THE ALTERNATIVE'S GALLERY OF FRAUDS
Tyrell, R. Emmett Jr.
T H E Published remarkably without regard to race, color, creed, or (most redundantly of all) national origin. Editor in Chief, R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr. Publishers, T h e Saturday Evening...
...Then too there was our county prosecutor...
...She could not possibly have known of their dated contents, nor was it very important that the maybe two hundred recipients of these handouts would have evidence of Moris' faintheartedness...
...Charitably I suggested he sober up and discuss the matter with m e at a more civilized hour, but he either hung up or passed out...
...H e would have made a grand clown...
...George Nathan D John Kelley Associates, Jameson G. Campaigne, Jr...
...It was all so gorgeously amusing that National Review would have made it into a record were it not for our inadequate recording devices...
...by George Nathan 5 THE GREAT AMERICAN SERIES 8 JENSEN A N D THE FADING LIBERAL D O G M A OF EQUALITY by John C. Meyer 10 1970: A FOREBODING by W. K. Ferry 11 BRAYINGS FROM THE LEFT by Assorted Jackasses 15 ^ U e /Ute^Hjotlue^d^ Qall&Uf o^ ^nxmjcil by R. Emmett At the imiversities there was a time when those intellectually above water discussed Chaucer and Shakespeare, Plato and The Federalists, Caesar, Napoleon and the rise of the Great Republic...
...First let m e consider the magnificent Montag...
...The Alternative has always adjudged student leftists as mindless faddists, no more profound than the last decade's frat rat and an index to an ideology in decline...
...Montag was trying to be funny...
...Special Effects, D. Peyton McQuillen Dr...
...Originally published on restroom walls, only since 1967 has it come under purview of the Saturday Kvening Club which publishes it from Septenlber through June...
...T H E Published remarkably without regard to race, color, creed, or (most redundantly of all) national origin...
...His graceful and warmly human dedication "To Betty, Tony, and Sammy, who cheerfully followed m e into the wilderness," brought a chuckle even to m y most dour Hoosier friends, for we have always held a warm spot for transients from the East...
...and is little more than an exaggerated graduate student, we asked him to debate National Review's senior editor, Frank S. Meyer, for Moriss is an instinctive ideologue and Meyer renowned for his kindliness...
...N o w the distinguished professor doctor gets a little lathered up at these affairs, and he recklessly agreed to debate someone his own age...
...Morrisss was trying to be intelligent...
...The stage was our second gala "Alternative Week" which, as it attempts to apprehend truth by presenting debates between our home-grown Liberals and conservatives shipped froni afar, is a relict of prehistory...
...So in yet another stab at relevance we shall here discuss that most relevant of all issues — the comic decline of Ritualistic Liberalism...
...Then too his preface entailing a few imaginative solecisms was good for a laugh...
...Subscriptions cost $10.00, and all correspondence (manuscripts, subscriptions, threatening letters, federal granis, etc...
...But for a violent primitive I can hold only contempt...
...For as the thoughtful minority on every campus knows, Liberals dominate the university, and as their dated programs no longer seem capable of solving social problems, they have panicked, becoming creatures of instinct rather than of reason — fearful and disparaging of anyone the least to their right...
...bosis of the left occurred when Dr...
...Rudolph Montag showed leftists to be silly, and Professor Doctor Morrriss showed them to be sillier...
...International CommunOUR FRIEND ENTERS HIS OFFICE Page 12 ism and American Policy, has some terribly humorous moments, though I did not read it all...
...N o indeed...
...And I even felt embarrassment for this poor m a n when he sent a silly, pompous telegram to National Review, begging off...
...Shaken and on the edge of tears, she informeS^ us of her molestation, and I could do no less than immediately lodge a complaint with our county prosecutor, Mr...
...He even boasted to his class of Meyer's imminent destruction, tsk, tsk...
...As Sidney Hook has cunningly observed, "Despite the prevalence of anti-intellectualism, and perhaps partly because of it, the student population has become 'moralistic...
...Though Morrisss has but an M.A...
...On the afternoon of ther supposed debate the liberal Mr...
...Yet he cooed so self-righteously and subjectively, even conservatives in the audience were slow to identify him as a fraud...
...But then what a shame we did not record the resourceful Doctor Morriss...
...Finally at one o'clock on the morning of debate this famous free thinker and disciple of "dialogue" summoned his courage, telephoned your servant, and rancorously informed m e of his irreversible withdrawal...
...C. H. Simonds D John R. Coyne, Jr...
...Dripping with cream, crumbs and Liberalism, the cool Montag apologized to his audience, while his leftist interrogator added, "I do hope you don't think I was responsible for that...
...After all there was always old Shuffle Step Moriss, the foreign policy buff...
...Continental U. S. A. T O B A R E T H E W I T N E S S A N D T H E T R U T H CONTENTS THE ALTERNATIVE'S GALLERY OF FRAUDS by R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr 2 VIETNAM: LET'S GIVE THE DOVES THEIR LIMB by Stephen McKinley 3 JACK KEROUAC, RIP by John R. Coyne, Jr 4 WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BUG HOUSE SQUARE...
...should be sent to The Alternative, R. R. 11, Box 360, Bloomington, Indiana 47401...
...The most instructive and amusing recent thromPage 2 Tyrrell, Jr...
...W h e n we sought Morriss' services he was at one of his "teach-ins" inveighing against America for, as nearly as I could ascertain...
...Chaucer must be replaced by scribblers from the louse undergroimd, Plato by Herr Marcuse, and I suppose Julius Caesar, the Roman, yields to Cesar Chavez, the retired grape picker...
...Unfortunately I must confess that though I was amused by this quip from his acknowledgment, "It is m y poignant duty to acknowledge m y debt to Otto Kirchheimer who read the entire manuscript just before his death," m y blood froze, and I did not dare continue the book...
...Naturally he completely hooked the leftists...
...Publishers, T h e Saturday Evening Club Managing Editor, Baron von Kannon Assistant Managing Editor, Jnw Rock, D. D. Circulation Manager, Gregg F. Shull Senior Editors, HoN...
...Today only the intellectually sybaritic ever touch such stuff...
...Truman Newberry Rev...
...The denouement came when, while answering a leftist's question, an air-bome pie mashed him in the face...
...he was trying to be invisible...
...Contributors, Miss Mathews D Jan Sherrill John Marcuse Sundt D Ron Burr Tom Hamill D Ken Cox Marco Doyne D Sir Arthur Wellesley Kevin Berry D Mary Qwaint Alien Contributors, Alan Somehs, M.D...
...Montag proved their mindlessness...
...This learned man's only book...
...at least on Vietnam...
...I doubt he ever intended to carry out his agreement to debate Meyer, for on four separate occasions he threatened m y colleagues with an "elegant bugout...
...Under these circumstances it would be sheer utopianism for The Alternative to expect a conservative on Indiana's faculty to defend any conservative position whatsoever...
...But with the left's noisy gaggle of ideologues holding "Indoctrination-Ins" and propagandizing their classes, we surely expected to find (Continued on Page 12) TYRRELL (Continued from Page 2) someone willing to defend the left's position...
...Thomas Berry, whose assistant promised an immediate investigation and subsequent report...
...Morriss viciously accosted a young girl innocently dispensing announcements for the evening's debate...
...Of course The Alternative has never really been able to resist the lure to go along with the crowd...
...Rudolph Montag Art Director, Wayne Stringer The Alternative was founded in 1924 by George Nathan and Tnmaan Newberry over a cheap domestic beer in McSorley's Old Ale House...
...The next day in the paper our impeccable leftist professor added, "I do hope we can lessen the tension that made this boorish young m a n do his thing with the pie...
...This is the Age of Relevance, and today we at the university dwell on what relates to today, which is what the cynics call suspended animation...
...N o w I have always held sympathy for human frailty...
...And in a world circumscribed by morality neither Chaucer nor Plato has any business...
...However, in a frenzy this dedicated humanist tore the announcements from the girl's hands, destroyed them and publicly denounced her...
...Original Sin...
...Falsely billed as a professor from Columbia, he delivered a dreary, aimless lecture incorporating sentence fragments in search of antecedents, paralogisms, absurd statistics and asinine platitudes...
...Moriss is one of those tragic figures in American history who, having been endowed by the Deity with prodigious talent, alas lacks the courage to pursue his real vocation...
Vol. 3 • February 1970 • No. 4
