miss Karen Lee Cooper stabbed her common law husband, Mr...
...In faraway Preston, Lancashire in the United Kingdom, the consequence of an organ transplant raised intriguing questions about the perfectibility of all humankind...
...Miss Dupree, if chosen to speak at the law school, will join a long list of fascinating speakers, the first of whom was Miss Joyce Brown...
...Who knows what those might be, but in Bellevue, Ohio, Mr...
...Cheryl Johnson, 37, experienced what she calls a “personality transplant,” leading her to reject lowbrow novels for the classics and other artistic uplift...
...Richard M. Scaife and his staff at the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, pursuant to winning votes in the Pennsylvania Democratic primary...
...This story is beyond the pale...
...Her employer at the high-priced escort service patronized by the governor has been heard on tape telling Miss Dupree that he “would ask you to do things that, like, you might not think were safe...
...Scientists call the phenomenon the “cellular memory phenomenon,” and can cite other organ transplant patients who have acquired the characteristics of their deceased organ donors...
...According to the scientists, the species, Orrorin tugensis, also had highly developed manual skills...
...Nevertheless, political observers remain astonished by Senator Barack Obama’s ability to raise vast sums on the Internet...
...I mean,” she explained, “who the hell doesn’t like Bruce Springsteen, for God’s sake...
...The former boy President might consider anger management counseling...
...Her explanation—that the place was “too dangerous” for her husband— evoked more laughter, encouraged by Sinbad, who asked puckishly: “What kind of president would say, ‘Hey man, I can’t go ’cause I might get shot, so I’m going to send my wife...
...Sinbad, if you were familiar with Boy Clinton’s draft record, you might not find your question all that absurd...
...Bill Richardson’s endorsement of Sena tor Obama...
...Then, there is the report of another surprised German, Fraulein Ingrid Bruelling, 33, who entered a clinic in the city of Kassel for surgery to remove wrinkles and awoke with new breasts...
...And in the mainland China province of Hubei, a recently married woman known only as Luo burned her husband to death after he got into bed without washing his feet...
...Well, actually Mr...
...A Berlin plumber threw his ex-girlfriend’s cat to its death from his fifth-floor apartment after she took all her belongings from the place and left the cat...
...the capacity to walk upright and perhaps even dance a crude rumba...
...In Belarus, Mrs...
...Next month, another crisis...
...It didn’t look like Illinois at first, because it was held the wrong way...
...MSNBC has finally discontinued Mr...
...M a y 2 0 0 8 T H e a M e R I c a n s P e c T a T o R 1 1...
...Once you think you’ve seen it all, something else comes around...
...Celebrating her birthday in the traditional Belarus way by lying between railroad tracks after a couple of drinks, she “felt very comfortable” and never heard the train rushing over her...
...She and members of the EMS crew that came to the scene all had a good laugh...
...There were many occasions 1 0 T H e a M e R I c a n s P e c T a T o R M a y 2 0 0 8 R . e M M e T T T y R R e l l , J R . for it in March...
...senator Hillary clinton’s campaign continued its grim detumescence, with the candidate taking desperate measures and being caught flagrante delicto by her Episodic Apologists, who no longer seem to be hoodwinked by her adolescent mendacity...
...Is there any organ transplant available that might improve the Clintons’ declining spirits...
...Then the geography prodigy made her exciting discovery: “Oh my goodness, it’s Illinois...
...First, she was laughed at for B.S.-ing that she had been instrumental in effecting the Northern Ireland peace accords...
...Tucker Carlson’s show, Tucker, after this column’s years of ribbing the young minicon...
...Svetlana Yurkova, 32, survived being run over by an express train without suffering a scratch and with her makeup perfectly intact...
...Kevin Watson, when he turned off her Bruce Springsteen CD...
...One wonders...
...Miss Brown was subsequently arrested on a string of charges that doubtless her audience still considers suspicious, for instance, possession of heroin, disorderly conduct, assault, and defecating in public...
...Two geography students living in Chesapeake, Virginia, set off a bidding war on eBay after discovering a corn flake shaped like the state of Illinois and by the end of the month reportedly had a bid of $180,000...
...Brian Richmond and Dr...
...A wee bit silly,” is how Noble Peace Prize winner Mr...
Vol. 41 • May 2008 • No. 4
