THE CONTINUING CRISIS
Tyrrell, R. Emmett Jr.
R . E m m e t t Ty r r e l l , J r . T H E C O N T I N U I N G C R I S I S May has taken a powder, and so to has Miss Cindy Sheehan, the anti-war superstar, who resigned from the peace...
...Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (which is roughly translated from Farsi, “I’m a’ dining alone...
...Osama bin Laden, the erstwhile playboy turned homicidal maniac for Allah...
...But apparently international celebrity was too much for Rose...
...offices...
...After all, look what it has done to our own Miss Britney Spears, Miss Lindsay Lohan, and the fated Miss Paris Hilton...
...Dadullah¡¯s death occasioned a letter of condolences to the deceased¡¯s brother from none other than the Rev...
...Dadullah ¡°to follow in the steps of my brother¡±.perhaps the Dadullahs once bested Harry at the gaming tables or got into his lingerie collection...
...the suffix “jad” means filthy undershorts), roused the ire of Islamicists who are even more demented than himself...
...The Crisis continues...
...There she might join with those still nostalgic for the 1960s and create arty anti-Bush/antiHalliburton bumper stickers or write for the theater...
...Iraq¡¯s interior minister announced that yet another leader of al Qaeda in Mesopotamia, Mr...
...Attired in beach costume, he was effervescing J U L Y / A U G U S T 2 0 0 7 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR 1 1...
...In Gaza, stalwarts from Hamas and Fatah spent the month killing each other, and Israel rounded up 32 Hamas leaders, perhaps for their own safety...
...Carlson, who has become a regular feature of this column, suffered such a seizure he was reported to have threatened a 27-yearold clerk in a Washington video store because, as he explained to the Washington Post, ¡°I¡¯ve had serious problems with stalkers twice.¡± This time the troubled Mini-con, known around the MSNBC offices as ¡°Happy Bottom,¡± accosted a man much his senior and hurled insults interspersed with loud laughter, until embarrassment apparently set in...
...Abu Ayyub al-Masri, had been bumped off, this time by local insurgents...
...Early in May the Iranian president, Mr...
...Yet for this prodigy of the modern left, doubtless a bright future beckons...
...He could have insisted that he was only licking the Iranian lady¡¯s hand, Iranian women being known for their high salt content...
...UN inspectors confirmed that the Iranians have ignored yet another deadline to cease and desist from enriching uranium...
...In Europe, Prime Minister Tony Blair announced his departure from Number 10 Downing Street, effective June 27...
...Or she might settle in Manhattan with others on the literary left...
...The last time Mr...
...Miss Sheehan’s plans remain characteristically unsettled, even mercurial...
...Life at the top can be perilous...
...I have become addicted to breast surgery.¡± Well, at least she was not on steroids...
...The possibilities are endless...
...According to Al Jazeera, the former disco parlor that now serves as a leading Arab television station, Mr...
...And in Afghanistan, officials proudly displayed the body of the Taliban¡¯s most notorious commander, Mr...
...Haji Mansour (pronounced, moolah) Dadullah, from an undisclosed location in Dubai...
...The officious dithering over Iran’s acquisition of nuclear weapons continues at the United Nations, where diplomats may still double park with impunity...
...The poor sap was photographed kissing the hand of an elderly woman, who had been his schoolteacher many years ago, but who apparently could still serve as an incendiary device to the volatile Muslim libido...
...Rose the goat died in Sudan...
...R . E m m e t t Ty r r e l l , J r . T H E C O N T I N U I N G C R I S I S May has taken a powder, and so to has Miss Cindy Sheehan, the anti-war superstar, who resigned from the peace movement on Memorial Day weekend, just hours after the Democratic Party let her down, acquiescing in President George W. Bush’s demand that Congress fund our army in Iraq without entoiling the appropriations bill with that withdrawal schedule that would have been be so helpful to her friends amongst the Islamofascists...
...How about a light-hearted Broadway musical about the jihadist beheading of a group of German birdwatchers who strayed from a nature preserve in suburban Baghdad and enraged Muslim pietists with their immodest lederhosen...
...The story gained international attention after a news story of the nuptials was posted on the website of the Juba Post during one of those rare instances when the electricity was working...
...It has happened again!Young Mr...
...In Serbia, urologist, Dr...
...Tucker Carlson lost control in the hallway of MSNBC¡¯s Washington, D.C...
...Finally, a proud German real estate agent¡¯s efforts to claim possession of the title for having the largest breasts in Europe have eventuated in ignominy and unemployment...
...Abu Ayyub al-Masri, had been bumped off, this time by local insurgents...
...and France elected a pro-American president, M. Nicolas Sarkozy, setting off the usual street demonstrations and cafe hilarity...
...Possibly she will settle in Pakistan’s wild and wonderful western provinces, say in Waziristan, where she might assist in the tourist trade, perhaps inviting like-minded Americans to don native costume and enjoy the stony gullies and romantic caves...
...Carlson has been down on his luck since the economically strapped network ceased to broadcast his show in color, and now he is being moved to a CBS game show, perhaps for schoolchildren...
...Saddam Hussein...
...It was a sad month for the animal rights movement...
...Photographed wearing thick gloves, a long black coat, and a gloomy headscarf, the old lady seemed to be attired in the raiment of a beekeeper...
...down the hallway en route to a taping of some sort when he observed an elderly gentleman seated in the MSNBC Green Room and suffered another of his public seizures...
...Since childhood I dreamt of big breasts,¡± she informed a local Hun gazette...
...Iraq¡¯s interior minister announced that yet another leader of al Qaeda in Mesopotamia, Mr...
...Srecko Djordjevic (pronounced, dj-dj-¢¼¢¾vik) interjected a rare interlude of laughter in that glum country when he announced that Serbian farmers were exchanging their cows for penis enlargement operations...
...Under Sharia the bikini is outlawed —even for men...
...In his letter of condolence to the Dadullah brother, he urged Mr...
...He is alive, active, and well,¡± reported Mr...
...Taki Theodoracopulos, was known simply as ¡°Harry bin Laden.¡± It seems, however, that Harry has not lost his droll sense of humor...
...The size of a man¡¯s member seems to play a big role in our society,¡± he quipped, noting that penile enhancement surgery is about the price of a cow...
...Can a large paper shredder serve as a basso continuo...
...There was more news from the Middle East¡¯s zanies...
...Mullah (pronounced, moolah) Dadullah, who had been freshly killed and by now may have been eaten...
...The Lebanese army began an amusing shelling of a Sunni Islamist group that had holed up in a Palestinian refugee camp...
...Actually the Rev...
...Miss Annina Ulrich, 29, who has grown her bust to a colossal 42 H cup, has been fired by her employer...
...Or perhaps one of Miss Sheehan’s friends within the artistic community could compose a modern orchestral work relying solely on instruments of torture found in the prisons of the late Mr...
...Charles Tombe, to marry Rose after he was discovered having sex with her...
...This type of indecency,” snarled one of the mullah’s most pious newspapers, “progressively has grave consequences, like violating religious and sacred values...
...Truth be known, 1 0 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR J U L Y / A U G U S T 2 0 0 7 R . E M M E T T T Y R R E L L , J R . had poor President Ahmadinejad been quick on his feet the whole imbroglio might have been avoided...
...is probably not as ¡°active¡± as back in the good old days in London and Geneva where he always had the largest library of Victoria¡¯s Secret catalogues and, according to terrorist expert Mr...
...Last February, elders in the rustic village of Juba ordered a local animal rights activist, Mr...
...Yet not all is going swimmingly in Iran, where, after all, swimming can raise issues religious in nature and disciplinary...
Vol. 40 • July 2007 • No. 6
