THE WINGERS' GAME: A CAMP DIARY
Freeman, Neal B.
If football is war by other means,Albany,New York,is Parris Island. If football is war by other means,Albany,New York,i Parris Island. 2 2 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R O C T O...
...He may be reached at nealfreeman@ blackwellcorp.com.N E A LB .F R E E M A N O C T O B E R 2 0 0 7 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R 2 5Read Coulter's take on her politics, Hillary, the environment, religion and more-dozens of new commentaries and hundreds of never-before-published quotations that have outraged her enemies and delighted her fans...
...Manning's play will depend in part on the play of twootherquestionmarks.Firstistherunning-back-bycommittee that will replace the retired Tiki Barber, whosebrilliantrunninglastyeartookconsiderableheat offManning'spassingoffense.UnlesswannabesJacobs, Droughns, Bradshaw, and Ward can replace Barber's O C T O B E R 2 0 0 7 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R 2 3 FByNealB.Freeman 1,600yards,thepressureonstill-youngEliManningwill ratchetupward.Ofevenmoreconcernisthelefttackle, themanwhoblockstheopponents'bestrusherfromthe quarterback'sblindside(Manningisrighthanded).Ifthe lefttackledoesn'tblockhisman,still-youngEliManning will be hit with great force by a 280-pound opponent chargingatfullspeed.Manningmaynotgetbackup.This prospect makes the left tackle an important man, so important that on many teams he's the highest-paid playerafterthequarterback.TheGiantsdon'thavealeft tackle...
...Theireveningsaredevotedtotheparsingoflineupsand the swapping of memories...
...A bigger than usual crowd begins to filter in and, for all you pop sociologists out there,afewobservations....Campisnotquitemen-only butclosetoit,someofthemenarrivinginthree-generationunits(bonding,asifbondingwerenotyetmandatory...
...Now who you gonna believe, some sensitivitytrainedmediagoo-goooryourownlyin'eyes...
...As an example, I said that when a footballcoachsays,"Helacksquickness"whathereallymeansis,"He'swhite...
...Noman,realorotherwise,wouldeverbuyaprogram.We wouldonlybefrustratedbythestupiderrors.Andthere's alittlebuzzaboutHillarythismorning,whothepapers sayhasmadeastartlingleapinnationalpolls.Wemaybe in the heart of New York but we're apparently nowhere near Hillary's base...
...Remember the old feminist line about Ginger Rogers, that she had to do everything Fred did but had to do it dancing backwards on high heels...
...Thedayendswiththefirstsquadcuts,fromwhich we campers always take small, atavistic satisfaction...
...Thentheteamcomesontothefield,stretches,and lines up for scrimmage...
...The nice girls, both of them, wear "Kiwanuka" jerseys, boostinglinebackerMathiasKiwanuka,aproductofthat greatUgandafootballprogram.Andthere'sarealcollector'sitem,ahome-stitched"Lorenzen...
...When he asks, "How's it going...
...Ann Coulter's funnies mos devastating, mos outrageous book to...
...A consensus emerges around the Days Inn, at 69 bucks a night including an all-you-can-eat (and stuffin-your-pants) breakfast...
...The prettiest sight a camper will ever see...
...The Deli, which offers a thick, meat-like sandwich for $3.50...
...At today's practice Coughlin is alternating two candidates with the first unit...
...It requires speed, quickness, and an insupportably high self-esteem...
...Well, let's do a little field research, sport fans...
...All of which makesitcleartouscampersthatfootballisnotjustfunin theautumnsun.Wehavealwaysconsidereditlikelythat footballwillsavethenation...
...Whimper is all-country and a bit awkward...
...Day Three BIG DAY TODAY...
...Most of the females, young and old, buy programs...
...Youshouldleavenow--anddon't stealtheplaybookonthewayout...
...I wouldn't recognize them in New York or D.C., and I couldn't tell you their names evenhere,butattrainingcamptheyarefriendsquickly made...
...TheGiantshavefourpotentialweaknesses.That'sa lotonateamwithonly22startingplayers.Theheadline question is at quarterback, where still-young Eli Manningisenteringhisfourthanddecisiveyear.Hehas thetalent,withalongbodyandabigarm.Hehasthelineage,asthebrotheroftheubiquitousPeytonandtheson ofthesaintedArchie,bothexceptionalquarterbacks.He hastheexperience,after20winsand19lossesasanNFL starter...
...To gain entry to the charmed circle requires onlythatyoufirstswipethecard--contributingastory, an anecdote, even some high-quality B.S...
...I suggest that it might go better if he changed his name toGuyThunder.Hesnortsandtwoimpressivelylarge globsofmucusbulbfromhisnostrils...
...And allblack...
...We are always looking forthenextLTandwearealwaysdisappointed...
...Answer: "He's the one with the red ass...
...These right here, baby, from which we can see all three practice fields and thus simulate the thrill of channel-surfingathome.(Asifthewifewouldeverlet us do that...
...Every play is designed, first, to probe for weakness and then, when it'sexposed,toattackitrepeatedlyuntiltheopponent is forced to compensate for it, thus creating another weakness...
...JaredLorenzen, asecond-stringpasser,weighs290poundsandiseither the new-new thing in pro quarterbacking or a really fat guy...
...remarks, some of them flavored by rich Jersey accents...
...It's about weakness...
...The so-called New York Giants actually play in Tony Soprano-land, a former swamp in north Jersey perfumedupas,wouldyoubelieveit,TheMeadowlands...
...Diehl is big enough, seems intelligent, and has the swagger of a confident athlete...
...A sample, sanitized for your protection,gentlereader.TomCoughlin,theGiants'head coach,whoisstrungastightlyasabanjo,insiststhathis assistantcoachesdressthesamewayhedoes.Thusthe question, broadcast to the group, "Which one is Coughlin...
...Which brings up another easy subject--race, or as CNN might put it, Race in America!IoncegotintroublewiththeNewYorkpress for saying that football talk was the last honest race talk in the country...
...Neal B. Freeman is chairman of the Blackwell Corporation...
...OnlyonememberoftheStanfordclassof2006hadaparentinthemilitary.SomeIvyLeagueschools,accordingto Kaplan, had no graduates at all enter the military last year.Thisseparationbetweenourgoverningandwarrior classes, he avers, is almost complete, with potentially perilous consequences for the Republic...
...Camp has begun and, with it, a running commentary from my bleacher brothers so profane and politically incorrect as to remind you of Don Imus before he scrambled back on the wagon...
...2 2 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R O C T O B E R 2 0 0 7 Day One OR A CERTAIN KIND OF MAN,theopeningoftraining camp is a tent-pole in the family calendar, a luminiferousdayrightuptherealongsideMemorialDayandThanksgivingandsomewhatahead of the wife's birthday...
...With the secret handshakes exchanged, the groupturnsquicklytologistics.Thebestplacetostay...
...Rocky's ambition was to filleveryoneofthosenewofficeswithastateemployee and,bygolly,heseemstohavepulleditoff.Nightlifein Albany...
...Lunch...
...Full disclosure-wise, I gave another example of honest race talk in that long-ago interview...
...Each summer this kind of man packs the bag and hauls the wagon to some remotevillagewhereheand80playersandafew hundredcoulda-beenplayersgetdowntothebusiness offootball.Albany,NewYork,issuchaplace.Itmaybe the capital of an important state, but it's more Brasilia than Paris, a bureaucratic outpost built by former Gov...
...AnnCoulter.com Ann Coulter's funniest, most devastating, most outrageous book to date...
...That of course would be Lawrence Taylor...
...Theplayersbeginstreamingontothefieldandwe clapandwhistle.It'sthebeginningofanewseasonand anewdream.Thecoaches,wholooklikeapackofMini Me'snexttothepaddedplayers,fanoutacrossthefield, barking orders and waving clipboards...
...about the greatest player who ever played...
...Some of these guys look familiar...
...Only nine Princeton graduates from the class of 2006 entered the military, down from 400 in the post-war (but still draft-prone) class of 1956...
...LT, the ultimate warrior, a giant amongGiants,alinebackerfastenoughtochasedown little guys and strong enough to manhandle big guys...
...Theotherpotentialweaknessisatcornerback,an "island"onwhichweaknesscanbeneitherhiddennor forgiven...
...While it's always good to have star players, in other words, it's even more important to have consistentlyhighqualityfromoneendoftherostertothe other...
...In the drenching midsummer heat before a crowd of a few hundred onlookers, these men play with a ferocious intensity...
...Football talk is different...
...Young Eli, aging rapidly, along with his prideofunhappycampers...
...When the various units break out for drills, there are 12 defensive backs, all preternaturally quick...
...Day Two CASUAL OBSERVERS TEND TO THINK that football is about strength...
...The only women are the few moms filling in for missingdadsandyoung,tightshirtedwomenwhoseem more interested in the players--or at least the players' cars--thantheteam.Thetartestofthegirlswearjerseys with "Shockey" on the back, the name of the Giants' occasionally excellent and unfailingly randy tight end...
...Camp, for my suburbanizedboys,waslikeanarchaeologicaldig...
...If the cornerback, while backpedaling, can't "mirror" the wide receiver, the other team scores easily--and thegaffeisinstantlyreplayedontheJumbo-screenfor all to savor in slow motion...
...Maybe, just maybe...
...You should leave now--and don't steal theplaybookonthewayout...
...It's not...
...By 7:15 in the morning we are settled in the tiny grandstand,acoupleofdozenstrangerswhosharethe oddcoincidenceofhavingseeneveryplayofeveryNew York Giants game played in the last 20 years...
...If they fail today, in cold fact,theycouldbeteachingphysednextmonthatahigh school in Alabama...
...Nelson Rockefeller as his personal monument to biggovernment Republicanism...
...No coin toss, no pompoms, no kickoff.Justplays,oneafteranotheraseachmantriesto whipthemanacrossfromhim.Someoftheplayersare veterans, sure of a place on the team and toning up for the real games in the fall...
...A team of good players will always beat a team ofstarsandslugs...
...I said that when a coach says, "He's having a little trouble pickingupourdefensiveschemes,"whathereallymeans is,"He'sblack...
...I have been studying these strange men for many years and feel that I understand themwell...
...It's pretty much confined to the late shift at Burger King, which is about all these men can handle...
...Interception...
...It's a world where winnerstakeallandlosersarevictimized.It'sprobably nottoomuchtosaythatfootballiswarbyothermeans.ThejournalistRobertKaplanhaswrittenaffectinglyonthelossofAmerica'swarriorspirit.Hehasreported some sobering facts...
...Whoo-whoo,callthethought cops...
...And he has the incentive to perform, with a salaryof$9.3millionforthe16-gameseason.Butcanhe be an effective leader and execute the 30-40 key plays thatwillmakeorbreaktheteamthisyear...
...They are not exactly busting theirbutts.Butmostoftheplayersarenewormarginal or returning from injury or bunched up at a crowded position...
...The other guy's weakness...
...ON HILLARY: "Hillary wants to be the first woman president, which would also make her the first woman in a Clinton administration to sit behind the desk in the Oval Office instead of under it...
...LT was The Man, with speed and power and an eagerness to mete out punishment...
...WhenIcouldstilldragmyownsonstocamp,Iwould explaintothemthatthiscamp-chatwashowmenused to talk back in ancient, pre-Oprah days...
...Great seats, that's why we're out here at dawn, alone on a football field, looking to a bemusedpasserbylikeacrazedwork-releasecrew...
...In contemporary America, when you cut somebody from the squad, you say, "Chuck, in view of these difficult market conditions, management has been forced to downsize and, despite your many contributions to the organization, the budget numbers just don't permit us tokeepyouon.Thishurtsusjustasmuchasithurtsyou, butremember,you'llalwaysbeamemberofourcorporate family...
...Forsomereason,therewasnowhoowhoo about that crack, but maybe there should have been.Itwasoutofbounds...
...David Diehl, a veteran guard, is an adequate interior mauler but may lack the footspeedtoplayoutside.GuyWhimperisalate-round draft choice from a year ago usually categorized as "a project," which means that somewhere along the line a coachthoughthesawpotential...
...Tough position, cornerback...
...Eager to get a sense of Diehl and Whimper, I approach them after practice...
...Even the women make derisory T H EW I N G E R S 'G A M E :AC A M PD I A R Y 2 4 T H E A M E R I C A N S P E C T A T O R O C T O B E R 2 0 0 7 "Chuck,theotherplayersarebetter thanyouareandwedon'twantyou...
...Best seats...
...Practice today is the biggestgameoftheiryounglives.Theyunderstandwhat we campers have long appreciated, that football is not just old school, but essentially binary, ravenous for result and impatient with process...
...Something like, "Chuck,theotherplayersarebetterthanyouareandwe don't want you...
...ThepracticeendswithManningflushedfromthe pocketandrollingright.Off-balance,hethrowsacross hisbodydownthefarsidelineintoaclutchofthreetall defenders and one short receiver, a doomed, drivebusting play annoyingly familiar from seasons past...
...We're "putting on the pads," which means that leather-popping, men-from-boys, full-contact hitting is on the bill...
...Most of them are fighting for jobs and, if they comeupshortthisafternoon,theymaynotgetanother chance tomorrow morning...
Vol. 40 • October 2007 • No. 8
