LAST CALL: Foods Unlimited
Klein, Philip
LAST CALL Foods Unlimited by Philip Klein T HE ROOMMATE GODS WERE UNKIND to me when I studied in London for a semester during college. Danillo, who came from outside Rome, often spoke...
...Americans tend to be especially focused on food—after all, we have an entire television channel devoted to it...
...Others choose to bring up television...
...The long conversation that followed could have been the punch line to a joke: What do a New York Jew and a Roman Sadist talk about when trapped in a room together...
...A great sauce raises food to the level of poetry,” my brother Bruce once pontificated...
...One time, in a drug-induced stupor, he interrupted my nap to accuse me of smearing feces on his pink bathrobe...
...It also taught me a tactic that I employ to this day...
...One day, however, I began to lament the meager culinary fare in London...
...Danillo, who came from outside Rome, often spoke glowingly of the Marquis de Sade as he gestured wildly with his hands and paused to take drags from an ever-present hash joint...
...As for Danillo, he fled London abruptly, after weeks of paranoid delusions involving unsavory characters who were hunting him down...
...The soft, over-cooked pastas...
...We bonded instantly...
...There are even those who don’t see many movies or watch TV at all...
...he queried...
...For me, this is the best,” he would say when rhapsodizing his cannabis of choice...
...But throughout the world, countries have their own culinary traditions and national dishes, and they celebrate holidays with large feasts...
...It has been said that food is the only art form that appeals to all five senses— from the smell of smoking barbecue to the melody of a deep fryer, truer words were never spoken...
...But everybody eats...
...I may disagree with my liberal friends about universal healthcare or whether President Bush is the Antichrist, but we can always enjoy a good slice of pizza...
...We did not have much in common...
...But try striking up a conversation in Budapest about the latest episode of The Sopranos...
...The bland, watery sauces...
...Though my family may have a special connection with food, the older I get, the more I realize that this passion is by no means unique...
...So whenever I ruminate about food, I feel confident that I’ll have plenty of company...
...That may get you through an elevator ride, but not much more...
...I never got to say goodbye, but we’ll always have penne...
...Only you can’t eat the David...
...Some people think of the weather as a reliable icebreaker...
...Before I visited my grandmother in the hospital one time, she was sure to remind me to bring bars of Cadbury’s chocolate (the 78 THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR JUNE 2007 Dairy Milk variety, not Fruit & Nut...
...Beyond tasting good and being essential for our sustenance, food has deep religious and cultural connections...
...When I go to my favorite pizzeria in Brooklyn and watch the septuagenarian proprietor Dominick spread the dough apart, ladle the tomato sauce, pour the olive oil, place on chunks of fresh mozzarella, sprinkle aged parmesan on top, and stick his calloused bare hands in the scorching pizza oven, I know that I am watching an artist who has mastered his craft every bit as well as Michelangelo...
...How does the grub over there compare to the Chinese food we get here...
...When I called my father from Beijing a few years ago, he didn’t ask me to describe my stroll through the Forbidden City or to elaborate on China’s economic transformation...
...Movies may be more universal, but some viewers like Bergman, while others prefer Borat...
...You’re just projecting,” he insisted...
...This family sweet tooth extends all the way down to my nephew, who by the age of five had already mastered the art of doublefisting my mother’s brownies...
...And I must admit that I come from a family that is quite obsessed...
...The stale bread...
...Over the years, I’ve been surprised by how many times bringing up the subject of pastries could endear me to difficult co-workers or spruce up potentially dull social encounters...
...LAST CALL Foods Unlimited by Philip Klein T HE ROOMMATE GODS WERE UNKIND to me when I studied in London for a semester during college...
...I mentioned to my brother Marc that I was thinking of writing something about food as a universal conversation topic, and he dismissed my theory...
...When in a difficult social situation, turn the conversation immediately to food...
Vol. 40 • June 2007 • No. 5
