BEN STEIN'S DIARY: Requiem
Stein, Benjamin J.
O BEGIN AT WHAT MAY BE theend,Iamlyinginbed. Mylungsareonfire.Iamsweatingevenwiththe air conditioning on. My head is spinning. I feel sharp shooting pains in my skin. I am sick,...
...Col., USMC, who will leave their wives and their kids behind to fight in 135-degree heat (yes, 135-degree heat) to protect total strangers...
...Aram Bakshian...
...What kind of person givesherhusbandherdog?Asaint.True,shehadtwo others, but you get the picture...
...Yes, he wants to go back andfightAmerica'senemiesandtheenemiesofallthe decent people on the globe...
...The gift is made on or before December 31, 2007...
...I was not nice to Pat and I feel guilty about it every day...
...Going back to Iraq...
...Saint Wifey, as I think of her...
...She insisted that we get a dog...
...I wonder if she's still the cutest girl at American University...
...IthinkI'lltakeanotherTranxeneandgotosleep...
...A close second was when my favorite dog of all time, Trixie, died and I had no dog...
...Angels from God...
...This is living...
...And yet he's just a friendly, cheery sort...
...That changed my whole life dramatically for the better...
...Then my father and then my mother, who did everything for me...
...A forest fire...
...Anyway, then I had a hellacious flight fromSpokanetoSeattle.AlaskaAirlinesissimplycollapsingasafunctioningentity.Toocrowded.Toolong a wait to get a gate...
...your lunch was good...
...Or at least in my life...
...Thenmysister,whocleanedupaftermewhen,as a high school junior, I vomited on myself in my sleep after my first night getting drunk on Hi-C and vodka...
...Not writing a book about his life...
...The military family is the marrow in the backbone of the nation...
...He lives near the airport...
...Tall, stands straight...
...B E N J A M I NJ .S T E I N N O V E M B E R 2 0 0 7 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R 6 3 Myfavoritespotonearthiswherever mywifeandthedogsare,butafterthat, it'sthediningroomofHill'sResortin LubyBay,PriestLake,Idaho...
...Dancing...
...I think it was called a Hillman...
...Drinking...
...Then life will just go flowing on...
...My mysterious pals Nan and Nancy...
...This is an innovative way to limit your tax liability, support publication of The American Spectator and help train the next generation of conservative journalists...
...Ormaybeitwasbecausethisverymorning,upin Sandpoint, Idaho, my favorite small town, I foolishly let my traveling companion, Phil DeMuth, talk me into going for an aggressive bicycle ride across the Long Bridge while there was smoke in the air...
...Where was the smoke from...
...Hewaskind,forbearing,generous,justagreat guy...
...There is a spa mywife will like...
...As usual, I made a list of the best things in my life and thanked God for them...
...Russ Ferguson...
...Then Phil, my genius, witty friend and traveling companion...
...All thanks to Dave McCarthy and those like him...
...I still have a lot to say to them and to hear from them...
...Smoking...
...Then Barron Thomas, who threw himself in front of a speeding train of insanity to save me...
...I have too many friends to die...
...John R. Coyne, Jr...
...Now, I am lying in bed and thinking I am about to die...
...I want to live to enjoy it...
...Col...
...Karl Rove...
...Great sense of humor...
...The gift will be counted against your required minimum distribution but will not be counted for income tax purposes (in exchange, the IRS does not permit a tax deduction on this amount...
...Julie Capretta...
...You know, it's fun to be young and drunk...
...I don't want to die, though...
...And hovering above all of these people, our son, thehandsomeTommy,whoisnowinSouthCarolina, God bless him...
...I want to see her again...
...Usually the Alaska fliers are the most polite in the world...
...So are their families...
...Every brother a great guy...
...B E NS T E I N ' SD I A R Y 6 4 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R N O V E M B E R 2 0 0 7 He's a fine figure of a man...
...Andofcourse,mydogs.Ikeepthinkingthatwhen Idie,theonlyonestonoticewillbeAlexandthedogs...
...Pat was an incredibly wonderful human being...
...Your donation is transferred directly from your IRA or Rollover IRA to the Foundation...
...Don't ask...
...While the rest of us are whining and feeling sorryforourselves(especiallyme),whilethepowers of finance are trying to get rich quick, Dave McCarthy and those like him are watching for their buddies on the left and on the right and in front and behind--and we, the whole nation--get to be their buddies...
...What do you think he's planning...
...ThenAlBurton,whotookcareofmewhenIcame to Hollywood and took care of me more than anyone I have ever worked with...
...Mary used to make fun of him, but it was good-natured...
...For more information, please contact: Patrick Pyles, The American Spectator Foundation, 1611 North Kent Street, Suite 901, Arlington, VA 22209 Ph: 703-807-2011 ext...
...There are people who will risk getting their heads blown off for men and women whom they will never meet...
...I don't want to die just yet...
...Then, Pat, who was my girlfriend when I was at Santa Cruz...
...The views are not to be believed...
...Grass growers...
...They have amore precious possession: their self-respect and their patriotism...
...Make a Gift from Your IRA THE PENSION PROTECTION ACT OF 2006 allows individuals age 7012 and above to make current gifts from their IRA accounts directly to nonprofits like The American Spectator Foundation...
...And she brought dogs into my life...
...I think it startedwhenIhadtodosomevoiceworkinaveryhot studio in the San Fernando Valley about a week ago...
...Now, think of all the lucky things that happened toyoutoday:Yourcarstarted;youhaveajob;youcan pay your bills...
...I had better get to sleep...
...To think that men and women from small towns in Mississippi and Kansas and Louisiana and Idaho wentofftofightanddieforuslazyslobsbackathome inWorldWarIIandinKoreaandVietnamandnowin IraqandAfghanistan.Thisisanactofmind-numbing generosityofspirit.Iprayforthemandtheirfamilies on my knees all through the day, and wow, do they deserve it...
...Wlady...
...The best person on earth...
...My great econ teacher, Lowell Harriss, who pointedthewayformycareerineconomics,suchasit is...
...And Colgate, where I spoke, is a gift from God...
...Then, I thanked God for all of the men and women who fight for this country and for freedom...
...Never...
...Who knows...
...To qualify: * You are age 7012 or older...
...Ben Stein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu...
...Then my college roommate, Arthur Best, world's quickest wit and a super roommate...
...That was where my first Weimaraner, Mary Margaret of Santa Cruz, came from...
...Stuart Arthur Reynolds, Lawrence HydeLissitzyn,RadfordCarterWest,GrantvanAllen Roberts (RIP...
...I could feel that smoke searing my lungs for hours...
...It is a close run thing but I amstillalive.So,offtodinnertonightwithLt...
...My wife gave me her dog, Ginger, a majestic German shorthaired pointer...
...Daniella Capretta...
...A pleasant sea breezeisblowingthroughtheroom.Thedogsare sleeping.IamlisteningtoMozart'sExsultateJubilate on my headphones...
...And dogs are--after my wife--my first love...
...He does not brag at all...
...Can you imagine how lucky, how blessed I am to be married to the best person on the planet...
...Bob Tyrrell...
...First, as always, my wife...
...OrmaybeitwasontheairplanebackfromSyracusea coupleofweeksago.(Ihavetotellyouthecountryside between Syracuse and Hamilton, New York, where I gave my speech, is fabulous...
...How did I get this way...
...Today was different...
...You really cannot know how perfect North Idahoisunlessyougothere.It'sheavenonearth...
...They have a staggering view of the water through the trees, tasty food, and a loving golden lab called Molly...
...God bless them for all eternity...
...I don't want to die...
...In a way, it's the perfect place...
...I haven't seen her for about, let's see, about 32 years...
...Have you ever seenthemoviewithBingCrosby,HolidayInn?It'ssort oflikethat.Fortiesstylearchitecture.Bigpicturewindows...
...Dave McCarthy, USMC, just back from his third year in Iraq, and his beautiful wife, Carie...
...SATURDAY IT'S SATURDAY...
...She's a lawyer now in New England and God bless her...
...I STILL DON'T FEEL WELL.Iamlyingon my bed at our house in Malibu...
...How can we ever thank him...
...Be sure to consult with your tax advisor prior to making your gift...
...I want to see the speedboats curling out in the still evening towards the immense, endless water...
...I am sick, sick, sick.Isitpneumonia?Isitasthma?Isitflu?Isit all of them...
...I feel as if it's all of them...
...They will risk losing their most precious possession--their lives--for us slobs sitting back at home on our fat asses...
...I want to live at the Seasons and be happy...
...How miserable I was there at Monkey Hills, and how lucky I was to have Barry as my friend...
...T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R F O U N D A T I O N...
...Not much, but enough to make me feel as if I had poured lighter fluid into my lungs and swallowed a lit match...
...Also did a year in Afghanistan...
...The gift is $100,000 or less per person for the calendar year...
...I just bought a lakefront condo in Sandpoint, at a fabulously beautiful place called the Seasons...
...Then,tomycollegegirlfriend,Mary,whowasthe 6 2 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R N O V E M B E R 2 0 0 7 B E NS T E I N ' SD I A R Y Requiem by Benjamin J. Stein W E D N E S D A Y N I G H T L A T E T firstwomanwhoeverreallydeeplylovedme.Shejust thought I was the greatest...
...it didn't rain...
...I don't want to die...
...Plus my tall friend Peggy...
...Then the brothers of the Alpha Delta Phi at Columbia in 1963-66...
...Myfavoritespotonearthiswherevermywifeand thedogsare,butafterthat,it'sthediningroomofHill's Resort in Luby Bay, Priest Lake, Idaho...
...My great teachers at Yale, Larry Simon, Bob Bork, Henry Wallich...
...Well, maybe I am mistaken here...
...Great guys...
...I want to spend more time with Molly...
...Then I did a stupid thing...
...Kind, patient, considerate...
...What times we had...
...He was the first person I knew whose parents had a foreign car...
...ButIcan'tsleep.Iamtoosicktosleep.Thankyou, God, for Barry Walker, my best friend in junior high school...
...This was the single kindest act in the history of mankind...
...Especially my father, but also my mother in her way...
...The most fun parties on earth...
...Not going to work on Wall Street...
...I'M STILL ALIVE...
...Once you have had a lovely, charming, witty woman (and wow, was she witty) fall in love with you, you have a better opinion of yourself forever...
...THURSDAY HEY...
...Howonearthdidweevergetthegiftofthesemen and women...
...25 * E-mail: pylesp@spectator.org Want to Help Spread Free Market, Conservative Ideas...
...Loud, crazy passengers yakking into their cell phones...
...He tells about life and death in Iraqinmatteroffactterms.IwishIhadone-tenthhis courage...
...I don't know...
...The amenities are fabulous...
...Then think of the most blessed, fortunate thing of all: There are men like Dave McCarthy, Lt...
...When I got home, I swam in my pool...
Vol. 40 • November 2007 • No. 9
