THE CONTINUING CRISIS
Tyrell, R. Emmet Jr.
THe conTInuInG cRIsIs R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. one of the calendar’s rare 29-day Februaries passed into the history books, and with it went one of this column’s most illustrious fans, Mr....
...From his early days covering worth every penny...
...In fact, Bill is the only American ever known to have read portions of “The Continuing Crisis” in public—admiringly...
...ideology, it’s about political reality...
...Period...
...Laszlo Papp, began the assault innocently enough by declaring to Miss Kovac, “I don’t fancy my chicken breast,” but then he ruined what could have been a lovely vegetarian relation-ship by adding, “I think I’ll try yours...
...Such decisions during the Clinton years included Bill’s calls to Monica for “phone sex” and the Secret Service’s decisions on how to dispose hygienically of her cigar...
...Promising to “shift power from the few to the many,” Mr...
...Everybody has a weird feeling about it,” a soldier at the barracks informed the Austrian media...
...That level of understanding Frankly, I wouldn’t be without it, and neither should you...
...He did it on a November evening in 1999 at The American Spectator’s annual dinner after accepting our jour-nalistic achievement award, now called “The Barbara Olson Award...
...William F. Buckley Jr., who passed away on the morning of February 27...
...I wouldn’t want to be without Bob’s keen observations...
...Berlusconi, particularly in the tra-ditionalist south and on television...
...On stage, Senator Obama towered above the increasingly podgy Senator Clinton: his glistening eyes cast heavenward, lips pursed, hands pressed in prayer, a faint halo forming as angel’s wings sprouted from his wondrous deltoids...
...Describing this column’s style as a series of “ironic amalgamations,” Bill proceeded to read the more goofball passages of a recent “Crisis...
...nor was the united states the only country engaged in presidential politics in February...
...It seems his plans for introducing an intellectual review, Bathroom Beautiful, are now in limbo, as is his rumored plan to market a line of menthol toilet paper...
...Simba Makoni, “a frog” and “a prostitute...
...The doll was losing air very quickly and due to a faulty electrical circuit it didn’t make the expected sounds...
...Senator Larry Craig’s efforts to advance lavatorianism as a legiti-mate lifestyle suffered a setback when the Senate 8 THe AMeRIcAn sPecTAToR APRIl 2008 R. eMMeTT TYRRell, JR...
...Bruno, she continued to campaign in a cloud of obliviousness, asking the electorate to behold what she B.S.-ed as her “35 years of experience...
...How we shall miss him...
...ists, administration officials, and other journalists have I’m going to tell you where true devoured Bob’s letter...
...In Zimbabwe the rhetoric soared as President Robert Mugabe tapped into his country’s literary past, call-ing his opponent, Mr...
...The animal lovers argue that KFC chickens are abused, but late in February they themselves were put on the defensive when one of their own was accused of the “abuse” of a canine American in Wichita, Kansas...
...But we asked for—and got—a terrific Capitol Hill for the Wall Street Journal to the pinnacle of deal for American Spectator subscribers...
...Al Sharpton of birding, an advocate for human beings and the birds...
...Then there was the election in Italy, where former premier Silvio Berlusconi’s comeback pros-pects dimmed after the Italian Supreme Court barred men—even non-candidates—from crotch-grabbing, that ancient custom Italian males use to ward off the evil eye and attract female admirers...
...Yet if you were to ask people in honored when Bob’s publisher agreed to make it available the know who has “the best” sources in Washington, 9 out of to you as a subscriber to The American Spectator...
...The insider’s Bible—the Evans-Novak With his private newsletter, it’s as if you were the proverbial “fly Political Report on the wall” in Bob’s private conversations...
...APRIl 2008 THe AMeRIcAn sPecTAToR 9 A SPECIAL INVITATION FOR AMERICAN SPECTATOR SUBSCRIBERS FROM THE DESK OF R. EMMETT TYRRELL Better than a White House Pass Want to know a secret...
...On February 21, the Wichita Eagle reported that a 20-year-old man was arrested for engaging in sexual congress with a four-year-old rottweiler against the dog’s will...
...on Wall Street and in State Houses across the country...
...The child found thriving midst dozens of cages in the family apartment unfortunately is only capable of communicating in chirps...
...That’s why Bob’s subThink about how hard it would be to develop your scribers include executives and politicians from across the own impeccable sources of useful information...
...Perhaps if in the future the sol-diers leave base in small groups or with a chaperone things will be okay, but for now there is fear in the Austrian army...
...The American Spectator Bob has developed sources and reported on vital top-Bob’s letter normally sells for $297 per year—and it’s ics for more than 40 years...
...is possible only because of the behind-the-scenes conversa-tions he has with officials at the highest levels of govern-Special offer for you as a subscriber to ment and commerce...
...strange it sounded to us, we went to the sex shop,” asseverated Miss Iulian Mara of the Consumer Pro-tection Office, “…and found out he was justified...
...And at 10 would respond Bob Novak...
...The assailant, Mr...
...The Crisis finally ends on an upbeat...
...Moreover, a defective valve caused it to deflate prematurely, bringing its owner acute embarrassment, particularly when he brought his doll to cocktail parties or the Romanian version of the Barn Dance called the Fafel...
...I could go on, but there is burlesque to report...
...A Hungarian lawyer locally known as the “Bill Clinton of Hungary” is facing a sexual assault suit for fun-lovingly biting the breast of a curvaceous colleague, Miss Imola Kovac (38-28-36...
...finally birdwatchers were again in the news, and this time they are not boney-kneed eggheads in shorts and funny hats roaming the English-speaking world...
...Is she referring to her cattle futures bonanza, Filegate, Miss Monica Lewinsky, Mrs...
...cians, to presidential advisors, to staff aides, to secretaries...
...Now he is gone, but that scene, like so many of the incomparable scenes from his incomparable life, endures in memory, for instance, the time at our 10th anniversary dinner in 1977 when he came on stage with AmSpec editors to sing our corporate song, “I Am a 100% American...
...She ended the month broadcasting an utterly delusional televi-sion ad...
...You will be amazed So how do I (and how can you) capitalize on Bob’s inside at what you will learn in each and every issue...
...knowledge...
...how many years—decades really—it would take to develLimited availability op unshakeable trust with key contacts in the Defense ENPR is perhaps the most insightful, hard-hitting and Department, the White House, the Justice Department, accurate newsletter in the country...
...He could become the Rev...
...news means that is so impressive...
...The court, however, ruled the act “contrary to public decency” though permissible in the privacy of one’s domicile and with the shades down...
...Kathleen Willey, the sad fate of her cat, Socks...
...Nader it seems will be cam-paigning beyond the 0.3% of the electorate who voted for him in 2004...
...As for Ms...
...With steely-eyed precision Bob insiders turn when they need to understand what just hap-reports, analyzes and predicts the most important stories pened in politics...
...The doll was losing air very quickly and due to a faulty electricalcircuititdidn’tmaketheexpectedsounds...
...On February 24 he announced plans to run for the presidency whether Congressman Dennis Kucinich wins the Democratic nomination or not...
...And while on the subject of chicken breasts, legislative efforts by a state representative in Kentucky to make Kentucky Fried Chicken that state’s “official picnic food” became ensnared in controversy when mem-bers of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) took offense...
...No matter how “No matter how strange it sounded to us, we went to the sex shop,” asseverated Miss Iulian Mara of the Consumer Protection Office, “…and found out he was justified...
...This goody two-shoes is going to become intolerable...
...THe conTInuInG cRIsIs R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr...
...A colleague leaving the building as a man and returning as a woman after his holiday is more than a bit strange...
...And they’re not just earth-shattering, headline-information that scores of Senators, members of Congress, grabbing news stories that Bob unearths (although he’s had bank presidents, influential editors, and even Bush’s top his fair share of those, too...
...Throughout the month the scansorial Senator Barack H. Obama struck an ever more sanctimo-nious pose as he debated the smirking, faltering, fuming Senator Hillary Clinton...
...it is his explaining what the advisors see...
...Imagine political spectrum...
...Well, my Well it ain’t just by watching him on TV, that’s for sure!friend, then today is your lucky day...
...Where she stands on Kentucky’s chicken controversy is unknown...
...Yet he has an amazing empathy for our feathered friends, and if he reaches maturity, he could serve as a human link between birdwatchers and avifauna everywhere...
...continued next page...
...Unbeknownst to most people outside Washington,Because today I’m going to share every 14 days Bob Novak quietly circulates a privately published with you a little-known, but vital letter called the Evans-Novak Political Report.source of the world’s most valuable For more than 30 years, captains of industry, lobby-commodity—useful information...
...Does she think the electorate suffers the same amnesia as the mainstream media...
...a significant saving, too...
...Ralph Nader, is once again putting on his dirty trench coat...
...affecting politics and business today...
...In consumer news, Romania’s Consumer Protec-tion Office has taken action against the proprietor of a sex shop in Brasov, Transylvania, after a customer complained that his inflatable doll’s moan had become incapacitated...
...Yet you’ll never see it on newsstands, and it has seldom After 30 years in the business, I’m proud of the sources of even been made available to the public...
...Perhaps more importantly, I’m going to tell you about The Evans-Novak Political Report isn’t about political my “crystal ball” for knowing what is about to happen...
...You can have success he now enjoys, Bob has fostered inside sources in Bob’s bi-weekly letter sent directly to your home (and every government department, and office—from top politi-e-mail) for just $197—$100 off the regular price...
...No one else comes up with the big stories, week after When you think about it, don’t you deserve the same week...
...Meanwhile back in the United States, consumers went into a frenzy upon hearing that their messiah, 74-year-old Mr...
...Frankly, we were information I’ve developed...
...It asked the electorate to imagine decisions that are supposedly de rigueur in the White House at “3:00 a.m...
...Both words, in the local argot, have a lyrical ring that does not really translate well into English...
...The judgment is bound to hurt Mr...
...Russian social workers in Kirovsky, Volgograd, have located an anonymous lady birder who has been raising her seven-year-old son in a virtual aviary...
...At the Austrian military barracks in Gratkorn, soldiers have become increasingly reluctant to leave base after a 46-year-old captain named Gregor returned from a three-month leave as a woman, now named Jasmin...
...Select Committee on Ethics ruled that he acted improperly in a Minneapolis lavatory sex sting, though none of the committee’s senators was actu-ally there and Senator Craig is always scrupulous about washing his hands before leaving the lavatory...
...It is abuse,” declared a spokeswoman for the Kansas Humane Society...
...As he climbed, she sank...
...whereupon he chomped down on her unwilling bosom...
Vol. 41 • April 2008 • No. 3
